Li Yue'er

When I received Chen Ran's text message, I had just hung his slippers. Last time, my father came over and accidentally wore the shoes he bought for Chen Ran, but after thinking about it, I decided to wash them again, so that the next time Chen Ran came, I would wear new shoes. At this moment, looking at the men's slippers spread out on the balcony, the dark brown leather glowing in the sun, I can't help but think of Chen Ran walking around my apartment wearing it, which is the casual and lazy appearance of the home, occasionally leaning on the sofa and flipping through a few magazines, or hugging me to watch a few TV, talking with or without a match, that scene, all evoke people's infinite reverie and yearning.

I smiled slightly, that's what home looks like, Chen Ran and I, like an ordinary couple, leaning on each other, quietly weaving our quiet years in the flowing years.

The text message rang on my phone, but I didn't go over to look at it immediately. I think I feel that since there is no news of Chen Ran, other information means to me that it is insignificant to be urgent or slow. At this moment, I was still immersed in my fantasies about Chen Ran and didn't want to wake up, until the continuous message ringtones followed, I reluctantly put away my thoughts, lazily rushed over to pick up the phone, opened it casually, and then saw a few lines of squares coming, "Yue'er, I have an urgent matter here and can't rush back to City C for the time being, the return time is to be determined, you have to take care of yourself, wait for me to go back." There is also a sentence, "no need to reply", to make a final summary and emphasis. And all of this comes from the sender I know all too well, Chen Ran.

For a moment, as if unbelievable, I exited the text message and reopened it, and so on several times, and the handwriting seemed to be embedded in the screen and locked my eyes. Only then did I realize that the silent squares were the most real, and the unreal seemed to be just my own imagination.

There was a sudden chaos in my heart, I felt as if I had fallen into a bottomless black hole, seeing the blue sky above my head shrinking inch by inch in front of my eyes, I raised my arms and shouted loudly, but I couldn't hear my own voice, the more anxious I was, the faster the blue at the entrance of the cave disappeared. I don't know what kind of emergency Chen Ran encountered suddenly, it seems that even making a phone call is a luxury, only hurriedly leaving such rough and hasty and vague words, and even the time to return to City C cannot be determined. Such a hectic and incomprehensible tone is too surprising, far from the usual Chen Ran, and the last sentence "no need to reply" makes this unfounded sentence even more confusing. I looked at the craggy squares like phantoms, as if I saw Chen Ran's eyes full of sadness that I had never seen before, and the black letters on a white background seemed to have a long hand, and they grabbed my neck and made me not breathe.

There is no need to reply to the letter, he must be with Sister Xiaojuan. There was a slight pain in my heart, I knew his inconvenience, and he also understood my sensitivity, because of this, Chen Ran had never expressed his concerns so bluntly, but today he made an exception for no reason. And compared to such an unspeakable embarrassment, what I want to know more at the moment is what happened to him! What is even more painful for me is the powerlessness and sadness that I know he is in trouble, but I can't even ask!

I'm worried about him, I'm worried about him.

Outside the window, the sun was thick, and the warm light was shining through the huge branches and leaves of the banyan tree. I looked at the men's slippers drying on the balcony and suddenly realized that the fantasy of the right talent was as ridiculous as the fantasy. One day, when Chen Ran can really wear these slippers and stand in front of me to spend a full moon with me, how much unpredictable time will he need to cross?

I spent the rest of the Saturday in such a state of confusion. When lying in bed, looking back at the ups and downs of this day, I suddenly realized that life is really like a drama on the stage, the curtain opens, the palace business horn feathers, long and short, constantly colliding with your internal organs, so that people never know whether the expression on the face in the next second is laughter or tears.

In fact, in countless such silent nights, when the bustle and noise of the day receded, when Chen Ran's figure and voice disappeared into the hustle and bustle of the present world, occasionally I would think of the future. Just like today's scene, one blind date after another under the warm intestines of the ancient road, there will always be unexpected accidents, unspeakable helplessness, and all plans will be disrupted. Is it like this to live incognito all your life, to be an alien who has no lover and no marriage in the eyes of the world? Or do you always need to be prepared for every bit of the future, just because you love each other and are not sure at all? I do not know; Maybe I know, but I don't want to think about it; Maybe I don't want to think about it, it's just that Chen Ran and I have come to this point, we are so deeply attached to each other, I can't do without him......

In the days without Chen Ran, the embarrassing blind date and this ominous text message finally made me lose sleep on the first night he left.

