She sighed tiredly and was silent for a long time, "Has the donor ever done something that she regrets to this day?" ”

When she mentioned the word 'regret', Xiao Yiran immediately appeared in my mind to accompany me to catch fireflies, and nodded with a sad voice.

"Yes, I think of him as my best friend because he can make me happy, make me laugh and understand me better. I gave him unconditional trust and trust, but he reciprocated me with betrayal, and he hurt my dearest. So I hated him, and I chose to blame him, and in the end he died, right in front of me, and that moment of hatred vanished, and was replaced by that remorse. To this day, I still can't let go, and no one has been yelling at me and protecting me at the same time. ”

"Do you still have people you hate?"

"Yes." I hung my head gloomily, and my clenched fists slowly relaxed.

"I used to love him, and he loved me too, but he was the one who hurt me the most, and I couldn't understand why he wanted to use me to achieve his goals since he loved me, and he knew that I was not in good health, and he wanted to push me away, and now my child was miscarried, and he deserved to say that he loved me? Hurting me and using me in the name of love, is this love? ”

"And now, how do you want to get revenge?"

"He said that if I like it, he will cut off half of the river for me to have fun with! That's what he said, and it has to be delivered, doesn't it? Now I like this country, and I want to play this half of the country. ”

I said this with a sarcastic smile.

"Even if you don't play this half of the country, what about after that? Is it revenge for the child? Will you be happy? Her hand suddenly clenched mine, and it was warm, almost warming my cold heart.

"Does Madame know? When you say this, your eyes are blurred, complex, and contradictory, and you know that your heart is also struggling. He just wanted to say that with the previous regrets, he should learn from his previous regrets and should not make the same mistakes again.

There is no greater pain in the world than two people who love each other to hate each other, this tortuous and complicated road do you really want to solve with blood? Kill the love that was once in the vicissitudes of life? After strangulation, you will regret and blame yourself as you did back then, this is what you want? Hurt others, but also hurt yourself? ”

I looked stiffly at her lips and opened them, and my hands clenched into fists again, "No, he can't forgive!" He did so many things that I can't forgive! ”

The word forgiveness is so simple, but now that I'm so stumped, it's impossible for me to say forgiveness!

When she heard this, her eyes were filled with compassion, and she held my hand with a little more strength, "Why bother to bury hatred in your heart all the time, why don't you try to forgive?" In this way, you can be your original self, so that you can be liberated. ”

"But I can't find an excuse to forgive him......"

I let out a faint laugh, the voice made me feel confused, is this laughter?

Now I can only laugh like this, the original wanton publicity, the old bustard who was in the limelight in Jinyunlou is now like a soulless waste.

"Madame, as you know, is now in full swing, the surrounding situation is grim, the momentum is like fire and water, and a big war is about to break out. And Madame, despite the crisis at this time, still creates chaos for the emperor and wants to destroy half of the country, do you know how much of a threat this will cause? How innocent are the people, does the lady know what great love is? ”

Stunned, I got up from the cushion on the elastic seat, "Master Jinghui is serious, An Huaixin is a woman with a bad reputation, how can He Deke subvert the whole country?" The current emperor is a wise lord, he is not only smart but also very capable, isn't he? Anything that is valuable to him, he will be desperate to use it, is he still worried that he can't win the little Khitan? ”

"Madame seems to have a deep prejudice against the emperor."

Realizing that she was deliberately guiding me, I glanced at her lightly, and became a little wary, "Master Jinghui is a monk, I believe that he is not a man of many words, you will not spread the words I talked to you about today, right?" ”

I waved my dusty robe, straightened my placket, looked at her sincere gaze, and gradually let go of a hanging heart, and turned around and walked towards the outside of the empty hall.

"Poor Ni looks forward to Mrs. having time to come to Kongming Hall to sit again, Poor Ni wants to relieve your demons."

Hearing her voice behind me, I didn't pause, still taking a few steps forward. The corners of the skirt brought up a burst of dark dust, which was a little pungent.

I don't understand why I said so many hidden words to a person I met for the first time, because of her melancholy but soothing and compassionate smile that led me to her...... But when I say it, my mood is indeed much better, and I am no longer as confused and panicked as I used to be.

I left the Hall with a heavy heart, and continued to walk slowly on the verandah in the palace, wandering slowly.

I don't know how many turns, but I still stay on the verandah of the East Palace and don't know where to go, as if I have forgotten the way back to my bedroom at that moment.

My steps suddenly stopped, my mind went blank, and I stared fixedly at the vermilion stone pillar beside the verandah, and the words of Master Jinghui seemed to be planted deep in my mind and hammered on my heart.

