1. Liang Shan

At half past six in the evening, the wind blowing in from the window was warm, and Ryoko leaned out of the window, but the sun was setting in the west but not completely below the horizon.

originally planned to go out for a run in another hour, but Liang Shan said that there was a dinner at seven o'clock and invited her to go with her, knowing that it was with Su Yilin, a business law teacher, Liangzi packed up his thoughts of refusal.

I was entangled in whether to put on light makeup, but when I saw Liang Shan, who was playing games on the bed unkempt, he didn't mean to clean up at all, so he simply changed into clean clothes, after all, he was just a companion, although he was familiar with Liang Shan, but it was not good to dominate after all.

At the appointed time, Liang Shan put on his shoes, brushed his hair casually with his hand, and then took Liangzi's arm and went downstairs.

The destination is Liang Shanxuan, a Sichuan skewer hot pot on the street of Huajie.

The first time Ryoko came to this store, it should have been newly opened during the period of working and interning, and the decoration is very good, and the plaque of the store is decorated with large pink cherry blossoms, wrapped in layers of plastic petals. The interior decoration is quite emotional, most of the decorations on the wall are all kinds of flowers and oil paintings, the tables and chairs are logs, and each table is separated by an arm-thick bamboo frame to look antique, and the most important thing is that there is a small stage in the middle, compared with such a quaint decoration, some are too modern and incongruous, behind the stage is an electronic screen, guests can order songs to sing, or order their favorite songs, and Jay Chou's "Sunny Day" is playing at this time.

Liangzi is satisfied with this atmosphere, literature and art are full of mood, but Liang Shan doesn't like it very much, Liang Shan likes the kind of temporary platform on the street, a group of people who don't know each other sit in a circle, free at will, full of food and drink, sweating.

Choosing such a place is probably to take into account Su Yilin's taste, and he can't let a university teacher go to a roadside barbecue stall with him.

When the two of them walked into the door before and after, Su Yilin stood close to the small stage and waved.

Before approaching, Su Yilin spoke enthusiastically first: "Liangzi is also here?" Sit inside. ”

Liangzi said hello stiffly, consciously sat inside, and left the position opposite the teacher to Liang Shan.

Although Su Yilin was a very active teacher in class and had almost no barriers with the students, Liangzi's heart was still uneasy, after all, this was the first time he had private contact with his teacher, but Liang Shan beside him seemed very casual, and sat next to Liangzi and poured a glass of water for each of them.

The atmosphere was very weird, Liang Shan didn't speak, he drank his tea slowly, Liangzi was a little wooden, he didn't know what to say, so he was silent, Su Yilin coughed and beckoned the waiter to order.

The waiter approached and apologized for explaining that the skewers needed to be picked up by the customer at the food selection area.

When the three of them came back, the bottom of the mushroom soup pot was almost open, and Su Yilin was silently responsible for the dishes, his movements were orderly, and he couldn't see the slightest displeasure. In fact, if you look closely, in Wang Xiao's words, Su Yilin is quite handsome, with a tall nose bridge, slightly upturned lips when he is not smiling, but he is covered by a pair of thick black-framed glasses, and a pair of radiant eyes have lost his momentum slightly.

It stands to reason that Liangzi should not appear on such an occasion, but she knows better about the entanglement between Liang Shan and Su Yilin than anyone other than the person concerned.

In other words, she knows Liang Shan's story best.

Liang Shan's favorite thing to do is to go to a barbecue stall on a sweltering summer evening and sip cold beer while skewering.

But Liang Shan is not always called Liangzi, because he understands that Liangzi does not like to eat at night.

Most of the time, Liang Shan gathers with a group of acquaintances and plays a lot of drinking games on the barbecue stalls on the roadside.

Liang Shan's hair is very short, he is lean, and he is an unruly boy who loses the game at the wine table and gulps of wine. In fact, Liang Shan's hair was not so short before, and he once grew long hair for a tall and thin boy on the school basketball team, but the story was too long, and the people dispersed before they finished telling.

Liang Shan's mother is the secretary of the municipal party committee of a county-level city, not like a loving mother, but like Yan's father, whose father is an editor of a publishing house, and seems to others to be a happy model family, but Liang Shan told Liangzi that she was not born to her father. My father doesn't love my mother, so I grew up with my grandmother since I was a child.

But later, my grandmother also died because of Liang Shan.

