It's just that some things are not what I want, and I just expressed to Nan that I wanted to go to Gu Wanwan, but he refused.

The reason is that he has already made an appointment with a psychiatrist, just today.

I wanted to refuse, but thinking that I would go crazy from time to time, I obediently followed Shi to the south.

It is said that he is the best and most famous psychologist in Shanghai, without you talking, standing there and your every move, he can easily analyze your condition, so I really feel a little drumming in my heart.

I am most afraid of seeing such people, I always feel like I have been stripped naked in front of them, and I am seen through by others, and there is no dignity at all.

If I hadn't promised to go south when I came back, I wouldn't want to deal with such a person, which makes people feel terrible.

I thought that there would be very few people with mental illness, but when I came to the medical center, the door of this specialist's room alone was full of patients.

I thought that I would have to stay up all morning in line like this, but as soon as my butt touched the seat, I saw a woman who looked like an assistant come over and led us directly into the consultation room very enthusiastically.

Also, I really lived on an isolated island for too long, forgetting that this is a society of rich people, and there is no need to worry about queuing and the like here at all, so Shi Xiangnan pulled me to sit in front of the doctor.

I thought that the person who could be called a psychologist must at least be an old man, but it turned out to be a young ruffian, a handsome creamy little student.

I've never had a good impression of such people, and I always felt unmasculine and insecure.

I was secretly sighing in my heart, and I heard the doctor say hello: "Mrs. Shi, you are finally here, don't be nervous today, let's take it easy, my name is Chen Mo." ”

What made me even more unimpressed by this person was that while he was talking to me, he kept turning the pen in his hand, and the faster and faster he turned, and I immediately felt irritated when I saw it.

Probably I didn't control this emotion, but wrinkled my brows, kept looking out the window, and even breathed faster with irritability.

He didn't pay any attention to my emotions, where is there such a person who can do the position of an expert, I really want to ask Shi Xiangnan where he found the quack doctor, and those people around outside, I immediately concluded in my heart that those people are trust, naked medical trust.

I was already irritable, but Dr. Chen took out a drawing full of colorful colors from the drawer, and asked me to draw it casually with colored pens.

After a simple two-stroke stroke, he drew two lines on the paper angrily and then threw the pen aside.

I grabbed Xiang Nan's hand with a calm face and turned his head and said: "Come with me, what kind of broken doctor is this, obviously he is here to see a doctor, but he is inexplicably not respected, and I can't bear to turn the pen here at will." ”

Shi Xiangnan frowned a little and grabbed my arm: "Anning, calm down, calm down." ”

I glanced at the doctor, and was about to sit back to give Shi Xiangnan's face, but I heard Dr. Chen say: "Mrs. Shi, your anxiety disorder is a bit serious, I hope you can receive good treatment, otherwise the disease will affect your normal life, I am not alarmist, you must face it, otherwise you will not get peace, you can only live in pain forever." ”

When Dr. Chen said this, I saw a worried look on the face of someone next to me, but I asked Xiang Nan suspiciously: "Did you tell Dr. Chen in advance that I have anxiety disorder?" ”

He didn't let go of my hand at all, but shook his head and said, "No." ”

I had to sit back next to someone, and I was able to continue to be seen by Dr. Chan because he explained my condition, and at the moment I seemed to have no choice but to accept the psychiatrist's advice.

Later, I talked a lot with Dr. Chen in front of Shi Xiangnan, talking about my normal life in the past three years, how a person lives on an isolated island, how I spend the days without company, and told him that I haven't said a word for a month at the longest, and even in my mind, I often have the feeling of being thrown on the island at the beginning without anyone panicking, and at the worst time, I was so scared that I trembled in the face of the night.

I've been filled with irritability all the time, and I seem to have forgotten what peace is.

At that time, I often had hallucinations that pain was the norm of life, so I started to avoid problems often.

I even thought about ending my life by committing suicide, but I still ran away, I didn't want to die, and I even avoided death.

I relived the pain in my memories, and I didn't want to be scared forever, after all, there were people around me waiting for me to love.

During the whole conversation, Shi Xiangnan was like a listener.

There were a few times when I wanted to stop talking, and he tried to interrupt me, apparently trying to hug me, but Dr. Chan refused with a gesture.

