5. Ryoko's world

As the light came through the gaps in the clothes drying in the bathroom, Ryoko slowly woke up from the dream, and although she had forgotten the contents of the dream from the moment she opened her eyes, a feeling of unhappiness lingered in her chest.

It's not a dream that makes people feel happy.

Picking up the phone, the light on the screen was a little dazzling, half past five. I sat up from the bed, combed my hair with my hands, looked at the roommates who were still asleep, and felt envious, when can I sleep until eight o'clock, no, eight o'clock may be a bit of a luxury, then seven o'clock, when can I sleep until seven o'clock?

"Bang" "Bang...... The sound of the wind constantly beating on the glass, opening the window, and the coolness after the early summer rain quickly permeated the whole body.

Decided to go out for a walk.

Last night it should have been a lot of rain, and the ground was full of small puddles of deep and shallow water. Liangzi walked a little outside, and after walking for a short time, water splashed into the shallow socks, touching the skin, and it was cold. Ryoko was wearing a red T-shirt and sports shorts, and when the wind with a sense of water passed through the T-shirt and pants, the tall sycamore leaves on the side of the road rattled, and the weeds on the ground, the unnamed wildflowers, every hair on her body, and her whole heart, all rippled. There wasn't anyone on campus, no one was as stupid as she was, and she woke up so early on the weekend.

Because of this, when he is alone, he can be himself freely.

In the early morning after the rain, the air was moist like floating water droplets, mixed with bursts of fragrance, and when I looked up to find the source of the incense, I found that it was magnolia. Standing under the tree and carefully looking, the magnolia flowers are huge and ivory white, the leaves are thick and dark green, its own plant is burly and tough, the flowers and leaves and the trunk also complement each other, fall generously, when the flowers bloom, people are reminded of not the graceful female Jiao'e, but like the female soldiers who bravely kill the enemy on the battlefield.

Close your eyes and fantasize, as described in the fairy tale, each drop of water is a world, each world is very small, bound by a fantasy elf trapped by the dark force, the fingertips in the air rhythm to help the elf break the enchantment, "bang bang", one world after another collapsed, one after another lives were saved, how good, it is liberation, but also redemption. Everyone around us, old or young, rich or poor, is inevitably disturbed by something invisible, or bound up, like an elf trapped in a drop of water by magic. The elves of fantasy can be saved by themselves, so who should save the many people in the world? How can the demonic obstacles in the hearts of these people be removed? Don't talk about others, just yourself, troubles follow one after another, is it because your personality is too negative and depressed to magnify the pain you face? Why do you always feel unhappy for more than 20 years? I have encouraged myself and struggled, but my personality has not changed, I am still worried, and I still feel sorry for myself. Scratching his head, Gu Ying's self-pity didn't seem to be used appropriately.

There were puddles of water on the ground, and when I stepped on them hard, there was a "pop", and the water splashed and wet the uppers. Such a small game Liangzi played from childhood to adulthood, and never got tired of it, but when he was barefoot, adults didn't care, so it doesn't matter how he stepped on it, when he grew up, he was afraid of soiling his shoes and being scolded by his mother and increased his love for beauty, and he was afraid of the eyes of others from time to time, what kind of action is normal, and what kind of behavior is different. But now there is no one around, she just wants to be a little more casual, a little wanton, there are so few things that can please herself, more restraint, and one less happy thing, the older she gets, the bigger the hollowness in her heart.

Squat down and look at the reflection of the small puddles, the same sky, clouds, trees, and yourself. If the things in the puddle are real things, then there is a real world in them, right? If the reflected world really exists, then the reflected self must also exist. If so, which world is the most real? Could the existing world be a reflection of other worlds? Maybe she is the one who lives in the glass ball, and the real one is watching the dynamics of the world boredly with a glass of wine at the moment.

After thinking about it, looking up at the sky, it is a little grayish and pale, and the clouds are scattered and slightly thicker in the place where the sun is about to rise, and perhaps the sun will have to get rid of the entanglement of the clouds to appear. Above this 10,000-foot altitude, will there really be an unknown life, in a place or time and space that she doesn't know, will there be another good son alive? Suddenly there was some hesitation, whether I should wave my hand to say hello to those unknown me. I feel stupid, obviously I am thinking, everything as far as my eyes can be touched, hard, soft, comfortable, stinging, all are the most real feelings from the skin, why do you still feel that you are living in the illusion?

