One.

I've been with Fang Mu for nearly two months. Fang Mu seems to like Mosang very much, and she has to ask Mosang out every night to eat and walk together; Even if you are busy, at least sit together on the bench for a while; Mo Sang will always find a place where no one is there and get intimate quietly.

Sometimes we go to the library outside to read a book. But when you go and when you return, you will always be "blocked" by the wooden chairs on the path. Sitting on a wooden chair, the sun shines through the staggered branches and leaves overhead, and the spots of light shine on the body; The wind blew the branches and leaves, driving the light spots to flutter with them, like a butterfly of Yixian.

But there are always a few links that have been problematic - eating, mobile phones, benches...... These are all boring to Mosang!

Every time she eats, she almost goes to the second canteen, and she is always willing to eat Zhenzi noodles with a braised egg, while Mo Sang prefers to eat the rice of the third canteen. At least once in a while, she would have to eat something else, but she always didn't want to. Fang Mu said: "I have tooth decay that I haven't had time to fill, and I can't chew anything else." Because of this, she always complained to Mosang about her toothache. All this disgusted Mosang! Mo Sang once thought about taking her to have her teeth filled, but since she broke up twice, Mo Sang's feelings for her have changed, and Mo Sang is unwilling to invest in her.

What disgusts Mosang the most is that she always holds her mobile phone and chats with her friends, whether it is eating, walking, or sitting together; Included in the library, on wooden chairs on the path. And don't let Mosang see it. There is another thing that makes Mo Sang jealous - "What do you want?" "You have something on your mind! When Mo Sang was secretly sad because of the conflict with Fang Mu eating, Fang Mu would always question him like this. This reminded Mo Sang of the previous - "You actually don't like me that much......", "You have always been ready to break up......". It was no accident that Mosang had always thought that these words could be her excuse, even if she later returned. Especially after the night the two slept; Although Mo Sang felt sorry for her, she always felt that if everything she said and did that night was false, then she was really too powerful. Her eyes as deep as the sea of stars seemed to contain something that should not be underestimated!

And Fang Mu's interest in sitting on the bench with Mo Sang has not diminished in the slightest. In the past November, the temperature difference between day and night in Tianjin is larger, and you need to add clothes when you come out at night.

On this day, Mo Sang rushed back to the dormitory again and sent a report message to Fang Mu, Fang Mu also replied quickly, Mo Sang casually coped with a few words and lied that he wanted to write a report, and ended the chat early.

Mo Sang just sent out his mobile phone and wanted to eat some snacks. The mobile phone rang with the sound of WeChat messages, and Mo Sang was a little impatient when he heard it - "Oh, what's the matter!" ”

He thought it should be news from his mother. Because he doesn't talk to anyone about WeChat recently, only his mother always asks about how to use the functions of mobile phone software. Including QQ, Mosang has been with Lin Fangmu since he was together, unless he has something serious, he will not chat with other girls. It's not that Lin Fangmu is disciplined, but that Mo Sang is such a person, he has such an advantage, that is, because of this advantage, he has already offended several girls who like him.

"the object, you forgot about me!"

Mo Sang turned on his mobile phone, but he didn't expect that it was Tian Xinlai.

"How come, we are destined people born on the same day, the same month, and the same year in the same year!" Mosang replied.

Tian Xin met Mo Sang on Weibo, and at that time there was a Weibo account called MM that carried out a theme - looking for people who were born on the same day as him.

Actually, Mo Sang wasn't very interested in this, but he was really idle that day. So he rummaged through the comments to find people who were born on the same day as himself, of course, Mosang only focused on the opposite sex. Mosang found the year in the comments and continued to find the month under the reply to this comment. Mo Sang searched for the number 7, and various comments from people born on the same day appeared in front of him, from which he roughly selected the opposite sex, and entered their personal homepage one by one, carefully examining their information and blog posts.

Mo Sang is very patient with this process, especially those girls who have published blog posts with their own photos on Weibo, Mo Sang will first make a detailed observation of the photos, facial shadows, makeup, clothing, background, at this time he always has a kind of girl's persistence and seriousness for P pictures.

Finally, Tian Xin met his criteria. She has a blog post with a close-up of her face, which is a side photo with a black and white filter, with deep eye sockets, a straight nose bridge, three-dimensional facial features, and deep eyes. Another thing that intrigued Mosang was a blog post she retweeted, with the title "Me who won the lottery insulator!" This makes Mo Sang, who is also a winning insulator, very kind.

Tian Xin: What's my name? You've forgotten about it!

Mo Sang: Tian Xin, that's right! I was particularly impressed, "Little Sweetheart".

Tian Xin: ??? My name is Xin Tian.

Mo Sang remembered that when he was chatting, it was like this-

Mosang: Hey, we were both born on the same day, I saw you on MM's Weibo.

Tian Xin: What year are you from?

Mosang: 97, otherwise it's the same day!

Later, when they asked each other for their names, she said that her name was Tian Xin, and Mo Sang subconsciously thought of "Little Sweetheart", so she remembered it immediately.

Mo Sang: My name is Mo Sang, are you from the Northeast?

Tian Xin: Yes, Heilongjiang.

Mosang: Do you go to school in Tangshan?

Tian Xin: No, I'm in Harbin, Heilongjiang University.

Mo Sang: Oh, Heilongjiang University, it's amazing! I saw that you mentioned Tangshan on your screen name, I thought you went to school in Tangshan.

Tian Xin: I like Tangshan dialect, we have a Tangshan one in the dormitory, and listening to her talk is like singing, I think it sounds good.

Mo Sang: Yes, I'm from Tianjin, and our accent is similar to that of Tangshan.

Tian Xin: Xi Dada's mother graduated from our Black University.

Mosang: Hey, it's amazing!

Later, Mo Sang added her, and chatted every once in a while until the end of the summer vacation, and after the start of school, she didn't have much contact.

Mosang: You are talking nonsense, I clearly remember that it is Tian Xin, I remember it very clearly! "Little Sweetheart"!

After sending this message, Mo Sang immediately went through the previous chat history.

Tian Xin: "Check the chat history yourself!" ”

Tian Xin also sent a message asking him to go through the chat history.

Xin Tian: My name is Xin Tian.

Mosang: What about the surname Xin? Gain knowledge!

Xin Tian: Haven't you heard of Xin Qiji?

Mosan: Oh, yes, I forgot about him, haha.

Mo Sang was dumbfounded when he looked at this chat log, and then burst out laughing. Mo Sang thought in his head - "I really remember wrong! Xin Tian - how could I be wrong, I got it back! ”

Mosang: Hahaha, it's really hard.

Xin Tian: I forgot my name.

Mosang: I haven't forgotten, isn't that a reversal! I remembered that when I saw you say that your name is Xin Tian, I thought of the word "Xintian", and I thought it was very good—you are in my heart—and then I reversed it. Maybe it's because of the word "sweet" that I remember as "sweetheart" (田心).

Mosang: It's not because you're my little sweetheart, Tian Xin is so good.

Xin Tian: Pull it down, how vulgar!

Xin Tian: I don't fight with you, I can't talk about you, you are always reasonable.

Mosang: Haha, you still remember!

Xin Tian: The remarks are often reasonable, and they haven't changed.

