Li Yue'er

When I said "I understand" to Zhang Xiaoqi in the most supple voice, I saw her skeptical expression, and her eyes as if she wanted to see me thoroughly, and finally nodded in my low-eyed posture, and turned around with a sentence of "Hello do it yourself".

I sat down and continued to eat, very strange, at the moment I was surprisingly calm, as if Zhang Xiaoqi's aggressiveness was just a soap opera that I did not participate in, she played her red dust road, I lived my life outside the world, and the occasional conflict was just a slip and bump together when they walked with each other, and standing up was still their own world.

Maybe it's because you don't know you have any more options, or maybe you don't want to make any other choices right now. Because of Chen Ran, I never had the slightest idea of leaving Kairan; And their own specialization, only the Administration Department has a foothold; Under such a premise, in the face of Zhang Xiaoqi's occasional aggressiveness, I turned a blind eye. I already have Chen Ran, Wang Hao and Pleasant Goat are also kind to me, and most of my colleagues are calm, what reason do I have to demand that everyone be close to me?

Thinking like this, I don't think it's a big deal, Zhang Xiaoqi and I, if we are destined to only return to the road and return to the bridge like this, then we can't force it.

The next day was Friday, and I was happy to see my father again and only have to work one day today. As soon as I woke up in the morning, I received a text message from Chen Ran, "Girl, are you up?" I'll pick you up from work later. My heart was like a warm ironing, and I instantly felt like a princess who was favored by the prince, full of happiness and sweetness. Chen Ran's careful gentleness makes me both moved and sighed, whenever I see colleagues in the company take my lover's car to and from work every day, I have also imagined that one day my marriage, like all ordinary couples, my lover, he drove me to pick me up, I sat with him openly, happily chatting about the day's work and life, naturally hugging and kissing goodbye, counting the years that only belong to us. Such a beautiful place, now really in front of my eyes, not unimpressed, I am just a 24-year-old little woman who tasted love for the first time, meet such a warm man, hold you in the palm of your hand, take care of you in the heart, meticulous, patient and gentle, so how can I let go of his hand? How can you not be willing to risk your life and choose this seemingly endless road? Please allow my little heart to be secretly happy, even if I understand very clearly that this seemingly intoxicating tenderness can never bloom in the sun, and I can't really stand in the crowd like other colleagues and wait for my lover to arrive, but at least at this moment, when I opened my eyes and heard Chen Ran say to me, get up quickly, I will send you to work, just like a husband's ordinary gentle whispers to his wife, I really feel that even if it is a dream, I am willing to wake up.

So I quickly went back, without hesitation, without worrying, and with a simple word "good", it was all my joy and joy. If we're all trying to weave a dream for each other, then work with each other and walk in lockstep, at least to make the dream seem as fulfilling as possible. After all, we all know that the end of the dream will be pale and colorless, reality. And at this moment, now, let's leave it alone for the time being, so that the dream can grow longer, and then longer, is the goal of our unremitting struggle at the moment.

When I sat next to Chen Ran for the first time as my lover, I suddenly realized that this time was misty through the clouds and the moon, and finally I came to my current state step by step. The past and the old things came one after another, and for the first time I walked with him, I felt that there were many intersections with each other in the murmuring of the embroidered river, and there were veins and veins flowing warmly in the reserved and shy; The second time I walked with him, the theory of chance under the night rain made the fate of brother and sister, and the taste of iron plate squid is still engraved in my heart; At this moment, in the three spring days of the grass and trees, he held the steering wheel with one hand and my hand with the other, the sun shone in from the window, cast on his broad arms and thick short hair, like a layer of gold dust, mottled and brittle like a person in a painting, smiling at me in the spring light. We looked at each other, as if time had stopped in this long bloom, the car passed like a fish under the rising sun, I rolled the window, stretched out my hand and touched the soft gentle wind raised by the body, there was a clear fragrance of grass and trees in my nose, and the morning mist, as if drunk. I raised my head, closed my eyes slightly, and let the warm light pass across my face, indescribably comfortable. Chen Ran's voice was as beautiful and gentle as magnetism, "Yue'er, are you happy?" ”

I slowly opened my eyes and stared at him with a smile, "Chen Ran, thank you for all this, I feel like I'm dreaming." ”

"You're not dreaming" Chen Ran shook my hand hard, "We're not dreaming, we're all really by each other's side at the moment" said and picked up my hand and stroked his face, "Do you feel it?" ”

I smiled shyly, nodded slightly, and retracted my hand a little embarrassed, "Concentrate on driving"

Chen Ran laughed out loud, and sighed, "Girl, you sit next to me, tell me how to concentrate on getting up"

There is a faint red glow flying, the flowers on the side of the road seem to be dancing in the wind, the flowers are red and bright until the red cheeks come up, I lowered my head slightly, let the broken hair of the sideburns itch in my ears for a while, and secretly looked at Chen Ran beside me, but the eyes that he had also seen were blazing, and his face was hot as if he was about to burn, and he didn't know how to answer for a while.

