As the door slammed shut behind me, I knew I would never return to this place again. There's a good chance I won't even come back to the lakeside community.

This door also separated me and Xu Mo in two worlds—two worlds that never crossed paths again.

I wasn't sad, it was just that the alcohol was making my head hurt. It is likely that there are also sequelae left by the supernatural flash of the flesh ring.

Walking down the street with a suitcase and a suitcase, I felt a sense of relief. Divorce is a relief for Xu Mo and the end of a nightmare, but for me, isn't it also a relief?

This kind of marriage because of the father's heart is wrong from beginning to end.

……

I found a random hostel to stay at that night. Needless to say, lying in bed I thought about a lot of things. Of course, the most important thing to think about is how to deal with father and mother.

I don't know if my father's fragile heart will survive. But I know that I have done my righteous.

The next day, I returned to Yangjiang Hospital at half past nine. Wang Hao went to various wards on my behalf to check the wards. The surgeon's office is overcrowded. My colleagues were busy answering questions from the families of patients who came to consult. Seeing me return, my colleagues hurriedly nodded to me. Wang Hao is writing medical records.

I walked up to him, "What's the matter, Xiao Wang?" ”

"Teacher, you're back." Wang Hao put down the pen that was writing the medical record and stood up from his position, "There is no situation. ”

"Show me the medical records."

Wang Hao handed me the medical record book. The record in the medical record book is exactly the same as it was the previous day.

"Good." I feel very tired. I know it's because I didn't get a good night's sleep.

"Teacher, the other sick numbers are fine. It's 19 beds, and the body temperature can't come down. ”

"I know that. The esophagus of the 19th bed has been perforated and penetrated into the lungs and caused a lung abscess, so there will be a high fever, and we will take a look later. Is the 26-bed surgery scheduled? I asked.

"I've already told Director Jin about it. I said you wouldn't be able to make it in the morning, and the operation would be moved to the afternoon. I also contacted the nurses' station. ”

"Is the patient okay on that side? Is the agreement signed? ”

"It's fine. The agreement has been signed. The fasting aspect is also in place. Wang Hao said.

"Xiao Wang, I plan to have you complete this operation in the afternoon. Have faith? ”

"Really? Will Director Kim agree? Wang Hao was a little surprised.

"It's fine. I'll be on the side to guide you all the way. This is a very common surgery. Have faith. ”

"Thank you, teacher."

"Let's go, let's go see Bed 19."

We walked into Ward 307. 19 beds by the door. The patients in the three beds in the ward were injecting the potion. Bed 20 is a student from Yangjiang Middle School, who had appendicitis surgery last Friday and has basically recovered. Bed 21 is a 42-year-old patient with strangulated small bowel obstruction, due to his atypical early clinical manifestations, we were initially diagnosed with biliary ascariasis, and at the time of surgery, there were typical peritoneal irritation signs, and a large part of the intestinal loop necrosis was found during the operation, for which I struggled for a while.

We first walked over to their bedside, said a few words of encouragement symbolically, and returned to bed 19.

The 19th bed is a 40-year-old rural woman from Xuzhuang, Wuzhen. I was diagnosed with esophageal cancer about five or six months ago, and I was admitted to my department half a month ago at our suggestion to go to the provincial capital for surgery.

In fact, it is an advanced stage of esophageal cancer. Typical late symptoms have appeared. The first is progressive dysphagia, I was able to drink some liquids when I was first hospitalized, and I have difficulty swallowing a liquid diet since last week; followed by a lump on the neck and collarbone; The third is spitting mucus, which is caused by esophageal insufficiency or complete obstruction caused by esophageal lesions, which makes the secretions drain poorly, accumulates in the upper part of the esophageal stricture, and stimulates esophageal retroperistalsis......

The patient's husband stood up from his position.

"Orchid, Dr. Zheng has come to see you." The husband gently pushed the patient. Hu Lanhua was almost asleep, her mouth half-open, and she was struggling to breathe. The illness had almost exhausted her physical strength, and she was weak and exhausted.

She opened her eyes slightly, and saw that it was me, and tears immediately overflowed her eyes.

"It hurts." She opened her mouth, and her voice was already very hoarse.

"Is it a back pain?"

"Back. Chest. ”

"Back and chest pain?"

She nodded.

"I'll prescribe you some painkillers later. It doesn't hurt to eat it. Stick to it. Eat as much as you can. "I encourage patients.

"Dr. Zheng, what she eats and vomits now." Said the husband bitterly.

"This is normal. You have to keep feeding her. If you don't eat, you won't have energy. ”

"I know."

"If it really doesn't work, we have to do a minor surgery and introduce the fluid directly through the catheter from outside the body." I say.

"Is it expensive?" The husband looked at me helplessly.

"Probably a few hundred dollars."

"Oh."

"Think for yourselves."

Walking out of the ward, I said to Wang Hao, "Do you know what caused the patient's chest and back pain? ”

"Is it caused by the invasion of the cancer?" Wang Hao replied.