There is something about remarks, in fact, Mo Sang has forgotten about it. But when he saw this sentence, Mo Sang thought of a screenshot of the chat history sent by Xin Tian and himself, and Mo Sang thought of what he had said to Xin Tian when he chatted before-"In the future, you will call me Chang Youli." "Because no matter what you say, Mo Sang can always say some truth, and Mo Sang rarely loses when arguing with people." Unless the other party is unreasonable, as long as he is reasonable, he will never be able to say me. After Mo Sang told Xin Tian this, Xin Tian changed Mo Sang's remarks to "Chang Youli", and Xin Tian also had a lot of experience in the later chat.

Mo Sang chatted with Xin Tian for a while, and thought that it was time to go and chat with Fang Mu, it was not okay to hang her like this. They chatted until the lights went out in the dormitory, and said goodnight to both of them.

Two.

As usual, Mo Sang went straight to the study room after class. He was reading Nanae Aoyama's "The Voice of Parting", which made him want to sleep because he wrote about some mundane things in life.

But Mo Sang can always feel that the scene described by the author is right in front of him, the appearance of the shoemaker, and the look of Wan Lizi are vividly displayed in front of him. And the parting at the end of each chapter has no deliberate emotional rendering, but it always makes Mo Sang empathize, and for a while, he can't help but be sentimental by the encounter that leaves no trace.

Fang Mu's life is not much the same as usual, but she is getting busier day by day, because the student council department has to attend regular meetings, write plans, and propose activities. When Mosang wants to enjoy the night together, Fang Mu usually has "business", and when Mosang is studying, it is time for her to express her thoughts after finishing her business.

Mo Sang also misses Fang Mu, but Mo Sang has a somewhat quirky personality, and he is unwilling to divide this time. His strict demand for time is particularly serious, which may also be related to his "perverse" and "rather scarce" personality that needs to be put in quotation marks. If he couldn't guarantee that he would have about two hours to study, he wouldn't go out of his way to the study hall, he would rather waste that time.

Fang Mu asked him to come out at about half past seven, and it was two hours before he returned to the dormitory at half past nine. But this time can be used to read, and it is used to date Fang Mu, which is not enough to make Mo Sang interested. Unless Mo Sang was already happy, or Fang Mu was just a friend he had just met, Mo Sang would give full play to his ability to act on the spot.

However, neither of these conditions is met. Mosang's passion always fades quickly, although the two have been together for less than two months, but for Mosang, he and Fang Mu have been "husband and wife for many years", and there are two "fights" experience. But he would still go to accompany her, and he divided his time in order to praise his admiration. But after the meeting, there was nothing to make Mo Sang happy, he couldn't eat the food he wanted for many days, and he had to endure her eating while chatting with her mobile phone, and complaining about her toothache.

The two walked to Fang Mu's dormitory again, Mo Sang wanted to go back to the dormitory as soon as possible, but he knew that Fang Mu didn't want to be separated. He did not hesitate to accompany Fang Mu to the bench and sit down. Fang Mu was always on Mo Sang's left, whether she was walking or sitting, whether she was closer to the road or not, and Mo Sang had given her habit a romantic color—"Because it's the closest distance to my heart, isn't it?" ”。 Mo Sang put his arm on the chair, put his hand around Fang Mu, and put the other hand in the pocket of his jacket. This made Mo Sang feel a trace of warmth, but this temperature could neither burn Mo Sang's heart, nor could it withstand the cold of the autumn night.

Mo Sang felt a cold current from the bottom up from the trouser leg to his whole body, without the slightest hesitation, firm and persistent like a fearless honey badger. The clothing has also been infiltrated bit by bit, and it has begun to take away the temperature of the body.

In the face of such cold, Mo Sang chose to stretch his limbs, tried to relax his body, closed his eyes, and tilted his head back. He wanted to fight against the environment, he always liked "evil governance", and later Mosang saw an article, according to the article, there are many people who are frozen to death on the street who have warm clothes but do not wear them, because when they freeze to death, people will have the illusion that they are very hot. This made him believe in the potential of the body and the spirit, and he remembered a sentence in "Skin" - "The flesh is for use, not for serving." ”

Fang Mu was talking on the side, and Mo Sang couldn't remember what he was talking about; Or maybe he didn't listen at the time, and he couldn't remember if she was chatting on her phone.

But since she was talking, she couldn't ignore her, Mo Sang opened her eyes, and at the same time, her body was also focused on sitting down. But the moment he opened his eyes, Mo Sang was frozen; Mo Sang was trapped, only his eyes were shaking.

He examined the scene before him. The golden full moon glows softly and brightly, echoing the staggered and withered branches in front of you. It feels so clear, yet indescribable, that it can only be certain that it is desolate that pervades itself; seems to be able to touch it, but it is also clear that you can only have a heart-to-heart relationship with "her"; But Mo Sang still took out the hand in his pocket, and the air instantly took away the temperature of his hand. "It's really a belly and back enemy!" - Mo Sang raised his hand to "her", and couldn't help but sigh.

Mo Sang said, "I admire you to look up." ”

Fang Mu also looked up at these. She said something that felt the same as Mo Sang and stopped reading it, but Mo Sang couldn't help himself.

Every time he encounters such a scene, he has the urge to die, which is related to this desolation, but the main reason is never this. "Probably only death is the closest thing to her." - he pondered to himself. He didn't know how to get closer to "her" and how to blend in with "her". If the facts had told him that he would have blended into the landscape by dying, he would have died.

Mo Sang was cold and said, "Let's go, let's go back, it's too cold." ”

"Stay a little longer."

Mo Sang let out a sigh and continued to sit, chatting casually, his body trembling uncontrollably.

"Let's go, let's go back, I'm cold." Mo Sang stood up, holding one of Fang Mu's arms with both hands and letting Fang Mu move.

"I'm not leaving, I'll sit down a little longer."

"Then I'm leaving...... Mo Sang said weakly.

"Let's go." There was no joking anger in Fang's tone, nor was it angry coldness.

Mo Sang turned around and left, and before he got out of the bench area, he pouted and turned around with a begging face, and said in an aggrieved and begging tone: "Let's go, I'm really cold." ”

Fang Mu smiled happily when she saw Mo Sang come back, and said, "Don't go." ”

"I'm leaving."

Mo Sang turned around and walked towards the dormitory, what he saw in front of him was the road under the dim street lamp, but what appeared in his mind was Fang Mu sitting there looking at him alone, and his own back. It was pitch black all around, there was no light, Fang Mu and the bench were so clear, and his back was so thin and cold.

Mo Sang returned to the dormitory and sat directly on the seat, he was stunned for a while, and immediately got up and went to the balcony to see if Fang Mu was still there. He remembered that he had advised a friend who had been cut off—"You're cold, that's right." But the temperature is there, and it doesn't discriminate. You're cold and he's cold, but he always asks you out, why? It's his pay! ”

Later, when Mo Sang recalled this incident, she could not remember that she was still absent at that time; It seemed that she was there, but she was ruthless and returned to her seat, probably saying in her heart - "You deserve it!" But as if he saw that she had gone back, he was relieved.

Fang Mu and Mo Sang broke up.

It's not a good world

One.

In the past, when Mo Sang read the text, he would always read "In autumn, the leaves have fallen off." Such a sentence. So Mo Sang always thought that the trees would be bare in autumn, so he never paid attention to it. I don't know when Mo Sang suddenly realized that even in winter, there would still be leaves on the trees.