Therefore, when I first met, Liang Shan's temperament was cold and indifferent, he couldn't see the magnificence of mountains, rivers, lakes and seas, and he couldn't see the splendorness of valley wind and mountain flowers, and he was always alone in a dull place, quietly in a daze or reading a book.

On the day of the first encounter, the boy wore a bright red school jersey and knocked Liang Shan to the ground, how could his clumsy but sincere eyes be so stunning, and the big "No. 8" behind him was like a nameless wildfire that instantly stirred up the ten-mile wasteland in Liang Shan's heart.

I don't know what to do, when I saw No. 8, Liang Shan's desert-like eyes quickly sprouted and flowered. Since then, Liang Shan has simply been reborn and re-behaved, and the way of chasing backwards is simply more exciting than the ninety-nine-eighty-one difficulties that Tang Seng Xitian has experienced.

But although the No. 8 is good at playing basketball, he has a moderate communication disorder. Therefore, in the eyes of No. 8, Liang Shan is like the center of the disaster, but he is afraid to avoid it.

It is said that the female chasing the male compartment yarn Liang Shan caught up with No. 8 by stalking, but Liang Shan always arrogantly crossed his legs and said: "He, obviously confused by my beautiful appearance, look at this phoenix eyebrows and almond eyes, look at this porcelain doll-like blowing and breakable skin, although it took a lot of effort, but it is not still a minute to take people down." ”

At this time, No. 8 always looked at Liang Shan stupidly and smirked on the sidelines, not speaking much to defend himself.

But before the two were sweet for a while, there was a scandal in the school about Liang Shan and the business law teacher, that is, Su Yilin, Liang Shan was entangled with a girl in high school to engage in homosexuality, and then killed the girl, and it was also rumored that it was because Liang Shan was hovering between Su Yilin and the girl that the girl committed suicide in the bath.

No. 8's father took into account his son's actual situation, and without understanding the truth of the matter, No. 8 was forcibly sent to Japan to study architecture.

Regarding the sudden disappearance of No. 8, Liang Shan never said anything, calmly as if he had never appeared.

That's it, the connection is also broken suddenly.

Friends complained about Liang Shan's lack of affection, and when people left, they were like no one else, and they still drank wine and ate meat to live their own leisurely life.

In fact, on the night of the 8th's disappearance, Ryoko saw Liang Shan cry for the first time.

The two asked for two baskets of beer, a table of kebabs, the meat did not move, but Liang Shan drank a basket and a bottle of wine.

From being silent at the beginning, to muttering the name of No. 8 to Ryoko all the time, explaining the whole story repeatedly.

Liangzi didn't persuade her to say a word, pricked up her ears to listen, let Liang Shan play drunk, and watched her vomit again and again.

Liang Shan went to boarding school when he was in high school, and he was better with a girl in the same dormitory, and the girl's family was very complicated, her parents were divorced, and she lived with her mother with bipolar disorder. Liang Shan felt sorry for the girl, and thought about it everywhere, never thought that the girl was secretly in love, and he didn't realize it, he still ate together, took a bath, skipped class, and played the night market.

Later, by chance, Liang Shan and his substitute teacher, Su Yilin, met by chance, and in the process of slowly getting along, they developed a teacher-student relationship with an eight-year-old difference. The girl was very disappointed in Liang Shan after she found out, and she was even more tired of the whole world, and her mother found Liang Shan's diary, which was not only beaten, but also locked in the house for reflection, causing her to completely lose hope of living and choose suicide in the extreme.

After the accident, the relationship between Liang Shan and Su Yilin was naturally made public, and the girl's mother was unyielding and wanted Liang Shan to pay for her life, although Liang Shan's mother had a certain amount of power, she was still forced to send Liang Shan to the deep mountain temple for a year of "recuperation".

There are many doubts about the girl's death, and many people don't believe Liang Shan, including Liang Shan's mother and Su Yilin. The temple's one-year "recuperation" made Liang Shan see a lot, and he didn't let go of the hatred in his heart, but he was indifferent to his feelings for Su Yilin.

But now Su Yilin has reappeared in Liang Shan's life, saying that he wants to be together again, and the past that was finally scabbed was torn open and a bloody wound was added.

Liang Shan's boy couldn't bear the rumors, her boy ran away, and her boy probably ...... It wasn't hers all along.

It's too late to explain or he doesn't want to explain at all, and Liang Shan can't figure it out.

Who does he love in his heart, for Liang Shan, the answer may be equally vague.