But I still can't help but fantasize about what kind of life I live in the "puddle world", if it is a complete replica of my own space life, then Liangzi will feel lost, and he will already feel tired just by breathing, and those who live together will also be very aggrieved, will he complain and say, "It's because you live so badly, even we suffer together!" "So it is easier to reach out and break these worlds, and it is easier to not exist than to live in pain; But how nice it would be to live a completely different life from now, where the worlds are parallel and independent of each other, and the self in those worlds lives a colorful life, traveling through mountains and rivers in all directions, free and unrestrained. If that's the case, Ryoko won't feel how lonely and lonely she will be alive now, you see, in the underworld, the vast sentient beings, there will always be someone in her who lives the kind of life she wants in a certain world.

Squatting down for too long, his legs are sore, his fingertips are touched, the puddles are covered with fine lines, and the reflected self is then separated, this small world is about to collapse, there is no way, Liangzi sees that he is unhappy reflected in this world, then destroy.

Ryoko stood up and walked forward, feeling comfortable and refreshing, not as sticky as she imagined, and a group of swallows kept hovering between the two rows of plane trees. I couldn't help but stop and linger, a swallow flew over from my ear, swept low and then rushed to the treetops, was it greeting itself? There were still several swallows playing not far away, and she couldn't tell if the swallow that was gliding and landing was the one that had just crossed her ears and heard her breathing, so in the eyes of these swallows, every human looked the same, and they couldn't recognize it vaguely. Everything is the same in the eyes of human beings, and what do they see each other? What do they think of humans?

Each of these things has a unique way of communicating with each other, right? Otherwise, if you look at a flower from germination to blooming until withering and withering, how lonely it must be in its world. If the flower talks to the flower, and the bird talks to the bird, then the flower says to the insect, "Oh, it's going to rain, come and take shelter under me!" "Do you understand? If everything has an idea, then a tree, a flower, an insect, and a bird as far as the eye can see will laugh at the stupidity of this person who walks aimlessly and has broken thoughts.

Many times Liangzi has the idea of returning to nature, going to live in the deep mountains and old forests, avoiding the complexity of interpersonal relationships, bypassing the fast-paced pace of the city, a deep forest, half an acre of square pond, a wooden house, a person, a spoon of food, and a bean soup. Sunrise and sunset, every day with trees, birds, animals, flowers, birds, insects and fish to communicate, interested, write and paint, until old age and death do not interact with the world. When a person comes to this world to live, no one can be sure that he will have a past life and a future life, and even if he does, he only has the memory of the present life. She doesn't have the idea of being a great man for centuries, and she doesn't want to sacrifice herself to benefit the world, she is an ordinary and selfish person, it is already difficult to please herself, how can she be happy with others; If you can't even be happy yourself, how can you make others believe in the existence of happiness?

Liangzi remembers that there was once such a like-minded friend who said that the "rod beating the roe deer scooping the fish, and the pheasant flying into the rice pot" in the primary school text was deeply rooted in her heart, and the most ideal life was to go to the old forest in the deep mountains of the northeast to be a forest ranger, guarding a forest and a wooden house to live, so it seems that the old friend has a little more pursuit than herself, at least the forest ranger is still a person who sacrifices for the country. It's a pity that there will never be a time when pheasants, leopards and fish are scattered everywhere in the Northeast, and that friend is now struggling on the front line of the graduate school entrance examination, and is overwhelmed by all kinds of legal provisions, case studies and video materials of Liu Fengke, Zhong Xiuyong and others every day. How long has it been since the days of skipping classes and drinking together and drinking in the school's garden and talking about the future have passed, and these times have been blurred in the depths of memory like a layer of cobwebs.

The person who once secretly promised in his heart that he would never let go of it begins to become indifferent over time, and it will not hurt to slowly delete the contact information about that person, and finally become a stranger who was once familiar, and it will take a long time for others to mention that name after many years, oh, it turns out that they had been together intimately and talked about the world many years ago. Just thinking about it like this, my heart begins to waver, what is the meaning of such a life? Why did we come to this world? What kind of scenery should you meet, what kind of wine you have drunk, what kind of people you fall in love, and what kind of things you have done to make this trip worthwhile?

6. Stolen goodness

The cell phone rings, ending Ryoko's series of reverie.

"Good morning, are you taking a walk?"

"Well, do you still remember what you said to me last night?"

"What?"

"I told my roommates that you were going to invite them to dinner."

"Oh my God! Did you promise me? ”

Hearing Huo Heng on the other end of the phone, he exclaimed, and couldn't help but smile with crooked eyes, "It's good to knock you hard!" ”

"Hooray!"