It's December in Tianjin, and the temperature at night is already below zero, and every morning when you get up to class, you can see thin ice on the dead grass on the side of the road, and the only leaves on the trees seem to be frozen on it, even if the wind blows, it won't shake a little. But at noon, the sun is always burning fiercely, and if it weren't for the violent wind, I really wouldn't have thought it was winter.

Mosang had recently had the idea that he was going to write a book, and as for the content—he said, "I'll tell it out; My good, my evil, my jealousy of selfish love. I will write this twisted me without reservation and without scruples. The day this memory falls on paper is when I live up to it. ”

He had been on his own for many days in order to write a book. On this day, he finally couldn't bear the loneliness and called his brother to eat together.

Hu Chengen saw that Mo Sang had been playing with his mobile phone with his head down, and he was still laughing while typing. said: "Okay brother, stop talking, you always play with your mobile phone when you eat." ”

"Aren't I just telling her to stop talking."

Xiao Mu took over and said, "Aren't you divided?" Hook up with another one. ”

"What words! Friend! ”

Cheng En said, "Oh...... Pull it down, you bag. Where? Managed? ”

"It's not our school, it's from the Northeast, Hei University, Heilongjiang University."

Xiao Mu's eyes widened and said, "Far enough!"

Cheng En said: "Okay, yes, I'm still a scholar." ”

"What far and near! Tell you straight to your friends! ”

Cheng En listened, his face was full of disdain, and said, "Yes, yes......"

These two younger brothers were classmates in secondary school, and they were closer at that time, and later they discussed coming to this school, so they were called brothers. After breaking up with Fang Mu, Mo Sang was as single as before, as soon as the meal arrived, he would call his two younger brothers to eat together, and after eating, he would return to the study room. It's just that there is another girl who misses at the time of desolation, a past worth thinking about. But since he wrote the book, he has been alone, because eating with them is too slow and delaying his time. Mo Sang didn't want to finish eating by himself and leave first, so he preferred to eat by himself. This is also his "rather lack than abundance".

Mosang: Let's not talk about it for now, let's eat out with friends.

Xin Tian: yes.

Mosang: yes.

Cheng En asked Mo Sang: "Why did you break up?" ”

"Why did you break up...... Why did you break up ......" Mo Sang repeated the question, thinking about it incessantly.

"Is it because she's too clingy? No, she's not too clingy, I like girls who are a little clingy. It's because she always interrupts my time, always transmits negative energy to me, and always doesn't let me look at her phone. But it seems like it's because I don't love her enough, right? There's always my reason. Maybe I don't like her that much? Maybe I didn't like her anymore from the first time she wanted to break up with me, I was for my dignity, and ......" Mo Sang's brain popped up a lot of sentences, like a nest of snakes competing for a mate.

"Hey, don't ask, it's just not appropriate after all." Such an answer is always right, and they will no longer ask.

After the brothers finished eating, they walked around the school again, and then went back to the dormitory.

Mosan: I'm back in the dorm, sweetheart.

Xin Tian: Did you drink? Rest early.

Mosang: No, I don't drink on important occasions. If you can't drink alcohol, you can't cure hangover.

Xin Tian: Have you read Weibo?

Mosan: What's wrong?

Xin Tian: People who were born on the same day as us have a group, do you want it?

Mosang: Yes, you can invite me.

Xin Tian: There is a young lady inside, and the new members of the group are exposed.

Mosang: Hey......

Xin Tian: You can't blow up a photo?

Mosang: Amazing audience!

The first thing Mo Sang did after joining the group was to look for the opposite sex, which was the highest degree of compatibility between the subconscious and the main consciousness in his personality. However, he didn't add their friends at the time, let alone blow up the photos, and after interacting with Xin Tian in the group, he stopped chatting.

Mosan: Sleep, good night.

Xin Tian: Well, good night.

The benefit of netizens may be that "when you call, you can go when you linger". Usually Xin Tian chats with Mo Sang, but if Mo Sang is studying, he will not reply, and the same is true for Mo Sang chatting with Xin Tian. After nine o'clock, the two of them had nothing to do, so they talked until the lights went out in the dormitory, and no one complained if they needed to be interrupted. The two of them always talk freely, even on unobtrusive and intimate matters. This is also a benefit for netizens, the two know each other, but they don't know each other. They know a lot about each other, but they don't have to worry about a third person knowing, and they don't have to worry about being held in each other's hands, like an invisible diary that can talk with a mind.

Mo Sang mixed his days unremarkably, going to the study room every day to read and write, always alone; When I returned to the dormitory at night, I chatted with Xin Tian, and then listened to the song and went to sleep. On this day, Mo Sang and Xin Tian chatted and talked about things with Lin Fangmu.

Mosang: When I was with her, I once went out to eat hot pot, and when I came out and saw a dog, I forgot what it was, and I thought of a dog that had bitten me when I was a child, so I said to myself, "Kill you." Then, she said that I was scary, and at first I thought she was joking, but then she really kept her distance from me, and didn't let me hold her hand, and kept saying that I was scary.

When the word was typed here, Mo Sang's eyes opened violently, and there was a feeling in his mind that he had just woken up from a dream, but he didn't dare to believe it-"Did you also want to take the opportunity to break up at that time?" Mo Sang was surprised, thinking, he knew that this would not lead to results. With this message, he continued typing.

Mosan: And then I told her a story, something I had done. I told her that we had a little flower dog in our house before, and then a little white dog from the neighbor's house came to our house to eat and drink, and later gave my dog to us, haha. There is also a cat that has been raised for more than ten years, and gave birth to a kitten, because it is old, and it has been several years since I gave birth to one, and I want to keep it, because it may be the last one. Then one time I took the kitten out and put it on the ground to bask in the sun, and I saw that the dog smelled it and didn't mean to bite her, and I thought it knew something, so I went into the house. Then the little white dog played the kitten to death! Play! Die! Finish! I called the little white dog over, dragged his neck to the ground, picked up the brick and slapped him on the head, and after two strokes, the brick broke, and I saw that it didn't move, I thought it was dead, so I threw it into the garbage heap. Later, I found out that it was not dead, and it came to our house to eat, but it used to be cocked with its tail, but this time it was changed to a tail, I think it is quite pitiful, so I spared it, and continued to raise. Later, when the dog is in heat, it will be paired with our dog. Then, another neighbor of mine has a half-sized black dog, and he is also going to be our dog, so he pinched the little white dog and blinded the little white dog, mainly because it always poops, pees, and scratches the ground in front of our house, can I bear this? I squatted in the yard and hugged our dog and seduced the black dog, hahaha. As soon as the black dog came to me, I slowly walked to the door and closed the door, which is the legendary dog that closes the door, haha. After hitting it twice, it also became incontinent and got all over the place. I was so angry that I hit it harder, and splashed a few drops of blood on my face, and I saw that it was wilting, and I guess it was going to die, so I threw it in the garbage heap. Later, I learned that it was not dead, but it was afraid to be discharged from the hospital from now on. To say that this dog's vitality is strong!

Mosang: After listening to it, she said that I was terrible. I told her that I killed the little white dog because it killed my cat, and that I didn't have to kill it anymore when I learned that it wasn't dead. Even if it was bullied, I avenged it, why am I terrible? I'm going to kill that black dog because it keeps pooping and peeing in front of our house, and it blinds the little white dog, why am I so scary? That's a dog! It doesn't understand human speech, it doesn't understand human nature. The only bit of "understanding of people" it had was also trained by its more cruel ancestors in ancient times, and that just became its habit. Do pigs deserve to be eaten? Why don't you pity the pigs? The reason why dogs have not been bred as a mainstream food is simply because they are less common than pork; Scientists have confirmed that pigs have higher IQs than dogs!

