Two days after the military training, Hong Tianchao suddenly wanted to invite the people in our dormitory to go out and rub it on a whim, saying that it was to contact and contact the feelings, and the comrades of 302 basically agreed except for Qiao Chu, who had always been withdrawn, who refused Hong Tianchao's request.

The place where Hong Tianchao invited guests was the place where I hit Tan Dahai last time, this rich second generation did not take us to the luxurious hotel to show off, but chose the barbecue stall at the school gate, which seemed to be very close to the people, of course, Fang Quan complained that he was slamming the door.

Hong Tianchao and Fang Quan seem to have become a daily routine in the bedroom, at first the two still had the urge to quarrel and quarrel and might move, but gradually it seems to be regarded as a kind of fun, just moving their mouths without moving their hands has become the most tacit thing between the two.

Hong Tianchao picked up a skewer of roasted kidneys on the table, took a bite, and said with a bright smile: "Dude, I'm afraid that you poor boys haven't been to a five-star hotel, and when the time comes, you will be dumbfounded and can't move, and you will be ashamed to take me with you, so if you think about it, this place is still suitable for you, if you feel wronged, at most next time I will take you to see a higher-grade hotel." ”

"Brother Chao, I heard that those big hotels have special services, take us there when the time comes, do you want to arrange it by the way?" Wu Fatzi said with a very obscene smile.

This fat man belongs to the kind of typical person who loves to take advantage, and he will interject this kind of thing when he sees the cracks, and he is particularly timid, but fortunately, his mouth is very sweet, and the people in the dormitory basically don't hate him except for Qiao Chu, but this fat man faces us and Qiao Chu is two faces, and he is not less against Qiao Chu, I think this is an aura incompatibility.

Every time I see him, I think of Luo Xiaoyan in the past, and wonder if this fat man is also a handsome guy if he loses weight, anyway, after seeing such a miracle as Luo Xiaoyan with my own eyes, I no longer dare to murmur about the potential of a fat man.

Zhou Hu patted the fat man's head and said: "As soon as your little eyes turn, I know what you are thinking, but this is really said to my heart, Brother Chao, if you go to play, it is better to take the fat man with me, so my physique is more than enough to be a bodyguard for you or something." ”

Hong Tianchao glanced at me and Fang Quan and said: "You are not qualified to be a bodyguard, when can you let Fang Quan use his hands to knock you down with both hands, no matter how bad it is, you have to win Chen Rang, but I don't think you have any hope in this life." ”

Zhou Hu suddenly had a bitter face, he loves sports, and he also has a certain obsession with martial arts, so after seeing Fang Quan show a few hands, he has always had to worship Fang Quan as a teacher, Fang Quan did not admit it, this girl just shouted a master, and learned the shamelessness of Wu Fatzi, over time, Fang Quan also acquiesced, and occasionally taught a few tricks, but now, he still can't beat Fang Quan with one hand.

Speaking of Hong Tianchao, although this girl has a squirrel, but in her bones she is not blindly above the top, except for Qiao Chu, who has always been unsociable, others are also taken care of, what do you need in the dormitory, Hong Tianchao is also the first to take out the money, although there is a certain amount of vanity, but no matter what, it is a kind animal in the second ancestor, at least in my impression, it is much more pleasing than Yi Xiaoge and Jia Zizhou's kind of smile and knife, Like Yan Qingqing, it belongs to that kind of heroic style.

I muttered to myself, "What a lot of vegetables, I would have brought my family safely if I knew about it, she must be hungry now." ”

As soon as I finished saying this, Hong Tianchao and the three of them told me to shut up in unison, asking me to show less affection in front of them, and by the way, they also complained about me and Fang Quan, saying that it was shameless to bring my daughter-in-law to school.

I went around my head and said that I like to sprinkle a handful of dog urine to support you, Zhou Hu and Wu Fatzi didn't dare to make a mistake, just looked at me sadly, after Hong Tianchao scolded his mother, Fang Quan scolded back, I opened the beer, and everyone drank it again.

Because he didn't bring his family, he drank very openly, and even Fang Quan, who had never been very good at drinking, drank four or five bottles for the first time, and his whole face was red, but I could see that this wolf cub was really happy tonight, and after he was full of wine and food, Wu Fatzi proposed that everyone talk about their most profound things in the past, which is the most suitable for the current drink, so Wu Fatzi's proposal was not opposed by anyone.

The first one to talk about was Hong Tianchao, and he first reminded: "I'm talking about a comedy, so you must laugh after listening to it, otherwise you won't be on the show." ”

After everyone nodded unanimously, Hong Tianchao lit a cigarette, took a puff and said: "The old-fashioned story, first love, a girl in junior high school, before telling this story, let me briefly introduce myself, you also know, I am a rich second generation, so there are many beautiful girls around me since I started studying, but since I was a child, I have not liked beautiful women very much, especially the kind of people who like to be coquettish and pretend to be pitiful, I am the most disgusted, because my mother is such a woman, with a big belly into a rich man's home, The wife of the family couldn't stand this blow, crazy, and now she is still in a mental hospital, and my mother is even less treated by this family, and she was pointed at the back spine and scolded the vixen, and later gave birth to me, and died inexplicably, saying that it was suicide, in fact, who knows, anyway, when you die, it is the way to hang yourself, I was the first to find it, and the body was dangling in front of me, I was still young at the time, and I didn't remember it well, and I even felt that my mother's death was a relief. ”