Ke Liangzi, as a bystander, witnessed the changes made by Liang Shan for No. 8, and naturally felt that the relationship between Liang Shan and No. 8 was more pure, just as they all understood that night that Liang Shan was not drunk when he called that person's name at the beginning. Maybe it's not that you don't want to explain, but you're afraid to explain, and you're afraid that the person will still have to leave after the explanation, and if you don't explain, you can give yourself a reasonable excuse.

Liang Shan cut off the long hair that had been stored for No. 8 for two years, returned to his former tomboy appearance, and was happy all day long, going out with friends to drink and eat meat, playing games, traveling, and staying up late before the exam.

Perhaps only Liangzi understands that after No. 8 left, Liang Shan lost his soul again.

"Maybe this soul was inadvertently given to me by No. 8, and now it's been taken away, so it's not impossible."

2. Look at the stars

What was Liang Shan's original soul like?

Ryoko couldn't imagine it.

In fact, Ryoko can't even portray what her own soul is like.

What will be the result of Su Yilin and Liang Shan this time? Obviously, the answer is already coming out, but Liangzi just doesn't want to think about it.

It's not that he doesn't care about Liang Shan, Liangzi just doesn't want to use his own thoughts to affect Liang Shan's judgment, loving someone is the person that his heart can't help but want to love, what does it have to do with himself in the eyes of others?

"What is shit in the eyes of others is a treasure in my eyes." Is there something wrong with thinking like this?

In the final analysis, it's just like people drinking water, cold and warm and self-aware.

I feel that the time is almost up, and I have to find a reason, Su Yilin and Liang Shan must have something to talk about.

Liangzi sent Huo Heng a WeChat message and asked him to call him so that he could get out.

As soon as the message was successfully sent, the call came in immediately, and Liangzi greeted Su Yilin and the others apologetically, squatting in the open space in front of the store to watch the stars.

I remember my grandmother said that a person on the earth has a star in the sky. After the death of a good person, the soul will rise to the sky and become a star, and the more kind a person is, the more dazzling the star will become.

If so, which one would Grandma be?

If so, I'm afraid I don't have the qualifications to become a star.

"I couldn't even react to the phone call so quickly."

"I still think that you will ignore me when you go out to eat, and I am afraid that you have something to wait for, but I am reluctant to let you wait for me for a second."

"Hehe, it's fine. What are you doing? ”

"I'm thinking about you."

"Oh, why is your mouth so sweet today?"

"Oh, the lips that were kissed by my little angel, do you want to take a bite?"

"......Shh Why didn't I find you so flamboyant before! ”

Hearing the child's speech on the other end of the phone, Ryoko was in a trance, pretending not to hear, and raised her eyes to continue to look at the stars.

The moon was not very round, and seemed to hang weakly above it, and it was hazy through a layer of mist.

The last time Huo Heng came, he kept complaining about the air, making his nose sneeze constantly. This small city is based on the coal industry, so it is impossible to see the sky day and night, and it is often obscured by a thick layer of smog between the human eye and the clear blue sky. How long has it been since people here have seen white clouds? Ryoko didn't know, at least in the four years that she came here to go to college, she rarely saw it.

Thinking that Huo Heng should be busy there, Liangzi casually found an excuse and hung up the phone.

Squatting to the point that his legs were numb, he stood up and stretched his limbs vigorously.

At eight or nine o'clock in the night, Huajie is the most lively time of the day, the star lights hanging over the street and the door lights of each house are all lit up as long as they are lights, and all kinds of snacks are also out of the stalls one after another, placed on both sides of the street in an orderly manner, some of the food stalls are crowded with people, and there are also particularly lonely and empty, such as the one that sells fried cold noodles, placed closest to the road, the brow of the hawker's golden lock and the cigarette butts thrown on the ground prove that his business is bleak, and he can only sit dryly behind the stall and smoke non-stop, From time to time, he raised his eyes to look at the passers-by and shouted: "Do you want to eat fried jelly?" Let's have one! Smooth and delicious fried cold noodles! From time to time, he looked at the vendor selling fried yogurt opposite with red eyes, and the business was so busy that he couldn't get too busy, and he was sweating profusely.

Does this trafficker have someone he loves? Was he married to that man? If not, will the midnight dreams of those who can't love appear?

Walking to the intersection, it seems that there is a traffic flow of all types, Volkswagen, BMW, Honda, Hyundai...... Liangzi began to be in a trance again, and question marks popped up in his head, what kind of people were sitting in the car? What kind of lives did they live? Do you also worry about the trivial things of life?

