Hao Junqi finished talking about the bits and pieces that happened to her in the eighteen years of our separation, and it was already past three o'clock in the morning.

Hao Junqi's voice sounded strange. Maybe Hao Junqi was extremely sad, her face was terrifyingly pale.

In the middle of the night, there was silence. Occasionally, the sound of a car speeding down the road can be heard.

My tears flowed silently.

In the process of narrating, Hao Junqi cried several times, so that she could not continue her narration. I advised her to rest, saying that there would be opportunities in the future, but she disagreed, and she must finish it. She said she simply remembered it all at once, so that she could never touch it again.

It can be seen that memories are such a painful thing for Hao Junqi.

Hao Junqi endured no less pain than my patients who lay on the operating table for four hours of surgery.

At least the patient was "cared for" by anesthetics during the operation, and Hao Junqi did not have any "care".

The patient may be confused during the operation, but Hao Junqi is very conscious.

Thus, after telling the story, Hao Junqi seemed to be seriously ill.

And I got up many times, walked to the windowsill, and looked at the silent night sky outside.

I can't tell how uncomfortable my heart is, and I can't tell how fragile my emotions are. If you feel a little sentimental, tears will flow.

"Junqi, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I didn't know you would suffer so much. I, I really don't know what to say. I choked up and couldn't go on.

"Brother, don't be sad, everything is in the past. Heaven has given me hardships, and by the way, it has also given me strength. Hao Junqi wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

"But you know, I've been looking for you. I've had a hard time, you know? As you might expect, I didn't go anywhere else, and I came straight to Yangjiang as soon as I graduated from university. I've been waiting, because for me, you're gone overnight, and I don't have anything else to do but wait. You can go to Hua'an to find me, and I don't know where to look for you. I can only wait in Yangjiang. Because I firmly believe that Yangjiang is your hometown, and you will come back no matter what. But, after all, it was my fault. Brother didn't keep his promise, and Brother didn't get to see you the following summer. Brother has always felt guilty about this. Brother has been guilty for eighteen years. I said.

"I knew my brother would feel guilty, and the last thing I wanted was my brother guilty. I don't resent my brother at all, I know that my brother must have a reason for not coming. ”

"Don't you think that your brother will forget about the countryman when he becomes a city person?" I think back to Hao Junqi's concerns when she was a child.

"I doubted it, but in the end I was determined. My impression of my brother will not. Because, my impression of my brother never thought he was from the city. He said that he was born in the East Gate and that he was a native of the East Gate. Hao Junqi's tears flowed silently down her cheeks.

I held out my hand. Then the hand froze in the air, and after a second, the hand was still stretched forward. I wiped the tears from Hao Junqi's face with the back of my hand.

"That summer, because my parents renovated the house assigned by the school, no matter how I begged them, they didn't take me to the East Gate, and I hadn't reached the time when I could go to the East Gate independently, and when we went to the East Gate in the third year, we saw a large body of water." I was immersed in the memories, "Zhu Jinshan told us that you and your father disappeared overnight. I was really desperate. But, you know what? The old village chief's son did not die, he only fainted for a while. He didn't have anything at all. ”

Hao Junqi's eyes widened: "How can this be?" How so?! My father was convinced that he had killed the village chief's son, so for so many years, we never dared to come back. You know, how much we've suffered for this. How is this possible? My poor father, who had lived in fear all the years since he escaped. ”

"Could it be that you have been back to Yangjiang for so many years, and you don't know about it? You haven't even gone back to the east gate to see? "This time it was my turn to be surprised.

"Yes. I don't know, and I didn't go to the east gate. I want to go, I dream of going, but I can't, on the one hand, this is my father's explanation, and on the other hand, I don't know what will happen to the old village chief's family. I don't tell my brother that in the eight years since I returned to Yangjiang, I have been avoiding people from our hometown. ”

"Junqi - you've endured too many difficulties. Why did God treat you like this? I said.

"No, why did God treat us like this?" Hao Junqi is faint and resentful.

That's how everything changed. The change in the world is so absurd. ”

And how many people are suffering because of this change. Brother, it would be nice if my father hadn't fled. Hao Junqi's voice suddenly became ethereal, as if floating from the distance.

"But there are no ifs in life."

"yes. God likes to tease people so much. ”

"What I can't accept is," I said, "that in the six years I've been back in Yangjiang, it's clear that you're also in Yangjiang, and it's likely that we've passed by many times, but God won't give us the slightest bit of information." ”

"Maybe the pen that God used to tease the common people has written in the notebook a long time ago, eighteen years."

