Now my spirit is not as good as before, and I am afraid that if I continue like this, I will really have a nervous breakdown.

I was dressed in goose yellow plain clothes, dragging vermilion without powdering to depict my forehead, and let the green silk shawl fly.

I didn't let the minions follow me, and I came to the empty hall alone, and there was not much change in the hall, and the candle incense was still all over the hall.

The white mist enveloped me all around, as if I had stepped into a fairyland.

I looked at the empty hall, and Master Jinghui was not there, so I waited in the sub-hall......

His gaze wandered over this empty hall, and finally rested on the bottle of Maitreya Buddha, which seemed to be more amiable than before......

I took a few steps forward slowly, I lifted the hem of my skirt and knelt on the cushion, closed my palms lightly, closed my eyes and bowed respectfully to Maitreya Buddha.

After three knocks, I heard a few light footsteps coming steadily, and I slowly opened my eyes to look at Master Jinghui.

At this time, she opened the brocade curtain in the inner hall and stepped out, her right hand still holding the string of prayer beads, and her eyes had a smile that soothed my soul.

"Madame is here." As if she knew I was coming, she politely bowed to me.

"Master Jinghui, I think, I need you to relieve my heart demons."

I still knelt on the cushion, my eyes deeply focused on hers, and I pleaded sincerely.

She knelt on the cushion with me, looked up at Maitreya Buddha, and now kowtowed respectfully three times before she stabilized her body and said eloquently.

"Since you want to untie the heart demon, you must untie the heart knot now, can you tell the poor nun what are you thinking at this moment?"

"Today, the decree of canonization of the queen has come, it is the decree I have been waiting for for a long time, but I am not happy. At that moment, I thought of your words, Master Jinghui, and even more inexplicable sadness. ”

"Sad for what?"

"I don't know, it seems to be heartache, the love for which I was once willing to give everything now seems to be only indifferent, he no longer loves me, only the last - the guilt of indebtedness. I have been secretly telling myself that I must be firm in my own steps, I should go forward and never look back, but today I found myself retreating, I dare not move forward, in the midst of the contradictions, I thought of Master Jinghui, I hope you can untie the knot for me. ”

There was confusion in my voice, and even I didn't know why it was happening......

Maybe I shouldn't have stepped into this empty hall in the first place, and I shouldn't have talked to her about so many things that are not humane to outsiders.

"The poor nun can untie the knot for his wife, but whatever the result, the lady must bear it bravely."

Her tone changed from initial indifference to earnest and serious.

I hesitated a little when I heard what she said, but finally I bowed my head, "I'll bear it." ”

After a long time, she took a deep breath before she said, "I remember when you first came to Concubine Zixian, the poor nun was a little surprised, you asked the poor nun why he knew you, in fact, the emperor will come to Kongmingtang once a month, in addition to his country, he talked about the most - a woman, called An Huaixin." So the poor nun has already heard about you like thunder. Three years ago, when he first met the poor nun, he talked about his wife, and he said that for the sake of the society and the stability of the people in the world, he must sacrifice his beloved woman to complete the great love, and this great love is the common people and the people in the world.

If you want to unify the world, the first thing to do is to stabilize the dynasty, but the prime minister of Xia Cheng covered the sky with one hand, and the emperor at that time was very passive when he first ascended to the throne, and the military power in his hands was not completely consolidated, and he completely relied on the human and financial resources of the Xia family and the outlying islands. At that time, he didn't have the strength to eradicate Prime Minister Xia's family, so he had to plan with peace of mind, what he needed was time. There is no way, he can only slowly break them one by one, and the first thing to deal with is Xia Guifei at that time, so he ruthlessly used Mrs. You and the most important person to you at that time, after saying this, he shed a few lines of tears for this, and knelt in front of the Buddha for seven days and seven nights, and has been regretting everything he did to you at that time.

It was the first time I had seen the great emperor so fragile in the sky, and I was moved, so I chose to enter the palace and live in the Kongming Hall, all because I wanted to get rid of his demons. He was in the middle of power, so he lost his nature and did many cruel and heinous things. However, this is the emperor, and the helplessness and struggle are beyond the comprehension of ordinary people. ”

My heart was shocked, I was shocked by kneeling in front of the Buddha for seven days and seven nights, no one ever told me about it, and I didn't know that the original weak whole body gradually tensed up, thinking about that scene in a daze, often kneeling for seven days and seven nights and regretting?

Master Jinghui glanced at me calmly and gave me a long time to calm down before continuing, "In the past three years, every time the poor nun has preached Buddhist scriptures to him, so that he can get rid of his cruel nature and learn to forgive. For an emperor who does not even have the only tolerance is not worthy to ascend to the throne of God.

