Chen Ran

When I got home, my phone rang, I took it out and saw that it was Xiaojuan, my eyebrows raised, I was hesitating to answer, but the phone rang twice but it was broken, I stared at the bright white on the screen and gradually faded, until I couldn't see the darkness of a human figure, I was silent for a long time, and then put it on the desk, took a shower and fell asleep, and the mobile phone did not ring again until the next morning.

I don't know why Xiaojuan called me that or why she hung up after two rings. I don't think it's because of a mistake. Maybe it was because I saw my text message and learned that I had returned to H City or even went downstairs to the exchange room, after all, she and Director Zhao were upstairs at that time, and the tone in my text message seemed to know the taste of everything, and I had experienced the embarrassment and embarrassment of being broken like this, so I understood it very well. And the long night, no matter what they are doing in the early hours of the morning, no matter how they explain, in front of me they seem to be unable to cover up, in this case, it is better to break the jar and break it, Xiaojuan is not the kind of woman who will easily lower her body to ask others to change their minds, to a certain extent, she has her own openness and pride, for feelings and life, she has always been more affordable than me.

Xiaojuan didn't come back that night.

In fact, I regretted sending that text message to Xiaojuan afterwards, since I don't care anymore and I'm about to break up with her, why do I have to say it so bluntly and don't even leave a step to each other, although it is expressed in my pure matter, and there is no element of anger or unhappiness, but from Xiaojuan's point of view, it has a taste of condemnation when it reads. After all, the text has no expression, and in the transmission of time and space, because different scenes will change out of shape, and at the end of the day, I will block her in one fell swoop, which is indeed my lack of consideration.

I don't know why my mind was hot at that time, and I suddenly realized in a hazy way that it was because of me that the upcoming separation was caused by me after all, and subconsciously I also wanted to find some reason for each other to understand that it was not the reason that I was alone to come to this point, and I could also get a little relief from self-comfort?

Oh, Chen Ran, it turns out that you are also such a person who is so scheming and dare not take responsibility.

When I got up the next day, I met my mother in the living room, she glanced at my bedroom with her eyes uneasy, looked at me and asked, "Chen Ran, Xiaojuan didn't come back last night?" ”

I glanced back at the thin air-conditioner quilt on the bed, and then looked at the door as neatly arranged as last night's shoe rack, I couldn't help frowning, but when I turned my head, my expression was as usual, "Mom, Xiaojuan came back late, they have been busy with projects recently, and they have to work overtime on weekends, and they leave before dawn in the morning." ”

"Really?" Xiaojuan's mother was full of suspicion, and her eyebrows were piled up, "I didn't hear her say." ”

I smiled slightly, and didn't want to dwell too much with her on this topic, "By the way, Mom, you don't have to cook for us at noon today, I and Xiaojuan go out to eat, there is something wrong." He patted her arm as he spoke, "She said yes before she left the door in the morning, so you should be relieved, right?" Why don't I call my parents over to accompany you at noon? ”

Xiaojuan's mother breathed a sigh of relief, and laughed at me, "Do you think I'm short of someone to accompany me?" I'm worried about you! After thinking about it, "But it's time to call your in-laws over for a meal, okay, Chen Ran, then you tell your parents, and I'll go grocery shopping." ”

I promised to call my parents and open the text message on my mobile phone, but there was no news from Xiaojuan. After thinking about it, he still sent her another message, "Xiaojuan, let's eat at Haiju at noon, I will go over and book a table for the seafood you like." ”

Xiaojuan replied quickly this time, but there was only one simple word "good". I smiled to myself, leaned back on the head of the bed, and pulled a cigarette from the cigarette case next to me and lit it. The curtains were not opened, the light in the room was very dim, and the cigarette butts shimmered in the cold air. I smoked unhurriedly, thinking about how to cherish each other with Xiaojuan at noon, this time it was a real parting, no matter what, in our nearly forty years of life, from the early twenties to the prime of life, we have been with each other hand in hand for nearly a third of the time, which is also a rare fate. One day husband and wife Bairien, this house, as well as the villa in N City, are all left to her, including this consulting company, I was still preparing to leave a way out for Yue'er, but now it seems that there is no need, since Xiaojuan plans to stay in H City, Zhao Chu and his daughter are also here, he has a wide network of resources, it is better to leave it to them to take care of. suddenly remembered that Zhao Tingting, the little girl was lively and cute, it turned out that she really had a mother-daughter fate with Xiaojuan, and with such a forgetful grass by her side, she should be able to comfort her for the pain of having no children under her knees.

