My brain went blank and I couldn't breathe.

It was the first time I had kissed in the real sense of the word, but I was so nervous that I couldn't feel what it was like.

The only strong feeling is that my whole body is weak, my hands and feet are numb, and my heart is full of tension.

And Shen Jingyun's kiss to me only touched my lips lightly, which came suddenly and ended quickly.

When his lips left me and the warm breath hit my face, I didn't even dare to look up at him.

"Lin Xiaoshuang, I think you should change your name to Lin Xiaomu." Shen Jingyun's tone was full of ridicule.

What the? Shouldn't you say something warm after kissing? Why such inexplicable words? I immediately had a feeling of being taken advantage of, looked up at Shen Jingyun "viciously", and said, "You make it clear, why do I want to call Lin Xiaomu?" ”

Shen Jingyun smiled and said, "How can a girl of your age be kissed, like you?" The whole body stiffened, the fists were clenched, and the body was still shaking. I'm afraid that if you kiss again, you will have muscle cramps! This performance is worse than wood, isn't it good to call Lin Xiaomu? ”

This tone is ridiculous, and this joke is not funny, but Shen Jingyun's intimacy with me has never been before, just like the way he looks at me now, extremely gentle, just like the spring water in March, there is an indescribable feeling flowing in the sparkling waves.

My face was hot all of a sudden, I must have blushed to the root of my ears, and I didn't dare to look at Shen Jingyun, but I muttered in a low voice: "Did you kiss for the first time and behave very well?" ”

Shen Jingyun originally planned to drive, but when he heard me say this, he was suddenly stunned: "Lin Xiaoshuang, how ugly are you?" Kissing for the first time at this age?! ”

I was full of anger stimulated by Shen Jingyun's words, and couldn't help but punch him a few times, and said, "It's not like that at all, there are still people chasing me." It's just that... It's just..."

Shen Jingyun had already started the car easily, and answered: "It's just that you can't even look down on it, right?" ”

I shook my head lightly and said, "No, I've always wanted to have a home." Life is also very hard, and if you want to find someone who can make people feel at ease and down-to-earth, you can rely on it to live your life. I never had the luxury of love, there was the best, and I didn't get along like relatives. I've also talked to a few people who seem to be a good fit. It's just that I seem to be cursed, and the people who are in love with me will always not last long, and will be separated for all sorts of and even unbelievable reasons. ”

My tone was quite calm, I was used to this kind of unfortunate thing.

"So?" Shen Jingyun didn't seem to be much surprised.

"Yes, in fact, I don't have to fall in love at this age, even if I long for a shoulder to lean on, but it can be a little later. It's just that I once received a letter when I was in college. "I began to tell Shen Jingyun about the past, and after a gentle kiss, I felt that my relationship with him was a lot more intimate.

But what are we now? Friend? Do friends have such intimate actions? Definitely not.

Is that in a relationship? However, Shen Jingyun has never said anything clearly except for asking me not to leave him, do you want me to ask a question? I'm a girl after all, even if I'm not reserved, I can't ask this kind of thing. And, even if you ask, what do you have to ask? Could it be that Shen Jingyun asked, what is the relationship between us now?

Thinking of this, my heart is a little confused.

Suddenly found that even if it was as easy to get along as before, wouldn't it be a good thing? What I don't want to admit is that the name Lin Ruolan is like a mountain pressing on my heart, so I don't dare to expect Shen Jingyun's feelings for me, because no matter what detail I look at, I can feel that Shen Jingyun is full of affection for Lin Ruolan.

Well, I can't take this kiss too seriously.

My heart was full of loss, but Shen Jingyun didn't seem to be affected at all, but was a little interested in the letter, and asked me while driving, "What letter?" What was written to make you fall in love with a big stimulus? Could it be a love letter of affection? ”

"No, it's a letter from someone I don't know. It feels like a classical Chinese read, and I probably understand the meaning, anyway, it means that my life is not good, my life is twists and turns, it is easy to provoke some unclean things, and it is easy to die early. The most hateful thing is that I can't fall in love easily, and when I fall in love, it's like a mirror, and I can't catch it anyway. "When I think of that letter, I feel aggrieved in my heart, why didn't I have a good word.

"So, you weren't convinced, and you deliberately fell in love?" Shen Jingyun is really smart.

"Yes, it turned out to be the letter." I said helplessly, but I was thinking in my heart, what about me and Shen Jingyun? Does it count as a relationship? After all, there are some unwilling... Suddenly, when it came to that letter, I thought it was a good thing not to fall in love, at least I was like this with him, and I didn't have to be separated.

