Li Yue'er

Outside the window, the sun was warm, and the blue sky was so clear that there was not a trace of clouds. I leaned back on the chairs in the cubicle and looked out, and the city was adorned with gold and splendor by tall buildings from near and far, glittering with pride and indifference that would not be seen thousands of miles away.

Winter goes to spring, and it's been almost a year in Kairan's days. Although my father was obsessed with my work, his blood was thicker than water, and he knew that "women are not staying", and when he saw that I was gradually settling down, he turned a blind eye and stopped nagging often. Of course, I was happy to push the boat, and I remembered that my mother died early, and it was not easy for my father to pull me to grow up, and there were more daughters who were coquettish between words, and usually carried things back to see him every once in a while, which made the old man happy, and worried about my life's events.

Oh, the event of a lifetime, something that was extremely distant in my mind, suddenly became part of my life agenda. It seems that overnight, all the relatives and friends who see it, as if they have unified their voices, will always ask the question "Do you have a partner?" Then, after getting a negative answer, he said logically, "Girls have to hurry, and after 25, older young people are not easy to find."

My father was bewitched by such words, and recently he always liked to call his friends to greet him, and then Zhang Luo asked me to meet with his eldest son and whose youngest nephew. I've always been quite disgusted with blind dates, two strange men and women can conclude a marriage and stay together for a lifetime in my eyes, of course, this is somewhat due to the brainwashing of those romance novels in college, although I don't expect the dead and alive love in the story, but that heart-warming feeling, such an unforgettable touch, is essential, how can you make the cheesy ritual of blind date sloppy?

It's just that I don't rely on blind dates, and my love seems to have to be confessed to fate. But fate is not something I can control, and it may make my father feel helpless more than my work. But the twisted melon is not sweet, as long as it doesn't hurt his heart, thinking like this, I also took my hand away and didn't take it to heart.

Now, my work in the administration department is progressing in an orderly manner, and the manager Wang Hao also praises me, because of the last publicity draft to get praise, Wang Hao is now relieved to explain some important materials in the department to me. Zhang Xiaoqi naturally withdrew from paperwork and was mainly responsible for public relations and reception.

My relationship with Zhang Xiaoqi has always remained lukewarm because of the last incident, although I am not a calculating person, but once I was bitten by a snake, I finally had a mustard in my heart. She seems to be a lot more generous, especially in front of Wang Hao, she still talks and laughs with me as usual, but when Wang Hao really praises me, her face will sink again.

I remembered that Pleasant Goat said that she and Wang Hao had an emotional entanglement, and I felt that this troubled water was really unavoidable, and I usually paid attention to keeping a distance from Wang Hao at work. But Wang Hao didn't seem to care, he organized a dinner party when he had nothing to do, and his colleagues in the department sighed that Manager Wang has now begun to humanize management and knows how to win people's hearts.

In the face of these ridicules, Wang Hao has always gaged to block, but the pace of the dinner has not stopped. Zhang Xiaoqi is very happy, this kind of wine field is her forte, and now she can't ask for her lover when she pushes the cup and changes the lamp. I'm lazy, after all, I don't like to be noisy by nature, and I can't resist this kind of dinner, so I am often silent during the banquet, and everyone knows my temperament, but I don't think so.

But Wang Hao seemed to be quite concerned, and asked me several times why I was so silent, and I didn't want to explain too much about his questions, so I only shirked them with little alcohol. After that, departmental dinners were significantly reduced, replaced by weekend hiking outings. Although I don't resist this kind of fitness activity, I am as sensitive as me, and gradually realize something, but the other party did not say anything further, and I also pretended to be deaf and dumb to see through it without saying anything, but after a long time, I also felt that the load became a little unbearable.

Not to mention that Zhang Xiaoqi has a deep love for Wang Hao, as far as Wang Hao himself, I have no desire to contact privately except for my work relationship. Yes, he is an approachable and humorous leader, and it would be easier to be his subordinate, but that's about it. He and I are not essentially the same kind of people, and although his sophistication and subtlety are understandable, they are not what I want after all.

The days passed silently like flowing water, and the waves were not alarmed.

Wang Hao has been having a hot fight with the sales department recently, and several times I saw Guo Xin visiting his office, and the two chatted happily. I don't know when they were so familiar, but with Wang Hao's tongue and tongue, eating and drinking spicy personalities, these two people have the same smell and smell together, and they can be regarded as similar things and people in groups.

However, the company seems to be in trouble lately, with sales suddenly and sharply declining in recent months. At first, everyone only regarded it as a regular seasonal factor, after all, it is the off-season for sales after the beginning of spring every year, and it generally returns to normal after a month. But in the following month or two, the sales figure still only decreased, especially the loss of a large number of small orders and old customers, which attracted the attention of the company's senior management, and the sales department was also brightly lit recently, often working overtime until late at night.