After thinking about everything, I put out my cigarette butt, put on my coat, and drove to the sea house.

Haiju is not far from home, only about 20 minutes away by car, and it is a restaurant with a good environment nearby. Because it was built near the water, and it was mainly engaged in seafood, it happened to take this name by borrowing the name, which added a bit of literary atmosphere. Xiaojuan has always loved to eat seafood, and after arriving in H City, she tried her best to integrate into the so-called exquisite petty bourgeois life in the local area, and a few women in the unit who flaunted Wenqing all day long were wrapped very tightly, and she liked these literary tones when she came and went, when she recommended this restaurant to me, she also said that there was a beautiful feeling of the moon and the end of the world at this time, and I laughed and said that no matter how beautiful it is, it is just a gluttonous place? It's really hypocritical, but she was ashamed to accuse her of having no taste, and after all, she was dragged by her to eat the first seafood in H City. I didn't expect that the last seafood feast between me and her was also chosen here by mistake, it was really a good gathering and a good dispersion.

At this moment, sitting in the position near the window, looking at the misty water mist raised by the artificial waterfall outside the window, such as the mist that lasts for a long time, the water at the feet is murmuring, and the soft ripples are so soft that the gravel is dingdong, there are really people in the painting to sit on the water and flow around the fairyland feeling, I didn't pay attention to it before, but at this time I have some empathy, it seems that Xiaojuan complained that I have no taste at the beginning is not completely unreasonable.

Just as I was thinking about it, I suddenly felt that there was a figure next to me, and when I turned my head, it turned out to be Xiaojuan who had arrived. She wore a black slim dress today, carrying a black Chanel bag and a pair of black high-heeled sandals on her feet. Oh, she is dressed in black from head to toe, like her current temperament, cold, arrogant, and rejects people thousands of miles away.

In fact, I wanted to tell her a long time ago that her figure is on the thin side, coupled with long-term smoking, her complexion is not good, and her black clothes will only make her whole person look more pale and embarrassed, which is not suitable for her. It's just that now that it's all come to this, is it necessary to say? No, it's not an important thing, not to mention that in the future, there will be someone next to her to give her some guidance, and I really don't need to bother with it.

Thinking of this, I couldn't help but smile at her and motioned for her to take a seat. Xiaojuan didn't have much surprise when she saw me, she sat down, took the menu, and said without raising her head, "You came back last night?" I don't even say it in advance. ”

"Hmm" I didn't mind, picked up the kettle on the table and refilled each other's water, and then said, "Come back to take care of something, and I'll be going back soon, so I didn't call in advance." ”

Xiaojuan raised her eyes to look at me, picked up the water cup on the table and took a sip, beckoned the waiter to finish ordering, and was about to return the menu, when she suddenly realized that I hadn't ordered yet, she couldn't help but be stunned, coughed lightly, and then handed me the menu, showing a slightly embarrassed and sorry smile, "Usually I am used to eating alone, and I will naturally hand it to the waiter after ordering." ”

I smiled slightly, expressed my understanding, took the menu, and ordered a seafood risotto casually, and then said to her, "You are becoming more and more vigorous now, and you feel like a strong woman." It seems that H City is indeed more suitable for you, if you are still curled up in that small unit in N City, it is estimated that you are still guarding your own one-third of an acre of land, and you will be short with a bunch of middle-aged women in the family of firewood, rice, oil and salt. After a pause, as if remembering something, I asked, "By the way, how did you do with your job transfer?" ”

"Well, it's okay" Xiaojuan laid out the napkin, nodded and said, "The documents should be officially issued next month." ”

I looked up, genuinely happy for her, "Really? It's not easy, it's not easy, it's finally a thing, otherwise now that the house has been bought, and my mother has come over, if you can't adjust it for a long time, it's really a troublesome thing. Then he raised the glass of water on the table, "Come, Xiaojuan, congratulations, all your wishes have come true!" ”

