We are netizens.

Acquaintance on a certain software, added QQ.

Later, they became close friends.

He is from Chongqing, and I am from Shanghai. Far apart. He's a good boy, a senior in high school. I met him when I was in my second year of junior high school.

After we became very good friends and brothers, I got to know him a lot, including his ex-girlfriend.

He also likes his ex-girlfriend, which I always know. Even if they broke up because the girl said, "I don't like you anymore." But he still liked her and wanted to get her back.

When I first realized that I liked him, I was thrilled. It is said that when you are young, you like someone, and the girl behaves bravely, while the boy is indeed timid. I don't know if it's true, I just know how desperate I wanted to tell him, but I didn't.

I don't say it, it's not that I'm afraid of that so-called ex-girlfriend, even though it was his first love. Yes, first love, someone who has made so many girls retreat, but it doesn't affect me, I can slowly squeeze her out of his heart, can't I?

I was in his third year of high school because he didn't want him to be distracted or annoyed by my confession.

Even if I confess and we break up, he won't be affected, after all, I may not be able to make many ripples in his heart, but I still don't dare to try, even if there is only a 1 in 10,000 probability that it will affect him, I don't want to. So, I was going to wait until the day he graduated from high school to confess.

Isn't it just a year, and it can also better let me see my heart, is this the throbbing of the youth of a girl in the flower season for a while, or is it really moving.

A year passed quickly, and I would jokingly and tentatively say things like I like you, love you, etc.

On the night when his college entrance examination was completely over, I excitedly posted a message: Happy duck after the college entrance examination! He replied to me in seconds: yes duck hhh

I took a deep breath and was about to send out "I like you, xx" when he sent me a message before me......

It reads: Qiqi, do you know, I have recovered my ex-girlfriend! This time she really changed her mind and said yes to me!

I was stunned for a while, staring at this news for a long time, the whole person seemed to be in an ice cellar, the only feeling was cold, even the tears were cold, across the cheeks, there was a burst of coolness, and my eyes were red in an instant, I am not a girl who loves to cry, on the contrary, I love to laugh, rarely cry, I used to want to experience what it means to cry. Now it's really experienced......

The thoughts seemed to be broken, chaotic, as if they were in another world. Although the special concern prompt of the mobile phone was still ringing, I didn't hear it, looking at the dark screen, as if a thread had broken in my mind, and I was clumped together, whimpering, and my heart was as uncomfortable as a knife.

It took me a long time before I regained my breath and stopped crying. closed his eyes, turned on his phone, and several unread messages were his.

XX: Why are you missing? XX: Are you busy with something? XX: Angry? I know you don't like her, and she won't be able to do it before I don't see you in the future. Don't be offended.

After a while,

xx: I'll play games with her first.

In an instant, tears flowed out uncontrollably, and he said that he would only play games with me..... xx, you are such a dishonest person...... I hate you so much, the number one in the world that hates you......

But who am I to question him?

This time, even though tears blurred my vision and wet the screen drop by drop, I still stubbornly finished typing and clicked send weakly.

Qiqi: Congratulations.

xx: Congratulations...... Sounds weird.

Qiqi: Then bless you.

xx: No, there's no need.

Qiqi: Hmm.

He didn't notice that I was using "you" instead of "you".

I'm a stingy person, I can't do it to wish you happiness, I can only wish you.

My eyes were hollow, my mind was empty, and I unconsciously hummed a song:

Night, night, in the lonely night,

angry, angry, angry with yourself,

Weak call, call again, to you,

I want to hear the air over there, what wonderful topics are there,

You are still gentle, give me, tactful distance

My voice is laughing, tears are fluttering,

Did you know on the other end of the phone,

If the world were so big,

Why should I forget you, there is nowhere to run?

My voice is laughing, tears are fluttering,

Did you know on the other end of the phone,

If the world were so small,

Why can't you hear my sincerity?

......

During that time, I was very decadent and embarrassed. I can't afford to dress up exquisitely, because I don't want to go out at all, I can't afford to read any novels or TV series, because I'm not interested.

The only thing I'm interested in is studying, because only writing homework can make me temporarily forget some of the things I want to escape, and devote myself to my homework, to escape the throbbing pain from my heart, which is called loneliness.

I hate to have nothing to do when I'm idle, because then I always think back to some interesting things about the past and xx, and then realize the current situation, which can't help but be more uncomfortable.

I deliberately didn't go to him, didn't look at any of the news he posted, and wanted to remove him from my life, in the eyes of outsiders, I was because I was about to be in the third year of junior high school, and I began to study wholeheartedly, only me and my girlfriend knew, that was just me running away.

At the beginning of the third year of junior high school, as the class president, I was very busy, and I was very busy with my studies. It's good and fits my needs perfectly. But there is always a shadow of him around me.

In this way, it lasted for half a year, and xx seemed to fade away in my life. Until a boy confessed to me.

That boy is a senior in high school, he studies well, and he looks very good, if he were to change to me, he would definitely agree. However, this time, I refused.

I myself was surprised, I don't know why I subconsciously seemed to refuse, is there a psychological shadow?

My best friend looked at me meaningfully, sighed, and said, "Because you haven't let go of some people in your heart." ”

I was stunned as if I had been struck by a thunderbolt, and the emotions that I had deliberately forgotten and hidden exploded, and I knew that it was not that I didn't love, but that I was numb, that I was used to it, and that I was unaware of it.

I never let it go, I just hid it in the depths.

I muttered to myself, "What the hell am I going to do? What exactly should I do? My best friend hugged me very distressed and said, "Go confess, and then you have a good chat, don't let this obsession stay in your heart forever, let yourself go." ”

I didn't know what I was stubborn about, and I insisted on refusing to confess: "No, he has a girlfriend now, and I will say now that I will be treated as a junior and dig the foot of the wall." No, no. ”

But my best friend forced me to look directly at her and said, "Look at me, what are you stubborn about, where is the girl who is not afraid of heaven and earth?" Is this still you? Or," her eyes were a little sharp, "You're just getting away with it, right, you think that as long as you don't confess and he doesn't reject you, you will always have a chance." ”

I don't know what to say, I just know, I can't say.

(To be continued)