I was lying on the hospital bed, my neck to my ankles firmly bound by the restraints, even when I went to the window, Dr. Nguyen Li did not loosen the restraints, she did not seem to mean it at all. www.biquge.info She looked at me and caressed me with a calm and loving gaze of pity and affection, and Tomie sat beside her, but she didn't seem to see her.

"It's a dream, you need to wake up." Dr. Nguyen Le said to me.

But how do you wake up? Isn't it her who has become the core of the Las Vegas repeater? I felt tired as soon as I started thinking about these things, and there was an urge that prevented me from continuing to think about it, and I felt that there was nothing wrong with staying here. I still vividly remember that just some time ago, I used the power of the Las Vegas repeater to drop power from the moon to the earth, of course, not to the earth of this repeater world, but to the earth in the apocalyptic fantasy - I helped another me, even if his plan was to the left with me, but I still felt that he was also "Takakawa", the same as me.

I can't remember exactly what happened after that, but the interference of the Las Vegas repeater to the world line must be resisted and sniped by other repeaters, and I can guess that the existing repeaters in the apocalyptic fantasy are in a state of mutual involvement, and this dynamic game maintains the operation of a certain world line. The Las Vegas repeater does not use my power, I occupy this repeater, but I am not the owner of this repeater, and the key to deciding how to operate lies with Dr. Nguyen Li in front of me. However, I also don't know how she works the repeater.

How much is the connection between Dr. Ruan Li I saw in this dream and Dr. Ruan Li, the core component of the repeater? I had a lot of things that I didn't know, and I wanted to think about them, but the strong sense of exhaustion and inertia prevented me from thinking deeply, and I even wanted to give up thinking. I was immersed in this ward, where Dr. Nguyen Le and Tom Jiang were, and they calmed me down and allowed me not to think about the way I looked like a seriously ill patient.

"Ah Chuan, you have to wake up, you have more things to do." Dr. Nguyen Le said it to me a second time.

"I know, I know, I just ...... Would like to stay a little longer. ...... with you" I turned my gaze to Tomie, and an extremely strong emotion welled up in my heart, and I knew that it was not just love, "and Jiang. Hey Jiang, are you okay? I don't think it's been a long time since I've seen you. ”

Dr. Nguyen Li didn't speak, she didn't hear me, she just quietly stroked my cheek - no, I think I wanted her to be as gentle as a mother.

"In fact, we've always been together." Tomie leaned forward slightly, and his plump breasts, which he never got tired of playing, were like flesh-colored jelly, showing part of it from the tight neckline. Her hand slipped in from under the sheet and into my gown, sliding slowly and gently, the warmth of her palm as if it were real. No, with what I know about Tomie, I don't think she's just a dream character in this dream. Her mystery transcends the way I know to exist, as she says, she has always been there for me, but I am not always able to observe her presence.

She's a dreamlike being more than anyone in Doomsday Vision, but I think she's real.

She is the ultimate weapon 999 and also my wife, Jiang.

"For a while, I didn't feel you, you always left me when it matters most." As I said this, I suddenly realized that I was complaining.

"You can, I'm by your side, in your soul." Tomie's hand slid up my thigh to my chest, and she suddenly switched places with Dr. Nguyen Li. Dr. Nguyen Le sat in front of Dr. Nguyen Le staring at me, while Dr. Nguyen Le sat in Dr. Nguyen Li's position and stroked me. It's all natural and calm, just like that.

Tomie's voice seemed to whisper in my ear: "You can feel me better, as long as we become one......" Her voice was full of emotion, like a warm wine, which made people feel slightly drunk before tasting it.

"If you've always been in my soul, we've always been one." I was fascinated by her scent, her voice, her touch, her temperature, her softness and hardness. Her chest grinded against mine, and her eyes were not the frightening crimson of Mae, but an intoxicating burgundy red, the crystal clear red reflected my face, very blurry, I could see the outline without seeing the expression.

