But when he saw Zhang Weizhao's calm face and heard her steady voice, he felt that these words were a little unspeakable. Not only can't I say it, but I feel that I feel ridiculous that I have these thoughts.

He restrained the smile on his face, sat upright, lowered his head slightly, turned his eyes sideways to look at the potted plants behind Zhang Weizhao, did not look directly at Zhang Weizhao, and whispered word by word: "Tell me, what do I have to be afraid of, if you say it right, I will abide by your rules." ”

Whether he is smart and obedient, arrogant or ruthless, they are all his masks. At this moment, he is willing to take off these masks, he wants to see if the person on the other side has the strength to see his true self.

Zhang Weizhao knew that she was facing the visitor's first trial. Her answers will determine whether the counseling will be terminated immediately or continued.

Different psychologists have different styles. There is a gentle drizzle style, and there is a sharp blood type. Therefore, it is important to find the right psychologist for you. Zhang Weizhao prefers to deal with problems neatly and neatly, and if you succeed, you will find someone else if you don't succeed.

So she said, "You're afraid of being abandoned." Fear of being found out that you are a cowardly and incompetent child with a dark heart that no one wants. ”

Zhou Rong was originally like a taut bow, he waited for the other party to poke him and reveal his obscene secrets, just like Zhang Weizhao was holding a needle to pierce his flesh and skin. But I don't want Zhang Weizhao to suddenly have no head and no brains to say such a paragraph, I don't know what to say.

Zhou Rong was greatly disappointed, and stood up with a slap on the table: "Nonsense! I thought you were so good, but that's how good you are! ”

Stand up and leave.

Zhang Weizhao said later: "If the time is not full, you will be charged once if you quit halfway." ”

Zhou Rong was even more annoyed, regardless of the inconvenience of his legs and feet, and quickly walked out of the door. When he arrived outside the door, he shouted to his little servant to hand the consultation fee to Daddy Han, who was guarding the door, and got into the car and left.

Zhang Weizhao shrugged, opened the notebook on the table, and wrote down today's date, the names of the visitors, the questions of the first visit, and so on.

Just wrote a few lines, only to hear a bang, the door of the clinic was opened, Zhou Rong limped in, and stood opposite Zhang Weizhao: "What do you mean by the child that no one wants?" ”

Zhang Weizhao didn't speak, raised his head, looked up and down at Zhou Rong, who leaned forward slightly, and stood opposite him in an overwhelming manner.

Zhou Rong was swept away by this gaze, coughed, and sat down.

Zhang Weizhao went to close the door and came back to sit down.

"It means," Zhang Weizhao looked at Zhou Rong's eyes and said slowly: "Being obsessed with obscene clothes is just a superficial problem. I think what you need to deal with more is your helplessness of being abandoned and the anger that comes with it. ”

Zhou Rong's teeth were clenched, his body couldn't help but tremble slightly, and he wiped his face: "I think you know." How do you know? ”

Clients often have an expectation of the psychiatrist that they don't have to say anything for the other person to see through them. It's actually an illusion. Zhang Weizhao didn't want to fuel this illusion of his, and she didn't intend to play the role of Almighty God in front of visitors.

She only knew because she was very careful.

"When you injured your leg, it was a woman's belly that was used to hold the wound."

"You've found it all?"

"You can do it if you want to hide. But you're not trying to hide, are you? ”

Zhou Rong was silent. He didn't know what was going on with him. He was very afraid of others, especially his parents, who knew about him, and he was so scared to death. Sometimes, however, he wanted them to see him for what he really was, to see them angry and sad about his affairs.

My father was always sanctimonious and always far from home.

Mother is always very busy, busy taking care of her sick grandparents, busy walking around the princess's mansion, busy with some personal contacts, busy marrying her brother, so busy that she has no time to see how he grew up.

They threw him at the nurse. They had no idea what the nurse had done to him! They just need him to be well-behaved, smart, and obedient!

When he was very young, he didn't understand what the nurse meant by what he did. He didn't understand why she pressed him against her dirty clothes and rubbed them, why she put her hands into his pants to pull him, pinch him, and let him put her hands inside her dirty clothes. I don't know what she meant by the actions she tricked him to.

He only knew that if he was disobedient and didn't please her, she wouldn't pay attention to him, and would put himself in an empty house, saying that Brother Rong was not well-behaved, and he had a temper, just let him calm down for a while.

For the young Zhou Rong, it was a very large room, with high beams, high tables and chairs, and a high threshold. It was so quiet in the room that it was as if the whole world had disappeared, and there was no one else but him. He was very, very scared, especially when it was dark.

He had no choice but to be obedient, obedient, and a good child as required by the nurse.

His mother especially trusted the nurse and said that she had taken care of the child well and was very obedient.

