See, just one example will illustrate it.

I said, "The police are shouldering a great cause, so they must choose to sacrifice for the sake of their profession." Between Li Yu and me, there is only my own life and my own happiness. ”

Wu Jilang said: "But isn't the idea of the carp important? He's the one who cares about you the most besides your parents. He wants you to live, and he's willing to make some compromises for that, and you should understand his intentions. The reason I have said before, although this incident makes you very painful now, it will eventually pass, but people die like lights go out, and once you die, there will be nothing left. ”

I shook my head and said, "You don't understand my thoughts. ”

"You're just too angry." Wu Jilang said: "I fully understand this anger, and I also feel that if you can't get through this matter, then I support you to leave him." But you should at least understand his good intentions. ”

I shook my head and said, "I don't understand, it's selfish for me." ”

Wu Jilang was surprised: "Why do you say that? ”

I thought about it and said, "It doesn't make sense to say that, and it's just an unreasonable idea." ”

Wu Jilang looked at me and said, "I may have guessed it. ”

"Oh?" I said, "I don't believe it." ”

"Actually, you still care a lot about the carp breaking your heart, right?" Wu Jilang said: "In the past two years, you have lost everything for treatment, freedom, studies, socialization, and now even his loyalty is gone, and you have become an island." ”

yes, that's how it feels.

I'm left with nothing left, confined like an animal in the hospital.

I don't know what he's doing, where he's going, who's coming into contact with every day, and he doesn't come to see me every day, but only occasionally.

He didn't tell me about the studies he liked like he used to, even though I didn't understand them, and he didn't tell me about his favorite food, his favorite sports, even though I wasn't interested. Now he doesn't tell me a word about his work, and he hides a lot of things from me at every turn. And all the conversations I talked about with him only revolved around the soul, and I didn't even have many words for Wen Cun. I even thought he was wary of me, perhaps even unaware of it.

Actually, I don't have him anymore.

Silvia just concretizes this "nothingness".

I sighed and said, "But the reason he did that to me was because I killed him first." And not only that, but I also killed the wrong person. ”

"Killed the wrong person?" Wu Jilang asked suspiciously: "Where does this start?" ”

No one had told him about it, so I told it again, "So I have no right to care." ”

"It's one thing to have no rights, it's another thing to care a lot." Wu Jilang said: "You killed him for your parents, and he chose to kill you because you failed him, although they are all extreme, but they don't seem to be wrong." ”

I said, "Yes, so I can't blame him either." But since you chose to kill me, you don't have to force me to continue my life. ”

Wu Jilang only looked at me and stopped talking.

I was very uncomfortable with his gaze, "Why do you have such an expression?" ”

"I hope this sentence doesn't mislead you," Wu Jilang said, "I think you're very pitiful." Not sympathy, objective evaluation. ”

I asked, "How pathetic?" ”

He said: "Carp he is too naïve. If it were a mature man, things wouldn't have come to this point. ”

I said, "Mature men will only kill me, not save me." ”

"A mature man simply won't let things get to the point where you kill him." Wu Jilang sighed: "Things can develop to this point, in the final analysis, it is still because the carp ignored you too much at the beginning. ”

I said, "I can't blame him for what happened, it's all my fault." I do blame him for killing me, but I shouldn't blame him...... I ......, "Maybe my idea is not good, but I stick to my own idea," It's not that I don't know the things of the heart, and I don't have a simple misanthropy. As you said, I became an island, and not only that, I had no hope. But how am I going to live? You know where I came from, before my brother left, I did everything I could to keep him alive, and after he left, I started to take revenge, and then I started to be retaliated against, until these two years, I was lying in the hospital and became a wreck. You're not me, and you don't know how bitter this taste is. What if you change your heart? I might just live a few more years, right? Or ten years? Twenty years? That's the limit, isn't it? That's all, I can no longer do things like a normal person, I can't work, I can't exercise, I can't have children...... Maybe that heart will suddenly fail, and I'll have to endure the next silvia. Maybe not Silvia, just a nice woman. Not long ago, we had an argument over saving Fanyin, and now I think it might be because I have no heart, and he doesn't want my soul to leave my body for even a short while. But he had already expressed it at the time, he said that it took a lot of manpower and material resources to save me, and he meant that I should cherish these. But in the future, I will definitely have things I want to do, and there will be things that he doesn't agree with, such as I want to run, I want to work late into the night...... He'd definitely say the same thing. I don't want to live, I don't want to live for him, I don't want to live for him and have to carry the shackles of 'spending a lot of his effort and resources', I say it very messily, you know what I mean? ”

I rambled so much, Wu Jilang always looked at me, and then when I opened my mouth to ask, I said, "Do you think that carp doesn't love you enough?" ”

I said, "He already loves me." ”

"But you're still not at ease." He said.