"Not bad. Chest and back pain is often caused by periesophageitis, mediastinumitis, and even adjacent organs, nerves and paravertebral tissues. So, what about the patient's hoarseness? I questioned Wang Hao further.

"If I'm not mistaken, it's vocal cord paralysis that occurs when the tumor directly invades or metastases compresses the recurrent laryngeal nerve, causing hoarseness." Wang Hao said.

"Not bad. There is progress. ”

"It's the teacher who teaches well."

……

That afternoon, Wang Hao successfully performed gallbladder polyp removal surgery on 26 beds. Director Jin Rusheng was quite satisfied with Wang Hao's performance. I congratulate Wang Hao. I'm glad that this student, who has only been with me for a year and a half, is making progress so quickly. I almost forgot about my misfortune because of it.

We went back to the office with a smile and a smile.

My 19-bed daughter, Xu Xiaorou, stands at my desk. She wears the school uniform of Yangjiang No. 1 Middle School. Medium-length hair is tied in a bunch with a rubber band and hung down at the back of the head.

"Is there anything wrong, little girl?" I sat down in a chair.

"I would like to ask you about my mother's illness. Is my mother's illness getting worse? "Xu Xiaorou is very melancholy.

"Yes. Judging by your mother's condition, the cancer cells have metastasized. You have to be mentally prepared. "I'm not going to hide it from Xu Xiaorou.

"Isn't it a long time?" Xu Xiaorou looked at me with tears in her eyes.

"It's hard to say. It is necessary to see which direction of development. If the cancer cells erode the aorta, causing fatal bleeding, it's fast. ”

"That'...... My dad said what kind of surgery are you going to do for my mother, is there any point? ”

I subconsciously touched my chin with my hand. I haven't shaved in two days. A stiff beard stinger. "You mean catheter intervention? How so? This is not a necessary surgery. Your mother has difficulty swallowing, and without this surgery, it will be difficult to absorb nutrients, which can easily lead to dehydration and exhaustion. ”

"My dad has gone back to raise money. But, you know ......" Xu Xiaorou sobbed softly.

"Financially difficult, right?"

Xu Xiaorou nodded.

"There's a lot of debt in the family, right?"

"Hmm."

"There's no way around it. Such a disease can not be tolerated in anyone's home. Especially your rural family, there is no reimbursement at all, and if the family background is not good, it will soon drag a family down. ”

"I felt like my home was broken. We're bankrupt. My dad he ...... I went where I could borrow money, and I might never be able to borrow money again. Xu Xiaorou's tears fell down.

I pulled a piece of paper from my desk and handed it over.

"Thank you."

"Don't be too sad. You've done your best. There is no way to live, old age, sickness and death. You have to learn to accept. "I don't know how to comfort the little girl.

"I know. But my mother is still young, how can I watch her go? Please save my mother. Xu Xiaorou looked at me with teary eyes.

I looked elsewhere. "I'm sorry. I don't have the ability. It's almost irresponsible for a doctor to say that, but I have to say it. This is the sadness of medicine. ”

"Don't blame yourself." Xu Xiaorou wiped away her tears with a tissue, "Actually, we knew about this result when we were in the provincial hospital, but we have not been able to accept it." ”

"Your mother should be content, she met such a loving and righteous husband, and gave birth to such a filial daughter. By the way, you're in your sophomore year of high school, right? I seem to have asked you, and I forgot. ”

"I'm a junior in high school."

"Aren't classes going today?"

"Class. Dad was going back, so I took a leave of absence. ”

"There are still a few months to go before the college entrance examination. It must be a lot of pressure, right? "I tried to change the subject.

"I'm going to give up my studies." Xu Xiaorou said.

"What? Abandon? Why give up? ”

"I had no choice but to give up. In this case, I still insist on studying, which is too cruel for my father. I was going to wait for my mother to leave, and then I would leave school and go to work. ”

"Ah...... Is it because the results are not satisfactory? What class are you studying in No. 1 Middle School? ”

"Shift zero."

"Zero shift? That is, the experimental class. That's the best class. ”

Xu Xiaorou nodded.

"So how can you drop out of school? How can I give up my studies? I said.

"Can I choose?" Xu Xiaorou looked at me. There were tears in my eyes.

I was speechless.

"I'm back in the ward. Thank you Dr. Cheng. Xu Xiaorou said.

"No thanks. Don't give up on your studies, little girl. ”

Xu Xiaorou didn't say anything more and walked out of the office. I felt like the air in the office was suffocating me.

After a while, Wang Hao said, "This little girl is really sensible. ”

"What a poor child. Wang Hao, we have a great responsibility as doctors. I sighed. Xiong Yanfei once told me that doctors are the saviors of the sick. If she had lived to this day, she might understand that the profession of a doctor is the most helpless.

"Yes."

"Are the records organized?"

"It's been sorted out. Would you like to take a look? ”

"No need. Remember to go to the ward to see the 26 beds before the late shift. I said.

"I will."