Xiaojuan stopped what she was doing, looked at me for a long time, suddenly smiled, picked up the water glass and touched me gently, "All wishes come true?" Count? Hehe, it's just a step by step here, a few years ago, how could I have thought about these things......" Putting down the water glass, she turned her head to look out the window, silent for a long time, and then slowly turned around, stared at my eyes, and finally said, "Chen Ran, you asked me to dinner today, won't you just say congratulations to me?" ”

Finally, I still have to cut to the chase, I understand, if it weren't for that text message, we might still be able to say a few words of our own lonely time, but now we can only omit all the warmth and politeness, go straight to the point, and hit the point, too, it has long been the old husband and wife who touched the right hand with their left hand and didn't feel it, what is the warmth and politeness, and they are not planning to celebrate the honeymoon, the moment is to break up, cut, divorce, which is related to warmth and politeness?

Well, since that's the case, let's get started.

I let out a long sigh, wiped my mouth with a napkin, and was about to speak, when I suddenly heard Xiaojuan ask, "You saw it all last night, didn't you?" ”

I knew from Xiaojuan's phone that I hung up after two rings that sooner or later there would be this question, so it was not surprising. After thinking about it for a while, I nodded, but my tone was very calm, "Actually, I knew it before I went back to City C last time......"

For a moment, I saw Xiaojuan raise her head suddenly, staring at me in disbelief, "How could you ......" Then it seemed to remember something, the light in her eyes gradually dimmed, and the corners of her mouth squeezed out a wry smile, "Heh, it turns out that you already knew, no wonder ......"

I patted her hand on the table, smiled at her, and said slowly, "It's nothing, Xiaojuan, I can understand." Withdrawing my hand, I asked the waiter for a cup of coffee, and continued, "After so many years of husband and wife, I know that you are not as strong as you seem, I have not been by your side for the past few years, you are not easy, I understand." I took a sip of the coffee that was delivered, and the bitterness of the unsweetened sugar instantly penetrated into every corner of my lips and teeth, but I seemed to enjoy such an unpalatable taste at the moment, pursed my lips, and said, "Do you remember the last time we went to Ilkong Temple?" You said that I am now more of a form and obligation to this family, I didn't answer you positively at the time, but now I have to admit that it is true that as you said, for so many years, we have traveled to several places, experienced inside and outside the system, you, I, whether in the work circle or the life circle, have undergone tremendous changes, and these changes, but there is no more intersection, resulting in the two of us both physically and mentally, after all, gradually drifting apart......"

"Actually, the dinner when I recognized Tingting as my goddaughter, I felt something about Director Zhao's thoughts about you, maybe the husband and wife are more sensitive to these than others after all, even if he covered it up well that time, I can also feel his feelings for you beyond ordinary friends. It's just that at that time, I wasn't sure what you wanted for her, and Tingting recognized you as a godmother, which made me think that it was good that you had a goddaughter no matter what, even if your father died later, and their father and daughter traveled thousands of miles to N City to mourn, and the eyes you looked at him at that time made me feel that his weight in your heart may not be heavy, so I began to think, I, you, him, is there another possibility; It wasn't until the night before I went back to City C that I saw him send you home, and you hugged each other, and I understood that there were some things that I couldn't give you after all, and he could. ”

Pouring the last bit of coffee into my mouth, I raised my head to look at Xiaojuan, only to see her staring at me blankly, her reddish eyes were empty and sad, I sighed in my heart, stretched out my hand to hold Xiaojuan's hand, but she slowly retracted, my heart was sour, I didn't look over, just looked at the flowing water outside the window and continued, "Xiaojuan, I have no prejudice against Director Zhao." Objectively speaking, a man, with a child, has not remarried for so many years, at least it shows that he is a responsible and responsible man, there is a saying, companionship is the most affectionate confession, in the past few years, I have not been by your side, but he has been with you; Now I have no confidence or am unwilling to change for you, and he, whether in work or life, can be by your side to help you from the wind and rain, he is indeed more suitable for you than me, not to mention," I paused, smiled slightly, and looked back at her, "Tingting, she is your goddaughter, maybe this is destined in the dark, you ......"

"Okay, don't say it" Xiaojuan suddenly interrupted me, she took a deep breath, put the cup in her hand back in place, raised her head to look at me, her eyes were already clear,

"Chen Ran, let's get a divorce."