"It's not that I'm not at ease, but I don't look forward to my life with him in the future." I said, "I'll tell you the truth, I don't have much to talk about with him right now." You see he is hiding everything from me, as if I exist to wait to be deceived. ”

Wu Jilang asked, "What else is he hiding from you?" ”

I said, "I don't know anything about his work. ”

Wu Jilang said: "A lot of that part is confidential, and it can only be mastered by him alone, not to mention you, even Li Nuannuan and the old gentleman don't know." ”

I said, "But I don't know the itinerary at all. ”

Wu Jilang defended: "There's no need to report the itinerary all the time, right? What's more, you need to rest most of the time. ”

I shook my head and said, "He would have reported before." ”

Wu Jilang asked: "Do you think he doesn't trust you anymore, so he won't say it?" ”

I said, "Yes." ”

Wu Jilang hurriedly said: "I can ask the carp about this matter, but I don't think it will be like this." Before, he was just an ordinary person with a special background, but now it is different, and he has begun to have a lot of responsibilities. ”

I shook my head and said, "Don't ask him. ”

"Why don't you ask? How can it be useful for you to keep your thoughts in your heart? Wu Jilang was so anxious as if it was his own business, "The reason why he didn't dare to tell you these things was that he was afraid of the current situation, you know that if you don't have a heart, you simply lose all thoughts and no longer think about the future." ”

I shook my head and said, "I've been thinking that for a long time. ”

"But not so strongly, right?" Wu Jilang insisted: "This incident has had too much impact on you, if it weren't for the fact that such a serious thing happened today, I still wouldn't dare to tell you." It comes down to me that I didn't take good care of you. ”

I looked at him and didn't speak.

Wu Jilang also showed an embarrassed expression behind the voice, and it seemed that he also realized that he had exploded his conversation.

The two of us looked at each other awkwardly like this, but Wu Jilang broke the silence first, "When you turned around and went back that day, the carp got out of the car, and he wanted to catch up with you, but he was afraid that you would be excited, so he didn't go over." I saw him standing there and hesitating, so I called him and said that I will go to you and make sure that you don't hurt yourself impulsively. ”

I asked, "Did he get me out of the police station?" ”

"It's me." Wu Jilang said: "He doesn't know about it yet, and I haven't told him yet." ”

I nodded and said, "Thank you." ”

Wu Jilang smiled awkwardly, his expression was slightly flattering, "I'm sorry, I can't really let you run here alone, the main reason I came here is because I understand your condition." ”

I nodded and asked, "Then when are you going back?" ”

Wu Jilang said: "Wait until the matter of Fanyin is over or when you figure it out for yourself, and decide to go back early." ”

I nodded and said, "I see." ”

My coldness was undisguised, Wu Jilang could obviously hear it, and he showed a sad gaze, "Jiayin, I'm sorry, I lied to you again, but it's really helpless, I hope you can understand." ”

I said, "I thought you were here out of concern for me, and then because the carp also knew, I contacted him again and told him about my situation." I didn't expect it to be for him from the beginning. ”

Wu Jilang said: "It's not for him, it's for the two of you." ”

I shook my head, feeling like I had nothing to say.

Wu Jilang is Li Ang's godson, and he and Li Yu can be called brothers, but I was stupid and chose his good brother as a friend, so of course I was asking for my own hardships.

For example, now, if it was Qinglan, she would definitely comfort me, or scold Li Yu with me, or do nothing, just accompany me, but no matter what she will do, she will never be like Wu Jilang who keeps saying good things about Li Yu on the grounds of persuasion and peace, and her words are all towards Li Yu, and real friends will not persuade me to understand him at such a time, let alone say that the pain I have caused because of this incident is "misanthropy".

It's a pity, Qinglan's life may have been saved, but she was still pinched by Li Yu, and I couldn't see her anymore.

After being relatively silent for a long time, I spoke, "Aren't you still contacting Lin Zhunyi?" ”

Wu Jilang suddenly realized that he would actively say, "I'll contact him." ”

I said, "Thank you." ”

(. = )