"My Yue'er is so cute" Chen Ran shook his head and smiled when he saw me like this, "I won't tease you, or when I come to the company later, everyone will think that you have drunk, and your face is so red" Haha smiled, continued, "Are you free on the weekend?" ”

I was still immersed in the shyness of being teased by him, and I shook my head unconsciously, and suddenly remembered that my father was coming, and hurriedly said, "Oh, by the way, my dad is coming, I have to accompany him." ”

"Oh~" Chen Ran's voice seemed to be a little hesitant, and after half a sound, he asked tentatively, "Do you need me to come forward?" ”

"Oh, huh, huh? No, no, no! I didn't seem to hear his words clearly, and when I understood, I immediately reflexively denied it on the spot, so fast that even I was stunned for a moment, and hurriedly added, "My dad saw you last time in County D,...... but the second half of the sentence was no longer able to say it anyway.

I saw that Chen Ran's eyes darkened for a moment, and a little light went out at the same time at the moment of rising, but it quickly covered the waves, and smiled slightly, "Ah, yes, he has seen me." After a long silence, he turned his head and showed me a warm smile again, "I'm going back to H City next weekend, I was going to take you out to play this weekend, but now it seems to be a coincidence, it doesn't matter, the coming day is long, we have time." As he spoke, he took my hand and kissed it lightly on his lips, repeating, "The coming day is long, the coming day is long", he did not look at me when he said this, but stared intently at the front of the road, as if to tell me, and seemed to be speaking to himself.

My heart was a little stunned for some reason, especially when I saw Chen Ran's reluctance to bear it. But I couldn't find a better excuse, and he asked me if I needed him to come forward. Do you need it? Absolutely! If he is just my boyfriend, if he is not already married, if he is not a married man, how I would like to take him to meet my family and introduce him generously to everyone, why don't I hope to stand by his side and accept the blessings of the world, but the reality is that these "ifs" are not true, he is already married, he is a married man, and his relationship with me, to put it bluntly, is the "extramarital affair" that the world criticizes and writes! "Extramarital affair" heh! These three short words, like a thousand pounds pressed on the body, the word "marriage" at the moment, has already revealed the "yes" and "no", I can accept such affection, just because of his true good, I am also willing to be the so-called "third party" in the world, even if I never thought of replacing his wife, but how can I let Chen Ran appear in front of the world related to me as a non-boss, I don't know, I don't have an answer, who can tell me the answer?

Everyone didn't speak for a while, walked through the intersection in front of them, and arrived at the company. Looking at it from afar, the four big characters of Kairan Chemical can already be glimpsed in the morning light, reminding us from time to time that the real world is close at hand. The twilight gradually dispersed, and the cars, horses, and pedestrians in front of us were all distinct, and Chen Ran and I walked together with joy and sorrow, as if it had come to an end.

Closing my eyes slightly, I quietly looked ahead and said, "Chen Ran, I'll just get off the side in front." ”

Chen Ran turned his head to look at me, only looked at me, silent, his eyes were uncertain, and he sighed slightly, "Do you have to be like this, Yue'er?" His voice was hoarse and lifeless, "It's okay for you to take a hitchhike if you meet by chance on the road."

The corners of my eyes were slightly sour, and I shook my head, "Chen Ran, between the vigorous and short-term and the safe and long-term, I would rather choose the latter." Your reason is not no, but should we explain everyone who sees us in this situation? People are terrible, I have already learned the power of the dragon spring on the tongue, and I really don't think there is any need to add unnecessary trouble. We're going to meet at the company after all, aren't we? This journey has made me cry with joy and gratitude, and it is because of its beauty that I am even more reluctant to let it leave me prematurely. If our prudence and caution can be exchanged for long-term stability, then what is the point of taking a few more steps and saying a few words less? I finally turned my head to stare at Chen Ran, and took the initiative to reach out and hold his hand, "Chen Ran, even if it is such a shady love, I want it to last a long time, do you understand?" ”

Chen Ran didn't speak, only held my hand back hard, I could feel his body trembling slightly, just trying his best to suppress it. From my point of view, there is a slight reddish wetness in his eyes, "The man has tears and does not flick, just because he has not reached the sad place", I understand his helplessness and powerlessness at this time, but I can't help it, this is what we have to face, isn't it? If we want to enjoy more, we must bear its burden, and since we already have more true feelings than others, we must bear the corresponding patience, gloom and unfreedom. This kind of truth, even I understand, Chen Ran, he won't not understand, maybe it is because he understands it again that he is so painful and gloomy.

Chen Ran lightly flicked the turn signal, and I saw that the speed of the car dashboard gradually slowed down, 40, 30, 20, and finally stopped at 0, and the car leaned firmly on the side of the road. Chen Ran turned around, took me into his arms, hugged me tightly, his fingers embedded in my long hair, caressing my heartache, after a long time, he sighed heavily in my ear, "Girl, I have wronged you." ”

Tears welled up in my eyes, and when I closed my eyes, my nose was filled with a cold aroma with a few wisps of tobacco. The fog outside the car has dissipated, the sun is not blocked, unscrupulously sprinkled ten thousand golden rays, I hugged him hard, in the beautiful spring C city street, the light can not shine on the street corner, hugging him tightly, greedily absorbing the breath of him who belongs to me in the next second will leave me, tears raining down in the continuous surging hope and despair.