She pointed her phone at the sky and then moved closer to the grass, "It's good air today. Listen, there are birds and insects. ”

"Thank you for letting me hear such a nice voice. I don't understand it, but they must have a unique way of communicating with each other, and maybe they're just saying, 'Good morning, ugly bug!' ''You're early, too, bald turtledove!'' ’”

Ryoko was pleasantly surprised, and the world was opened.

"Do you think that if a bird has a will, it will remember the wind it has had? If the wind also has a soul, will it come back where it has been blown? ”

"Fool, the wind doesn't care if the bird remembers itself, the weight of the bird that has carried it is enough to fulfill itself. If you love somewhere deeply, attachment will bring it back. ”

"Thank you for answering my question so seriously."

"You're welcome, a question is five dollars, if there is no money, the trouble is to set an example, thank you."

"A skin, if you like it, take it."

"A small person has a lot of mouth. You can't go back on what you say. ”

"What is there to regret, don't you have already slept, how do you want to dominate this body?"

"What, it's obvious that you took advantage of it, okay, I can clearly remember that night when you lay in my arms and murmured like a kitten, and kept repeating that you finally slept Huo Heng. Look at it, you see, it's you who have always had bad intentions on me, and forced you to go out of the wall for prostitution! ”

Liangzi felt that a big black line appeared on his head, but he was also a high-level medical student who came out of Zheng'er Bajing Heavy College ten years ago, is that how he spoiled the idiom...... Bad ...... Also red apricot out of the wall......

"You're right, I forced you to be a prostitute, I let you go out of the wall, I got cheap and behaved, hey, my lord Qingtian, no matter what you plan to do with the minions, if you want to kill or scrape the minions, you will never say anything."

"Humph! That's what you said, so I'll have to think about it, hmm...... On the day you say you're breaking up, I'll put you on the operating table and slowly dismember, kissing and thinking about where to start the operation...... Well...... Start with your least favorite calves, then your arms, your internal organs, your skull! I'm going to soak them all in formalin, and I'm going to keep your heart and head alone, and I love your face, flamboyant and domineering, it's the complete opposite of your personality, and I'm going to keep your heart by my pillow every day, so that even if you die, your heart will always stay by my side......"

It's a little creepy to think about, I'm afraid it's not that I've watched too many European and American movies, right? But who will be the first to speak......

After imagining the scene of standing on the operating table and dismembering Huo Heng little by little, Liangzi's mouth grinned behind his ear, and he giggled.

Huo Heng was a little annoyed that Liangzi could still laugh, "Look at you, a heartless person, I'm going to dismember you, and you're still laughing so happily!" ”

Ryoko was a little tired holding the mobile phone in his left hand, so he replaced it with his right hand, "I beg you to get rid of me quickly and give my poor old father and mother a huge amount of compensation to ensure that they have no worries about food and clothing for the rest of their lives." You are also a merit to end my life of suffering and suffering, I will return to heaven after the love tribulation and continue to be my peach fairy, and you will be reincarnated in the next life to be a good person. ”

Huo Heng laughed haha, his tone was relaxed, and his tone was slightly raised, which was a slightly childish baby sound. Liangzi likes to hear him laugh like this the most, it was because of this laughter that ten miles of spring grass grew in the barren heart, how could there be such a joyful laughter, how could he meet such a person. Closing his eyes and listening to Huo Heng's laughter was a kind of satisfaction that he was willing to die now.

"I don't want it, I want you to stay by my side for the rest of my life and torture you slowly. I'll go to you this week when I'm free, and we'll be able to fight three hundred rounds! ”

"Oh, look at what this strange uncle is talking about, the kindergarten children don't understand it......"

"It's all old drivers and pretending to be innocent, see if I can clean up your little goblin when the time comes...... Needless to say, I'm at the hospital, I'll call you when I'm free, I'm going to eat obediently, I'll check at any time! ”

"Okay, let's go, don't be late."

This is Huo Heng's eightiest time reminding Liangzi to eat on time, he is impatient and she is willing to listen.

Ryoko is a person whose life and rest are both regular and irregular. Every morning at about half past five, the biological clock will urge herself to get up and do exercise, basically running, for Liangzi running is the most brainless lazy exercise, and you can also exercise to the whole body, but she occasionally chooses to play basketball and take a walk; Every night at half past seven o'clock I went out for a run, did stretching, took a bath, went to bed at about ten o'clock, chatted with Huo Heng for half an hour and then fell asleep together.

