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After reading this letter, my heart is complicated.

Suddenly I didn't know what I wanted, and I didn't know how to face my heart and my brother. I feel like someone I have liked for many years, but I have never thought about how we will be together after he comes out, and how we will live together if we are really together.

Perhaps, as my brother said, I have been used to writing to him regularly for so many years, and I think of him from time to time, and the real person in my life is the third brother.

The first time I started to hesitate, the first time I understood the choice they were talking about. The heart that categorically said that there was no need to choose is now beginning to waver.

I leaned against the floor-to-ceiling glass window and looked out.

The sky in my hometown is beautiful, and when there is no sandstorm, it is always blue and clear. There are not many clouds, just like the paintings, floating at random. I don't know if the cloud has a heart, whether such a random drift is in line with its heart, and whether it is happy if it is so scattered with the wind. No matter where you go, you will get what you want.

Maybe I could have chosen before, but after this morning, I don't have the right to choose. Or perhaps, I also like my brother, and I made such a decision in my own heart.

I'm starting to hate the feeling of being like this, and I hate myself like this. I can't figure out anything, everything is pale and weak.

Suddenly, I wanted to be like Wukong, go to the Bodhisattva and ask the Bodhisattva, why is this, what should I do?

I sat on a plush carpet on the window floor in my study, notebook in hand. My heart has never been so pale and weak, so I simply put my head on the ground, and after a while, I fell asleep in such a daze.

I don't know how long it took, but I felt someone hugging me, and a spirit got up, just hit my brother's head on the head, and almost died of pain.

"Ahh It hurts me to death," he said, covering his head.

Raised his head and looked at his brother, "How did you get in?" ”

"This is my house, shouldn't I have the keys to every room?"

"Oh,, it hurts."

My brother helped me rub my head.

"Aren't you hurting?"

"Why did you sleep on the ground" he saw the notebook in my arms, "See? ”

I looked down at the notebook in my hand, "Well, brother, sit down, I want to talk to you." ”

My brother sat cross-legged across from me like this.

"What do you want to ask?"

Actually, I didn't want to ask anything, because I couldn't figure out what I was going to do next, and the person in front of me was really the person I'd been thinking about for years, or something else.

"I, I" squeaked and couldn't say.

"Whatever you want, whatever you say, I can accept whatever you say" He said this very seriously, and looked at me very seriously.

"I think the gay guy in your company is right. I shouldn't have much to do with you like this, and being with you and the third brother is a shame for you. ”

"Tell me what's embarrassing."

"You all look so noble, and I'm like Aunt Cleaner."

"Where?"

"It's like everywhere!"

"Shen Jue and I didn't feel it. Those people just look at the appearance and don't make contact with you, they don't know how kind you are. As the saying goes, knowing people and knowing faces but not knowing their hearts, this has to be said on both sides. The so-called shame on us is nothing more than thinking that you are dressed very childishly, and you are not dressed up. But Shen Jue and I like you like this. You don't need to care about any evaluation you make about people like this who only see you, because they have anything to do with you? Just seeing each other and caring about what they say, then don't those stars live. It's as if you're in a college dorm room and don't give a damn about your roommates' evening sleeper sessions. Those roommates of yours just don't have the guts to say the person being talked about to their faces, so what will they think if the person being talked about knows about it one day, and they will just give up on themselves in a depressed way? ”

That's right, these words are quite easy to understand and deeply rooted in the hearts of the people.

"That's it"

"But what?"

I flipped through my notebook and pointed to what he had written, "What if I'm really used to writing to you and talking from my heart, and it's not appropriate for us to be together?" ”

"That's just like what was written later, and Shen Jue, I will wish you and Shen Jue a happy life, if possible, I hope I can always be your brother."

"Then what if I can't be with Shen Jue?"

"Girl, do you have a favorite person?" My brother is serious.

"That's not it, I'm just thinking about what to do."

"There aren't so many ifs, ifs, you don't go through it, you won't know who you're with, you're going to be happy, you're going to be happy."

"But now I don't have the right to choose."

"Why not, aren't you very scheming and never told Shen Jue your choice?"

"Huh? Is this called scheming? It's not that I don't tell him, it's that I always think that my third brother and I are brothers. But after reading what you wrote, I was confused, and I didn't know what I liked about you. He lowered his head as he spoke.

My brother smiled and rubbed my hair, "You can choose, if you find that you like Shen Jue more, you can choose him, I don't blame you, it's understandable." ”

"But this morning we ......"

"What's wrong with us?"

I'm ashamed to say it, how can I say such a thing.

"The teacher said that the first time was to be reserved for the husband, and it should be on the wedding night. The teacher said that the former mother-in-law would also give her daughter-in-law a white cloth to test whether it was ...... Me, I saw blood on my dressing gown in the morning shower. If you don't think it's suitable for you, choose the third brother, then, that, that......"

My brother smiled and hugged me into his arms, "What a stupid girl, what age is it now, and there are still white cloth tests." You really listen to the teacher. ”

"I think the teacher is right."

My brother let go of me, "Okay, I know what you mean." I won't touch you until we get married. ”

"Before we got married? So what if we don't get married? ”

My brother slapped my head, "If I don't get married, I won't touch you, what are you thinking about?" ”

"Oh. If that's ......"

"Ouyang Xiaoxing, don't do this anymore, then yes, many things have to happen to have a solution, is it useful for you to think about it yourself? Can you figure it out? Do you think it will be realistic to assume your own hypothetical scenarios, hypothetical problems, and then use hypotheses to solve them? ”

"Wow, this one is like a tongue twister. But I understood, "The mood instantly improved."

"Brother, brother. Let me ask one last question. ”

"You say."

I leaned into my brother's ear and whispered, "If I want to kiss you, can I kiss you?" ”

As soon as the words fell, the lips were facing each other, and the brother kissed very gently, without refusal, without rejection, and enjoyed his kiss.

The kiss lasted for a long time, and after the kiss, I lay on my brother's shoulder.

The elder brother smiled and said, "Ouyang Xiaoxing, you are very cunning"

"Is there one? Do I have one? How cunning am I"

"Shen Jue is coming, go out and wait for him"

I got up and walked to the door of the room, I was just about to open the door, my brother pressed me against the door, "You love me, soon you will be able to recognize your heart." ”

Why does this person know me better than I do?