"Deeper, deeper, just like we did when we first decided to be together. Full of passion, full of love, full of desire...... Tomie said, "You enter me deeply, I enter you deeply, and the more you gaze at me, the more I gaze at you." Sensibility and reason both melt in the twilight sunset, leaving only the emotions of you and me like magma, like gold, sparkling in the sun. I remember what you said, your expression, the touch of your skin......" she said, unbuttoning her gown one by one, exposing my body to her eyes, she caressed it like a treasure, stretched out her tongue and licked it, rubbing skin against skin, "Look, you're burning, you're longing, and so am I." I've been there, right in your deepest memory. ”

"Love? Or fear? I subconsciously asked, is the deepest memory love or fear?

"Both." Tomie climbed onto my bed and sat on top of me, and right next to the bed, Dr. Nguyen Le was motionless, no message was conveyed from her sitting position except the emotion in her eyes, and she seemed to not see Tomie but only looked at me. I unexpectedly didn't feel any uneasiness, no rejection and shyness, and I felt like I was melting in Tomie's embrace.

Tomie lifted her clothes, her body squirming slightly, and I felt myself enter her body. The feeling was not intense at first, just like the gentle ripples on the surface of the water, the ripples gathered into waves, and the waves began to surge, and they turned from hot springs to magma. I felt like I was melting, my body, my soul, everything about myself, melting into Tomie's body. I can't say if it's comfort or discomfort, it's just a strong feeling, a touch, an emotion, the sum of all perceptions, a bonfire that burns me as a being to ashes, and makes me born in the ashes.

I only know that I am not dead, and no matter how strong that feeling is, it can only make me feel the existence of the self more strongly, as if this self has transcended the constraints of existence and floats in the void where there is no light, but also no darkness. It also makes me feel her presence strongly, and how strong the feeling of union is, how strongly I feel her presence.

"Look, I'm right here, right inside Achuan, no matter what happens, don't forget." Tomie was like surging magma, squirming in a complex and intense way, I couldn't see her, I just felt that she had become something else, so huge, and swallowed me completely, I was in her, so I couldn't see her in full. Only her voice, piercing all these feelings, was imprinted in my heart like a red-hot iron.

I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here...... Never anywhere, never going anywhere.

"Jiang!" I couldn't bear it anymore and screamed loudly.

I didn't close my eyes, but I felt like I had opened them suddenly. I couldn't stop gasping and swinging my body hard. My body was ****, but I was still tied to the hospital bed, and there was no change in the ward in front of me, but Tomie was gone, and only Dr. Nguyen Li stared at me with the same calm, compassionate, gentle and loving eyes as always.

"What's wrong? Achuan, did you have a nightmare? She asked.

"No, no...... It's nothing. I said, "Not a nightmare." ”

“…… Lie. She affirmed, "I see fear in your eyes."

"Tomie is here." I paused and decided to be honest: "We did it once, how can it be fear?" ”

"Tomie? No, there is no Tomie. Dr. Nguyen Li once again emphasized: "There has never been any Tomie, maybe you have a spring dream?" But I can't be mistaken, you only have fear in your eyes, and if you are in a dream with the person you love, and you only get fear, it is not a spring dream. ”

"Nguyen...... Mom, I love her. I also emphasized.

"Really? I think you're sick...... The feelings are so strong that you can't tell what is love and what is fear. Dr. Nguyen Le suddenly came up, less than ten centimeters between our eyes, "You know? Too deep love and too deep horror are chaotic. So far, I don't want to talk about the Tomie thing, but you have to be clear, Achuan, love and fear should have a boundary, it's like water in a measuring cup, everyone's measuring cup is different, but if you overflow beyond the boundary, something terrible will happen. ”

She said so seriously that I couldn't help but nod. She sat back in her chair.

"I don't want to freak out you. Ah Chuan, you know, the person I care about the most is you. Dr. Nguyen Li said softly.

