Obsession, resentment, delusion, hatred, love. Today, she was finally able to put it all down.

- Born a generation of a couple, really called two ecstasy, lovesick not blind date, who is the spring of the day!

……

It's muddy, like a dream.

I don't know what time is, I repeat things over and over again every day, maybe time flies, maybe time flies slowly......

Although my life is quiet to the point of isolation, I still hear about what is happening outside.

In the fifth year of the south, at the beginning of June, the Khitan finally began to provoke and sent troops to the city on the border of the south and the DPRK, waving flags, beating drums and shouting demonstrations.

The Southern Emperor was furious and ordered General Zhao Zhirui to wave his army down.

In the middle of September of the fifth year of the southern part of the country, the two countries fought for many days, and the strength of the two armies was equal.

In the fifth year of the southern year, at the beginning of the lunar month, due to the repeated wars between the two countries, the wind and smoke broke out, the people were not able to make a living, and the fallen leaves in the streets and alleys were extremely desolate.

In the sixth year of the South, at the beginning of the first month, the Southern Emperor deposed the triennial draft ceremony, conscientiously handled political affairs, and was close to the virtuous ministers.

In the sixth year of the South, in late April, the war was imminent, and the Southern Emperor led hundreds of thousands of troops to conquer in person, and the morale of the generals increased greatly.

In the sixth year of the south, in mid-August, he fought for many years, and suffered countless casualties. The white flags are fluttering, the whole country is mourning together, and the sorrow and joy are all over the field.

At this time, I stayed in Kongmingtang for a year and three months, and I became a lay disciple of Master Jinghui, so she named me "Jingxin", and now I am just like this name, and the nightmare in my heart has already been washed by Master Jinghui in this year, and I no longer have too much attachment to this red dust.

However, since Xiao Jincheng left, he has never entered the Kongming Hall again, nor has he come to find Master Jinghui, I know that there are chaotic battles in the court and China every day, and he has already been overwhelmed.

Also, it's a disappointment in me, it seems that he is really going to let me go this time. In my heart, I was relieved that he could see through it, so my guilt was not so deep.

However, Ning Xiang and Tianyan often come to Kongmingtang to see me, but I am closed, if I really want to go to the world, I don't have anything to do with the people in the world. Otherwise, how can I calm down and cleanse my heart of demons.

I promised Master Jinghui that when Xiao Jincheng unified the world, I would completely cut off the remaining half of the green silk.

Touching the hair around my neck, the cold and soft feeling lingered in my palm, which had been cut by me a year ago, and after such a long time, some new strands had grown on the ends of my hair.

Master Jinghui will also mention to me about the affairs of the court and politics by chance, but at this time, my mood has calmed down a lot, and when she mentions earthly things to me again, she no longer has the impulse and memory at the beginning, maybe this is the true realm of Buddhism.

Although I can't look at everything in my self-questioning now, I have long forgotten the pain of the past, and every time I think about it, it will not be painful again, but just smile and watch it as a drama in the world.

I have seen everything through, everything has been downplayed, but there is one thing that I have not explained to the master, every night, I can always dream of some strange dreams, all of which are people in strange costumes, and there are 'things' that I have never seen.

It's like a hopeless dream, I don't think about anything, I don't guess, I think everything is a dream......

……

Today is the National Memorial Day, I climbed the remote mountain with Master Jinghui, looking at the bleak scene in Shengjing City, Master Jinghui burst into tears, "The battle of the world, how innocent are the people." ”

"The master still hasn't really done what Buddhism calls seeing through the red dust, and your heart is still concerned about the world." I fiddled with the beads in my hand and sighed with a shallow smile on my face.

The tear stain hung on her slightly vicissitudes of life, she didn't reach out to wipe the tear stain, let it spread down, "Meditation, will you blame the teacher?" ”

"Why did the master say this?" I was puzzled and looked at her with a puzzled look.

"Back then, when you stepped into the Kongming Hall and called yourself a virtuous concubine, the poor nun planned to turn you into a monk. It's the poor nun who is selfish, and hopes that you can leave the emperor, and even the poor nun thinks at first glance that you are a disaster for the country and the people. ”

Her eyes were full of guilt, she lowered her head and stared at the string of Buddhist beads in her hand, and continued, "Now that I have been with you for such a long time, I have only discovered that it was indeed a mistake for the teacher to encourage you to escape into the empty door for the sake of the righteousness of the world. You have a deep root of wisdom, but your nature is so kind, as long as the teacher enlightens you a little and unties the knot, you can become a good queen, a good queen who assists the emperor in the world. ”

Hearing this, I smiled, "Master thinks, if Jing Xin really gave up hatred, would he still be willing to take the position of queen?" No, I never really wanted the position of queen, all I wanted was a free and happy life and a clean love. The emperor can't give me such a life, and the emperor can't give me clean love, so I have to be separated from him after all, and the two places are lovesick. It's a regrettable love, but regret is also a kind of beauty, right? ”

"You're really looking at it." She raised her head, which had always been lowered, with tears shining in her eyes, staring at my unusually calm eyes, "Calm down, the country is ruined and the family is already at a critical moment, either the Southern Dynasty will die, or the Khitan will be destroyed." ”

"Master, you must hope that Nan Chao won, right?"

