In the evening, after dinner, Chen Youcong and Zhang Weizhao took a walk in the imperial garden. Neither of them liked to get too close to the people they were waiting for, so Shi Yan and Feng Hao only followed from a distance.

It was nearly half a month and a half, and the moon had just risen to the horizon, and it looked large and round, with a pale yellow tinge, and the dark part of it was clearly visible.

Zhang Weizhao couldn't help but sigh: "The moon is like a big piece of round cheese!" ”

She studied medicine, she didn't have any feelings about poetry and songs, and she couldn't think of any lingering words when she saw the beautiful scenery, and only used the most straightforward metaphors.

Chen Youcong wondered: "What is cheese?" ”

Zhang Weizhao suddenly got stuck, and she remembered that there was no kind of cheese that she would see in later lives in this era, only a kind of food similar to cheese called crisp cheese, which was slowly steamed with fresh milk and rock sugar over low heat, and sometimes some rose sauce or almonds were added.

She said vaguely: "Actually, it's similar to crisp cheese, it's called cheese in my hometown." ”

Chen Youcong thought it was strange, because the cheese was pure white, and the current moon obviously had a hazy yellow, which did not look similar.

The two have been together for a long time, and Chen Youcong found that Zhang Weizhao often said some unfamiliar nouns, or words that he didn't understand very well, and it didn't sound weird, but he didn't understand what those words meant when they were combined.

In fact, before getting married, there was also such a situation. Every time he came to this time, Chen Youcong felt a sense of powerlessness, as if no matter how he approached Zhang Weizhao, he was always separated from her.

In the past, he always thought that this was because there were too many artificial barriers between them, and as long as he worked hard enough, they would eventually be able to overcome all obstacles, be close and have a common heart.

Now that he has finally gotten his wish, the two are indeed close and have the same heart. Chen Youcong likes this state very much. For so many years, he seemed to have lived a noble life in the Forbidden City, but in fact he was extremely lonely and full of dangers.

And the arrival of Zhang Weizhao made his life full and fulfilling. Especially after a busy day, the moments when the two of them put down the bed tent, their skin was close to each other, and hugged each other, made Chen Youcong feel that he was almost melting in this intense happiness, so happy that he almost felt guilty. Because in this Forbidden City, there are too many sorrows and misfortunes, but how fortunate he is to be able to sleep with his beloved every day.

However, in this strong sense of well-being, there is always some uneasiness. Because even if he hugged Zhang Weizhao tightly in his arms every night, he still felt that there was always something in Zhang Weizhao that was beyond his reach. It seems that a part of her is stored in a mysterious realm, and this realm is something that Chen Youcong will never be able to enter.

Now Zhang Weizhao suddenly used cheese to describe the moon again, this thing is very unfamiliar to Chen Youcong, but Zhang Weizhao's tone when he talks about it seems to be extremely familiar, with some imperceptible melancholy and nostalgia. This kind of melancholy may not have been noticed by Zhang Weizhao himself, but Chen Youcong was so concerned about Zhang Weizhao that he immediately captured it keenly.

It's just an unfamiliar word, representing something that Chen Youcong has never seen, which doesn't seem to be a big deal. But this incident is not isolated, but forms a snare with many similar incidents, which sometimes strangled Chen Youcong a little breathlessly.

The two of them were walking side by side, but Chen Youcong suddenly stretched out his hand at this time and held Zhang Weizhao's hand tightly. It was as if if she hadn't been held back in this way, she would have suddenly disappeared without a trace.

Zhang Weizhao also held Chen Youcong back.

Feeling Zhang Weizhao's response, Chen Youcong secretly breathed a sigh of relief, and felt a lot more at ease.

"Is the cheese in your hometown the same way as the pastry?" Chen Youcong asked.

Zhang Weizhao feels that Chen Youcong is particularly obsessed with cheese today. She thought for a moment and replied:

"It's kind of like tofu made with milk. It is usually salty and not made as sweet as in the palace. The puff pastry in the palace is softer and smoother, so it should be eaten with a spoon. Cheese can be cut into chunks for easy carrying. ”

"Isn't it the milk tofu that Mongolians eat?" Chen Youcong asked.

"It should be." Zhang Weizhao said with a smile.

Chen Youcong was relieved. Because Zhang Weizhao said in her early years that her hometown is in the northwest, Chen Youcong feels that it is not unusual to come into contact with the milk tofu often eaten by nomads in the northwest. It's just that recently, I haven't heard Zhang Weizhao mention her hometown anymore.

"What state or town is your home in? Do you want to quietly ask someone to find out who else is in the house? Chen Youcong asked softly.

Zhang Weizhao let go of the hand he was holding with Chen Youcong, looked at the moon, sighed faintly, and said, "No need." If you can't find it, don't bother......"

