These shadows that we have suppressed, as well as the various emotions that we have not been recognized by our parents and the environment since we were young, these are all unreleased energy, stored in our cellular memory. They come up to the table from time to time and cause us a nuisance, but we don't want to look at them. So, how do we do it?

So we have developed a lot of strategies to escape these imminent restlessness, impetuousness, sudden outbursts, inexplicable sadness, and the mental chatter of "you are not good enough, you are wrong, you are not as good as others, you are not perfect".

What strategies have we developed?

Any addiction, including shopping, partying, and binge, is because there is something unspeakable. Working hard, drinking, smoking, all kinds of addictions, watching TV, chasing stars, exercising, helping others, constantly reading, studying, going to nightclubs, changing partners, changing jobs, and creating all kinds of dramas in life.

There are also workshops, 7 pujas, empowerments, churches, and Mass. If you don't face your dark side, it's useless to just go to class, devotional, participate in all kinds of religious activities, or even take mantras, chant scriptures, pray, and sing hymns. You don't want to face that part of yourself, like that rabbit hole in Alice's Wonderland, so deep and dark that even Jesus, Buddha, any of the gurus can't touch it. Healing can only happen if you are willing to go in and explore, take out the contents and spread them out in the sun for healing, or bring the light to the cave.

There is also a strategy called - projection. What is projection? For example, I was taught from a young age that I should be a smart person, and I thought I was smart, so I suppressed and denied that I was not smart. So, when I see unintelligent people, he reminds me of the part of my inner self that I don't want to face, so I especially hate unintelligent people and have no patience with them. In the same way, when you have an opinion about a certain type of person or their behavior, and you don't like it in particular, it is a kind of self-projection behavior, and it is also an escape strategy.

There are two ways to examine your own thoughts:

A (event→ B (beliefs, ideas) → C (results). A is always neutral, because the same A will happen to different people, and C will appear. For example, if my mother-in-law doesn't look good when she sees me (A), if I think she hates me (B), I feel sad (C), but if I think she is in a bad mood (B1), I will be very neutral (C1) and pay attention to my interactions with her. If I think she's because she's not feeling well (B2), I'm sorry to be extra nice to her (C2). So different Bs, different Cs, also affect the relationship between me and my mother-in-law.

Another great way to do this is to have a thought behind each of our negative emotions that supports it. Because emotions are the body's response to being stimulated by our thoughts. Examine the thoughts behind your negative emotions to see if they can be validated.

After sorting out my thoughts, meditate on my "mantra" to decipher the pattern of life - "I see and accept that I have the painful feeling of being betrayed and deceived, and then let go of the need for it."