Chatting for half an hour before going to bed is Huo Heng's "heart-to-heart time", he said, the two people just started to fall in love, they were in a different place, and the distance between them was already very far, so they could no longer let the hearts become alienated from each other, and there was still a twelve-year age gap between the two.

Huo Heng is always afraid, afraid of many things, afraid that the twelve years of his early birth in the world will erode his thoughts and energy, afraid that he will not understand Liangzi, and afraid that Liangzi will also not understand himself, so he always asks Liangzi to think and talk about his experience all day, or will force her to say her true feelings about her performance that day.

Perhaps in Huo Heng's eyes, hard work can really fill the huge gap of age.

Liangzi understands Huo Heng's hidden worries, but the dialogue between souls is not something that can be replaced by just a few words and a fixed time chat, if they really know each other, how can they care about those twelve years and how can they be affected by distance. Everyone in this world craves the understanding of others, and it's hard. It is even more difficult to connect with him, and it is not as simple as age and distance between them. But Liangzi was stupid, and told Huo Heng in detail about her whole day's itinerary like a report, what movies she watched, how the paper progressed, how long she ran, and the strange little brother who cheered for her on the side of the road.

Liangzi wanted to share everything about himself with Huo Heng in detail, imagining all this in his imagination, imagining all his reactions, and time seemed to be no longer so tormented.

Huo Heng always didn't forget to ask Liangzi carefully what he ate for three meals, all because Liangzi's diet was so poor, if he couldn't eat, he wouldn't eat it, a cup of soy milk and eggs in the morning was the limit, lunch depended on fate, and dinner was skipped.

Not very hungry, but often drink boiled water.

In fact, Liangzi doesn't like to eat, but she was always sick when she was a child, and she took too many hormone drugs to develop a fat-prone physique, she was sensitive and sensitive, and as soon as others said that she was fat, she began to diet, and over time she developed the habit of eating irregularly. But Huo Heng is a doctor and pays more attention to sleep and diet.

Once Huo Heng called Liangzi during lunch breaks, and casually asked her if she had eaten. Ryoko was fascinated by the novel "Snowflake Secret Fan" at the time, and wanted to quickly end the conversation and continue to read the novel, but without thinking about it, she replied that she didn't.

The two of them were in the stage of intense affection, but Liangzi could not help but ignore Huo Heng for an afternoon, Huo Heng felt very strange, and asked her on the way home from work: "Have you eaten dinner?" ”

"Nope."

Huo Heng was a little angry: "Has my little girl eaten iron for lunch?" Don't eat dinner! ”

"I'm watching the movie version of "Snowflake Secret Fan", and I don't have time for dinner."

"Is it pretty?!"

At that time, Liangzi suddenly reacted to Huo Heng's meaning, knew that he was wrong, and said with a twist of his mind: "You are naturally the most beautiful in my eyes." ”

Huo Heng was a little crying and laughing, he originally wanted to be angry with Liangzi, but he couldn't get angry. On the way home from work, he made an hour-long phone call to Ryoko, all about diet and health education, and cited a series of live cases to intimidate. However, Ryoko still didn't take it to heart, just nodded happily and echoed, but in her mind she was still thinking about the shortcomings of the movie version, and secretly regretted the failure of casting.

Since then, Huo Heng has been urging Liangzi to eat on time three times a day, and occasionally let him take photos or open videos to conduct a surprise inspection during the meal, each time Liangzi is perfunctory and replied that he was eating, but he was actually caught sleeping in bed or reading a novel, and then the chicken and the dog jumped and slapped the meal packed back by his roommate, claiming that the rivers and lakes were in emergency; When the roommates were gone, they had to put on a coat in a panic, pull on their slippers and run downstairs, running into the cafeteria like a gust of wind.

is so panicked, she is always distressed by the aunt who eats in the cafeteria: "Look how hungry this girl is, she is panting and sweating, and she is so hungry and thin, come, don't worry, Auntie will give our girl a spoonful of rice!" ”

Every time she gets a meal full of a box of meals, Ryoko always cries and laughs.

But many times Liangzi will still make up a lot of reasons for not going to eat, and stubbornly insist on his habits, not that he doesn't take Huo Heng seriously, but he has some faint uneasiness in his heart.

Fear of making a change, fear of letting him subtly affect himself, become his habit, become an integral part of life. The better Huo Heng treated her, the more she felt unreal, and she didn't have a sense of security that she couldn't keep him by her side.

All the good things were stolen, and sooner or later she had to give them back in full, or even multiplied.