Chapter 124: That Guilt That Can't Be Eliminated
After arriving home, Su Xiu was still crying, Su Jin felt guilty about the uncontrollable behavior just now, and didn't dare to lose his temper with the child, but no matter how she coaxed Su Xiu, it was useless, and she even cried to the point of hoarseness.
Looking at her daughter whose eyes were red and swollen from crying, Su Jin hugged her distressedly, and lowered her voice to comfort: "Don't cry, it's all Mommy's bad, I shouldn't murder you, forgive Mommy, okay?"
"I don't want it, I don't want it!"
Su Xiu twisted her small body in her arms, trying to break free.
"Is it good to be obedient, Mommy only has you, I really don't want to lose you."
She hugged her daughter, who was struggling violently in her arms, and her voice suddenly choked.
She felt guilty in her heart, she couldn't give her daughter a complete family, she couldn't let her live with her biological father, but she really couldn't let Xiuxiu leave her, she didn't want to experience the pain of losing her sister again, then she would want to die desperately.
"Why...... Why can't we live with Dad? ”
Su Xiu, who felt Mommy's low mood, gradually calmed down, but still cried very sadly and asked Su Jin.
Su Jin didn't know how to explain to her daughter, but she hugged her harder, tears gushed out uncontrollably, and she said softly in her daughter's ear: "Mommy loves you, more than anyone else, so even if you are not with Dad, I will let you enjoy the same love as others."
"But Xiuxiu really wants Dad, Mommy......"
The little child also began to panic Mommy's sudden fragility, stopped crying, and sobbed.
Su Jin was silent for a while, sighed, thought for a while and said, "Didn't you want Uncle Jiang Xiu to be your father before, and when Mommy marries him in the future, he will be your father, okay?"
"But he didn't really ......"
"Mommy is so tired today, let's talk about this later, okay?"
Su Jin interrupted her daughter's words, in this matter, she really couldn't explain to a five-year-old child why it was impossible between her and Jiang Sinian.
Five years ago, she felt that the two of them must be together because they loved each other enough, and there was no flaw in that relationship, so when she realized that the love she had was not as perfect as she thought, she chose to leave ruthlessly.
But now, she is not the innocent girl she was at the beginning, if the problem between her and Jiang Sinian is just whether she loves or not, she may be able to choose to compromise for the sake of her child, but what actually hinders her is the deep guilt in her heart for her dead sister, once she felt that she would only feel happy when she was with Jiang Sinian, but after her sister died, she told herself that if that was the case, then she would not be happy for the rest of her life, only in this way could she alleviate a little bit of guilt for her sister who lost her life at a young age.
Unless her sister comes back to life, that guilt will never be removed from her heart.
……
Xiuxiu, who had been crying all afternoon, finally couldn't resist the sleepiness and fell asleep, Su Jin carried her back to the bedroom, went to wash her face, and then greeted the nanny and went out.
She made an appointment with Jiang Xiu at noon, and now she will go and explain to him that no matter what the result is, she will definitely leave Kyoto in the next two days.
She went to Jiang Xiu's law firm first, but the little girl at the front desk told her that Jiang Xiu hadn't come to the office for several days, and every time she called him, she didn't look very good, and she asked Su Jin suspiciously: "Did you quarrel?"
Su Jin smiled, dealt with a few sentences casually, and after leaving the office, after thinking for a while, he still took a taxi to Jiang Xiu's residence.
When she arrived at her destination, it was completely dark, but Jiang Xiu didn't seem to be at home, so she had to linger by the street lamp outside the apartment, waiting.
But two hours have passed, and she still hasn't seen Jiang Xiu returning home, her legs began to ache a little, but she didn't retreat at all in her heart, thinking that Jiang Xiu was waiting for her like this until late at night that day, she didn't dare to have any resentment.
As she leaned into the streetlight and fell asleep, she was awakened by the sound of men and women laughing.
Raising his hand to look at his watch, it was already half past eleven in the evening, and a man and a woman were staying in front of him.
The woman is charming and charming, the man has an excellent demeanor, affectionately holding the woman's thin waist, those ink-like eyes are drunk with alcohol, dyed with a little lust, and look at her with some contempt.
Su Jin looked at Jiang Xiu in a daze, and then looked at the woman beside him, the corners of his mouth stiffly pulled up a trace of arc, swallowed the fishy sweetness in his throat, and said warmly: "Jiang Xiu, you are back."
Jiang Xiu stood in front of her with the woman in his arms, looked at her silently, and did not answer.
Su Jin felt a little embarrassed, the smile on the corner of her lips was still reluctantly pulled upward, and continued: "I gave you a message during the day, I want to talk to you."
"Talk?"
Jiang Xiu smiled, not as gentle as before, with a little evil charm and a little contempt for everything, that reminded her of the first time she saw Jiang Xiu in the Jiang family, his smile and eyes now were exactly the same as then.
"It's a pity I don't have time right now." Jiang Xiu raised his eyebrows, pinched the chin of the woman next to him, and said with an evil smile in his smile: "I also have something to talk to my baby."
The woman giggled at her words and shyly reached out and patted him on the chest.