I glanced at him from time to time, and found that he looked like he had heard something painful, and his expression was very ugly, but I could clearly see that his eyes were a little red, and then he looked up and sighed deeply.

Is it distressed?

Yes, he loves me, so naturally he can't listen to these words.

Shi Xiangnan has been sitting there, obviously already sitting on pins and needles, even though I think his heart is already turbulent, but he can still pretend to be calm.

So after saying this, I shook his hand and asked Dr. Chen, "Is there any cure for my condition?" ”

Dr. Chen put down the pen in his hand, leaned back in his chair, and said to me with a smile: "It's still under control, Mrs. Shi, you have a heart disease, what have you often thought about in your heart in those three years, let go of this inner demon, and your illness will be better by more than half." ”

After speaking, he didn't forget to glance at Shi Xiangnan: "Mr. Shi, probably only you can help her get rid of this demon slowly, and all I can do is to guide her." ”

When I came out of the clinic, Dr. Chen prescribed me several medications, told me to take them on time, and to keep eating, and during this year, I would come to the clinic every two weeks, and he would help me with psychological diagnosis and treatment, as well as hypnosis, hoping to help me dredge up my depression in this way of decompression.

During the morning in the clinic, I suddenly felt a lot more relaxed, because I said a lot today, and probably I didn't say as much as I said in the past three years.

I suddenly felt that the depression in my heart seemed to have found an outlet, and it suddenly became clear that I was no longer as clogged as before, and I always wanted to go crazy.

On the way back, Fu Chen drove over to pick us up as usual, but I wanted to take a walk, so I simply walked south in the direction of my home.

Not far away, I caught a glimpse of Fu Chen driving a car slowly following on the side of the road, and I had no choice but to smile.

At this time, the person next to me stretched out his hand to me: "Come here, I'll lead you away, so that I won't lose you." ”

I looked at him, but I still pursed the corners of my lips and said indignantly: "Okay, I believe you for the time being, if you lose me again next time, I will never come back." ”

It's been a long time since Gu has walked with him, so I cherish this opportunity.

I reached out and walked beside him.

But his mood was not very high, and I think it was in the consultation room that the content of my chat with Dr. Chen made him a little uncomfortable.

"What's wrong, you're in a bad mood?" I looked at my feet and asked him softly.

Shi Xiangnan turned around and stood looking at me when he heard this, and then said slowly in a low voice: "I didn't think that you were living like that, I should have found you earlier and brought you back earlier." ”

His tone was full of infinite self-reproach, and I certainly understood that he didn't want to do that.

He subconsciously tightened my hand, and I could even feel the sweat in his hand.

"When I hear the scene you describe, even if I haven't experienced it, I feel dark and terrible, and I feel distressed when a woman walks through that environment."

He said that he felt sorry for me, but he looked like this, and I was very distressed, so I approached his chest and sighed softly: "Since that wicked man is dead and has received the punishment he deserves, so the two of us should also treat each other well, the past things are over, and I am back safe, I hope that the future life can be smooth, there will be no more waves, we will take Mia to live a good life, if we are fortunate to have a child, maybe it is God's kindness to us." ”

I don't want to know how Shi Heyang died, I asked him that night Shi Xiangnan found me, and he said he didn't know, it was an accidental explosion.

When he said it, his expression was still faintly gloomy, and I knew it must have something to do with him.

Since Shi Xiangnan can do this seamlessly, he will not admit it whether he lives or dies.

So he didn't want to say it, so I didn't ask, it doesn't matter to me who did it or how he did it.

As for the one I said later about being lucky that we had a child, it wasn't going to happen, but it's better to have hope than not to have hope.

Shi Xiangnan listened to my words and smiled, I don't know what this laugh means, do you think that what I said about having a child can't be realized?

Really, even if you can't do it, don't laugh at others like that.

Forget it, I don't care about it, and now I really see everything a lot less.

I gently pushed him away, and just as I was about to continue walking, he kissed me on the forehead and said firmly, "Okay, I will never let you be hurt in the slightest bit, and we will never be separated." ”

On the way back, he held my arm tightly, as if I was going to disappear.

In the past, when I looked up, the sky was always gray, but now my eyes are full of dazzling sunlight.