"Don't you want to?"

"As a citizen of the Southern Dynasty, although he hopes that his country can dominate the world, if Xiao Jincheng rules the world, the people will definitely not be in dire straits. But can the master say that the emperor of the Khitan is not a good emperor? Remember the Khitan nine years ago, the territory was sparse and the population was thin. Today's Khitan, since Liancheng Yanping ascended the throne, has annexed many surrounding tribes in just two years, unified all Khitan ethnic groups, and is comparable to today's Southern Dynasties in terms of strength. You say, if the Khitan emperor was not a good emperor, how could he lead that country to unprecedented prosperity? Do you dare to say that Liancheng Yanping will definitely do worse than Xiao Jincheng if he unifies the world? ”

Master Jinghui's gaze locked on me deeply, as if he wanted to see me through, and the unpredictable change of his gaze was incomprehensible.

After a long time, she withdrew her gaze, "You can see more clearly than your teacher." ”

She sighed, took a few steps forward, and stared deeply at the desolate streets where there were no more children to play and hawkers selling, this is the pain that war has brought to the people of the world.

"Maybe it's because the teacher doesn't know the Khitan Khan at all, as you say, maybe he will do better than our emperor, but the poor nun has already decided in his heart that the only one who can bring happiness to the people by unifying the world is the current emperor Xiao Jincheng." I was deeply touched by the affirmation in her mouth and the firmness in her eyes, and I knew that Master Jinghui had always felt sorry for Xiao Jincheng, and even loved him as his own child.

Xiao Jincheng is hateful, but he is also lonely, he has almost no happiness in half his life, his long-cherished wish is only to unify the world and make up for his regret of usurping the throne and killing his mother and brother. He must use his actions to tell his father and emperor underground, the subjects of the world, that he has done a good job as this emperor, even if he dies after a hundred years, he will have the face to see his relatives under the Nine Springs.

And Liancheng Yanping, he has the talent of an emperor and the mind of a general, but he was born out of hatred.

He wanted to unify the world in order to help Yeluhuan avenge him, and in order to pacify the Southern Dynasty, he killed me and Xiao Jincheng. For this alone, his mind is not as broad as Xiao Jincheng, he is only for hate, and now Xiao Jincheng is only for the world.

The rain washed the dry floor, and the thick smell of dust swept my nose, and I reached out to catch a few drops of raindrops, and the cool feeling lingered in my palms.

In the wind and rain, there was a figure in the distance slowly coming, I stared at it and recognized the person in the rain, it was Zhao Ziyan. In her arms was a boy in her arms, about a year or two years old, with clear eyebrows and beautiful eyes, and vivid eyes were circulating around.

I was surprised, could it be that she had come to me? Now that I am a person who does not ask about the world, what will she do if she seeks me?

I looked at the child in her hand along her side, I had never heard Tianyan mention that he and Zhao Ziyan had such a big child.

But what's the matter with her sudden arrival today? My mind moved, what had happened?

When Zhao Ziyan handed over the child in her arms to the nurse behind her, she turned to look at me, with a shallow smile in her eyes that belonged to everyone's ladies, but there was a trace of worry and contradiction hidden in the deepest part of her eyes.

I bowed respectfully, "I don't know if the Prime Minister's wife is visiting, what can I teach?" ”

"I want to talk to you about the current strife." Zhao Ziyan didn't let the nurse leave, but naturally stroked the child's forehead, her eyes were full of doting, but she didn't look directly at me, as if she was dodging something.

"Now that meditation has returned to the Buddha's family, the affairs of the world have nothing to do with me." I chuckled and didn't ask much about her sudden words.

"Is it not that we can ask about the things of the world?" Zhao Ziyan walked into the Buddhist hall and looked around, "The love and dust in this world are not something you can let go of. ”

Listening to what she said, I no longer went around and around with her, "Madame, please speak directly." ”

She gently waved her hand to the nurse who had been following her closely behind her, "Take Yifan to the hall to find Master Jinghui to lighten it, I have something to say to this sister." ”

"Yes, ma'am." The nurse replied respectfully, and then left with the child in her arms.

It is not difficult to see that Zhao Ziyan loves this child very much, and her eyes have been closely following the figure of the nurse until she disappears......

Looking at Zhao Ziyan like this, I am still a little uncomfortable, after all, I am still involved with her to this day.

As if she hadn't noticed my gaze, Zhao Ziyan gradually withdrew her gaze, "Concubine Xian......"

Her 'virtuous concubine' suddenly struck my heart, and the past of many years seemed to linger in my mind, which made me even more frightened.

With what I know about her, if it weren't for a big event, she would never come to see me in person, not to mention the grievances between me and her, even if it was a relationship with Tianyan, she wouldn't want to deal with me.

She must have had a big thing to say to me today, and she could only say it to me.