Three months ago, Tianyan was ordered by the emperor to start an unprecedented war with the Khitan generals on the border between the two countries.

I heard that a few days ago, there was good news, and Tianyan returned to the teacher victoriously.

The emperor said to me that as long as Tianyan returns victorious this time, he will be named prime minister.

Now, he has really won, and what the emperor said will be fulfilled.

Count the days, and today should come.

I heard Ning Xiang say that if you climb the 'Xianglan Mountain' of the East Palace, you can have a glimpse of Shengjing, and you can just watch Tianyan's army enter from Jinling City.

I really wish I could see him at first sight, and that I could let go of my hanging coins when I saw him safe and sound.

This time he invited himself to go on the expedition, I don't agree, he is only seventeen years old, and he has never fought such a big battle of beacon fire, how can he match the Khitan general who has experienced a hundred battles?

However, my objection had no effect, and he said that it was the duty of the husband to rise and fall the country, both to protect the country and to win a game, because he needed greater power to support me on the throne of the queen.

In the imperial court, headed by General Zhao, he has always opposed me as the queen, and he keeps saying that I am a red face and a troublemaker, not to mention that I still have nothing to show and cannot be a mother in the world.

In the past six months, the Zhao family and the Mu family have changed from their original relatives to enemies, and they have been divided into two major factions in the imperial court, one side supports me and the other side suppresses me.

But their eyes were fixed on my stomach, but my stomach didn't move at all for half a year.

In fact, as early as half a year ago, I had learned from the mouth of the imperial doctor that my body was extremely weak, and coupled with the miscarriage, I was already infertile.

I didn't give him permission to pass on the news, and I can't let him get it out.

The sound of nothingness spread through the empty valley, and I couldn't help but retract my thoughts and listen. It took a while to recognize that this sound was the sound of a wooden fish tapping, and I wondered in my heart, how could there be the sound of a wooden fish in this desolate place?

"Ningxiang, did you hear anything?" Afraid that I would mishear, I asked about Ningxiang, who had been standing beside me.

"I hear you." Ning Xiang nodded, and also saw my doubts, and explained to me in a loud voice, "That's the Buddha sound from the Kongming Hall, and the famous Master Jinghui lives in it. Three years ago, the emperor ordered someone to invite her into the palace and give her the empty hall. ”

"Master Jinghui? Why did you invite her into the palace? "It's the first time I've heard about it, and I'm very curious.

"The slaves don't know, I just know that the emperor will do it once a month, and he stays for a day and a night."

Worship the Buddha in the Buddha hall for a day and a night? This doesn't look like what Xiao Jincheng did, when did he believe in Buddhism?

"Take the main palace and take a look."

With three points of curiosity and seven points of doubt, I walked down the mountain with Ning Xiang, the smoke was everywhere, and the green mountains were twilight.

We followed the crisp sound of wooden fish all the way, and it took a lot of effort to find the location of Kongmingtang.

The weeds outside the hall are untended and slightly desolate.

Ning Xiang led the way, we walked into the small courtyard, where clusters of budding white orchids were enjoying the warm sun, and the rich fragrance lingered in the nose. In the middle, there is a vegetable garden surrounded by an open field, and the green vegetables in it are blooming. Many grains of rice were sprinkled outside, and many sparrows and yellow warblers pecked at the rice to eat, and all these scenes were the same as ordinary people's homes.

I suddenly felt as if I was in a paradise instead of a cruel and bloody harem, quiet and peaceful.

"What has the benefactor come here to teach you?" An old woman's voice woke me up in a state of euphoria, and I looked towards the source of the voice, where a nun, who was nearly sixty years old, was holding a rosary in her hand and smiling sadly.

"Are you Master Jinghui?" I also stepped forward, bowed respectfully and saluted, it seems that I have not been so respectful to anyone for a long time, in the harem it has always been others who salute me. Somehow, I also had a sense of reverence when I saw her.

"It's the poor nun, who doesn't know who the benefactor is? How could this happen again? She always kept that gentle smile, as if she hadn't seen such a sincere laugher in a long, long time.

In the harem, all the concubines and slaves flattered me, with a flattering smile, and over time I thought it was the so-called laughter.

But when I saw her today, I found that the laughter in the world can only be called laughter with her expression, which is really clean.

"She's a virtuous concubine." Ning Xiang stepped forward and revealed my identity.

A look of surprise appeared on the nun's originally calm face, and she looked at me from head to toe, and then nodded with a smile, "It turned out to be Concubine Xian!" ”

"Master knows me?"

She didn't say a word, but invited me into the Kongming Hall, where a huge Maitreya Buddha made of gold was placed, with sesame oil enshrined in front of the Buddha, and a faint candle incense was permeated all around.

Master Jinghui and I sat cross-legged in front of the Maitreya Buddha on two goose-yellow cushions, while Ning Xiang stood outside the hall and waited. The hall was surprisingly quiet, but it didn't make me panic.