I can't imagine other people's lives, looking at living people, but being indifferent like seeing stones on the side of the road, it has nothing to do with myself.

Suddenly smelled a smoky and choking smell, looking for the source of the smoke, is a barbecue stall in the right rear, it is estimated that the technology is not at home, this will be a thick smoke, so far away and so choking, no wonder so many tables and chairs are sparsely seated two or three men who are drinking and playing wine.

Next to the barbecue stand is a roast duck restaurant, and the stone pavement in front of the door is greasy and black, presumably the oil stains accumulated from the long-term splashing of those oily waters. In the oven in front of the store, there are more than a dozen cooked roast ducks, bright in color, and the oil is still dripping down.

Business isn't good.

The boss is a middle-aged man with a straight stomach, sitting shirtless behind the table in the store, shaking the fan in his hand, watching the spy war drama with relish, and raising his eyes from time to time to see if there are any guests coming in outside the door. A little boy about six years old has eyebrows and eyes similar to those of the boss, but the square contours of the face are different from the boss, presumably inherited from his mother, and he is doing his homework on a low desk, and the light of the incandescent lamp is not very good, and especially small insects fly back and forth around it. Ryoko thought that the little boy was lying so close, and she didn't know if it would affect her eyesight.

walked back and forth, his legs were not numb and he continued to squat down, swiped the circle of friends, opened Weibo but had no intention of browsing, and turned it off.

The voice on the phone just now was childish, clear, like a glass wind chime hanging in a shop window. It's Huo Heng's three-year-old son, right? Who does the baby look like? Will he inherit Huo Heng's big eyes and small round face? In that case, it would be a small version of Huo Heng.

Children are probably the happiest people in the world!

Huo Heng is so good-looking, the baby should also be good-looking, right? I heard that the baby's mother is also a beauty, thin and demure, and a gentle person.

Little by little, the guilt melted in his chest, and if the baby knew that his father was entangled with a schoolgirl one day, how would he see himself and his father? And the mother of the baby who has been kept in the dark, how can she be disappointed in her husband? If she gets married in the future, what kind of mood will she be in the face of her cheating husband and mistress?

I heard that Huo Heng and his wife also got married because they loved each other back then, and how long did it take for Huo Heng to say those three words to himself affectionately. It's not that he doubts Huo Heng's intentions for himself, he just sighs that everything in this world is changing too fast, including love. Especially love.

But why is that? Is marriage really the grave of love?

Most of the relatives and elders in the family are married on a blind date, and they still can't escape the unfortunate fate of marriage, such as their parents, who can't say a few words of confidant words in their lives. From this point of view, marriage is not just the grave of love.

Marriage...... It seems difficult to manage.

So, why do people get married? Why should a person make a lifelong covenant with another person?

Love goes from shallow to strong, from having to nothing, in fact, all enthusiasm will cool, this is the law, right? What is eternal in this world, and what is immortal?

Even the relationship with Huo Heng is the same, there are no exceptions, those who can't escape are bound to go to nothingness, will Huo Heng hate himself at that time? At that time, would you hate yourself who is now obsessed with this?

Regarding the future, Ryoko has too many doubts, and no one can help her answer them, and no one can give her guidance on how to go in the future. Just like the crossroads in front of you, no matter what kind of trajectory of life you have, you have to rely on yourself to grope forward little by little.

The dark night always makes people's hearts have nothing to hide, Ryoko sighed.

The night spread silently, eating away at his enthusiasm for Huo Heng, his desire for life, and being lonely and hopeless every minute and every second, he was suffering from torture, what did he want?

That's right, Ryoko asked herself, what do you want? But what is the purpose of human life?

When will this aimless life come to an end......

Come to think of it, it's been a long time since I've smoked.

"Moon head, turn over the livestock, turn over to the old estuary, buy a chicken, lead peas, buy a monkey, turn over heels, turn into my sister-in-law's room, and see my sister-in-law's flower pillow......"

In fact, the sky was dark, and there was not a single star.

Ryoko is already twenty years old, and he has not done many good deeds, but he has become a wicked person first.

"Ryoko, where did you go? We're going back. ”

WeChat received Liang Shan's message, and was shocked to find that it had been out for nearly an hour, and his reverie was a little far, afraid that Liang Shan and they would be in a hurry, so he turned around and trotted into the store.