"Maybe."

We were deep in thought.

When I came back to my senses, I asked, "Junqi, in which hospital was Wu Shifu treated in the accident, is it our surgery?" ”

"It's the Department of Surgery of the Chinese Medicine Hospital. Is my brother in a TCM hospital? ”

"I'm in Yangjiang Hospital. Why don't you send us to the hospital? ”

"I only found out about this after Wu Shifu's accident. It is estimated that an ambulance took him to the Chinese medicine hospital. The people in Yuzhuang Village helped to make a phone call. ”

"Hey." I sighed.

"Actually, it doesn't matter which hospital you send to. Intracranial hemorrhage. The head was twice as swollen. Surgery doesn't do anything. Hao Junqi didn't understand the meaning of my words.

"But if we had come to Yangjiang Hospital, we would have met two years ago. There are a lot of things that brother can help. Because, I will be present for any such surgery. ”

"yes. If my brother is there, if my brother is the attending doctor, maybe we will meet when I go to the hospital to visit Wu Shifu. But I haven't been to the People's Hospital in the past six years, and I don't know how many times I've been there to find my brother before. Qi Zhengzhe became a vegetative person, and Hao Jia came to me, so I never took the initiative to inquire again. ”

"The main thing is that you're already disheartened." I say.

"I can't tell what the mentality is, although there are still expectations, but there is no much luxury, more passive waiting. Even in the past six years, no matter which day I walk through the whole city as before, I can meet my brother in advance. However, didn't my brother say that there are no ifs in life. ”

"yes." I sighed deeply.

"Brother, don't be sad. Didn't we meet? Heaven still gave us a chance. Really, as long as I can see my brother, I'm satisfied. What scares me the most is that I will never see my brother again in this life. Hao Junqi comforted me.

"But how I wish I could be by your side in your most difficult times."

"Aren't you already with me now? I'm really content. ”

"Junqi—"

"Brother—"

…… It was four o'clock in the morning when I walked out of Hao Junqi's house that night. Hao Junqi insisted on sending me to the intersection.

At the intersection, we stood together for a few seconds, and I had the urge to hold Hao Junqi in my arms, but in the end, I just waved at her, and didn't even say "good night" to her.

I watched Hao Junqi disappear into the alleyway.

The streets are very silent. There was not a single person or car on the street leading to the Yangjiang Bridge. The night breeze was cool. I walked slowly, feeling like everything that happened today, no, technically last night, was like a dream.

My heart is clogged. Why do two people have been looking for each other, but when they meet, they are all in ruins? What is shaping our fate? Who is going to set us up for such a fate? What erodes our inherent sense of innocence, happiness, and mutual understanding?

I don't know what I'm going to do next. I'm so scared to wake up tomorrow and sit in bed in a daze, not knowing what to do next. I don't know how I can heal Hao Junqi's wound, no, no, the wound can't be healed, it should be how to soothe her wounded heart.

What should I do?

I don't know.

What the hell should I do?

I don't know.

And also. What can you do?

I don't know.

What do you say you can do?

I don't really know.

Walking to the edge of the square, I sat in the car for a while. When I got home, I sat on the couch for a long time. I just sat there. I felt like I was thinking something, and when I thought about it, I realized that I wasn't thinking about anything. Just sat dumbfounded.

Later, I realized that I was really entangled in what capacity I should get along with Hao Junqi.

It stands to reason that this is not a problem at all: of course we should get along as lovers.

The concave ring on the middle finger of Hao Junqi's right hand flashed again and again to prevent men from invading Hao Junqi, which has already shown that both the convex ring and the concave ring are maintaining the promise we made to each other eighteen years ago.

"Then my brother and I will be of the same heart and never give up, okay?" Hao Junqi grabbed my hand, "Brother, are you willing?" ”

"Of course my brother does. Come, I'll give you this oversized plum blossom. The two of us will always be united and will never leave each other. ”

"Well, forever with one heart and never abandoned." Hao Junqi took the flower in my hand, she put the flower in front of her nose and smelled it, "Brother, the plum blossom is very fragrant and fragrant, you smell it." ”

Hao Junqi ignored her father's opposition and racked her brains to work in the Yangjiang Civil Affairs Bureau; No matter how fragile my father's heart will be, I have to work in Yangjiang Renming Hospital, for what, just to fulfill the promise I made back then.

Therefore, we must get along as lovers.