The reason was quickly found out, and it turned out that there were alternative products on the market, and the price was two percent lower than that of Kairan. Large customers have not changed their doors considering the quality and after-sales service for the time being, but the price difference of two percent is indeed too attractive for a large number of small customers, and it is difficult to ensure that large customers will not change their ways in the future.

Guo Xin must have had a hard time recently, no wonder Wang Hao came here to complain. As a salesman, Guo Xin is a good hand in marketing, but at present, there is a problem with the product itself, the cost is there, and the sales department cannot withstand the impact of alternative products even if it does not eat or drink 24 hours a day. Recently, the frequency of meetings between the Guo brothers has increased greatly, the company has a general meeting every three days, a small meeting every two days, the air is filled with depression and tension, the administrative department is closest to the boss's office, and it bears the brunt, Wang Hao has also sunken eyes these days, full of exhaustion.

The whole company is fully engaged in the matter of substitute products, and almost all the daily materials of the administration department are handed over to me. Wang Hao called me to the office to finish arranging work, and it was already past the end of work. He rubbed his sour eyes, picked up the suit on the seat, and said to me, "I've worked hard for you this time, let's go, I'll invite you to dinner tonight." ”

I was slightly surprised, there were obviously only the two of us at today's dinner, thinking about Wang Hao's thoughts all along, I was hesitating whether to go.

Wang Hao saw my uneasiness, smiled self-deprecatingly, and said, "Come on, Comrade Xiao Li, don't feel embarrassed, I don't have the money to pay you overtime wages, I can only buy people's hearts by coarse tea and light rice, lest I will be miserable if my work is made by you." You know, you're holding up half of our department now! ”

He reverted to his usual hippie smile, which just resolved the embarrassment just now, and I was immediately relieved: "Then I have to slaughter the leader well." ”

Jokes aside, I haven't dared enough to slaughter my own leader. We found a Hunan restaurant near the company, Wang Hao is from Hunan, and the food in City C is still too light in his mouth. I am not picky about my diet, not to mention that I am very happy to have a free dinner for a meal.

Wang Hao seemed to be really tired and hungry, and this meal was very sweet. Thinking that he usually advances and retreats cautiously by Mr. Guo's side, the gobbling up at this time makes me laugh.

He stopped the chopsticks in his hand, raised his head and looked at me and said with a smile, "Don't laugh at my ugly appearance, it's a blessing to be able to eat, and only when you are full can you continue to do your best for the company." ”

I was told that he was thinking about it, and I laughed.

"There have been too many things in the company recently, and I haven't eaten a serious hometown dish for a long time," he suddenly sighed.

As soon as he said this, I casually asked, "Is there no good solution to the company's product now?" Cannot it be determined to be infringement? ”

"In the past few days, I have been talking about this matter with the R&D department of the sales department, and the company's products have long been patented, but you don't understand that in the chemical industry, it is actually difficult to identify infringement. As long as the other party has mastered the basic formula, it is a new product if it is changed to an unimportant formula raw material, even if the final performance and function of the two are exactly the same. ”

"Is there anything they can do over there?"

Wang Hao shook his head and said, "There is no better solution at present, and it can only be handled as commercial competition." Mr. Guo of the sales department has been trying to retain large customers, and the R&D department may have more headaches, and they are planning to analyze the alternative product and make a comparison. Alas, it would be nice if Chen Ran and Chen were always here, technically he is a good hand. ”

"Chen Ran", this is the second time I have heard this name. Pleasant Goat, Wang Hao, mentioning his name with regret and sigh, what kind of person is this? I'm starting to get a little curious.

Outside the window, the lights of the city are wrapped in countless joys and sorrows, and for some reason, I suddenly feel a little depressed.

"Tell me about you, it's been almost a year since you joined the company, how do you feel? Are you satisfied with the head of my department? Wang Hao's question interrupted my thoughts, looking at me with a relaxed smile on his face, but I don't know if it was my own illusion, there seemed to be a trace of nervousness in that smile.

I was slightly stunned, and suddenly felt that there was still some lack of consideration for eating alone with him today, so I had to avoid the important and said lightly, "It's okay, the work of the administration department is quite compatible with my major and interests, and I would like to thank Manager Wang for his cultivation and giving me a lot of opportunities to exercise." ”

"Ha, Comrade Xiao Li, don't look serious about reporting to the leader, I'm not Mr. Guo. You work hard, write well, have a good personality, and everyone has a good evaluation of you. ”

"Thank you Manager Wang for your encouragement, in fact, everyone is also very good, and I still have a lot to learn."