"It's time to get back to the topic, my first love, called Zhang Luling, the name has the taste of a fox spirit as soon as I hear it, but in fact, people are very simple, at least I thought so at the time, when I was in the third year of junior high school, one day I suddenly felt that my life was too fucked, so I went to the rooftop to smoke, thought of my mother, and thought about making a phone call, but found that there was no acquaintance on the side of King Yama, so I stood on the top floor of the school and looked down, thinking that if I jumped, I could reunite with my fox spirit mother, Anyway, not many people care if my unknown mongrel dies, so I just hesitate to jump or not. ”

"Just when I hesitated, I heard a girl crying more miserably than me, I was a little angry, thinking that this can't bear it, I finally hurt the spring and autumn and seek death and life once, this can also compete with me? I turned to look over, not far away, a flower squatted there crying like a granddaughter who gave my grandfather a funeral, and I felt that this injured little cat cat was very appetizing to me, at least let me see a little hope in despair, it turned out that someone was worse than me, and instantly found a reason to live. ”

I squatted next to her, lit a cigarette and watched him cry, pretending to be deep This set of girls has been tried and tested repeatedly, I used this method on I don't know how many big-chested and brainless girls, that girl saw me looking at her, she cried loudly, her voice was almost hoarse, and she looked at me with pear blossoms and rainy eyes, my dream since childhood was to save the world, and it was not ambiguous to pull out a knife to help each other or something, and she was a little embarrassed, so she shouted at her, who bullied her Young Master Ben helped her chop that person, She said a person's name to me, the same school, I must know, after knowing the name and the class, I killed it, and directly pulled the turtle grandson out of the class, threw it down to the second floor, and then killed it back to the rooftop, and told her that it was settled, she stopped crying, and smiled at me, and asked me for a cigarette to smoke, mom, I thought it was an old smoker, so I gave it to her, and it turned out to be just a waste of tobacco, how can my brother's Great China be three dollars a piece, I felt wasted, so I snatched the cigarette, She looked at me with wide eyes again, and cried again as if she had been robbed of a toy, and I was annoyed, so I gagged it with my mouth. ”

Speaking of this, Hong Tianchao paused, and I couldn't help but ask, "And then?" ”

Hong Tianchao lit another cigarette, and then smiled: "Then? And then it's together, half a year, I'm almost tired of being with her, of course, I haven't crossed the thunder pool half a step, her kind of chick I kiss a mouth to feel guilty, let alone touch her, she is very kind, when you meet kittens and dogs, you will take in hundreds of stray cats in just half a year, I rented her a big warehouse, and helped her take care of these kittens and puppies every day, and even felt that she was a good person, and I was thinking about such a little girl who was not smart and a little stupid, even if she did bad things, It's not bad enough to make people sad, and then I, a person who is a little withdrawn and a little pessimistic, really wanted to marry her, and cut off relations with some indiscreet women for her to quit smoking and drinking, he didn't like me to fight, I was beaten and didn't fight back, she wanted me to study better, so I changed my sex and studied hard, she wanted anything, I tried my best to satisfy her, and I almost plucked the moon in the sky and gave it to her. ”

"Half a year later, it happened to be her birthday, I watched an idol drama at the time, and unconsciously substituted myself into it, and wanted to propose to her on a whim, so I asked for a sum of money from my old son who had never treated me as a son, and he didn't give it, so I stole it, not much money, 50,000, just enough to buy a diamond ring, after skipping class and buying it back, she said that she and her friends were celebrating her birthday outside, so I didn't have to wait for her, I verbally agreed, but I still waited for her at the door of her house, thinking about giving him a surprise, and waited until the middle of the night, She arrived at the door of the house drunk, and she was followed by the unlucky ghost who was beaten by me last time, the two kissed at the stairs, and I was squatting in the grass, bitten by mosquitoes, dumbfounded, the problem is that Zhang Luling is also very active, when I am with her, the most is to kiss, the unlucky ghost actually kissed and put his hand into her clothes, she didn't stop it, I thought it was really fucked up at the time, I didn't understand what happened to the women in this world, and sure enough, none of the beautiful women are not green tea bitch? ”

"The grandson looked like he was underwhelmed, I didn't go out at the time, because she said she didn't like barbarians who could only fight, and then she watched her take the unlucky ghost upstairs, and she didn't come down all night, so I stayed down all night, and found a lot of reasons to convince myself, saying that the two were just drinking tea upstairs and chatting about dreams, and nothing else was done, and the next morning, after the unlucky ghost came out, I went home, and she texted me and found a lot of reasons, just for the last two words to break up, I'm thinking about breaking up, then I'm going to break up, so if it's like this, am I still begging you to give me another chance? ”

"That period of time was a mess, I was thinking, was it because I was too stupid or Zhang Luling's acting skills were too good, maybe the unlucky ghost was too clever, during that time, the friends around me were persuaded, I couldn't listen, and in the end, it was Yan Qingqing's girl who gave me a slap before I suddenly came to my senses, and finally figured it out, a man, if you want to love someone, you must love yourself well, you don't even love yourself, who the fuck will love you?"

"I washed my face in the mirror, shaved my beard, got a small flat head, and then held a diamond ring in my left hand and a watermelon knife in my right hand, and ran back to school with a fierce attitude, and found the pair of dog men and women who were in love with each other, and stuffed the ring into Zhang Luling's mouth in front of the unlucky ghost, and after letting her swallow it, I took the unlucky ghost up to the fourth floor with a knife, and asked him to jump down by himself, but if he didn't jump, I kicked him down."

After the story was finished, Hong Tianchao looked at our group of people, and suddenly cracked his mouth and smiled: "Hey, you bastards, why haven't you laughed after listening to a comedy for a long time, but cried?" ”