But strangely, I didn't cry, even if the sentence "no reply" stinged my eyes slightly, I didn't touch the most secret sorrow like before, and tears rained down in an instant. It seems that I studied well and adapted well during this time. In that case, why can't I go one step further and learn to understand and be considerate? You have to believe that Chen Ran is not such a person who has no explanation, he must have had a last resort in such a hurry; Believe that if you have the slightest chance, he will tell you everything and give you peace of mind. You have to believe that in this world, apart from your father, there is no second person who doesn't want you to worry more than him!

Yes, Li Yue'er, go to sleep in peace, since you have chosen this road, you must understand that this road must be more wind, frost, rain and snow than flowers. "Love is eternal endurance", with Chen Ran's character, he has to bear no less than you, what you have to do is to hold his hand steadily, take every step as a goal, step on it with him, and then connect every footprint into the long time of your life.

Outside the window, the moon and stars were scarce, and the breeze stirred the white curtains beside the bed from time to time, like a soothing nocturne quietly flowing into my heart, and I finally fell asleep in the continuous self-blessing. A dreamless night.

The next morning I was woken up by the rapid ringing of the telephone, and I glanced sleepily at the wall clock, but who called me so early at five o'clock in the morning? Because of last night's insomnia, the headache at the moment, I was about to continue to sleep regardless of the head, suddenly there seemed to be a flash of light in my head, I opened my eyes suddenly, grabbed the bedside mobile phone, the name of "Chen Ran" kept jumping on the screen, I looked at the name I thought about day and night, and was stunned for a few seconds, and waited for the bell to ring stubbornly again, before I came back to my senses and picked it up in a hurry.

"Hey, Chen Ran?!" I couldn't wait to shout into the phone, "Why call me so early?" What happened? Why can't you come back? ”

There was no sound on the other end of the phone, I couldn't help frowning slightly, looking at the screen still showing that the call was on, I could even hear a faint breathing sound coming from the earpiece, it was Chen Ran's breath, I was extremely sure; But at the moment, I couldn't be sure what had happened to him, and even his breath was more tired than ever. The corners of my eyes were hot, and I asked tentatively, but my voice was much quieter, "Chen Ran, is that you?" ”

"Yue'er......" Chen Ran finally spoke, but that voice, why did I sound like ten years old? I didn't have time to think about it, Chen Ran's weak voice seemed to be wrapped in endless sorrow, even through the long radio waves, I could feel the weight of the short words, "Xiaojuan's father, had a car accident yesterday...... Gone ......."

I froze instantly.

Sister Xiaojuan's father, that is, Chen Ran's father, is gone? Just yesterday? In the last twenty-four hours?!

How so, how could it be!

No wonder he was in such a hurry yesterday and didn't know why, no wonder he said he didn't know the return date, no wonder he told me not to reply, it turned out that he had encountered such a flying disaster of life and death! It has only been a little more than a day since he left City C, and he has experienced such a huge change and blow! How did he survive? Who can understand his grief? And I, Li Yue'er, can't share his worries, but I'm still thinking about it here, I really hate myself.

He must have stayed up all night, facing such a disaster, the head of the family, the pillar of the family, he had to run all the time to take care of everything in addition to mourning; He must have been physically and mentally exhausted, suddenly changed, lost a loved one, and had to take care of everyone else. But even so, he didn't forget to find an opportunity, choose a time, and call me to make me feel at ease; He knew my sensitivities, he knew my apprehensions, so he would not hesitate to take any risks...... Oh, Li Yue'er, what else is not satisfied? People say that adversity sees the truth, but the reality is that everything is fine with you, but Chen Ran is experiencing the suffering of the world, and in this case, he is still worried about your little care...... Warm tears overflowed from my eyes, falling on the quilt in front of me one by one, and instantly fainted into white wounded flowers. I clutched the quilt tightly, desperately suppressing my crying, the lonely cold wind rattling in the earpiece, in this lonely corner of City C at 5 o'clock in the morning, I seemed to be able to see Chen Ran thousands of miles away, his strong figure covered with a layer of dust in the darkness before dawn.

After a long time, Chen Ran's voice sounded again, full of apologies and unspeakable pain, "Yue'er, I may not go back so soon." ”

"Well, that's okay." At this moment, in the face of life and death, how can I still be selfish and have a love for my children, wiping a handful of tears, I said into the microphone, "Chen Ran, I'm fine, you have to mourn by the way, I know you must be sad, but you must take care of yourself, you must hold on, okay?" Sister Xiaojuan, and aunt, they all need you now" I took a deep breath, "Don't worry about me, I will wait for you to come back in C City"

"Okay, I promise you." Chen Ran's voice was still tired, as if it was endlessly dazed and helpless, "Yue'er, I still want to tell you that I mentioned to you before, and I want to bring you the surprise when I go back," he paused, as if he had exhausted all his strength, but it was still a hoarse and helpless voice and said slowly,

"Probably gone...... Sorry ......"