Wang Hao still couldn't let go when he saw me, and laughed, "Modesty is a virtue." Good work, I'm optimistic about you. The administration department is nothing more than two things, writing and doing, and if you specialize in writing, you will surpass many people. The position of deputy manager of our department is still vacant, and I won't tell you that Mr. Guo wanted to give me a deputy who could write, but there was no way, who told us to only pay lip service, haha, but after so many years, I haven't been able to find a suitable candidate, and now I can be regarded as a good seedling, you have to work hard! ”

His words made me a little flattered when I just entered the company for a year, although the company is not like the government units on seniority, but resume experience is still indispensable, I am the last to enter the company in the department, no matter others, a single Zhang Xiaoqi, with her academic diploma, work experience, plus infatuation with Wang Hao, if you know that Wang Hao has this idea, I don't know how much to hate me.

Thinking of this, I hurriedly excused myself and said: "No, no, Manager Wang, you are too awarded, I have just arrived in the company not long ago, I don't understand a lot of things, my ability to do my own job is good, thank you for the leadership so much to look up to me, I will work hard to repay your trust, this deputy manager really dare not think ......"

I saw that a little light in Wang Hao's eyes gradually dimmed, and I frowned unconsciously, "Don't shirk so quickly, and I don't want you to take office immediately, I just tell you that this is a good opportunity, I hope you can consider and grasp it in the future" He shook his head and looked at me with a wry smile, "You Xiao Li, if someone else was ecstatic and recommended himself, I didn't see you so modest and conceded."

I bit my lip, I didn't understand what he said, but why didn't he understand my embarrassment with his delicate mind? Perhaps everyone is blind when they start from their own point of view, and those skilled speculations on weekdays are just a last resort for one reason or another.

My excuse finally swept Wang Hao's interest, although we also had a ride and chatted while eating and chatting later, but his reaction was obviously not as excited and excited as before, and the meal gradually became a little tasteless.

After dinner, I said goodbye to Wang Hao, he wanted to send me, but I politely refused. Although he didn't insist too much, but the disappointment was overflowing, I sighed in my heart, since it is not possible, don't give any hope, otherwise it will hurt others and hurt yourself, after all, Wang Hao, as my boss, does not want him to be hurt too much because of me; And the relationship between the boss and the subordinates is the best shield at this time.

When I went to work the next day, I found that Wang Hao had big dark circles under his eyes. He looked at me and smiled helplessly: "I stayed up all night last night, working boy, my life is hard."

I knew it, but I didn't move, "Do you need to make a cup of coffee?" ”

"No, the morning meeting hasn't started yet, I'll squint for five minutes, you can help me send this report to Mr. Guo's office"

I nodded, took it, and gently brought the door to the door, nine times out of ten, life is unsatisfactory, the bitterness behind the glamorous, big and small characters are the same.

Knocking on the door of Mr. Guo's office, he was talking to someone on the phone, and he could see that he was in a bad mood and his face was solemn. I didn't expect to encounter such embarrassment when I entered the boss's office for the first time, and I was a little embarrassed, and I didn't know what to do for a while.

When I was hesitating, Mr. Guo saw me and motioned for me to put down the information. I breathed a sigh of relief, hurriedly handed the report to him, and was about to turn away, when I suddenly heard him say to the person on the phone:

"Chen Ran, don't forget the agreement between us at the beginning, now Kai Ran is in trouble, I hope you can come back."

I froze under my feet, and the name "Chen Ran", once again intruded into my life without warning.

It was a very strange feeling, I didn't know him, I had never met him, but every time I heard his name, I couldn't help but feel a wave of sadness. It was as if he had fallen into a whirlpool, screaming for help but no one answered, falling little by little, never to be seen again.

I was amazed at such an uncontrollable emotion, and suddenly remembered the strange dream I had before I arrived at Kairan at the beginning of last year, and the heartache and grief at that time were the same as now, except that after joining Kairan, that kind of dream never appeared again. However, dreams are dreams after all, although I wondered at the beginning, I let go of it after a long time, life is not easy, I am walking on thin ice in the wind and frost of Kairan, and I have long lost the girlish heart of the original "dream of Wushan in the sea".

For a moment, my thoughts were so long that I couldn't help but be stunned. It wasn't until Mr. Guo put down the phone and looked at me suspiciously that I realized that I was still in the boss's office, said sorry repeatedly, and quickly gathered my mind and walked out quickly.

Chen Ran

I put down the phone, opened the drawer, and pulled out the photo that had been placed in the innermost part.

It was taken when Kairan was established, and Guo Kai and I stood in front of today's Kairan Chemical Building, unveiling the company, full of spring breeze and full of pride. Time flies, but after only six years, I am thousands of miles away from it, and the photos of the infinite scenery at that time have long been dusted in the corners.

Guo Kai told me on the phone that Kairan was in trouble and wanted me to go back, and I said that I would consider it.