The tone is flat. But for some reason, Chen Youcong was very sad to hear it. He began to regret why he brought up the topic. I just wanted to find something happy to make up for it, but I heard Zhang Weizhao say:

"I'm a little tired of walking, let's go back."

"Good!" Chen Youcong responded.

In fact, Chen Youcong knew that Zhang Weizhao had good physical strength and would not feel tired at all because of walking this path, but he didn't try to expose her.

When he was about to walk out of the imperial garden, Zhang Weizhao suddenly said: "Tomorrow I want to go to the Feixian Palace Medicine Depot to sort out the medicinal materials, so I won't accompany you to the court, okay?" "Zhang Weizhao still has a lot of things in the Flying Immortal Palace, which is like her other courtyard.

Chen Youcong's footsteps stopped: "Did someone tell you something?" ”

Zhang Wei Zhaoqi said: "What do you want to tell me?" ”

Chen Youcong smiled: "Nothing. ”

If it weren't for someone who "advised" her and told her that the emperor and queen should respect each other like a guest, and it was not suitable to be like an ordinary child, it was because she mentioned her hometown and touched her sorrow, so she suddenly wanted to find a chance to be alone, right?

Chen Youcong held Zhang Weizhao's hand tightly, and the two of them walked back to the Yixian Hall in silence.

That night, they still hugged each other and slept together, but Chen Youcong's heart was no longer pure overflowing happiness, but a little pain for no reason.

He knew that there were times when his needs for Zhang Weizhao were almost greedy. Moreover, he also felt that Zhang Weizhao had the same needs for him. However, now she said that she wanted to go to the Flying Immortal Palace for a day and come back at dinner.

Chen Youcong thinks it's going to be a long day.

The next day, Zhang Weizhao really did not follow Chen Youcong to the court, but returned to Feixian Palace with Shi Yan and Du Zhong.

When Chen Youcong went to the early court, the courtiers couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief when they saw that the queen's sedan chair did not follow the emperor's chariot.

But Chen Youcong is obviously much more serious today than usual, and his face has always been flat. When I had lunch alone, I was sloppy and ate very little.

Zhang Weizhao only ate a little bit at lunch in Feixian Palace.

Chen Youcong's guess was right, and his questions about cheese and family did touch Zhang Weizhao's nostalgia. In fact, Zhang Weizhao's nostalgia has always been there, every once in a while, Zhang Weizhao will recall his past life with melancholy, and sometimes this melancholy will be extremely strong.

But this usually does not affect Zhang's work. When he was still living in Feixian Palace, Zhang Weizhao had independent time and space to deal with his emotions, and then he was able to take on the work of "medical heart" with a stable mind.

Yes, psychiatrists are also flesh and blood and will also have their own complexes and emotions. In fact, the premise of becoming a psychiatrist is to learn to deal with your own complexes and emotions, and use this experience to help others. In a popular phrase among psychiatrists, it is to "cultivate yourself".

The idea that psychiatrists should be as loving and selfless as gods is just a naïve fantasy.

Zhang Weizhao's way of dealing with his "nostalgia" is not to find a way to dispel it, but to embrace its existence and let it coexist with himself.

She needed this kind of "nostalgia" because she didn't want to forget where she came from, the basic tenets of being a human being that she had in that life, and the healing techniques that she had learned with a lot of effort and time.

These things are an important part of who she is. And only by keeping these parts will she not get lost in the flood of time.

Before this, it was out of her insistence on herself that she was able to have the strength to confront the death threats issued by Jin Ling'er and keep a distance from Chen Jianjun's emotions of resisting death.

And now, she is also out of self-insistence, so that she will not get lost in the emperor's "favor" and the accompanying prominence and wealth.

Only in this way can she confirm that her encounter with Chen Youcong is an encounter between two pure souls, not a flattery on one side and a gift on the other. The former is the relationship between two equal people, while the latter is the relationship between a slave and a master.

However, now Zhang Weizhao has encountered a problem. is that she doesn't know how to deal with her "nostalgia" and the relationship with Chen Youcong.

She bears many of the marks she had brought from her past lives, and she herself had no intention of abandoning them. In the past, when she met other people to ask, including Zhang Rongkun, the Queen Mother and Chen Jianjun, she could say that she learned it in her hometown, so the topic could basically be stopped.

But when facing Chen Youcong, the two are too close, and Chen Youcong is a particularly sensitive person. He was already aware of what she was hiding from him, and it was already starting to hurt him.

As a modern person, Zhang Weizhao can easily say that even intimate partners can have their own independent space and retain their own privacy.

However, what she actually feels is that every time she lies because she wants to hide it from him, she feels depressed and painful, because she can't be honest with her loved ones, and she can't let the other party see the most real and core part of herself, which is equivalent to hiding herself in the dark.

And Chen Youcong will also feel pain, because this kind of hiding is far away and rejection for him.