The file thinks I'm a monster, maybe in her eyes, the so-called monster is my degree, however, although I sometimes feel like a monster, no matter the mental state, way of thinking and existence form has been very different from normal people, but only in terms of human nature and the fragility and limitations of being a human being, I am still a human being. Even though I have "virus" and "river" as references, I am far from being able to understand what kind of existence "virus" and "river" are, and I have only a vague impression of their nature and operation, their intelligence and inhumanity, so I can't summarize the answer to "what a monster looks like" from both.

In the past, there have been predecessors who have summarized the three laws of monsters: first, monsters do not die; Second, monsters are not understood; Third, monsters are not inherently humanoid. These three laws are embodied in both "virus" and "river", but I can still feel that the strangeness of "virus" and "river" is far from being encapsulated by these three laws, and even if "Jiang" has a plausible performance on the third point, showing a human form and human nature that can be observed, it is precisely because of this performance that the three laws summarized by the predecessors seem incorrect.

It's not that "Jiang" shows human form and human nature, which means that "Jiang" is closer to human beings, perhaps just the opposite. I don't know how others understand it, but, as a member of the closest distance to lift the "river", I fully accept this understanding.

Therefore, when the file says that I am a monster, I don't even have the slightest idea of rebuttal, because the real monster is not just me. And now I'm dragging her into the depths of this state of consciousness, revealing a power that she doesn't fit into, not my own power at all, but the power given by a real monster. I've arrived here, I've adapted here, I've had an advantage here, and that's not something to be happy or proud of at all, but just a reflection of how huge the gap between humans and real monsters is.

The gap between me, who is called a monster, and the real monster "virus", is no longer something that can be made up by struggle, hard work, and luck in a visible time. Knowing this once again only makes me more sure that Dorothy's plan is not perfect, or that Takakawa in the past and Dorothy and Shiki today have an inherently wrong perception of the "virus" and the cruelty of the final battle. It's not that they underestimate the enemy, but they don't want to think about the possibility of "if this enemy is beyond their imagination", and they are willing to believe that their own height can reach at least a bit of competitiveness with some strategy and tricks - of course, I can understand this wishful thinking, maybe for them, just trying to imagine the strength of the enemy is enough to make them collapse, not to include the height of this incomprehensible enemy in the scope of their imagination, will only fall into endless despair.

However, this kind of thinking and imagination, this wishful thinking, may be able to maintain one's own rationality from immediately collapsing, and can squeeze out a false flame of hope from boundless fear and despair to continue one's own existence, but it is impossible to truly achieve the original wish - to defeat the "virus", obtain the serum, and free everyone from the pain of doomsday syndrome.

I don't mind them thinking and acting like that, because I don't know what they can do, but I can't think and act like that, because as Takakawa, I have to do something.

This apocalyptic illusion is closer to the "end times" than the doomsday illusions I have experienced, and the state of affairs I have observed, from the cognition of me by acquaintances like the file, from the cognition of other strangers towards me, from the attitude of all the people and inhumans I have dismissed towards me, and from the frequent disappearance and appearance of "Jiang", I feel more and more that I have glimpsed some key things, maybe these things are still not the truth, but it also makes me feel more and more that I must carry out my plan with a firmer attitude- People can't fight monsters, only the monsters themselves can fight monsters.

My mind swelled and diverged like crazy, and I even had the illusion that a part of my inner self was no longer confined to the constraints of my own humanoid body, and that the physical body was no longer the basis for supporting my inner being. In the reality of the hospital, Takakawa's physical body has collapsed, and the self of "Takakawa" has already wandered in the LCL, and the self felt in the apocalyptic illusion is producing another form from a non-physical perspective. The change and collapse of the physical state from the reality of the hospital to the apocalyptic illusion is like a process of change in the essence of existence, the details of which I cannot comprehend, and the results of this process are beyond imagination.

I don't know what I'm going to become, but I have a strong intuition that no matter what I become, I'm never going to be stronger than the "virus", and even if I change faster than the progress of the "virus", even if I completely become something I can't imagine, I can't guess the true face of the "virus" based on myself at that time.

The gap is just too big.

"The gap is just too big." I say.

My muttering seemed to be heard by the file, but she didn't understand it, and instead smiled mockingly at me, saying, "I don't think I'm too big to resist." "Maybe she thinks I'm underestimating her.

Of course, I can't underestimate her, and I don't feel that the gap between me and her is something she can't make up. The advantages I possess in this depths of consciousness are smoothed out by the file little by little every time I spend it. I know that she is only talking to me to stall for time, and my state is indeed inefficient and full of flaws, but this is the inevitable weakness of my sensibility. It was completely expected that this would happen if I was driven entirely by emotion, but I never wanted to stop there.

In order to accomplish the plan, I must have a single sensibility that is strong enough to be paranoid, and all the actions driven by the sensibility are to filter and polish the sensibility, and all the injuries suffered because of the sensibility will inevitably become the food of the plan.