Will I go back? Should I go back? Actually, what I want to think about is this question. Kairan is in trouble, not to mention the original agreement with Guo Kai, just by virtue of Kairan's meaning to me, I should go back.

But why am I so indecisive, as if there is an endless unknown waiting for me ahead, making me hesitate and making me wander, is it because of Xiaojuan? I do not know. We've already established ourselves in H City, and she's such a strong personality, if I stay away again, will she agree?

However, for me at that time, no matter how many inexplicable emotions I had, it was only out of worry about Xiaojuan, who would have thought that what was waiting for me would be the vicissitudes of life.

I had a dream that night. In my dream, I seemed to have come to the edge of a canyon, the mountain air was quiet, the birds were singing endlessly, and I saw a woman in green standing on the edge of the cliff in front of me, her long hair fluttering, only a jade hairpin felt, her clothes rose in the wind, but her face was not real, and a huge black mole loomed behind her jade neck. I was about to step forward, but I saw the woman leap and jump off the cliff. I was shocked, I woke up from my sleep, only to find that the pillow was wet with tears, and I actually cried in my dream?

The dream was so clear that I was a little depressed the next day. Who is the woman in green in the dream? Why did she jump off a cliff? And why did I cry for her? For the first time in my life, I was never bothered by dreams, and I felt like I didn't know myself anymore.

However, the matter of Kairan must be decided after all.

When I got home from work in the evening, I officially proposed to Xiaojuan about returning to Kairan. Unexpectedly, Xiaojuan did not react as violently as I expected, she lazily leaned on the sofa to listen to me, and then said:

"Chen Ran, I have understood in the past few years, I can tie your people, I can't tie your heart, I knew today, why bother in the first place, you go back"

I looked at Xiao Juan, who was expressionless, and there was always an indescribable smell under the delicate makeup. In the past two years in H City, Xiaojuan has lived up to the high expectations of the leader and worked hard, and the fireworks on her body have long been gone, replaced by the shrewdness and practice of the workplace, I don't know whether to be happy or sad for her change, but I feel that there is a sense of alienation between the two people who are gradually drifting apart.

Xiaojuan took out a cigarette from the handbag next to her and lit it, when did she learn to smoke? I took off her cigarette and said with a frown, "When did it start?" Smoking is not good for your health. ”

"Hey, Chen Ran, don't be so pretentious, your men are still alive and well, I'll smoke one occasionally, and it's not in the way." Xiao Juan skillfully exhaled a puff of cigarette, her eyebrows and eyes were lifeless in the mist, "You know, I'm under a lot of pressure at work right now."

She had a cigarette butt between her fingers and her eyes staring blankly at the ceiling and muttering to herself, as if to say it to me, as if to herself.

I was speechless, in this international metropolis where women are men and men are animals, of course I understand Xiaojuan's difficulty.

"If you are stressed, you will rest and rest, why fight so hard, we don't need you to make money to support your family now," I persuaded softly.

Xiaojuan closed her eyes and smiled bitterly, "Chen Ran, don't be so naïve, okay?" ”

"Do you think the Health Bureau is run by your family, and you will rest when you say you will rest? How many people are staring at my position, and people want you to rest, and everything will be extinguished when you rest...... I also want to rest, but I can't dare more~! Xiaojuan sighed, as if she wanted to pour out all the resentment in her heart.

"Now you're leaving again, you don't have children, your husband is leaving, you're alone in this homeless place, you still tell me to rest, why do you rest, face these four walls in the house all day? Then I'm not just tired, I'm going crazy" Xiaojuan gradually became excited, and her voice was hoarse and trembling.

I understand her struggle, but what can I do? We have a life of abundance, and we don't need to work so hard to be satisfied. The companionship that Xiaojuan wants, I have given as much as I can. As for the child, didn't she voluntarily postpone it for the sake of her career?

Xiaojuan is becoming more and more of an unsolvable puzzle in my eyes.

Thinking that my kindness actually involved such a bunch of haves and don'ts, my heart was also irritable, "You know I didn't mean that." ”

"It doesn't matter what it means. Let's go, although you have been here for the past two years, my heart is still thinking about Kai Ran's mess, and I don't let you go back, I am afraid that one day in the future you will complain about me, but as if I have become a drag on you, I can't afford this notoriety......"

Xiao Juan was already a little speechless at this time, and my heart was getting colder and colder in this fruitless exchange.

Maybe it was Xiaojuan's indifferent and arrogant attitude that angered me, or maybe we both felt that we needed a little space and time, in short, that night, I probably explained to her Kairan's current situation and Guo Kai's repeated requests, and we all made a decision quickly.

A week later, I boarded a flight to City C.

When the grinding of the ears and temples can no longer give the other person light and heat, the tension of distance will take you to where you need to go.