Mosang: I told her that as long as she dared to hurt what I cherished, I would not spare it. Even if it's my own dog, if it dares to bite you or my future child, I will kill it. It didn't matter if it bit me, I had been bitten by my own dog, and I didn't do anything about it, so he let him look at my wound and smack them both in the mouth. But hurt what I hold dear, my loved ones, not good!

Mosang: But she can't, she says I'm terrible, and I don't allow me to hold her hand; As soon as I hugged her, she pushed me. I thought to myself, this is not good, I cried, I started crying when I thought about something wronged, and then I made her cry soft, haha.

Mosang: I was indeed wronged, especially after I cried later, when I thought of other things, I was even more wronged, and I cried together, which was called a joy. Hahaha, I can be regarded as killing two birds with one stone, crying back to her, and crying out of grievances. If crying can't be exchanged for benefits, it's really a vain affair.

Mosang: Do you think I'm scary?

Xin Tian: It's not scary. You're not taking it for fun.

In fact, Mo Sang couldn't remember Xin Tian's specific reply, but Xin Tian definitely agreed.

Mosang: Really, I didn't abuse it, oh my God, I'm so angry! I'm good for our dogs and cats!

Two.

Mosang: Then I'll tell you another story, can you see the horror, this is what happened after that, and it has something to do with her influence.

Xin Tian: Do you want me to think you're scary?

Mo Sang: That's right, I just want to see if you agree with this matter, and see your attitude. Because this matter is so unacceptable!

Xin Tian: You have low self-esteem, right?

Mosang: Inferiority complex is the driving force behind an individual's move from ordinary to extraordinary.

Mo Sang quoted this sentence from "Inferiority and Transcendence".

Mosang: However, some people have abandoned their inferiority complex and are no longer motivated; He may have thought he was open-minded, like some of my relatives. Listen to me, I haven't told anyone about this yet, it's a shameful thing.

Xin Tian: Hey, hey, it's starting again, it's always reasonable. One by one.

Mosan: Hahaha. I'll send it to you paragraph by paragraph, you just look at it, don't reply, don't ask questions, and when I'm done sending it, I'll tell you, and you can ask again.

Xin Tian: Okay.

Mo Sang: After that day, after a week, after the October holiday, I went home, and as soon as I opened the door, I saw a few stalls of dog shit in the yard, and then I was unhappy, so I cleaned up, and my dog followed me, (This is a new puppy coming in the summer vacation, the little flower dog and the little white dog before I don't know where to go, maybe someone stole the stewed dog meat.) I looked at it and it was longer than it was during the summer vacation, and I wondered if it was because it was too long to get out of the dog hole, so it was pulled in the yard.

Mosang: But it turns out that it's not, when I went back after throwing the shit, it didn't go through the gate, but drilled back into the yard from the dog hole, and I was angry at that time! I've been teaching him to outside during the summer vacation! Then I went into the house, our house is small, and the yard is small, so I don't get into the sun, which always gives me a cold and oppressive feeling. I've had this feeling since I was a kid, and when I was a kid I always liked to sit on the TV bench because it was close to the window and there was a little bit of sunlight. Now our family has sealed the terrace, and the house is even less sunny, but I like the terrace that is sealed now, my terrace is a broken bridge aluminum frame, all installed vacuum glass, including doors and windows, I always stay there, so I can accept it, it's a big deal not to stay in the house during the day. But it's not just cold and depressing, but also a smell of cat, which is really mad. I searched for cat poop and searched through all possible places but couldn't find it. I'm sure there is no cat poop, this smell is left before, cats that have been raised for more than ten years, I know this very well, cat feces and urine are the most smelly; It's okay to be less, it's been more than ten years, and I can't count how many times I've been urinated by it, and it will still smell when it's cleaned up.

Mosang: I was so angry that I hit the bed and wanted to rest for a while, but I was very irritable. I got up and went to the terrace, crouched next to the glass, and saw through the glass that our dog and cat were lying together. I remembered that Lin Fangmu said that I was terrible, and I asked myself - "Am I terrible?" I said I would kill my own cats and dogs, am I really that ruthless? Shall I give it a try? "But I didn't try, just to see if they were so ruthless to kill them, it was really unnecessary.

Mo Sang: After squatting for a while, the sun made me a little dizzy, so I got up and went into the house, and as soon as I stood at the door of the house, the oppressive and cold feeling swept over my body, and there was a smell of cat feces. It was really getting more and more annoying, but I deliberately tried to control myself and slowed down all my movements. I walked slowly into the house and lay down on the bed, but my mind was not idle. I said to myself, "If I kill them, how will I explain to my parents?" Throw it away after killing it and don't let them see it? "Then I suddenly made up my mind to kill them both; But I can't keep them from seeing it, I must let them know that it's time for them to get to know me! Then I thought how to kill them both - "Strangulation? No, it's too painful for both of them, it's too long. Chop off your head, it's not painful, it's a matter of a moment with enough strength. But it's going to spurt blood, right? Where to kill? Killing in the kitchen will be full of blood, and killing in the courtyard is even worse, you still have to kill in the kitchen, at least you can wipe it clean. Do you want to put it on a cutting board to kill? If you put it on the cutting board to kill, the cutting board will be dirty, but if you don't kill it on the cutting board, the kitchen knife may curl the blade and the table will be chopped, so you still have to put it on the cutting board to kill. They will definitely struggle, and they can't press them with their hands, in case they break if they chop on their hands. Wrap them both in duct tape? Well, that's it. ”

Mosang: After I think about it, I will start wrapping them with the tape and scissors, and after thinking about it, it is better to wrap the cat first; This cat is smart, she might run away when she sees me wrapping the dog, so wrap it up first. After wrapping the cat, I started wrapping the dog, and just as I was about to start wrapping, I heard the sound of the car door closing, and I thought it was my dad coming back - well, let him see! It's impossible to stop me! I was thinking about it when I heard my mom talking to my aunt. I reacted, and on the way home, my mother called me and told me that she was going to pick grapes with my uncle and aunt. He also asked me if I was going, and if I did, he would wait for me. It looked like they were back, and it was too fast, so I stopped. And then I thought to myself – "Am I going to stop?" It's too late to remove their tape. "I thought, I didn't think about what to do with them, my hands didn't move. The dogs were halfway wrapped in duct tape when they came in.

Mosang: It seems that my aunt said it first, or it may be my uncle, I have the impression that the first two sentences are the voices of the two of them, asking me what I am doing, my aunt is curious and a little joking tone, my uncle is the kind of tone that is a little aware of the bad things, very calm, but it seems to be a little "Stop!" "Feelings. Yes, it should have been my aunt who said it first, and then my uncle, because his tone made me angry, and his tone made me feel that he was stopping a madman; I was impressed. He flicked my left shoulder, and I knew I couldn't chop them both up, but I couldn't stop there, and if I did, it would mean that I wasn't "formed" yet, and they would think I was just rebellious, or some kind of childish behavior. I'm sure that's what they thought at the time, that's what I'm going to change, and I don't want to wait. Being a child in the eyes of these self-righteous guys will make me unable to transcend my inferiority, and eventually end up like them, deceiving myself and giving up my inferiority complex in order to make a living. They think that their lives are happy and open-minded in the face of life; In fact, it is because they have never pursued the capital of a better life. They asked me to study hard, but they told me to find a suitable job and go to work steadily, not to find a girlfriend who is too beautiful, to find a poor family condition, so that she will not dislike me, and now I am looking for it in school, preferably from other places and poor places, so that she will be very content to stay in Tianjin...... That's what they conveyed to me!