"Mom, I want to tell you too." I looked Dr. Nguyen Li in the eye and said, "My love for her is like love for you, and I don't want to be measured by a limited example like a measuring cup." ”

"I'm glad to hear you say that, but ......" Dr. Ruan Li wanted to say something, but he still shook his head and didn't continue. I knew she would just tell me the same thing over and over again. I didn't feel any impatience with this, on the contrary, I was glad that she cared so much.

"Can you untie me? I want to look around...... Although in a dream. I changed the subject and asked.

"No, you should wake up." Dr. Nguyen Le said seriously, "You can't stay here just because you can see Tomie here. ”

"I'm not staying in this dream because she's here." I say.

"Really? Why is that? Dr. Ruan Li asked rhetorically.

"I ...... I don't know, maybe I'm just tired and want to take a break. I said, "I haven't dreamed for a long time, and I haven't slept so deeply, and I don't even know I'm asleep." But, I assure you, Mom, I will definitely wake up. Until then, I want to go around here. ”

"If you can wake up, you can get up on your own." Dr. Nguyen Le just said, "I didn't tie you up, you tied yourself." ”

"Me?" I looked at my body, and the thickest restraint that bound my waist and abdomen was gone, and my neck was free to move, but the wrists and ankles were not yet untied.

"Maybe you say you want to go around, but actually, you just want to stay in your room, in this bed." Dr. Nguyen Le said calmly, "You can always realize that you are a patient and the patient should rest. ”

"But I felt like I wanted to get out." I stopped struggling and my body fell back to the sheets.

"There is a conflict between people's subjective feelings and instinctual feelings. If you can't unify them, you have no chance of winning on the upcoming battlefield. Dr. Ruan Li said this, nodded his forehead, pointed to his heart, and said, "Yours here, and here, must be consistent." You must understand what you most desire in your life, remember, by your life, not your expectations, your desires, and any thoughts, morals, and philosophical thinking. ”

"You mean the instinct of life? Mom. I listened to her words, and I couldn't help but think of Tomie's all-devouring enthusiasm and melt-all-melting touch before, and she was gone, but as long as the afterglow remained, I always felt that she was here, although I couldn't see it, but I could feel it, just like the instinct of life.

"No, it is the pursuit measured by life, and it is the meeting point between your subjective needs and objective needs." "You have to find this fit in order to maintain the existence of self-awareness under any conditions," says Dr. Nguyen Lê. Who are you? It was decided what that meeting point was. And what that point of convergence is also a reflection of who you are. ”

"I'm Takakawa." I say.

"Yes, but even if it's all Takakawa, Takakawa is different, and you can't deny the differences that exist between personalities." Dr. Nguyen Le said.

"No, I deny it." I said firmly, "I will not refine Takakawa's self-perception, this is not my plan, and it will not change because of how bad my situation is." Gao Chuan is Gao Chuan, and in the end there will only be one Gao Chuan. ”

"You're going to die!" Dr. Nguyen Li's tone became heavy.

"Yes, I know. There has always been only one Takakawa, and I am already a special case, but the special case must disappear. I said firmly, without hesitation: "I will die, I am already dead, do you think I will regret it?" No, I've never regretted it, that summer, that fight, that fruitless pursuit, left many regrets. But I've never regretted it. I looked into Dr. Nguyen Li's eyes without flinching and said, "At that time, I was already dead, I completely burned myself, my body, my soul, I decided to leave everything I had to 'Gao Chuan', I was serious, even now." Mom, Takakawa is me, I am Takakawa, although I am dead, but as long as Takakawa still exists, I will always exist, this is the inheritance, and because of this, you can see me now...... You don't need to grieve about it. ”

"How can it not be sad?" Dr. Nguyen Le asked me rhetorically.

This is a question I can't answer.

"As long as Takakawa is still around, I will always be in Takakawa." I just smiled and comforted her. (To be continued.) )