Human reason cannot understand monsters, but it is precisely because of this clear understanding that they change their perspective and try to do something with their sensibility. Although, in fact, I am not too sure. Whether it is emotional or rational, theoretically it is still something that can be analyzed by informatization within the length of time, and it is not something beyond imagination.

I chose sensibility, not only because people in the past failed to resist rationally, but also because of the existence of "Jiang".

From this point of view, if I can really do something with emotion, to accomplish a plan with a little hope, then I am probably the only one who can do it at the moment—I don't want that, because this peculiarity only makes me feel more despair and sorrow of human beings.

"It's a hell of despair." I whispered to the file, "Are you ready?" File. ”

"What are you ready for, could it be that until now, you still want to say that everything you do is to break despair and save sentient beings? Takakawa. There was no thought on the file's face, and in the time of these few words and thoughts, her existence had undergone a terrible and strange change, the most obvious being that her face had lost the contours of her facial features. It's not that all the senses are gone, but a vague feeling that is infinitely close to nothing. Her human form is also changing, and although the female sexuality can still be identified in the outline, the details that characterize the individuality and personality of the "file" are disappearing.

The "file" disappeared in front of me, leaving behind a "woman" - a feeling that was strong and pure.

As far as I understand, it is from the depths, the information that emanates from the collective human subconscious, that interferes with and distorts the existence of the file. This is of course an anomalous and mysterious phenomenon, but I can't be sure if it happened naturally or deliberately induced by the file himself. But in any case, the female body in front of me is giving me a stronger and stronger sense of presence and oppression, which makes me more willing to believe that this is the method that the file finally chooses to use against me. She risked her life, so she didn't mind the distortion of her own existence at all, she was more involved in this battle than I was, just trying to defeat me.

From a rational point of view, this is certainly not a good change for me. But, from an emotional point of view, I sighed about it. I can deeply feel that there is an extremely strong sensibility in the reason for her choices and actions that has become the core driving force, and when I feel this sensibility, it is as if my own sensibility is also absorbing this nourishment and fuel.

The sensibility of the file is growing my sensibility.

"You're not going to be you, file." I warned her so out of sensuality.

“…… Is it? The voice of the file is also losing its personality, making people feel that it is no longer a human voice, her voice is obviously low, but on the ground presented in this dark void, there is a roaring echo: "Who do you think I am? ”

As far as I could perceive, everything was shaking, except for the file with the silhouette of a female figure, which suddenly opened its eyes, and it was an eye that reappeared on the face where the facial features had almost disappeared, and all observations of its face could not help but focus on this eye, as if this eye represented everything about her. What kind of eye it was, as far as I could see, it didn't appear in a human body at all—it was the only one, located in the left eye, the scarlet outline the eyeball, and the sockets were as deep black as the dark background. It feels similar to but different from the abnormal eyes I have ever seen, and I can't help but think of the incredible existence of "Jiang" and "virus".

Moreover, its pupil is spiral-shaped.

The terrifying force that stirred everything around me, whether it was the solid ground or the endless darkness, seemed to be driven by an inexplicable force that began to whirl.

In the hands of the female humanoid, the roaring, swirling power gathered, forming a visible silhouette in the blink of an eye, like a giant drill.

This is clearly not the form of power that a file possesses. The mysterious power is of unknown origin, its mechanism cannot be understood, and only the phenomena it causes can be partially observed and the effects it has actually experienced, but this uncertain possibility does not coincidentally appear. Seeing the changes in the file at this time, I am already very sure that it is definitely not her own person who caused the change in the file, nor is it simply the result of her own drive to the mysterious power, although it seems to be the explosion of some people when they fight back in a desperate situation, but its essence is fundamentally different. There is something else that is contributing to this change in the file, and the file itself has the means to receive it. My instincts were raising a strong alarm, not because of the grandiose and delicate power of the file at this time, but because of the factors that contributed to the change in the file.

What's that, exactly? I can't be sure, but I have some ideas. Powerful and abnormal power will never come to someone out of thin air, and the changes that a person will produce because of the mystery must definitely have corresponding factors in themselves, just as my strength is reflected in the fact that I am a demon pattern messenger, and even more powerful is reflected in the existence of "Jiang" in my "inside".

What's on the file? The first thing that came to my mind was that she was also a Demonic Emringer. However, it is impossible for the Demon Emringer alone to suddenly produce such an amazing manifestation in the world of consciousness. She's already outdone many consciousness walkers I know, so is the file suddenly a consciousness walker? From this question, another question arises: what exactly makes a file a consciousness walker?

Using myself as a reference, it was the power of the "river" that gave me the power to walk in consciousness. Then, what makes the file suddenly show such power in this depth of the world of consciousness will at least not be much worse than "Jiang". I think of "viruses", but, from past experience, "viruses" rarely suddenly have such an abrupt sense of existence in a certain person, but often through the behemoth of the Doomsday Shinrikyo to carry out some activities and use the ultimate weapon to regulate. It can be seen that the existence of the "virus" is more of a movement that tends to a macro whole.