Mo Sang: I cut the tape, grabbed the dogs' throats with my right hand, stood up and examined them, and it was actually Wei Xinyi (my uncle's daughter, my sister. Also, her eyes were silly, and there was a hint of horror, and she hadn't said a word since she entered the door. I actually let her see this, and it didn't hurt her; But I didn't hesitate at all, and I can only continue to do it now, leaving her with a ruthless image, which is better than the image of a childish ghost. My mom was roaring, her face was hideous, her mouth was grinning unnaturally, and she was holding a yellow wavy head that was over her shoulders, she was a complete shrew, she looked like this! It's not the first time I've seen her like this, but it still makes me angry. My aunt's voice was not loud, and her tone was a little cold, but I could tell that it was kind persuasion, and it seemed that she was still trying to keep her tone gentle, but ...... There seems to be something else, like pity for the madman? Or is it helplessness for bastards? My uncle didn't say a word when I examined them, but his eyes drove me crazy. That look couldn't be more familiar, the time I was blown away by my grandfather, my uncle was this look, full of contempt, like looking at a person who had committed a great crime, there was no trace of kindness in this look! I asked him coldly—"What kind of eyes do you have?" He didn't respond, and I screamed at him, and he still looked at me like that. And I took out all the anger he had given me on my right hand. Yes, give! In the past, I would not hesitate to return this anger to him, but I don't know when I learned to restrain my anger and switch anger, so the anger he caused me was given to me. I know when to vent my anger and how to vent it. I looked at the dog in my hand, I heard my mother still growling, the old aunt's voice seemed to have some crying, the old man's tone was stiff and urgent, he said I was crazy, hum hum ...... I don't forget who said it—"I only go home once in a few weeks, what are you doing!" That's it when you get home! I said, "I'm just at home, I'll be fine if I don't come home!" My old man said, "Then why are you coming back?" I'm here to come back! I smiled contemptuously and winked at my mom and said, "Isn't that what they miss me?" "You don't know, although I was smiling at the time, there was a roar of anger in my chest, they wanted me to go home, but they let me go back to such a home! It smells!

Mosang: Then my mom told me to get out, look at it, how ridiculous and irrational. They kept asking me what I was doing, and I said, "I'm going to kill them!" Then he asked me why, and I said, "I just want to kill!" They kept shouting for me to let go, and I said, "This is a dog!" I screamed and asked them why they were holding me back, but they didn't think about it. This reminds me of the concept in "The Rabble" - "Crowds are irrational. "I felt like my hand was going to run out of strength, so I threw it up and kicked it away; It can still run, and at the time I thought it wouldn't die, and I was quite unwilling. My mom rushed up, I didn't know what she was going to do (but it was clearly going to hit me), and I pushed her away. Guess what she said? - "I'll hack you to death!" "-unimaginable, right? And then she actually went to get the kitchen knife, hahaha, how sad. And they stopped her and persuaded her. I craned my neck and shouted, "Come, you kill me!" "- Seriously, I was scared at that time, she, the one who dared to cut her wrists, who dared to put a kitchen knife on her neck, must have killed me on the spur of the moment. For two or three seconds, I saw that she didn't have a chance to kill me, so I grabbed the cat, threw it, kicked it and flew to the door, it was estimated that it was about five meters, and I chased after it and kicked it three times in the head, and it was dead at that time.

Mosang: My mom came running to arrest me again, really, making me angry! Because cats and dogs are going to cut me? Or are you going to cut me because I pushed her? If it was the latter, then why did she come and arrest me at the time? Now they come and arrest me again, I guess they were both to beat me, it's too irrational! I pushed her away again, I had to push her away, things have come to this point, and now compromise is all the work done! As long as I do all this, as long as I have the upper hand and let them know my determination, and when it comes to the stage of talking, let them know me, I will be able to live the life I want!

Mo Sang: She fell straight down, and even knocked down a pot of flowers. They're rubbish enough to let her fall. My old man came and pushed me and pushed me out of the courtyard gate, I thought he was going to hit me, I was ready, I clenched my fist, my arm kept trying to raise it to hit him, but he didn't hit me, and I controlled my arm.

Three.

Mosang: My mother seems to have fallen and injured herself, they mixed my mother into the house, my uncle stayed in the yard, I also went into the yard, took a look at the cat, confirmed that it was dead, and went to look for the dog, but I didn't find it, I think it ran away. I said, "It's over, the dog has run away!" Hum! I looked at him, and I was sure that my eyes were disdainful, and my mouth was smirking.

Mosan: At this time, I heard the sound of the car door closing again, and I guess I can't be wrong this time. Sure enough, after a while, the uncle, who was working with my father, came in first, saw the cat with a bloody mouth at the door, and asked me what was wrong, and I said it was okay. My dad came in, and my uncle said, "Then I'll go first." (How sensible!) My dad replied with an "yes." He told me to take the cat and bury it, and went straight into the house. "Ah, isn't that the end of it! Why are you holding me back? I mentioned the cat and thought it was so hard that I threw it in the garbage and went to the kitchen to wash my hands.

Mosang: When I came back and entered the house, I looked at their solemn expressions one by one, my dad was calm, but he also thought about the anger buried in it. My uncle is still like that, that disgusting look in my eyes, but now there is a little more of it, it seems to be - helpless! My aunt is really crying, but there are not only tears in those eyes, she and my uncle are really more and more "husband and wife"! Wei Xinyi still looks stupid. My mother sat on the armrest of the sofa, her face was red, her face was full of tears, her eyes were full of grievances, and her right hand kept massaging her left hand, it seemed that her left hand was injured. As the focus of so many eyes, I couldn't help but sneer.

Mosang: I thought that if I had passed this level, the next step would be to talk. But during the conversation, there was a small episode, my dad blew me away, and my uncle chased me back. I talked to my uncle first, and we talked a lot, so I'll tell you a few words about what I value. I asked him if he could afford me, and he said that he looked down on me now, and I cried, and I didn't laugh, but I laughed in my heart, and I laughed and cried, because he really answered me seriously, and it was ridiculous. He probably thought he was looking down on me and making me sad. I was also angry and cried, because I really cared that "he looked down on me". Because I looked down on him, but he also looked down on me with self-righteousness, so I was angry. It used to be, but he probably didn't even know that he looked down on me, one was that he never looked at himself in this regard, and the other was that he treated me like a little kid.

Mosang: Another sentence is that I asked him what he thought of my aunt saying in a disgusted tone that he couldn't even afford a car with air conditioning in the back seat, and I asked him how he felt when he heard my aunt's words. He said he didn't feel anything, he thought his life was happy, oh my God!

Mosang: Another sentence is, I asked him - "Let you say, is my dad mature?" It's been better in recent years, but was he mature before? He did that, he said that! Is it ripe? "He had nothing to say! This is the knowledge of the younger brother to the elder brother!

Mosan: I told him, "Don't think I'm playing tricks, I'm very rational, I know that someone will chase me before I leave, otherwise I'll still be there to fight with him." ”

Mosang: When I got home, I forgot if I had the meal first or if I talked first. I remember my dad seemed to bring me food, hahaha.

