"She is the original concubine of the first emperor, one year younger than the first emperor and two years older than me. It is common for harem wives and concubines to fight, but the queen treats the concubines softly and leniently. She didn't mean to do this, she was naturally soft, and she swallowed any anger in her stomach, and I hardly ever saw her speak harshly to anyone. But it is precisely because of this temperament that her body has always been bad, although the first emperor often favored her, but she never had a son and a daughter. ”

"After I entered the palace, the first emperor often invited me to accompany me, and she didn't shed tears because of this, but she never felt sorry for me. Later, I gave birth to Fengqing and the current emperor, and she was also very good to her two children. ”

"In those years, Warat frequently violated my Dayan border. The first emperor was young and vigorous, and after listening to the villain's bewitchment, he decided to drive the expedition in person. At that time, Empress Dowager Sun and Empress Qian tried to persuade the first emperor to no avail, so they had to let him go. Before the first emperor left, he made the current crown prince, and entrusted his brother to be the prisoner of the country. You already know what happened next. ”

"The first emperor was captured by Wara, and Empress Qian's brother and younger brother were also martyred in this battle. When Empress Qian heard the news, she immediately took out all her belongings and jewelry, handed them to the Empress Dowager Sun, and asked the Empress Dowager to redeem the emperor. When she learned that she could not immediately welcome the first emperor back to the court, and that Empress Dowager Sun was going to set up a new emperor, she wept day and night. She swore to heaven that she was willing to exchange her life for the safe return of the first emperor. From then on, she began to eat vegetarian food, wore vegetarian clothes, did not light a fire, and burned incense in the palace all night to pray to the heavens, even on winter nights when the water was dripping into ice. When she was tired of bowing, she lay down on the ground, woke up, and bowed. In less than a year, one of her legs was lame. Because the tears did not stop, and one eye was blind. ”

Zhang Weizhao listened to it and showed an unusually solemn look. Empress Dowager Liu saw it and asked:

"Do you think she's amazing?"

Zhang Weizhao shook his head slowly: "I don't think she's very remarkable. I think that a battle caused her to die two siblings and almost lose her husband. She must be very, very anxious, so anxious that she can only use this way of self-harm, letting the physical pain overpower the mental pain. ”

It was the first time that Empress Dowager Liu heard someone explain the deeds of the Qian family in this way, and she was silent for a while before she asked again: "If you were her, would you do this?" ”

"I'm sure I won't!"

"Why wouldn't you do that?"

"There are many ways to bear the pain. I'm not optimistic about self-harm. ”

"I didn't do it either...... Empress Dowager Liu said word by word, "although some of the concubines at that time imitated Queen Qian." But I didn't. Because, I am a mother. I have children and daughters, and if I am crippled and die, how will my children live? So instead of praying night and night, I tried to take my children with me, to have food to eat, meat to eat, to dress as warmly as I could, and to grow more meat, so that even if one day suddenly I had no food to eat or clothes to wear, I could live for ten more days and half a month, and maybe I would be able to survive without dying. When Empress Dowager Liu said this, she suddenly burst into tears.

To be honest, when Zhang Weizhao just heard Qian praying to the sky every night, kneeling and crying to make himself disabled, he was only shocked, but he was not very moved. And when I heard Liu say that he was in adversity and tried his best to survive with his two children, he was really moved.

She took a handkerchief and handed it to Empress Dowager Liu.

"If I were you, I'd do the same!"

"What do you think I'm good with?" Empress Dowager Liu asked in a self-deprecating tone while wiping away tears.

"Yes! In my opinion, when winter comes, it is necessary to save your life and try to stay healthy to have hope. This kind of preservation is actually much more difficult than self-blame and self-harm! ”

Zhang Weizhao did not praise the success and greatness of Empress Dowager Liu as a mother, nor did he say things like "You had no choice but at that time". But Empress Dowager Liu could feel that Zhang Weizhao was sincerely agreeing with her approach.

"However, the first emperor didn't see it that way......" Empress Dowager Liu sighed long. He felt that his mother, the Empress Dowager Sun, had given up on him, the courtiers had given up on him, his brothers had betrayed him, and the others had changed to an emperor, and they would shout long live as before, and only Empress Qian regarded him as heaven and life, and was the one who would not give up on him no matter what......"

If in modern times, if a female friend tells Zhang Weizhao such a story, she will say, then let these two tragic male and female protagonists make a couple, this is the plot of their lives. And you have your life plot and don't have to get entangled with them. Keep them alive in their plot, and you will be resilient in yours.

However, Empress Dowager Liu's life is destined to be tightly tied to the first emperor, and she has no other choice. Therefore, Zhang Weizhao was speechless for a while.

