1. You are my unspeakable wound
Qianqian . , the fastest update of the latest chapter of the unpredictable marriage!
Everyone has secrets that they can't tell until they die.
That secret of mine has to do with her.
When we met again many years later, I wanted to tell her the secret many times, but I didn't have the courage to do so.
I was very young then, and she was even younger.
I was always a sensitive kid before we first met.
And this sensitivity is mostly due to the family.
For as long as I can remember, my mom and dad have rarely hugged me. My dad was busy all day long, and my mom would always look me up and down with a strange look from time to time.
It was only when Dad came home that Mom showed me the occasional tenderness.
More often than not, my sister is more like my mother.
She would sing me lullabies before bed, tell me her own random but funny stories, and cook something for me to eat while my mother stared in the mirror all day.
Later, Dad got busier and busier, so busy that he rarely came home, and the smile on Mom's face became less and less. Then one day, she suddenly called my sister and me, took some money in my sister's hands, and asked her to take good care of me during this time, and she was going to find her father.
I didn't feel sad at the time, as long as my sister could be by my side anyway.
But my sister seemed to be very sad, and when she took the money, her eyes were red.
It wasn't until my mother was gone that I remembered how good she was. At least I don't have to wake up with my sister, who is in her third year of junior high school, every day when it's still dark.
At that time, they had to get up at 6:00 a.m. and rush to school before 6:50 a.m. to read early. After I got up with her, I didn't dare to make a noise, and after obediently eating the noodles she cooked for me with only oil and salt, she hurriedly took her hand and sent her to kindergarten.
I went to a small kindergarten run by a private family, but no matter how simple it was, it was still dark and people couldn't open the door.
My sister had to knock on the door anxiously for several minutes each time before a sleepy-eyed aunt would open the door and take me into the kindergarten.
As soon as my sister left, the aunt put me in the empty classroom, and went back to sleep without even turning on the lights.
Little me cried for some reason, and I cried so much that my aunt couldn't hear it anymore and was about to scold me, when I heard a knock at the door again.
As soon as the door opened, my sister ran in panting, hugged me, and whispered faintly in my ear: "My good brother, don't cry." My sister has walked from the end of the street to the street, and you can still hear your crying. Your cry makes my sister's heart ache terribly. Don't cry. Obediently waiting here, my sister will come soon, and will come soon. ”
My sister's approach was severely reprimanded by the aunt, saying that I would only cry more if I did this.
My sister comforted me for a while before I had no choice but to leave.
I was the last one to be picked up that day. When my sister came, I cried again. My sister wanted to take my hand, but I shook it off with hatred. She crouched down to wipe away my tears, so I pounded her chest hard and asked her why it was dark for her to come.
My sister hurriedly said sorry, then turned her head away, her shoulder twitching helplessly.
I knew that my sister must be angry, and I didn't dare to play a temper anymore, so I obediently followed her all the way home silently.
After that, I learned that my sister was late that day and was punished for cleaning the big garden alone.
In the evening, my sister asked me why I was crying in kindergarten. I told her that it was dark in the classroom and that I was scared. My sister didn't say anything, just hugged me tightly in her arms.
It was only after a while that I felt something wet and sticky rub against my face.
The next day, my sister didn't wake me up early, but waited until everything was cooked before calling me to get up. By the time we went out, it was already a little cloudy.
It was a wonderful, blank moment, the ground was pitch black, and there were a few stars scattered in the deep, pale sky.
Seeing that I was walking and staring blankly at the sky, my sister tightened my hand and said softly, "Xiaoyan, do you know? It is said that when a person dies, he becomes a star in the sky. So don't be afraid, your dearest ones are always watching you and protecting you. ”
After saying that, she seemed to suddenly realize something, stopped suddenly, and looked at me in a daze.
Seeing me look at her with a confused expression, she breathed a sigh of relief.
After that, my sister never said anything like that again. But that sentence that I didn't understand was so deeply seared into my heart.
When I was sent to kindergarten again, even though it was still dark all around, I was not so scared when I saw the faint stars in the sky through the window.
At that time, I naturally took what my sister said as the least questionable truth in the world, and when she said that the stars would protect me, I thought that they must have been watching over me, and that they would come back to save me whenever I was in danger.
It's just that I don't understand, my sister said that people don't become stars until they die. What about my dearest people...... How could he die?
The mystery was solved when I was in the second grade. At that time, my mother would not leave me down and I would not see me for months. But the only days that can make my mother happy are the days when my father comes home occasionally.
I was supposed to go to school that day, but I had a cold and fever, and my mother helped me ask for leave from school, fed me some medicine, and told me to lie down obediently.
Then I vaguely heard who she was calling, asking her family to come over to her house or something.