Mosan: The main goal of the conversation was to make them recognize me, and they always thought I was a child. I agree that I'm not mature enough, but some things are stereotyped, not immutable, but unwilling to change. I just have this life, I just need a way to live, whether it's good or bad, I have to go on. And I don't think there is anything easy to follow in this life, except for some rich second generations. I told them that I was different from them, that I had my way to go, that they couldn't control me, that I only accepted advice, not opinions.

Mosang: The road is blocked and the long beard is happy, and it is not painful to lose and cowardly!

Mosang: That's it.

Xin Tian: You're done, it's a lot.

Mosang: If I told you the details of the conversation, it would be more!

Mosang: Is there anything you'd like to ask?

Mo Sang looked forward to Xin Tian having some questions, hoping to get something that he hadn't realized before, and learn from the past.

Xin Tian: What kind of life do you want?

What kind of life do I want? Mo Sang asked himself this question repeatedly in his head, he actually had the answer, but he felt abstract, and he couldn't think of how to say it appropriately for a while. He thought about it for a while, and decided to say a rough idea.

Mosan: The life I want is a bit ethereal, not that it's unrealistic, but I don't know how to achieve it, but it's very real, because it's absolutely achievable. I was at least sure that what they wanted wasn't what I was after, so I did.

Xin Tian: But you can actually do not do it, there is always another way, you are a bit ......

Mosang: Radical?

Xin Tian: Pretty much.

Mosang: It's okay, I don't regret it at all, I don't feel heartache at all.

After casually saying something unnutritious, Xin Tian said that he was going to sleep. But Mosang is still unsatisfied.

Four.

"You're going crazy, aren't you? What are you doing? He spoke first.

I couldn't help but laugh when I heard this, and of course, it was my idea to laugh at them. "If I kill a dog or a cat, I'll be crazy?" I asked him disdainfully.

"If you kill, you will kill, what is your attitude with your mother, with your uncle and aunt! You bastard you! "Seriously, I'm really worried that he's going to be, his blood pressure must be high, and his whole face is dark red.

That's why I was stunned for a few seconds, but in such a tense environment, a few seconds are almost a moment.

But my heart can't be soft, or maybe my heart is hard enough to be soft at all. Especially his words make me angry, and they are those foolish and filial things, which imprison the mind; I am not a "filial son" like their brothers, their filial piety hurt their own father and was reluctant to spend the money to take care of his illness.

——That day, two days before Mosang's grandfather died, flashed through Mosang's mind.

- Orange Smog Warning! Although I know that the so-called "orange" does not refer to the color of the haze, the sky was indeed orange that day, no! It's air, and you can't see the sky at all. I was standing in front of the window, and there was a dark shadow in the orange not far outside, why did such air go out? Did I go out and call him? Was this concern something I had at the time? But I can still remember the feeling of breathing at that time. I felt like I was opening the door and calling him, and the filthy air irritated my nostrils and throat.

- The brain is really powerful, and it is inextricably linked in a flash. After Mo Sang recalled in detail the past contained in that moment at that time, he pulled back his memory and continued to recall.

"What's my attitude?" I smiled disdainfully and lowered my head, "What is their attitude?" I snarled and pointed around their faces, "What's your look?" I pointed to my old man's face and shouted. My dad yelled "You bastard!" "Rushed over and slapped me, it was not a light slap on me, but I was sure he didn't do it, I wanted to say something, but it was already a little difficult for me to open my mouth again, I hummed and laughed, massaged my face a few times, and gently punched my right cheek with my fist, trying to straighten my chin.

"Hum hum...... "My momentum must not be lost, and failure often begins in the minutiae." I felt that my mouth was fine, I opened my eyes, tensed my facial muscles, and spoke in a soft, sonorous tone, "Am I a bastard? Then I may have been a bastard since I was a child, I didn't understand the grace of fertility since I was a child, you gave birth to me that was your business, I didn't ask you to give birth to me, this world is not beautiful. When I was in elementary school, my teacher asked me to write essays, write about the grace of childbirth, thank my parents or something, I never could write it, I don't think there is anything to be thankful for, this world is not beautiful! ”

"I shouldn't have given birth to you, should I?" His expression also changed slightly, and he should have a little disdain in the face of this "bastard remark".

"I really shouldn't." I think my eyes are determined, and I want communication.

"Then get out! I won't support you anymore! I don't need you to be grateful! His eyes lit up. It's really ridiculous, this sentence is really too brainless.

"Hmph......" His words were so ridiculous, I naturally wanted him to know his naivety, "I have to support me when you give birth." ”

"You're 18 enough, you're an adult, and I've done my duty! Fuck off! This sentence is even more ridiculous, and it makes me very angry.

"Hmph...... Gotcha! ”

I was going to say something—

I would say, "Have you done your duty?" What did you give me for eighteen years? Nested in this broken village, with no car, no house, no savings, raised me to eighteen and let me go out and suffer by myself? I begged you to give birth to me? When you decided to get married and have children, did you think that you were qualified? Do you have that capital? ”

But I don't think I'll say it, he can't be calm, he's too self-righteous, and his thinking revolves around those foolish filial piety and his ordinary life. More importantly, I'm afraid it's going to him off!

I must not have thought about it so much at the time, but I still thought of some decisive and correct ideas, so I made the right decision. This time I annotated this memory again, and this will be my wisdom in the future!

- Thinking of this, Mo Sang covered his head with the quilt and couldn't help but smile proudly for a while before continuing to reminisce.

I tried to turn to the right to get my phone, my body was already moving, but my brain stopped me - "Forget it, whether I really say goodbye or walk back from the steps they gave me, I shouldn't have my phone with me." There is no need for money, and now to get the money will let him catch the conversation. I immediately turned to the left, and my brain stopped me again—"Am I going to take off this dress?" Forget it, there's no need to ask for it. "But this time the pause shouldn't be very noticeable.

After walking out of the yard, I was faced with the question of whether to go left or right again - "There are more people walking to the left, and fewer people walking to the right, so there is no need for other people to see the joke." ”

"If they think I'm going to go home on my own, should I go to work or die? Let's take a look. ”

- Mo Sang is very proud of these correct decisions made in a short period of time!

After walking for a distance of 500 meters, my uncle drove after him, and I looked at him and thought how ridiculous these people were. Want to talk? So what was your previous toughness?

Five.

"Alright, let's stop here, don't waste gas."

"Are you stimulated by something outside?"

Hahaha, I seem to be a little stimulated, because Lin Fangmu, but I don't seem to have ...... He said that "stimulated" should refer to my irrational behavior. But I'm very rational!

"No, if there is, it has been accumulated over so many years."

"That's still freezing three feet, not a day's cold." It's a bit disdainful, really- is it a reason why I haven't accumulated so far? Or do you think it's just a little kid saying something unashamed?

"Can you afford me?"

"I look down on you now."

I couldn't help but "hum" when I heard this, but the tears also flowed down almost at the same time. Seriously, I was aggrieved enough, I turned my head away, trying to control not crying too much.

"I have low self-esteem, can you see it?" I asked him a little choked up.

"Hmm." He was sure? Hahaha, can he see that I have low self-esteem? I guess that's what I just saw!

"Uh-huh...... I have low self-esteem, and I am very inferior! There are two kinds of people with low self-esteem, one is inner inferiority, and at the same time, they also show inferiority. One is low self-esteem, but acting particularly confident. I nodded at him with an eyebrow raised.

