I was dizzy for a long time, so long that I don't remember a lot of things very clearlyT7 dream, in which there is a fourth elder brother who was unwilling but indifferent and stoic. But in a blink of an eye, the red leaves in the sky turned into blood, staining the entire Taihe Hall red......

"Don't!"

It's hard to collect it, it's hard to collect it, and what you do can't even be saved by yourself......

"Qiyun, you're awake." The first thing I saw was my sister, and I knew that she was now the queen mother - the gorgeous phoenix crown, the diamond nail cover, everything was so strange and so natural, and everything seemed to remind me that the fourth elder brother was gone, really gone!

"There's some ginseng chicken soup here, do you want anything else?" She took the soup bowl in the palace maid's hand: "I'll come, you all go down!" ”

I knew that with her current status, even Emperor Qianlong couldn't afford her service, and I should make some humility, but I didn't—there were a lot of doubts in my mind, and many things that seemed to me sure before were now collapsing rapidly, including everything I had always believed in about her.

"Sister, you have stayed in the Heart Cultivation Hall for so many days, he- has he embarrassed you?" I want to ask, but I can't ask - I really want to know why Yinzhen didn't find me first but restricted her first; I really want to know what happened in the Heart Cultivation Palace, why Yongzheng's dead sister can do it without leaking, and the important ministers in the court don't know it; And most importantly, why hide the cause of death, simply because of an undignified way of dying?

"No, it's all gone, you don't have to worry." Avoiding my inquiring eyes, she fed me a mouthful of soup: "The imperial doctor said that you vomited blood because of excessive sadness, and it will be fine to recuperate, you can raise it in this Cining Palace, so that I can take good care of you." ”

"I'm going home." Suddenly I really want to go back, it's not the home of Prince Guoyi's mansion, even if many times I convince myself that it's my home - a long, long time, I think of the distant twenty-first century, after going through so much, what I hated and avoided back then became a matter of course, and I began to miss the self who hit the wall everywhere with all my blood back then-

At that time, I was useless, empty of blood, and could only compromise and helpless with reality!

And now I am standing very high, but my life is desolate; Turning clouds and rain, but not even knowing what he wants; Finally, I don't have to compromise with the world, but I have already become worldly!

The blade gets brighter and brighter the sharpening. But the blood has long since cooled......

"No, I can't. The doctor said you shouldn't move around right now. You have to stay in bed and recuperate-" My sister wanted to hold down and want to get up: "What's wrong here." I can take care of you. It is also convenient for the doctor to come to check the pulse......"

"I'm going home.

"It's good to go anywhere. Just don't stay here. This cold palace - no matter how deep the feelings are here, it will be forgotten. In the good land, people will eventually become ruthless!

"Then I, Prince Xuan Guoyi, will come to the palace to pick you up?"

"No, you don't." I don't want to bother him anymore. I really can't enjoy his work at this moment - I don't deserve it!

"And you-" How do you go back like this?

"I'll walk back by myself!" It's like walking into this cage when I had nothing - I was still in Yangzhou back then, unwilling to be subservient to others, unwilling to be obscure, desperately walked towards this center of power, fought, killed, ruthless, and in the end-

But there is only one desire to go out......

"Sister, Yinzhen is no longer here, I can survive it, why can't you let it go so much!" My sister chased after her, bursting into tears: "Do you have my pain?" You ask me what I'm doing in the Heart Cultivation Palace, I'm waiting for death, I'd rather I'm still waiting for death now - I can forgive you, why can't you let go of what you did? ”

"Why can't you put it down?" Hehe, good question, it's not that I can't let go, I don't want to let go of myself - I can't tell the truth, and I have demonized myself: "Because sister, you are not me, so you can let go, I can't let go......"

Because for the fourth elder brother, you have paid, you have not asked for it, and today's everything is what you deserve; I'm different, I've never done anything, I've never said a word of truth, until the end—until the end, I didn't even get his last wish!

I killed him, maybe it was inevitable in history, and it was not without me that someone else would do the same thing, but why, I had to refuse his invitation that time, we missed so much that we couldn't even see the last one......

What about my sister? She is the queen mother, but what did she just say, saying that she would rather stay in the Heart Cultivation Hall and wait for death - it turns out that we are all the same, and in the eyes of others, our happiest place is not necessarily what we want......

On September 4 of the first year of Qianlong, Prince Guoyi's mansion

I staggered to this gate, which meant that I was my soul, the glory and hard work of my life, but now this gate was so strange to my eyes—I didn't even care about the furnishings of the mansion, so much so that I knew almost nothing but that the door of the mansion was open to the south, and I never paid attention to the ordinary happiness that could have been obtained!

Standing in front of this gate, I found myself ashamed to go in - I have never fulfilled my duties as a hostess, I think of Brother Seventeen, I have always regarded myself as a modern woman, and I always look at this world that does not belong to me with my own values. I didn't care about pulling my husband into one political whirlpool after another, I even affected him again and again, but I never gave him a moment of warmth!