After a while, I was sweating all over, I felt so thirsty, and I kept shouting to my mother, my mother, I want to drink water. But after calling for a long time, no one answered me.
I got out of bed in a daze, ran to the living room to get a water cup and prepared to catch water. But who would have thought that the water dispenser would run out of water. I went into my mother's room and went to her bed to ask her to get me some water.
But as soon as my hand was raised, the whole person went limp, and the cup fell to the ground, and my foot was unintentionally lifted and rolled under the foot of the bed.
I had to lie down and climb into the foot of the bed to pick it up.
As soon as I got the cup and wanted to come out, I heard a series of movements outside the door. Immediately afterward, I saw my mother's high heels. I was happy, but soon, another pair of shoes came into view.
Seems to be another aunt.
I was wondering who this person was, when I heard her say to my mother in some confusion, "Why do you want to come to the bedroom, can't you do it in the living room?" ”
Mom's voice was low and unfamiliar, "Akihiko was sick and didn't go to school today, I don't want him to hear it." ”
Hearing this, I clenched the water glass and shrunk into a ball, and I didn't dare to make a sound.
Otherwise, my mother might have been angry when she saw it.
At this moment, the woman smiled, "Oh, don't be so nervous, it's not that I want to talk about him as soon as I come to you!" ”
Mom's tone was a little impatient, "Say, what's the matter." ”
"That's that, that...... Recently, my child got sick, and then the dead ghost used the money I was going to take to my child's medical treatment and lost the bet, isn't that ...... I really can't help it, so I can only ask you to borrow some more. ”
"I knew it. In addition to borrowing money from me, what else will you ask me for! ”
"Hey, don't say that, I don't usually dare to come to you, it's not what you asked, I said that I was afraid that your husband would know about Qiuyan. I think you don't trust me too much, we've been sisters for so many years, no matter how stupid I am, I'm no longer human, and I will never tell him that Akihiko is the child you brought back to raise. ”
"You're really enough, didn't you tell you not to mention it in the future?"
"Hey, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I owe it. But don't be too surprised, the child's parents have died of illness one after another, and his mother also knew that her time was running out before she handed over the little doll that was less than a month old to me. What are you afraid of, and no one will come to your door. Besides, when you were fake pregnant, didn't you never go out at home all the time? Your husband was not there during that time, and he came back after the child was brought in for more than a month, this plan is seamless, don't worry about it. ”
"Whether you are finished or not, you have to stop talking about it. If you have it, you know, how much will you borrow this time? ”
"Oh, look at you, as if I was using this excuse to force you to borrow money. We've been sisters for so many years, it's really not easy to have at hand, your man's business has been smooth sailing over the years, borrow me a little-"
"That's it! Say it! How much? Won't I be able to fetch it for you? ”
They began to argue vaguely.
I hid at the foot of the dark bed alone, covering my mouth tightly, and couldn't help but shed tears.
It wasn't until the two of them walked out one after the other, and heard the sound of the door closing, that I quickly climbed out from under the bed, rushed back to my room, and closed the door with a bang.
Then the whole person shrank down softly against the door, and the tears kept flowing.
At that time, I was very panicked, chaotic, and afraid!
If that's the case, then my existence is just a substitute. No wonder Mom didn't like it at all. No wonder my sister wants to say that.
It turns out that my real parents are gone!
They already knew. Even my sister knows.
The only one I don't know, I'm afraid it's my father.
I began to force myself to calm down and think about what to do next.
If you leave this home, a primary school student will not survive at all. Then I can only stay on. Pretend you don't know anything!
After making this decision, I began to live cautiously. Maintain a pretended intimacy with everyone in the family.
My father, who had come back from nowhere, and my mother, who didn't care at all, didn't notice it at all. On the contrary, it was my sister who looked at me many times and stopped talking.
Later, she was admitted to university and happily went to study in other places.
My heart rejoiced for her, but I was also anxious for what was to come. She's the only person in the family who cares about me. Now as soon as I go, I ......
At that time, I was entangled in that complex emotion, and I really couldn't congratulate her with a smile and send her, but kept hiding in the corner and watching secretly.
My sister waited for me until the last bus came, and then got on the bus with a sad face.
As the car drove away from the city, I felt like half of the sky had collapsed.
After that, I'll have to rely on myself.
I can only rely on myself.
Fortunately, because I didn't dare to have too much hope for my parents, I didn't feel too sad about what they did to me. Anyway, as long as you can survive, let's talk about it when you grow up.
In this way, months passed in a hurry, and my sister wrote many letters, but I did not reply to any of them.
On that day, none of my parents, who had promised to come with me to participate in the school activities, survived the afternoon with a red face in the strange eyes of the whole class.
I don't know why they didn't come, but I think if they did, that terrible accident wouldn't have happened.
Definitely not!