Before coming, no matter what Su Jin had, she didn't expect to see such a picture, she took a deep breath, and still didn't give up and said, "I want to talk to you today, can you give me a chance."
"Okay!" Jiang Xiu kissed lightly
Kissed the woman's cheek, turned his eyes to her, and said with a flirtatious voice: "Why don't we talk to the three of us together?"
"Oops, you hate it!"
The woman who understood what he was saying exclaimed, her hands patting him alternately.
Su Jin's face was also red with anger, she never expected that Jiang Xiu would say such shameless words to her, her voice gradually became cold: "If you do this because you resent me, then I am not qualified to say anything, what kind of anger do you have to come towards me, but I hope you don't practice yourself to do something you don't want to do in order to be angry with me, so I will look down on you!"
The woman on the side heard the deep meaning of her words, and suddenly rushed and asked angrily, "What do you mean by this?"
The best handsome guy she worked her side, how could it be that in Su Jin's mouth, the handsome guy was practicing himself when he was with her, is this not sure that he is mocking her.
"Shut up, I'm not talking to you!"
Su Jin replied to her coldly, she was angry, and she had no patience to talk nonsense with this woman.
"What kind of thing are you, he ignores you, you still pestering people with a dead face, it's really shameless, isn't it cheap?"
Women are also not fuel-efficient, unceremoniously fighting back.
"I can't offend you if I'm cheap, I'm just worried about him, even if I want to find it, I have to find a cleaner one!"
Su Jin can be regarded as open-minded, if this woman can make Jiang Xiu listen to her explanation, then she who has always spoken softly and Sven will also be rude.
"Who do you say is dirty, stinky, are you looking for a smoke!"
The woman seemed to have been poked in the pain point, if it weren't for Jiang Xiu's hands and waist suddenly tightened, she might have jumped up and fought with Su Jin.
"When you choose to take that path, you should be prepared to be disliked, if you really care so much about other people's opinions, you should live with more dignity, you don't love yourself, and you want the respect of others, what do you say?" Su Jin glanced at her coldly and said unceremoniously.
Smack——!
This time, she didn't wait for the woman's counterattack, but was suddenly slapped in the face, the woman was so angry that she trembled, and the hand that slapped Su Jin's face hurt slightly.
Su Jin, who was stunned, covered her cheeks, and it took a long time to come back to her senses, she raised her hand angrily, wanting to withdraw it!
The hand was intercepted in mid-air, Jiang Xiu squeezed her wrist tightly, with disdain and mockery in his eyes, and then threw her to the side.
Su Jin was almost thrown to the ground, her head became a little messy, she stood in place in embarrassment, looking at Jiang Xiu incredulously.
When the woman saw this scene, she naturally pressed her head to Jiang Xiu's chest, and smiled proudly.
At this moment, Su Jin felt so ridiculous, there was a trace of bitterness in her heart, her eyes were hot, and the damn tears seemed to want to flow out again, but she couldn't help it, she turned around and left, deciding not to stay here to make a joke for others.
"You say she's dirty, but where are you clean?"
But Jiang Xiu's words made her body cold in an instant, she stopped, tears in her eyes, and asked in disbelief, "What did you say?"
"Am I wrong? Didn't you go to bed with another man after being with me? Then do you think that I am practicing myself when I am with a person like you who has children out of wedlock? ”
Su Jin felt that the most hurtful words she had heard in this world were none other than Jiang Xiu's words at the moment.
She gritted her teeth fiercely and tried hard to force back her tears, but her voice was still inevitably choked: "It turns out that you think of me like this, Qi Xiuxiu used to want you to be her father so much, she thought you were sincere, it turned out that you just regarded her as a wild child without a father!"
"Jiang Xiu, whether you believe it or not, I really really wanted to be with you, since you dislike me so much that I have given birth, then there is no need for us to meet again in the future!"
She turned around, tears fell instantly, she was so distressed that she could barely breathe, and somewhere in her heart, the wound that had taken a long time to fill, was once again pulled out of a crack.
She was so sad and sad.
The back of her dejected and dejected departure made the woman extremely happy, and she stroked Jiang Xiu's chest delicately, and shouted: "Mr. Jiang, don't look at it, let's go."
"."
Jiang Xiu suddenly let go of the hand holding her waist, pushed her away roughly, and spit out two words indifferently.
"Huh?"
The woman who was pushed away didn't react for a moment.
Jiang Xiu didn't pay any attention to him, turned around and stumbled back to his apartment.
"Mr. Ejiang, wait for me!" The woman, who had clearly not yet understood what he meant, ran up and took him by the arm.
"I told you to get out!"
Jiang Xiu shook his hand and roared angrily.
"Jiang ...... Mr. Jiang, what's wrong with you? The woman looked at him, swallowed in fear, and asked cautiously.
"If you don't get out, I don't mind getting back that slap just now for her!"
Jiang Xiu had violence in his eyes and gave an ultimatum.
The woman knew that he was not joking, felt inexplicable and annoyed, stomped her foot, and turned away angrily.
Jiang Xiu looked at the empty path in front of him, smiled self-deprecatingly, and returned to the room in the dark.
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