Seeing that he had nothing to say, I continued: "This world is not beautiful," I looked out the window, on the left was the unfinished building slab, next to a barren meadow, on the right was a dilapidated car wash, next to a scrap disposal plant, in front of a ruined restaurant, and in the distance was a barren farmland, all of which looked particularly bleak and dilapidated under the reflection of the setting sun. This is my home! "What do you say?"

"You're too pessimistic......"

"Okay, okay," I interrupted, I really didn't want to listen to the mainstream thoughts, the so-called healthy thoughts. "Do you think you're happy right now?"

"Happiness."

"Happiness, hum......" I can't help but laugh, this is my mockery of him, and it is also the self-deprecation that I know the answer to ask.

"Do you remember the last time we went out to play, whether it was Xin Yi's birthday or going to the park to play, my aunt said in the car: 'The back of people's good cars is air-conditioned, and you don't have the ability of others.'" Remember? How do you feel? ”

"How do I feel? I don't feel anything, it's good to be like this now. I should have laughed at that, too, but I couldn't laugh, and it touched me.

Maybe he's really happy! But I can't, I can't, I said, "I don't compare with other people, it's not that I don't care, it's just because I know that I can't compete with others." In my head, I compare myself to others all the time. ”

When thinking of this part, Mo Sang deliberately amplified the volume of his own words in his memory.

"I don't need him to say anything or do anything, he just needs to go to that station, and I am like an X-ray machine, looking him through from top to bottom, from the inside to the outside, counting the places where I am not as good as him, and then keeping it as natural as possible."

- Mosang recalls the conversation at that time, thinks about it in his head, and vents to the other Mosang who is listening! He roared in the darkness before him! Squeezed out two tears before continuing to remember.

"If it were me, my wife would say something like that to me, and I would be ashamed. I would never let her say such a thing. I don't have any big ambitions, and I know how many pounds and taels I have, but I will never be as willing to do this as you and my dad do. ”

I thought I was biased and I thought I should add more.

"I'm so important that I don't even need her to say anything like that, just a little tone of her voice when she mentions someone else's life, the look she looks at someone else's car, is enough to drive me crazy. I'm paying attention to all this all the time! ”

Saying this, I remembered some of my inferiority complex when I was with Jiang Yuyan, and there was a piece of meat in my chest that was cramping.

"Are you tired of living like this?"

"It's okay, I'm tired and used to it." I smiled, smiling proudly.

At least I had an inferiority complex — and now that I think about it, I should have been proud of that. I didn't know what I was proud of.

- Mo Sang answered another question for himself, and couldn't help but smile happily.

"Do you thank my grandpa for giving birth to you?"

"Thank you, although they are not rich people, but they have given me love and taught me how to be a human being......" he said solemnly, and I also listened to every word. However, he confused the grace of fertility with the grace of nurturing.

"I said before that I never approved of the grace of fertility, and this is not nonsense! I really can't understand it, I can't agree with it. "I looked at him, and he looked at me, and he didn't call me a bastard like my dad, maybe because my dad said it.

"There is no meaning for people to come into this world, people are just the product of selfishness, the whim of their parents. Like my parents, are they ready for me when they want me? I was just an accident! My dad wanted to beat me off, but my dad didn't agree! Hmph, speaking of which, my dad is still reliable, but he is too filial! Hum hum ......"

"Think I'm a jerk?"

"What a bastard!"

"Hahaha...... I don't have the right three views! But I also know 'filial piety', but I will never be 'obedient'! I will do my duty, and I love them too. This is not contradictory to the fact that I do not agree with the grace of procreation, I did not ask them to give birth to me! I know it doesn't make sense, but it's the truth. It's not a good world, but if I could make a decision, I would never be here. ”

I kept looking at him, and I thought my eyes must have been very determined.

"Just a family like mine? Well? It is said that home and everything is prosperous, do you know that our family is not compatible? They don't usually talk much! My dad and my mom used to fight, and they fought so badly! And my mother, her little grumpy, she also killed herself! I despise suicide! I sighed and looked out the window, "That's the family!" I'm stupid and crazy, I like this kind of life? ”

"Especially......" I turned back to look at him again, "let you say, is my dad mature?" Is he ready to give birth to me? Well? When I was younger, after the fire, everything in my house was burned down and there was no heating. He can't even save face by borrowing money to secure heating! It's so cold that my legs hurt when I get a little cold now! What he has said and done, is he mature? Let your own brother say, is he mature? It's been a little better in recent years. ”

He looked at me without saying a word, and his eyes were a little shaken. Hahaha, what is this? Agreed? Then my dad's brother is really a failure!

He answered a phone call, it was from my grandmother, and the electric car broke down on the road. He said that there was a possible cause of the failure, and asked her to check it herself, but it didn't seem to be. His tone had been a little impatient, and I really wanted to ask him again - "Is life happy?" ”

"It's commonplace, isn't it? Aren't all old people like that? ”

- At this time, Mo Sang, another listening, was thinking about the opinions of most ordinary people in his head.

"Oh? Are all old people really like this? I've seen too many old people who aren't like that! The images of those old men and old ladies flashed in the mind of Mo Sang, who was telling, "Moreover, their impatience is also sincere, isn't it?" Especially these two daughters-in-law. Even though they're — they're still presentable. ”

Six.

When I got home, everything looked so normal, I looked into the kitchen, she was cooking, I went in and looked, her back was facing me, and she didn't mean to say anything. When I entered the house, I saw him standing in the living room, as if he was about to walk out. His demeanor should be considered cold. He refused to look me in the eye, and I raised an eyebrow as soon as I missed it. Listening to the conversation between his brothers, my grandmother also called my dad, and the two of them were about to pick up my milk together.

I heard my mom enter the house, presumably after cooking. When I went to the house where they lived, I saw my mother sitting on the edge of the bed with a look of grievance and decadence. Was I a little soft-hearted at the time? I remember being aware of the problem, and then I controlled myself not to relent. Maybe I was still a little scared at the time, she was full of resentment and depression.

I was talking to her about something - by the way, I saw that her left palm was bruised, I asked her about her condition, and she asked me to give her a "tincture to reduce swelling and relieve pain". With this bruise, I said that she was too uncalm. What else? I told her what she was supposed to do; I told her why I did it; I told her that I only accept suggestions, not opinions.

When they came back, he went into the house and turned to go out, and called me to dinner. I agreed, and quickly took advantage of this time to ask the old man what he had said to him, but the reply I received was nothing, and I raised my eyebrows.

Yes, he did give me food, I'm sure, I remembered.

Having eaten is the real highlight, the real war! Hahaha.

"Dad, let's have a good chat."

That's pretty much what I said at the time. Was he reading the newspaper or playing on his phone? I took a breath and spoke. He didn't cooperate much, and actually disdainfully asked me what to talk about!

What did we talk about? What are you talking about—ah, yes! He told me to go and see if the dog was dead. I thought he had run away, but he was lying on his stomach in the kennel, and he was already hard, and he looked like he had been dead for a while. I took it and walked towards the garbage dump, wondering how the cat could have hardened so fast. Because old? Oh, by the way, it probably has something to do with me wrapping it in duct tape, and it's like it's hard to hold.

"I said that I never knew anything about fertility, this is true, and I am not a fool, I am very rational."

"Hmph." He actually hummed, hahaha......

"Shouldn't we have given birth to you?"

