December of the twenty-sixth year of Kangxi

The day in my memory was very cold, and the nurse stood in the cold wind with me in her arms. On that day, I saw the long-lost Huang Amma, and I excitedly stretched out my little hand to him, but he frowned and left. Later, I learned that this day was when the Empress Dowager Xiaozhuang was critically ill, and Huang Ama was not in the mood to see my Eniang ...... at all" The nurse Xu Chang pointed to a woman standing at the end of the concubine in the distance - I couldn't see her appearance clearly, and I never had the consciousness of an Eniang in my memory of living for nine years.

"E-niang......" I staggered towards her in the heavy snow, stretching out my little hand in the cold wind......

And all I was waiting for was her averting her eyes, ignoring my outstretched hand......

Later, I learned that according to the rules of the Qing Palace, the low-level concubines in the harem are not qualified to raise parents and children at all - since I was born, I was destined not to be the son of my mother, and I can only be the son of the imperial concubine Tong in terms of reputation, even if I am the same stranger to her......

"Huang Ama, hug!" The crown prince stretched out his little hand to Huang Ama in front of me, and I saw a long-lost smile on the corner of Huang Amma's mouth - I don't understand why this brother, who is only four years older than me, can enjoy thousands of favors while I can only watch from aside?

Even though he doesn't have a mother, I still envy him, because even if I do, I don't have a mother...... July of the nineteenth year

My deepest memory of that year is that in the scorching heat, Huang Ama suddenly decided to take the royal army to Geldan in person. At the farewell ceremony, I saw the eldest brother standing beside Huang Ama in military uniform, so heroic, so envious and jealous. That year I really hated myself for why I didn't grow up quickly - if I grew up, if I could also help the Emperor Amma, would he look at me more, would he be proud of me?

"Fourth elder brother. Look, your mother, your mother is here too! ”

I looked at the past with the words I always said—still the woman who was so strange to me, but familiar to me, whom I had dreamed of in countless dreams, who had slept with me to tears, but who could only be seen from afar in the annual celebrations

"Xu Changzai, who is that?" I pointed to the baby I was holding in my hand - I smiled so softly, so beautiful, just like I had dreamed of countless times in my dreams. But she wasn't smiling at me, she was glaring at the child in her hand. That gentle smile was like a needle, piercing her eyes all the way into my heart......

"Fourth elder brother. That's your brother. Fourteenth elder brother. Ouch. It's so fast. I'm almost a year old......"

My brother?

Don't you often say that my mother can't take care of me because of the ancestral system. Why can't my brother? I saw Huang Ama stop his horse. Like Eniang, I looked at me gently, and my eyes were sour. For the first time in my life, I knew what jealousy was like. Even though I know I shouldn't be jealous of my brother. But I couldn't help it.

"Fourth elder brother. Don't cry! Xu Chang wiped the tears from my eyes indiscriminately: "Fourth elder brother." You're still young. You will definitely have a place in the future. As long as you make a difference. Your mother and Huang Ama will definitely be able to see the ground. They will be proud of you! ”

Will it? It was completely ignored from childhood to adulthood. Can he really hope for that day?

"I didn't cry. I'm just reluctant to give up Huang Ama! "Swear stubbornly. I wiped the tears from my eyes—Huang Amma. E-niang. and ye shall see the earth. You will surely see Yin. Yin is the most worthy of your pride

A lot has happened this year. The first was the first time that Huang Ama had given me an important errand. It was a thorough investigation of Kuyin's problem—the first time I ran an errand, I could barely sleep. I can't swallow it, lest I make a mistake.

For this errand. I didn't hesitate to offend the powerful people in the court, and even Wei Dongting, who was the most trusted and favored by Huang Ama, didn't let go, but I didn't expect that this investigation would actually find the crown prince......

I didn't expect that Emperor Kangxi, who had promised me to investigate it thoroughly, said that Emperor Kangxi, who had Emperor Ama in the first place in the text version, publicly reprimanded me at this time: "I believe you to entrust you to handle such an important matter, I knelt straight on the ground, and let Emperor Ama smash my own fold on my face: "Huang Ama, what Erchen said is true, Erchen dares to use his life to guarantee that Erchen will never have any selfish ......"

I can't imagine that a month ago, I had just received the attention of the emperor, and just because he took the excerpt I wrote and praised the good words, I happily copied the scriptures for several days without sleep—

God knows, because I know that Huang Ama loves calligraphy, I have practiced the thin gold font for 20 years, regardless of the heat and cold, to get his first "good" character after 20 years......

"True?" Huang Ama kicked me to the ground, and the thirteenth brother next to me hurriedly wanted to help me, but I stopped him: "Your words are clearly pointing to the prince, I thought that you were different from other brothers so I handed over the mission to you, but I didn't expect you to peep into the prince's position like them, and like them, they all wanted to pull the prince off the horse!" ”

"Erchen has no such intentions!" I got up in pain and kowtowed heavily—yes, I was jealous of the prince, like all my brothers. Huang Ama, you are too partial, but I have no intention of replacing it, and even if I have, I don't want to use the method of framing - I just want you and Eniang to look at me a few more times, why do you even hate this?

