This is Chiba calming down and writing a memoir about sex, and it is also a journey of sexuality's growth. The following is the second part.

Chiba recalled: Originally, I didn't buy MP4, and in the first year of high school, there were one or two people in our dormitory who used their mobile phones to watch movies and listen to songs. Oh, I remember one thing, when I was in the third year of junior high school, I seemed to have bought three or four of those discs at home, and when people were away, I turned down the sound very low, closed the door at home, sat next to the TV and fast-forwarded to watch, and I was very panicked, listening to the movements around me, ready to adjust to the satellite channel at any time, and then increasing the volume so that I would not be suspected, sometimes someone can only listen to the sound with headphones at home, and do not turn on the TV. Later, I learned that it was called a tertiary film. At that time, I was cheeky enough to pick out a box of DVDs wrapped in a black bag.

Chiba recalled: When I was a freshman in high school, I was influenced by my classmates, and I saw that I could watch it alone with headphones on the palm of my hand, and I felt good about it slowly, so my head was hot, so I went to buy the first MP4, and in addition, I liked to watch cartoons, plus I could listen to songs and watch that kind of thing. At first, I thought that my MP4 could download a lot of anime, and I could download all of Inuyasha, but the person who helped me download said that I could only download four or five episodes, and I also needed to convert the format, which was quite troublesome. I didn't know how to do it myself, so I started trying to go to an Internet café to download the cartoons I liked to watch. At that time, I first went online, and many times I didn't return, so I went to the county town to ask others to help me, two or three yuan per episode, which was quite expensive at that time, and the price of a bowl of noodles was very unworthy.

Chiba recalled: Later, I went online many times, and gradually found a way to become a download master. At that time, the only thing that could be downloaded in the town outside the high school was Le's Internet café, and other Internet cafes were not allowed to download, saying that it would slow down their Internet speed. The school opened its doors every two weeks, and I watched Inuyasha in my freshman and sophomore years of high school, and I watched a lot of the famous ones I have seen so far in my sophomore and junior years. Now I mainly watch those few films, and occasionally I look at other things in the store, but there are very few. The kind of short animation that is a bit H, I also watched one or two at that time, such as the 12-episode "My Fox Fairy Girlfriend", which shouldn't be counted.

Chiba recalled: Regarding that kind of movie, I looked for two years in the first and second years of high school, but I couldn't find it, and I couldn't see it on the Internet, and naturally there was no place to download it. So there's no way. I can only watch my favorite cartoons.,I want to secretly use my parents' huge sum of money to buy an MP4 for the first time.,Being able to watch that kind of video is a major reason.,But that thing can be met but not sought.,During the high school holidays.,When I go home.,I bought some DVDs on the day of the market.,But it's rare.。

Chiba recalled: During the first semester of high school, I saw a lot of super H CDs in a store, the kind of super H, and suddenly I had an idea, I could ask the store owner to help me transfer the content of the disc to my MP4, so I passed a few CDs during the holidays, and at that time it was ten yuan to pass two DVDs. At that time, I was tired of watching too much, so I deleted it after reading it.

Chiba recalled: In college, there was nothing about that, and in the second semester of our freshman year, our dorm room was crazy, and every Saturday we gathered to look at that, and some computers put a lot of that stuff in it. I'm somewhat impressed, even though I never watch with them. It was also in the second semester that I learned how to read and download things online.

Chiba recalled: It's been a long time, or for some reason, sometimes I will download a few on the Internet to see, and I usually delete it after reading it, and that kind of thing will be very disgusted when I see too much at once, in the end, it's just a little bit of something back and forth, but if the actress is beautiful, it's still worth watching back and forth, that thing is like money, less is uncomfortable, it's a kind of adult need, and it's also troublesome to see more, very tired, or disgusting.

Chiba recalled: People who lived a happy life at the beginning and have always been like this are different from people who lived a hard life at the beginning, and then the conditions became better, and the happiness in the back can be more experienced, and the people who were cared for and favored by the society at the beginning and have always been like this, and the people who were abandoned by the society at the beginning, ridiculed and neglected, and then received the love of others and social recognition are also different, and the latter can appreciate the value of love. In the same way, it is impossible for a person who has never fallen into the darkness of the abyss to experience true light. And the real ordinary life is to master the balance between the two endpoints, moderately, calmly, and indifferently to live.

Chiba recalled: About sex, in moderation, go with the flow, meet basic needs, no more, no less, just in moderation, or prefer the life of the blue sky and grass.

After the sexual memories ended, Chiba began to plan his life again. Go to the library to borrow books, search for materials on the Internet, and talk to people. In terms of ability and experience, I usually participate in various activities that are interesting to me, can improve myself, and are beneficial to my future work, get along with my classmates, live well, and help each other. Then there are my hobbies, anime, famous books, philosophy, prose, table tennis, psychology, real life inner world, and some good friends, not too many, no need to communicate often, write something.

People don't change themselves because they meet someone, but you really want to change within you, you will notice the person who can change you, and only at that moment, your ears will be able to hear the call from afar. If you cannot be freed from heart-burning desires, you will not be able to attain inner joy and peace.