I can't help but ask myself if I really lose half of Xiao Jincheng's current country, will I really be happy?

I don't know, I really don't know, I just know that I hate him, I hate him for cheating on me, I hate him for taking advantage of me, I hate him for killing my children with his own hands, so I want to take revenge on him.

I know that this country is the most important thing in his heart, so I will destroy his most important thing, just as he destroyed my most important thing.

In the past six months, I have been cultivating my own forces, so that I have enough ability to ascend to the throne of the queen, so that I can have more capital to confront Xiao Jincheng.

I don't believe a word of what he once said, I am only allowed to sit in the back seat, and others are not qualified. When I said this, I was still a little moved, but after a long time, my identity can finally match, and there is no longer the previous obstacle, but he has not moved for a long time!

What, regret it? Hehe, I sneered, even if I regret it, it won't help!

Since he said that only I can sit in the back seat, then I must sit on it, and whoever stands in my way, I will let her disappear.

But thinking of what Master Jinghui just said, I hesitated a little again, I want to ignore the people for my own selfish interests?

Yes, now that the war between the Southern Dynasty and the Khitan is imminent, what I want is to take advantage of the situation to become more chaotic at this time, better cultivate my own forces, and take the opportunity to eliminate the ministers who are unfavorable to me in the DPRK, but I didn't expect that this would be a disaster for the country and push the people to a place of misery.

Am I really blinded by hatred? Since when have I become the 'scourge water' in the history books that has brought disaster to the country and the people?

The first time, I asked if what I had done in the past six months was really wrong? Me, am I really doing something wrong? No, I'm not wrong, should my child be damned?

"Niangniang......" Ning Xiang looked at me who was standing still, and called me softly.

I came back to my senses gloomily, and realized that I was really out of shape now, so I was busy sorting out my chaotic mind, and gathered the white brocade silk back cloak on my shawl, ready to pack up my chaotic mood and return to the temple.

However, before he could take a step, he heard a whisper from another corner of the verandah.

"This time Mu Tianyan won a big victory, the emperor seemed to be very happy, listening to Gonggong Li, the emperor seemed to intend to give him the position of prime minister."

A low, delicate murmur came like nothing. "If he really sits on the position of prime minister, then the Mu family will be in power, and this virtuous concubine will inevitably have more momentum, and it will be sooner or later to become the queen!"

Another steady woman's voice also wafted.

I heard that one of the voices was Wu Jieyu, and my lips drew a shallow arc, and I slowed down towards the corner, listening carefully to what they were going to say next.

"Queen? Hum! A sneer, "I also want her to be pregnant with a dragon, if she is pregnant with a dragon, she may not have the life to give birth to a prince, she is still far from the queen's position." ”

"I've heard that this virtuous concubine is the original An Huaixin, the princess of Zhenbei, but the emperor loves her, so he concealed her identity as a fugitive concubine. Judging from the current degree of the emperor's favor for her, just wait for her to give birth to a dragon child, and justifiably make her the queen ......" Wu Jieyu relaxed her voice a little anxiously, "Now that Concubine Xian is in the harem, she is dominant, and Mu Tianyan has more support for her in the imperial court, if she becomes the queen again, I am afraid that we will not have a good life!" Don't forget, there used to be rumors about An Huaixin outside, if this kind of woman really became a queen, we wouldn't have a good life, so we must find a way to stop her......"

"You don't have to worry about this, she has a close relationship with Mu Tianyan, and she often has private contacts, we can use this matter to make a big fuss...... For example, there was an adulterous affair between Concubine Xian and Lord Mu...... You also know that if she is really at ease, then this kind of woman emperor will definitely suspect ......"

I listened to them talk about me and Tianyan with great interest, and when they were still complacent about thinking of a clever plan, I had turned around the corner, and I was greeted by a beautiful lady with fragrant sideburns and clouds, delicate eyes and jade, and a smile in the wind, elegant and noble Wu Jieyu.

I stepped on a tired step and said calmly with an undulating voice, "When planning and calculating others, it is best to see if there is anyone around you first. ”

The smile on the faces of the two of them froze, and they looked sideways at me Yingying walked towards them, their faces turned pale.

It took them a long time before they came back to their senses, and one by one they knelt on the ground, trembling and said, "The concubine sees the virtuous concubine."

"How dare you accept such a big gift?" I walked up to them, my voice was still the same, and I lowered my eyes to scan the two people on the ground who were already in a cold sweat, "What did you hear in this palace just now?" Who is said to have an adulterous affair with Lord Mu? ”