My name is Liu Yinan, and the biggest failure in my life is to become a man!

I was born in a poor ravine in the northeast, and the name of the village was "Half-Life Village", so called because the men in the village did not live past the age of fifty.

No one knows what the reason is, even if a famous Taoist priest from a radius of hundreds of miles is invited to perform spells, it does not change the tragedy of the short life of the men.

I have been studying hard since I was a child, not for anything else, just to move out of the hukou as soon as possible, to get rid of the curse of this "half-life village", and I have not been home once in four years of college, until the morning of the graduation certificate, I received a call from my father, "Your uncle is gone!" ”

"What? Uncle died? "I didn't believe my ears a little, and then I suddenly remembered, isn't it, Uncle is forty-nine this year.

After more than ten hours of driving, I finally arrived in the village in the evening of the next day, and I was picked up by Wang Yishui at the head of the village.

The mourning hall is located in the main house of the uncle's house, with a statue in the middle, when I was a child, the uncle did not take me less, I was like his own son, in a blink of an eye, the yin and yang were separated, and my nose was sour.

The coffin had to be kept at home for three days, and I was the only junior, so the task of keeping the spirit naturally fell on my head.

"Look at the candles and incense in front of the coffin, and don't let them go out." My dad knocked on the cigarette pouch and pan, gave me the order, and left.

The wind was blowing fiercely outside, and the wooden door of the uncle's house was babbling, and the candle flame of the offering was also swaying, and seeing that the candle flame was about to be blown out, I had to close the door tightly, forked the door fork, turned around and knelt up in front of the coffin.

As soon as I knelt down, the door fork fell to the ground, and I went on the door fork again, and I was a little annoyed with this repeat a few times.

Could it be that there are children playing tricks? I listened with my ears pricked up, there seemed to be movement in the backyard, and I looked through the back window, and the leaves of the dried budding rice stalks in the firewood stack were surging with the cool breeze, not only surging, but I clearly heard the sound of men and women panting.

Damn, who is so unscrupulous, secretly stole to the back of my uncle's mourning hall.

tiptoeing around the backyard, it's actually my hair Wang Yishui!

"What are you doing? Didn't you send me here and go back? "I didn't care about the face of the woman under him, I pulled up a piece of water.

The woman hurriedly turned her head sideways, and in a panic she held the clothes and pants that had been removed to cover them, and the two protrusions on her chest shook nervously there, "Xiaoxia! I recognized it, but this woman was not Yishui's daughter-in-law, Xiaoxia blushed, and quickly put on her clothes and ran.

"What's the matter with you? Have a daughter-in-law at home? Why are you still here? "I complained, I didn't save face for Yishui, I recognized Yishui's daughter-in-law, but I only met once.

Wang Yishui is my hair young, he joined the He family in Sheung Shui Village four years ago, the day I entered the family, it was also the day I went to the university to report, I and Wang Yishui were tied to the big red flower, the two groups of people beating gongs and drums mixed together, the sound of gongs and drums shocked Wang Yishui's horse, and I was also stumbled by the crowd into the bride's sedan chair.

In a panic, a slender wrist grabbed my arm, and I vaguely saw the small cherry mouth looming in the veil, and the red lips opened slightly, "Are you my man!" ”

I quickly shook my head at the bride!

The woman's voice was numb, so crispy that my brain was a little dizzy, and the uncle dragged me out of the bride's sedan chair, and laughed and teased, "Do you want to get on other people's daughter-in-law's sedan chair too?" ”

That's the only time I've seen what a daughter-in-law looks like, to be precise, I haven't seen it yet!

Yishui saw that I was really angry, so he quickly lifted his pants and said to me, "Okay, I know, I know, I'll explain it to you later!" Aren't you keeping a wake for your uncle? How to sneak out to the back of the room. ”

His words reminded me, and I didn't care about counting him, so I hurried to the front of my uncle's mourning hall, and the flickering candle was actually extinguished.

Dad said that you can't let the candle go out.

Quickly turned on the lighter and rekindled the candle, and looked around vigilantly, but there was no unusual movement, and then he breathed a sigh of relief.

The next morning, before dawn, the relatives poured into the courtyard of the uncle's house, and the band babbled and blew the suona, and the team went straight to the tomb.

Mr. Bai Shi had been waiting there for a long time, humming and chirping some words that he didn't understand at all, and holding a big in his hand.

This big rooster is called "Soul Chicken", which is the guide of the dead man on the Huangquan Road, and four small fish are offered in front of the coffin.

Mr. Wu (Mr. Bai Shi, who was invited by the next village to preside over my uncle's funeral) grabbed the neck of the "soul chicken" and slapped it the chicken's chest, and the rooster slapped his shoulder a few times and lay directly on the ground.