"I really shouldn't! But since I was born, I will do my duty, and I have you in my heart......"

Before I could finish speaking, he interrupted me.

"I don't need you to do my duty! Let you do your duty! That's how you do your duty? Hit your mom? And last time, you even dared me to push! Is this called having us in the heart? ”

Do I have anything to refute? What can I refute? - "That's because you're so uncool!" "—Did I say that? I guess I didn't speak. Hmph, "you", this word is really tongue-twisting! Yes!

- Mo Sang clenched his fists, his facial features were all squeezed together, he was going crazy! This is the obsessive-compulsive disorder he left over from his childhood because of his big tongue. After relieving himself and trying to relax his spirit, Mo Sang continued to think.

"You are still pointing at your uncle and aunt, and you are also pointing at me, what are you doing, who are you pointing at!"

"I didn't mean anybody! That's what I mean. Do I walk behind my back? I put my hands behind my back and clasped them together, "I hate them, they look down on me, you know!" ”

What else was talked about? He asked me, "Then what you hate the most is me and your mother?" Because we gave birth to you! He asked me, "How do you feel about killing it?" It's been more than 10 years, and I can't get started. He also said to me, "You're fit to be a killer!" ”

Alas, I really don't want to think about it anymore, it's not nutritious, it's too unnutritious! Huh-huh......

How did the conversation end? Can't remember. I went back to my room to watch TV, and after a while my mom came to talk to me.

"Am I radical? I'm so calm. Besides, let's not talk about anyone, you're going to cut me. ”

"I hate them! Just last time, when my grandfather died, the day before the funeral, we were at my aunt's house, I said let Wei Xinyi study hard, and I said that I would rely on Wei Xinyi in the future. What did my aunt say? And started educating me! It's the same as the real thing, what kind of person did you think of me! Well? Really treat me as a soft rice! Am I leaning on her? I'm kidding, you know? In her eyes, I just can't hold up the wall with mud! She didn't take it as a joke! What happened to me with my finger on her? Even you, you educate me! You think I'm serious, too! Well? And going out to eat, how many times have I said don't teach me how to do it at the dinner table! ”

"He hates him the most, what kind of eyes does he have? Full of contempt, it's not the first time I've seen that look! When I was a child, my father bombed me home because of a dog. That dog is going to bite me! I hit it a few times, and I didn't use any force at all, it was just the joy of its calling! My lord will bang me! My uncle was there at the time, and he looked at me with that kind of eyes, and that was the look of a wicked bastard! Just because of a dog! As soon as I saw my uncle's eyes, I remembered my uncle, and it was funny that I didn't scold him! ”

"That's it, I hate my master! away for a dog! Also, what do you and my dad say that my dad and my milk hurt me the most, my God! My grandfather was in the intensive care unit, I went in to see him, and I couldn't help crying as soon as I saw him; I still endured it, I was still afraid that he would be excited, and I also told him, I said don't get excited, take care of something. Guess what he told me? Ask me if Xin Yi is here! It's only a few minutes! Within a minute of me entering, he came up and asked me if Wei Xinyi was here! As soon as Wei Xinyi came out, what did the nurse say? He said that the patient was more emotional when he saw her, and he had to sit up enough to reach her before he came to her. When he sees me, he's calm! Maybe they didn't even want to see me! ”

"It's not just them, my second aunt is good enough to me, right? I hate him too, can't I think of it? Hahaha......"

"No, no, no, I just hate! I know they don't mean to be how they do it a lot of the time, but I just hate! That's what I am! I gritted my teeth when I thought of what they had done. It's just that I'm not going to retaliate; I will work hard, try to make money, try to succeed, try to surpass them! ”

"She's good to me? Don't be stupid, it's just a courtesy exchange between you concubines, and Wei Xinyi and I are just pedals. ”

"Apologize? Okay, I apologize, but what do I have to apologize for? ”

"You just say, why should I apologize!"

"Elder - oh my God! Okay, I'll be pretended. ”

"Yes, I'm just serious and suspicious, I've been like this since I was a kid - I ask you, have you ever cheated? I remember when I was a kid, how old I was, when I was in elementary school, you always cried on the phone in the house by yourself, I asked you, and you didn't tell me! I don't know what you're talking about! I was so angry at the time, I always thought you were cheating! It's just crying to your lover. You say how dirty my heart is, right? But do you feel my suspicion of you? Didn't you? How deep do you say my city is? My heart is heavy enough! ”

"Well, if you say I'll believe it."

"No, no, no, don't be stupid - it may have been a little bit of an influence when I was a child, but then I didn't care about it at all - I don't know why, maybe I was born with no value for friendship, there is nothing I can't give up, it's just that I never realized this before—otherwise I would have questioned you at the time, didn't I?"

"Do you say my dad is mature? He couldn't even talk to me calmly! It's been better in the past few years, but I didn't know it before, so I didn't think I was ignorant before. I asked my uncle, and I asked him, 'Let you say, is my dad mature?' He didn't say anything! My brother has acquiesced! ”

- When Mo Sang sorted out this memory, his face unconsciously restored the way it was at that time, his eyes were staring straight at him, and his mouth was not very hard, but there were also two teeth tightly next to each other.

"Remember, don't treat me like a child! I've got my way to go! It's not easy for anyone to stop it! I'll live for myself all my life! ”

"Well, I don't want to be like my dad and my uncle, just like this, living like this, being looked down upon by my wife and children! In this kind of place for a lifetime, it is reasonable to not even be able to afford a suite! ”

"That's the best, you remember, I only accept advice, not opinions! Remind me to be careful when I go, and tell me how to go! ”

"It's good, I like her. Didn't you say I had fewer acne on my face? I checked on the Internet, one is endocrine, and the other is mood. When I have something in my heart, I have acne on my face. As soon as I got along with her, the acne on my face went down. Later, when she went to military training, I had acne again, and as soon as she came back, I was fine again. ”

- After sorting through these memories, he felt that there were a few questions worth thinking about.

Why the hell did I kill cats and dogs? That's not a perfect answer! I see, I don't have a problem answering that, I say I'm going to kill them! Just to explain to them my values, they are just cats and dogs, no different from other meat creatures that are slaughtered, and if they try to understand the life of a cow and know how much grief is involved in the production of every drop of milk they drink, they will know that I am not cruel at all!

I'm - Mosang wants to sum it up better - rational!

There is also a deviation regarding the aspect of my family's incompatibility.

When I was a child, he would always throw her on the bed, and then she would call me: "Take care of your dad, come and save your mother...... In my memory, I first thought they were fighting; I ran over and saw him pressing her to the bed, and I stood by like a fool, secretly afraid; If I was smart enough, I might have a plan on how to save her, but I don't have that impression. Later, I saw that it was their joke, and then I understood that it was their taste. And then - they really didn't get along!

But I never tried to correct my views as a child, even though I already knew what was going on. If I talk about things when I was a child, I would only think that the family at that time was very harmonious, but I never corrected my subconscious, every time I think about the home I lived in since I was a child, I always think that my family has always been discordant!

- Mo Sang has such a problem, as long as he has something in his heart, he has to say something to himself before going to bed, let the other self ask him questions, and help the other answer himself. Close your eyelids, look at the darkness in front of you, and think back to the past. There is no limit to the time and events that can be traced back to this past, as long as it is remembered in his mind, it will be tossed out by him one night. This can be described as a vicious circle with his "heavy heart".