In the blink of an eye, I was twelve years old, I chose the path that a Manchu girl would take---- I entered the palace, but I was born as a clothed slave, and I couldn't choose a show girl, so I was finally used as a slave and entered the Xin Zheku.

My days in Xinzhiku were as unbearable as the days of fear in Mongolia, and they became the source of my daily nightmares---- and I lived in Xinzhiku, either as lowly slaves and maids as us, or as showgirls and female officials who had made mistakes. How could those usually pampered ladies endure this kind of suffering, so the hanging of the hanged, the swallowing of gold---- within half a year I actually changed five of them to sleep with me, they were all rolled up by a roll of mats, and disappeared forever in our world......

"You are so bold, do you know that this dress is the favorite of the noble lady!" Mama twisted my ears vigorously and taught me loudly.

This is the second thing I need to get used to when I enter the Xinzheku---- that it comes at every turn, it can happen at any time, and there is absolutely no need for corporal punishment for any reason. Whether you are wrong or not, you have to kneel on the ground and answer loudly: "The slave is wrong, the slave is deserving of death!" "Then you have to bow your mouth left and right to appease their anger---- even if you are innocent, even if they are just looking for a punching bag, you have to humble your prayers.

Because, the first rule of survival in this palace is---- don't treat yourself as a human being, in this evil court, people have long been dead, and the only survivors are dog slaves like us, lowly slaves and maids...... If you can't even do that, then disappearing is your only way out......

And the only thing that can make me happy every day is to secretly hide on the other side of the corridor in the early morning, watching him rush to the court from afar---- from Xinzheku to Qianqing Palace, a total of more than half an hour, and then run back, a total of more than an hour. Along the way, I persevered.

Every day, every month, every day, I run like this---- even if sometimes I miss the time of work and will be punished by my grandmother, even if he doesn't show up every day, I will be disappointed again and again...... Even, I know he doesn't know I'm secretly watching him. ….《》. Even though I know that I won't end well at all---- but I can't control myself, this has become the only thing in my life!

I remember that day, I stood alone in the snowstorm, quietly looking at the direction of the Taihe Palace. Heavy snow dressed the entire court in a snow-white color. For the first time, this dark and bloody court seemed pure---- however, the eldest brother had not appeared for three months, and I had been standing here stupidly for three months......

"It's snowing, sir. Let's have a snowball fight! "I finally waited for him, but I also waited for him and his Fujin Ilgen to feel that the Luo clan ----was so noble and so beautiful. Compared with me, a yellow-haired girl, it is indeed heaven and earth!

"No, it's too cold, you're pregnant!" The eldest brother gently put a cloak on his Fujin. Big brother, you haven't come to the court for so long, is it because your Fujin is pregnant?

"No, you always want me to lie down, I'm about to get sick. Why don't we build a snowman? Ilgen begged in a whisper, and quickly ran towards me: "Ah, don't pile up, there's one here!" ”

I was scared, I was afraid that the eldest brother would be angry when he knew that I was peeking at him every day. I was also afraid that it would scare him and the child in his belly, and I just wanted to leave. only to find that his legs had already been frozen.

"Haha, little snowman, let's play this one!" Ilgen felt that Roche was about to come running, and I was nervous not knowing what to do.

"You!" The eldest brother nodded Ilgen Jue Luo's nose, "It's so big, it's already the child's mother, and it's so naughty---- this is probably that lady is calling people heaps, what if you break it?" ”

"But----," said Ilgen, feeling that Roche was reluctant to look at my side.

"Alright, I'll ask the minions to pile one for you when I go back!" The eldest brother also looked in my direction, "It's exactly as good as this?" ”

Exactly like me? I stood silently, constantly recalling this sentence--- there is almost a snowman like me in the eldest brother's house, if I can really become a snowman and fly to his house, how nice it would be! I don't mind making a snowman, even if the sun is going to melt off as soon as the sun comes out......

On that day, he was less than ten feet away from me---- the closest I had been to him since I entered the palace, although I was only a snowman in his eyes, although he had not shown the slightest interest in me.

It's just that I don't know that even this last ten feet has become my last feast---- just this ten feet of distance, I can't reach it in my whole life......

Forty-seven years of Kangxi. November

"You know what? The eldest brother was locked up by the emperor! "I was drying my clothes, but I heard some of the little eunuchs passing by.

"Bang dang" The basin full of clothes in my hand fell to the ground like this---- how could it be? So how can it be so majestic and handsome? A few days ago, she also secretly saw him returning to the dynasty in high spirits, she must have heard it wrong, it must be!

"I'm going to kill you, do you know that this is the concubine's clothes!" Behind him, there was a roar of madma's anger.

It doesn't matter what the mother is, what the emperor is, she just wants to know whether this matter is true or false now! I pushed away the grandmother who came forward to teach me a lesson, and ran in the direction of the main hall---- I don't believe it, I don't believe in anything, I must see it with my own eyes, I must ......

"Okay, you dead girl, see if I don't let my father-in-law beat you to death......"

I don't want to care, if something happens to the eldest brother, what's the use of my life? I rushed out of the inner court and went straight to the noon gate all the way: "You let go of me, I want to see the eldest brother, I want to see the eldest brother!" He's a good man, please let him go! "I was pressed to the ground by the guards, still struggling---- I was not convinced, I haven't really spoken a word to him until now, I finally grew up---- how could it? Heaven didn't even give me the slightest chance......

"Big brother---- he was just crushed from here." A kind guard couldn't help but tell me the truth: "Stop chasing, girl, you broke into the palace and committed a capital crime!" ”

Capital crime? Do you think I'm afraid of death? My parents, brothers and sisters are dead, I am the daughter of the steppe, I will be afraid to die?

It's just that I don't know yet, who made you such a big brother---- you are the pride of the sky, you are a big hero, you must be very sad to be wronged like this, right? If it's okay, I will definitely get justice for you, and I will definitely do it!

"On the orders of the governor, the palace maid and guest left her post without permission, and she was heavily responsible for eighty boards according to ......the law."

"Father-in-law, this girl didn't obey the discipline and pushed me, how can she ......" Mama protester---- no matter what, she will be killed with a cane.

"Are you the manager or am I?" The father-in-law called for the execution and persuaded at the same time: "I said Mama Dou, there are few people who have made mistakes recently, and there are more people in Xinzhiku, so can't you turn a blind eye to it?" ”

I was not born, I was old, I hated me for being late, I hated you for being early......

I read silently, I have long been numb to the point that I can't feel the pain in my body---- big brother, although I have never had a chance to see each other in this life, but your voice and smile have been deeply remembered in my mind, and I will not forget your great hatred, so I will definitely live well until I avenge you--- ......