"Soul Chicken" did not look up to the sky and screamed, wilting and unwilling to move, this move made Mr. Wu very faceless, he picked up the chicken, pinched the neck and slapped it again, the chicken directly broke free of Mr. Wu's hand, jumped in front of the basin containing four fish, and ate the fish!

Everyone was completely dumbfounded, they had seen chickens and insects, but they had never seen chickens and fish.

While everyone was stunned, the chicken jumped directly into the dug grave and used its claws to dig up vigorously, revealing yellow under the soil.

The "Soul Chicken" just gave up, jumped out of the grave, flapped his arms a few times, and flew away.

The villagers were confused, no one knew what was going on, everyone looked at Mr. Wu with blank eyes, and Mr. couldn't hold it, beads of sweat from his face flowed down his face, and he jumped directly into the tomb, and slammed along the position of the chicken's paws with his hands.

"Golden Silk Nanmu!" Mr. Wu gritted his teeth and said.

"What?" The people around me weren't too sober.

"Golden silk nanmu, there is a golden silk nanmu coffin buried underneath!"

Another coffin suddenly appeared in the tomb, but it was unexpected, the tomb was occupied by others, which is a big taboo in our countryside, and the blind dates were very surprised and talked about it.

"Sir, what should I do now, whether to bury it or not!" The strong man Qian Laoqi was carrying a shovel and was a little impatient.

Mr. Wu took a puff of cigarette, took the cigarette pouch rod and knocked vigorously on the big stone under his buttocks, "This is also the first time I have seen this, so let's keep your eldest brother's coffin here first, and leave the two juniors to watch at night, don't let any wild animals arch, the others will be sent back first!" ”

Although the villagers were a little reluctant to hear what Mr. Wu had to say, my father still sent everyone away.

Mr. Wu said to my father with a serious face, "Did you make any mistakes when you chose the tomb site at that time?" ”

"I can't!" My dad thought for a while, "When I was digging the soil before and yesterday, more than a dozen men dug hard with shovels, and I didn't see this coffin. Dad pointed to the Nanmu coffin with a puzzled expression.

Mr. Wu sighed, "It's the first time I've seen it, 'chickens eat fish, claws dig mud, the dead are clear, and the living are fascinated'. ”

"What should I do then?" My eldest brother's grave was occupied by others, and my father had no idea.

"Did anything happen to your family during the wake?" Mr. Wu asked us.

"A man, when you kept the wake last night, everything was okay!" My dad asked me.

"Nothing!" When my father asked me this question, my first reaction was whether to say that someone was cheating on someone behind the house, but I was immediately denied by myself, after all, it was a scandal of a small water, don't make it known to everyone, so I said about the door fork, "By the way, it was windy last night, and when I went to the door fork, the candle flame went out, but I quickly continued!" ”

"You kid, why did you say that!" My dad yelled so hard that a slap flew into my face.

"What? As for it? Why are you hitting me? "I was a little aggrieved, my face was hot, and I was left alone in the courtyard of my uncle's house in the middle of the night, not to mention, and I was beaten several times.

Mr. Wu took a puff of cigarette pouch and nodded his head to analyze there, "This incense is related to the ventilation of the underworld, and it has something to do with the time of the burial of the dead, the time of your uncle's burial is calculated in advance, but now that the incense is broken, according to the rules, the time of burial has to be recalculated. ”

I sneered in my heart, another person's coffin board appeared under the uncle's tomb, obviously the wrong acupuncture point, what does it have to do with my optimism about the candle flame, I think this Mr. Wu didn't calculate a good position for the uncle, and deliberately leaned on me.

"Old man Liu, this matter is not something I can solve, otherwise you should ask the shaman mage to come over and have a look!" Mr. Wu said to my father.

"Okay, just do as Mr. says!" When Dad spoke, he gave Mr. Wu an envelope, "I'll settle the account for this white matter for you first." ”

Mr. Wu took the envelope, weighed it vigorously with his hand, turned his head and patted me on the shoulder, "Good boy, keep it!" ”

"You'll have to be obedient, but you can't be lost!" My dad said the same.

"No, it won't! I'm alone! "I'm a little repulsed.

"Just one of your juniors, I won't leave you behind!"

At night, I have to accompany two coffins, here in the deep mountains and old forests, even if I am not frightened by the beasts, I have to scare myself to death, I am left on the mountain, I simply took out my mobile phone, damn, this ghost place, there is no signal.

I slept very uncomfortably, I fell asleep several times due to sleepiness, and I was woken up by mosquito bites several times, and I was stared at several big bags on my face, which made me uncomfortable!

I glanced at my uncle's coffin, well, this is a good place to rest, sleeping on this coffin board is better than staying in Caokezi.

I just fell asleep and heard the sound of "coo-dong-coo-dong", thinking that it was a rice chattering on the wood, so I didn't pay much attention to it.

The sound of "coo-dong-coo" became louder and louder, and it made my body tingle.