"No?" Huang Ama looked at us as if he saw something dirty in disgust: "Get out of here and kneel, and think about what you have done wrong!" ”

I was helped up by the thirteenth brother, and slowly walked out of the door of the imperial study, and in front of the brothers and ministers, the door of the straight study......

I know that I am not wrong, and I believe that Huang Ama also knows this - he wronged me for the sake of the prince, wronged me who was bent on doing a good job for him, and he wanted everyone to see what happened if he dared to offend the prince, even if it was his own son, he would not spare it!

I knelt outside the study, and it hurt not my knees, but my heart—the same son, and the flesh of his heart. The other one is not as good as the "chicken" that kills a chicken to show the monkey......

"Thirteenth brother, it's the fourth brother who has affected you......" I also don't get love, because I have also been neglected, I have always protected him, this time I wanted to pull him together to show his face in front of Huang Ama, but I didn't expect ......

"Good brother, don't say anything about whether it's even or not!" For the first time in my life, I felt warm when I had been ignored thoroughly...... Good? At this time, I heard a milky voice: "Huang Ama loves me the most, and he will definitely agree to my request!" ”

Is it Little Fourteen? Is it his strange brother who is coming to his aid?

"Don't go, Yinzhen!" He heard the familiar and unfamiliar voice: "Your emperor Ama is angry, you don't touch the moldy head, how many times has Eniang told you, don't care about other people's gossip, don't remember whether you remember!" Be careful, sooner or later, you will also be punished by your emperor! ”

Is that the woman — fists clenched, nails all sunk into the palm of her hand — is that woman my real mother? Didn't you say that she didn't want me out of desperation, didn't you say that she actually loved me very much?

What am I in her heart - a stranger?

Why does my emperor Ama forget when I am an outsider, and my mother is the same when I am a stranger?

"Fourth brother!" I saw tears in the eyes of my thirteenth brother - was it because he felt sorry for me?

No. I'm not sad, no one has ever cared about me, what am I so sad about?

Holding back my tears, I tried to look up at the bright yellow at the end of the imperial study - you, you all ignore me, none of you really care about me, sooner or later, sooner or later, one day I will make you have to look at me, sooner or later I want you to regret treating me like this!

June of the forty-third year of Kangxi

It wasn't a big month, and I was forced to go back to the house to think about it, even though I had no idea what I had done wrong.

By June. The Queen Mother's birthday, even if I think about it behind closed doors. As a child and grandson, I also had to go to the court to celebrate, and on this day I was once again plotted by my brothers......

"Ahh You're the ......" The little girl blushed, and I knew at a glance that she didn't know me—and yes. I'm silent by nature, plus not taken seriously. Basically, in the eyes of many people, he is a passerby.

"Where is the girl going?" Huang Ama said that I was mean by nature, and I tried to make my Lian look less serious - this "Do you know Eighth Brother?" Any idea he's there? The little girl's face turned redder, this time. It's blushing.

"At the pavilion over there, you just go ahead and turn a corner."

"Thank you!" The little girl ran away after hearing this—I didn't even have time to say that the Beatitudes were there, and the Beatitudes never had room for sand in his eyes, and this little girl would definitely suffer if she ran so boldly.

However, none of this was my business, and I shook my head, and prepared to go back and drink with me—to be drunk, to be drunk, to forget that I was born in the royal family, to forget my Amma, my mother, everything about me......

I didn't expect that when I woke up, that little girl would be lying naked next to me, and what was even more terrifying was that Huang Ama had already barged in before I could react to what was going on......

"Brute!" After a slap, I no longer felt any pain in my face, only bitter numbness......

"Huang Ama, I don't have ......"

"Spread my will, give the four grades of ceremonies, the Lingzhu Nu Niu Hulu clan in the emperor's fourth son, Yin in the domain!" This time, he walked away without looking back and not listening to my explanation......

I looked at the little girl, I don't know if she was thirteen years old, childish, frightened that she only knew how to cry, crying I was upset - I was designed, I really didn't know that I was powerless, even the emperor didn't like me, what else was there to be framed? , so anyone can bully me, even a woman in Batude Jin, who can take me as a victim for the sake of being jealous?

"Woo woo, I don't want to marry you, I don't want you, you're leaving!"

I looked at the crying little girl, and my eyes gradually became deeper - powerless, destined to be spurned, right? Even such a young girl knows that there is no future with me, is it wrong for me to try so hard to please them?

If one day, the whole world is in my hands, will they come to please me, and I don't have to be lonely anymore? (To be continued, if you want to know what will happen next, please log in.**.com, more chapters, support the author, support genuine reading.)