Until he was seven years old, the nurse would hold him around and feed him. Once, he didn't want to feed anymore, so he reached out and waved it, and inadvertently hit the nurse in the face. Since then, the nurse has reined in, no longer punishing him at every turn, but giving him a lot of delicious and fun, saying all day long in this world, except for his parents, the nurse loves him the most, as if he is his own son.

Sometimes, he felt that what the nurse said was true, and he believed in her very much and relied on her. But sometimes, he was so disgusted that he wanted to run away.

My brother married my sister-in-law, and my sister-in-law came over for a year and began to help my mother take care of the house. The sister-in-law said to her mother that Brother Rong is older, and it is not good to sleep with the nurse every day, let him learn to sleep by himself, and assign him a few careful and thoughtful maids to be on duty at night, sleep in the outer room of his bedroom, and be on call.

He was very unaccustomed at first, and always wanted to find the nurse at night, missing her soft embrace and her constant companionship. His mother and sister-in-law also laughed at him for being spoiled and not growing up as a baby.

But slowly, he got used to sleeping alone, and began to dislike being around more and more. He and the nurse are also becoming more and more estranged. The nurse always told him how much she loved him, but he was just silent when he heard it. When there was no one in private, the nurse still wanted to hug him, but he was very impatient and broke free with all his might.

When he was nine years old, the nurse resigned, saying that her mother-in-law was seriously ill and wanted to go back to fulfill her filial piety. Zhou Rong's parents are people who value filial piety, so naturally they will not refuse. When the nurse said goodbye to him, she cried tears, but he stood still and said nothing. The nurse didn't come back after she left the house.

Zhou Rong is getting bigger and bigger, and gradually understands what the nurse did to him when he was a child means something. He was disgusted and angry.

He hated the nurse for doing such a beastly thing to him.

However, he hated himself even more, because to this day, he still has nostalgia and nostalgia for such a person.

He used to believe her words, thinking that in this world, only she cared about him, and the secret between the two of them could no longer be told to others. Because at that time, he was the only one who was always by his side. However, she betrayed his trust.

But until now, when Ren mentions her, he still says that she is a very gentle person. Every time he heard such words, Zhou Rong had a feeling of wanting to vomit, so he could only lower his head and not speak. She was very gentle, a serpent-like gentleness.

He had told himself that it was all a thing of the past. All of this should be forgotten. But during the day, it was okay, but at night, the nurse's body would transform into all kinds of white and soft shapes, so entangled that he couldn't breathe, and when he tried to break free, he suddenly showed a terrifying and hideous face to him.

He found that he was different from other teenagers. Other teenagers are full of curiosity and fantasy about girls. But he was full of fear and disgust at the woman's approach.

When the girl's hand touched him, it would make him shake suddenly, as if the nurse's ten-fingered hand was grabbing him again. The girl's affectionate eyes also made him very afraid, and he always felt that that gentle and sweet face would reveal a hideous face to gnaw at him in a blink of an eye, just like the nurse once did.

When he reached the age of thirteen or fourteen, when the spring machine was launched, for some reason, he felt that his impulse was stronger than others. However, he has no way to develop feelings for real people, and his attention shifts to the girl's obscene clothes.

It is better to wear a dirty garment, which is soft and silky like a girl, but it will not come to tear, entangle and gnaw at him.

He tried his best to hide his secret, but in the end his father found out. How could his father, who had always been self-conscious and solemn, tolerate him like this? Whipped him with a whip in anger.

He was frightened and ashamed, feeling that he had failed his father's expectations. But in a deeper place, there was a more secret self, laughing heartily in his father's anger, as if to say, "You can finally taste a little bit of the pain I tasted." Look at what I'm like! You're just starting to see me now, it's too late! ”

So Zhang Weizhao said that he did not deliberately conceal it, and he did not deny it.

The past stirred in his heart, and he sat opposite Zhang Weizhao and didn't speak for a long time.

Zhang Weizhao didn't speak.

There was silence inside. But this kind of quietness did not embarrass Zhou Rong, he had a feeling that he was being accompanied.

"Am I very sick?" After a while, he said sullenly.

"What I see is that you're working on yourself."

"Isn't it a repeat offense, a broken jar?" Zhou Rong smiled bitterly at himself.

"People who break jars and break them don't ask for help from the healer."

"Then I can't," Zhou Rong raised his head and looked at Zhang Weizhao earnestly: "Shake your hand." After saying this, he immediately explained further: "Don't be angry! I don't mean anything else. I've never shaken a girl's hand, I, I, I'm actually quite scared of touching a woman. However, I am not afraid of you, I feel that you are different from all other people. I just want to shake your hand and see what it feels like......"