"Auntie! Why are you sitting in the doorway, it's raining! ”

Is it raining? How can I not feel it?

Once upon a time, rain like this

Sensitive things have been forgotten by me, to the point that they have forgotten already?

"Man is really a forgetful animal!" The unforgettable pain of that year has been replaced by an even greater pain; The man who swore to never use an umbrella on a rainy day again has long forgotten the reason for swearing, and has long forgotten the person who made me so painful and desperate -

However, I felt a deeper despair, an indelible pain......

"Auntie, have you forgotten anything?" Trying to cover my whole body with his broken umbrella, only to forget that I was half left in the rain - this is also a fool, wrong, a fool! "Auntie, I'll send you in first, and then I'll help you find it, okay?"

"I won't go in, I can't go in...... "The door didn't stop me, it was my heart that was separated from my past pursuit, and I couldn't go back to anything, because of that self-inflicted sin!

"This is my aunt's own home, how can it be? No matter what, your own family is always the best! ”

Is it? Is that really the case? Own family?

Do I have a family of my own?

The Niu family has nothing to do with me at all, and if it does, even if their original male owner has a leg with me, the mother of the body; All the people I was related to were dead and killed, including my two younger siblings, who were still children......

My sister, I always thought that we were not related by blood but more than ordinary sisters, but today, I find that she seems to be hiding a lot of things from me, and she has become someone I can't read or even dare to read. Also, the guilt made me reluctant to enjoy her care for me anymore - she actually still resented me, a woman who could not forget who the man she loved the most died for......

"Who are you? Why do you call me aunt? "A child so young actually talked to me about his family, do I know him? I still have relatives in this world, haven't they all been killed by me?

"You were my aunt!" When he heard me say this, he almost cried: "Auntie, have you forgotten? You refused to take me in that day, and my uncle saw pity on me, and gave me money to stay at a nearby inn—"

"Are you Zhanpeng's son?" Because of the mess these days, I have entered the state of Alzheimer's disease in advance, and I have no memory of such an important thing: "You haven't left yet?" ”

"Auntie, are you still going to drive me away?"

You don't have to go, what I was afraid of at the time was that I would affect you, and now the crisis has been lifted - with Yinzhen's life, the crisis that hung over my head for the thirteenth year of Yongzheng has completely ended: "You like to have a family very much, and you want a home?" ”

It's hard to understand that what I tried so hard to destroy back then has now become my desire; And the son of the man I persecuted so hard back then, when I was most helpless, came to me with an umbrella and told me that he liked his family.

"Hmm!" He nodded, and suddenly shook his head again: "I, Amma, said that the family is the most important thing, and it is because he made a mistake back then that he was sent away by his family." Auntie, take me in! I will definitely fight for our Niu family, and I will definitely not disappoint your aunt! ”

"Why do you think I'm your family?" It doesn't make sense, if it's not me, he would at least be a young master, and not so bleak as he is today.

"Because more than a year ago, when I entered Beijing on my first day, I didn't know my aunt at that time. On that day, I saw you, freshly dressed and angry, even if you stand beside the emperor, you are not inferior, the emperor will be the prime minister, but that's it! ”

So you like me for this, what do you like is such an unbeatable aunt? "Do you think that's a good life?" All my sorrows now can also become the yearning of other people's lives?

"The king worships the prime minister, under one person, being a man should be like this!"

"Under one person, that one person will not tolerate you; Worshipping the king means that you can lose a lot of what others can't, you understand? ”

"Whatever you want!"

Okay - such a big ambition, and sure enough, I think I'm my nephew (the heroine is completely speechless...... ）

"You can stay with me, but you can't tell anyone that you're my nephew.

The disgust of power makes me equally disgusted with those who are passionate about power: "If you want to succeed, you are completely on your own, and remember, you can only survive life and death alone!" "Only successful people are qualified to experience and regret the loneliness of the high places—perhaps, after regret, their hearts will be more unbalanced, so they pretend that they are doing well, and attract more people to sacrifice their lives for this hell pass......

"I didn't plan to rely on others, if my aunt can do it, I will definitely do it!"

Can I?

I don't seem to have done anything, but why do you see me as a model of success?

"Okay, come in with me! I told the housekeeper that you can enter the study casually in the future, and you can watch me handle things. Speaking of which, I suddenly remembered a very important thing, having met twice, I still don't know the name of my cheap relative: "What's your name, little one?" ”

is so young, he is determined to be the king and worship the prime minister, I wonder if his name will be left in history in the future?

"I'm not a little guy!" This title seemed to be an insult to him for pretending to be an adult, and he was so angry that his cheeks puffed out: "I have a name, my name is Niu Lu and Shen, aunt, you remember, this name will resound in the future in the government and the opposition!" ”

You repeat, what's your name? ”