Empress Dowager Liu continued:

"Before the first emperor set out to conquer Warat, he felt that Queen Qian's endowment was weak and she was very reluctant to assume the responsibilities of the queen, and he was slightly dissatisfied. After he returned to the court, he was grateful for Queen Qian's deep affection and loved her to the point of ten. At that time, the first emperor was crowned with the title of emperor and imprisoned in Nangong. Empress Qian and several of our high-ranking concubines entered the South Palace to accompany the first emperor. Nangong's life is very hard, so there are a lot of things that are jealous. Nangong lacked food and clothing, so the women did needlework and secretly asked the little eunuch to sell it in exchange for food and cloth. Among the concubines, I counted how fast and good my needlework was. I carved out another piece of land in the backyard and planted vegetables for the emperor to eat. The first emperor praised me many times, saying that what would I do without you? But when I finally got a chicken and a basket of eggs, and when I was ready to serve them to the first emperor, the first emperor always had to give some to the Qian family first. It was only when I was pregnant that the Emperor remembered to leave some for me. Empress Dowager Liu said and laughed, but tears flowed down the corners of her eyes.

After that, the first emperor re-ascended the throne, and Queen Qian put on the phoenix crown again. Some of the ministers said that there had never been a queen who was blind and lame, and it was suggested that another person with sound health and dignified appearance should be appointed as the queen. The first emperor was furious and rebuked the courtiers. At the same time, he reprimanded me, asking me to keep to myself and read women's virtues well. He thought that I was instigating the courtiers to abolish it, and that I wanted to be the queen. After experiencing those years in Nangong together, I just want everyone to live well, how could they just go out of Nangong and do such a thing? I had always been quick-tempered, and he refused to see me, so I took advantage of his time in the Queen's Palace to break in and defend myself. He and Queen Qian said that they believed me and knew that I had suffered innocently. ”

"I thought it would be good to clear up the misunderstanding. He never fully trusted me, and he didn't want to see me when he was dying, and he wouldn't let me be buried by his side when I died......"

"From beginning to end, there was only Queen Qian in his heart...... "Empress Dowager Liu was infinitely sentimental.

"I'm not trying to compete with Queen Qian. I just want to know, what do I count in his heart? Is it just a fertile woman? This is the lifelong knot of Empress Dowager Liu. If he wants to place his mausoleum near the emperor's mausoleum, he is not willing to be the woman he uses to give birth to children, but to make him admit that she is his important person, even if she is not a wife, she is also an important family member!

After listening to the story of the Empress Dowager Liu, Zhang Weizhao can fully understand why the Empress Dowager Liu is so difficult to untie the knot in this matter. Because the first emperor's actions before his death completely subverted the life beliefs of the Empress Dowager Liu. She lived and died with him, bore children for him, and she felt that her hard work and hard work were worth it, because she did everything she could for her husband, her king. However, this husband and the emperor, on his deathbed, only regarded her as an outsider. He only values her fertility value, but ignores this person and the sincerity this person gives him.

However, is he really so fond of Queen Qian?

Zhang Weizhao asked the Empress Dowager Liu: "The Empress Dowager forgives her sins, I want to ask, when you were in Nangong, in addition to you giving birth to King Chong, did any other concubines have children?" ”

"There is also a prince, and two princesses were born. But except for Princess Yixing, the other two children did not survive. ”

"After the first emperor returned to the throne, are there any new concubines in the palace? Did they have children? ”

"Yes. There are also princes and princesses born. "It's not just the newcomers, there are two who have been particularly favored.

"If you are the queen of Qian, your brother followed her husband on the expedition and died in defeat. You did everything for your captive husband, crying and praying night and night, crippled one leg and blinded one eye, and this husband came back later, and you were imprisoned and suffered with him, and he kept having children with other women while saying that he was really in love with you. After he recovers, he continues to recruit new people and give birth to more children, will you feel that you have met a lover in this life, you are satisfied, and you have no regrets in this life? ”

When Empress Dowager Liu heard this, she felt that every sentence pierced her heart, and she couldn't say anything for a while. In fact, even when the first emperor regained the throne and respected the Qian family as the queen, Queen Qian often had a worried and heavy face. At that time, Empress Dowager Liu always felt that the Qian family was very good at behaving coyly, and because her appearance was no longer good, she pretended to be pitiful and begged the first emperor to pity.

Now think about it, if you are yourself, dragging a half-crippled body in such a situation, being a childless and daughterless queen, and watching the emperor favor newcomers every day, I am afraid I will not be happy.

The first emperor rarely stayed in the queen's palace, and often went to see her during the day, dined together, comforted a few words, and left in a hurry. The things used by the queen are all good, and there are many people who serve. But because there are no children, the daily palace is quiet and deserted. There are many people who praise the queen's virtue, but very few people can understand her loneliness.