In the past six months, when I was alone in the dormitory, how could I feel that someone around me was staring at me, so no matter when and where, I had to accompany me and talk to me more.

Otherwise, as soon as the surroundings are quiet, I will be cranky......

Madame's brows furrowed from the moment she stepped into the Kongming Hall, which showed that there were thousands of things in her heart. And Madame's hands are always clenched into fists, which shows the uneasiness and fear in your heart. ”

As soon as I heard her say this, I realized that my hands were really clenched into fists, and I hurriedly let go. I smiled a little uncomfortably, but I saw that Maitreya Buddha, who was originally smiling, suddenly glared angrily at me and glared at me fiercely.

I had a cold shudder, my heart pounding and racing, "it...... Why are you looking at me so fiercely? He asked with some trepidation.

"Donor, please close your eyes......" She didn't rush to explain, just told me to close my eyes.

I closed my eyes as if I was fascinated, and then I heard the sound of wooden fish knocking into my ears.

"Tell the poor nun who was the first person you saw?"

"Madame." I blurted out. What comes to mind is that night when I strangled it with my own hands with a three-legged white silk and threw it into the dry well with Shibamo.

"Now, who do you see again?"

"Shen Jieyu." As soon as the picture turned, the poignant scene of Shen Jieyu shouting wrongs in Biyue Palace suddenly flashed.

It was I who bought the palace maid around her, and put the phantom spirit powder in the tea she drank, as long as she drank it, she would hallucinate in her mind, so she used to abuse the palace maids and eunuchs around her many times.

"Anything else?"

"Concubine Lian!"

Concubine Lian was picked off her tendons and tendons, and she said sadly that I have grievances, I want to see the emperor...... She was covered in blood and dragged on the ground.

"Why only think of them?"

"I'm the one who harmed them."

"Why do you do harm?"

"Avenge my sister. Back then, Concubine Xia, Shen Jieyu, Mrs. Ya, and Concubine Lian put my sister to death with a stick, and I wanted to avenge her. ”

Many years ago, in the Xinyue Palace, that bloody scene broke into my mind again.

I begged them to spare her on my knees, and their cold sneers, and the blood handkerchiefs that I always kept......

"Madame, please think about happy things......"

"Nope."

"Madame's wish now."

"Nope."

"You can open your eyes."

We suddenly opened our eyes, picked up the sleeve and wiped our forehead, only to find that the sweat had already soaked the sleeve and stained a large patch.

I couldn't stop gasping for breath to calm the panic in my heart, I really can't remember everything that happened just now, "Master Jinghui, what did I just say?" ”

But she smiled silently, and raised her hand to the bottle of Maitreya Buddha, "Look......

As she pointed out, the fierce Maitreya Buddha I had just seen was gone, and it was still the Maitreya Buddha who was kind and smiled at me.

"Why is this happening?" I calmed down my panic and asked.

"Caused by demons." Her hand kept stroking the beads, and her expression was extremely serene, "I remember that three years ago, the emperor stepped here for the first time and said the same thing to you, 'Why is it so fierce', just like you, you are also trapped by demons." ”

"What is a demon?"

"Hatred, greed, delusions, obsessions make you lose your nature as a human being, you have desires, ambitions, but deep down you are struggling with contradictions. You are afraid, confused, panicked. The two are mutually exclusive, so it leads to your current demons. ”

She spoke my inner thoughts to the point, my fists clenched tighter, and cold sweat gradually oozed from my forehead.

"How can I get rid of my heart demons?"

"Abandon the distractions in your heart, let go of hatred, and stop confusing and panicking, so that you can be your true self again."

"Let go of hatred?" I sneered, how easy it is to say, how can I say that I can put it down?

"Impossible, nevertheless."

She sighed tiredly and was silent for a long time, "Has the donor ever done something that she regrets to this day?" ”

When she mentioned the word 'regret', Xiao Yiran immediately appeared in my mind to accompany me to catch fireflies, and nodded with a sad voice.

"Yes, I think of him as my best friend because he can make me happy, make me laugh and understand me better. I gave him unconditional trust and trust, but he reciprocated me with betrayal, and he hurt my dearest. So I hated him, and I chose to blame him, and in the end he died, right in front of me, and that moment of hatred vanished, and was replaced by that remorse. To this day, I still can't let go, and no one has been yelling at me and protecting me at the same time. ”

"Do you still have people you hate?"

"Yes." I hung my head gloomily, and my clenched fists slowly relaxed.

"I used to love him, and he loved me too, but he was the one who hurt me the most, and I couldn't understand why he wanted to use me to achieve his goals since he loved me, and he knew that I was not in good health, and he wanted to push me away, and now my child was miscarried, and he deserved to say that he loved me? Hurting me and using me in the name of love, is this love? ”