"Actually, I'm curious about who wrote that letter, but the content of the letter is not nonsense, your life is pure yin life, I don't know which of the pure yin lives it is. A person with such a destiny has a really bumpy life, anyway, compared to ordinary people, it is definitely not smooth. As for love, this is the first time I've heard of it. But I'm not surprised. Shen Jingyun explained the reason for his bland reaction.

"Hmm." I nodded, in fact, I didn't want to dwell on this issue anymore, I began to worry that in the future, Shen Jingyun's loss of power would also mean that I would be unemployed. I can't bear to have a young master like Shen Jingyun go to work, even if he is willing, maybe those people in the Shen family will use their influence to make things difficult for him.

Even if it wasn't difficult, he used to be a person with a head and face in the circle, and suddenly went to work in someone else's company... I can't imagine that scene.

So, is it up to me? Suddenly my heart was strengthened, why should I rely on me? Looking at Shen Jingyun's relaxed appearance now, I guess he doesn't know the difficulties of life, right?

Just when I was thinking about these very real questions, Shen Jingyun suddenly called me softly: "Lin Xiaoshuang." ”

"Huh?" Shen Jingyun had never called me so softly, I don't know why, hearing him call my name like this, a faint uneasiness swelled in my heart.

"Actually, I'm sorry just now." Shen Jingyun hesitated for a moment and said something like this to me.

At this time, he looked ahead, I couldn't see his expression clearly, what did I mean just now, I naturally knew it in my heart, even before I thought about this question, and found a lot of reasons to persuade myself not to take it to heart, and I didn't ask what my relationship with him was, but at this time, he said it himself, I still didn't have a sour nose, and my eyes began to redden.

I quickly turned my head, pretended to look out the window relaxedly, and said indifferently: "I didn't let you be responsible, what do you apologize for?" Everyone is an adult, just kiss it, and don't you do anything? And this society, what has it done ...."

A whole bunch of pretended dashing words came out of my mouth, but in fact it was just for my poor self-esteem.

I began to rejoice, I didn't ask Shen Jingyun much before, otherwise, wouldn't I be embarrassed and thrown to the Pacific Ocean? Is the whole than lower than dust?

Shen Jingyun interrupted me all of a sudden and said, "Lin Xiaoshuang, it's not what you think!" I'm not the kind of casual person, and even if I were asked to indulge, I would definitely make it clear beforehand that it was indulgence. You haven't been with me for a long time, but after getting along day and night, I have to admit that I am very used to your presence, and I am even afraid that you will leave. My heart is not without your place, even you are important. ”

I listened, took advantage of Shen Jingyun's inattention, wiped a handful of tears that slipped from my eyes, and then said in an open-minded tone: "You are the same in my heart." ”

"I'm glad you can say that. Lin Xiaoshuang, I just want to explain to you, I definitely don't have that casual attitude towards you, I kissed you just now, and I was also moved by you in my heart to the point that ... In short, I'm definitely not being frivolous with you. But I don't take such behavior for granted, I just want to tell you, give me a little time, because I don't dare to say anything irresponsible to you and start an irresponsible relationship easily. Because, I'm not sure how I feel, if it's a momentary touch, it's too much... And, and—" Shen Jingyun fell silent as he spoke.

I replied easily: "You don't have to be so entangled just because you kissed me, and I know that you still have someone else in mind, don't you?" ”

My attitude is so relaxed, but when I say this, my heart is like a knife.

There are always all kinds of Shen Jingyun in front of me, Shen Jingyun who is worried about me, Shen Jingyun who is gentle with me, Shen Jingyun who seems to be indifferent but silently pays attention to my request... Everything, in short, is his charity, or the thoughtfulness that he does not hesitate to give me, it is not painful for him.

Perhaps, it shouldn't be said that, it should be said that he doesn't alike treating me like this, but if it comes to the name Lin Ruolan, everything is not worth mentioning.

My hands were in the pockets of my coat, and I held them very tightly, and my palms hurt from the piercing of my nails, but in this way, I could resist the deep pain and keep me from losing my temper.

But after I said this, Shen Jingyun became more relaxed, and he said to me, "Thank you for understanding me." Lin Xiaoshuang, no matter who she is, can't start a relationship with another person at random when she still has someone else in her heart. I can't do it to you, that's what really hurts you. ”

"I understand. You're really, why do you keep talking about this over and over again. It's also thanks to you, otherwise I haven't kissed at the age of 23, it's too embarrassing. The object is you, a rich and handsome, I can also brag about it. I joked loudly.

Shen Jingyun also smiled: ", where am I rich now?" ”

All of a sudden, the atmosphere became lighter again, and what had just happened was as if nothing had happened.

Just when I was about to get home, Shen Jingyun suddenly said to me: "Lin Xiaoshuang, you are so good." We have to get along so easily all the time, and we can be the best in our lives. I've never dared to think about what life would be like without you. ”