He has a high level of understanding and learns it quickly, so he has figured out a lot of things and wants to go out and find you. But about a year ago, he was in a state of confusion in front of the poor nuns, because he had killed his wife's children with his own hands. That night, his eyes were bloodshot, and he kept telling the poor nun that he didn't mean it. He genuinely wanted to treat the son of your womb as his own child, he didn't expect your hand to pull his arm so hard, and he didn't expect him to push you to the ground without controlling his strength for a while. I think that the only person who can make this emperor lose his square inch so much is you, Madame. ”

My hand clenched and loosened, released and clenched, and her words kept repeating in my head. I know how guilty he feels about me, and it is precisely because I know his guilt about me that I used this guilt to go my own way in the harem, and I got him so tolerant of me, didn't I?

What is the difference between me today and him back then?

I laughed tiredly, "Can a sentence that is not intentional be able to shirk all the responsibility?" Originally, I could have been a mother, I would have a child to be a mother, but because of him, I was infertile for life and lost the opportunity to be a mother forever. ”

She was stunned, and the calm sunlight gradually turned to compassion, "Madame is infertile?" ”

I smiled self-deprecatingly, "It's pathetic......"

She let out a long sigh, staring thoughtfully at the curtain, as if pondering something, and then nodded, "A woman, if she has no children, no lover, no relatives, and no trusting person, is really a very sad thing. The poor nun could finally understand why Madame had such a deep hatred. ”

I bowed my head gloomily, clasped my fingers, and used a great deal of strength to suppress the hatred and sorrow that burst out of my body......

Master Jinghui, who only heard it in his ears, muttered, "Amitabha!" Then she got up from the cushion and circled around me.

Even so, the poor nun hopes that his wife can take care of the world, and not ruin the world for her own selfishness, and then she will only fall into the abyss of bottomless self-blame. Madame lost herself in hatred, and the poor nun believed that Madame was simple and kind by nature, otherwise, she would not have been so pitied by the emperor. ”

I closed my eyes, and what came to my mind was the images that disturbed me so late at night that I couldn't sleep. Chunrui, Xiao Yiran, Xiao You, Mrs. Ya, Yeluhuan, Zhitao, Chunlan, Xinyue, Yeluqi, Mrs. Qi, Concubine Lian, Shen Jieyu, Liancheng Si...... Everyone's face flashed over and over again, turning rapidly.

We suddenly opened our eyes, only to feel that the cold sweat on our forehead had slid down our cheeks, "Master Jinghui, tell me, what should I do?" ”

She was silent for a long time, as if she was hesitating, but in the end, she still spoke, "It's the fate of the world, and the world is down." ”

"What is Master Jinghui talking about?" I was stunned, trembled suddenly, and asked.

"Only in this way can Madame be liberated." She respectfully bowed to me deeply, "There are some things that Madame must bear, not for herself, but for the world." ”

I straightened my stiff body, got up slowly, and looked at her with sad and ridiculous eyes, "Why, to set the world, to sacrifice women?" ”

With that, I turned around and walked away, without looking back, walking quickly, gradually moving away from the Kongming Hall.

When I wandered through the path of sheep's intestines, looking at the willows and green smoke, the water ripples, and the debris scattered in my hair, I reached out to catch the little catkins, and suddenly I stopped my pace, how could Master Jinghui have the courage to say to me, 'The dust is worldly'.

It's Xiao Jincheng, it must have been him who instructed Mrs. Jinghui to say this to me, the beautiful name is 'for the world', but in fact, it is still for his own selfishness, and he asked me to give up everything through the mouth of others, and now he wants to deal with me like this?

If that's really his purpose, then I can't let it go.

I threw down the catkins in my hand, I turned around and walked towards Kongmingtang, if I guessed correctly, Xiao Jincheng must have been in Kongmingtang at this time, and he had hidden behind the curtain and heard everything.

Now that he's heard everything, I don't have any more concerns. There are some things that you have to solve yourself......

I tiptoed into the small courtyard of the Kongming Hall again, and as I expected, there was a faint sound of conversation inside, and I quietly hid behind the stone pillars outside the Kongming Hall, listening intently to the voices inside.

My heart gradually sank to the bottom, and sure enough, it was the voice of him and Master Jinghui.

I didn't expect that this was another premeditation, Xiao Jincheng, you deceived me again!

I leaned feebly against the stone pillar, a self-deprecating smile on my lips once again.

Actually, the stupidest woman in the world is me. I'm still so conceited that I think I can fight Xiao Jincheng. I'm really not as good as him......

"But the world is in the world, why do you want to say this to her?" Xiao Jincheng's voice was mixed with a strong anger.

It was also after careful consideration that the poor nun said this. Your Majesty, the poor nun saw Concubine Xian's heart, which had already been scarred by human wounds, and this was her only way out. ”