I wrote more in my diary than I knew, and when I saw things I thought I wouldn't write down, or shouldn't know, I felt a sense of shame. Although I don't think that what I have done is unsightly, I still care about Dr. Ruan Li's mood when she sees these contents - the role she plays at this time is my adoptive mother, no, to be specific, this is not a simple role-playing game, she is also in the position of adoptive mother here, both in mood and thought.

Indeed, there is no unsightly content, and the woman who sees these contents is not only an adoptive mother, but also a professional psychiatrist. However, from the standpoint of her identity and put yourself in her shoes, there is a question in the diary about how to deal with this repeater world, and it should be unacceptable to anyone who regards this repeater world as the only real world.

It's not that I don't think my decision was wrong, but I just care a little about Dr. Nguyen's thoughts.

However, on the other hand, Dr. Nguyen Li, who has been keeping and watching these diaries, must also understand why I have such thoughts. The words she said to me made me feel that very deeply. But, whatever she actually thinks, I have my own ideas.

Perhaps, the decision to abandon the original plan was driven by this sense of shame that she knew, but if I had not hesitated about the plan in the first place, I probably wouldn't have wavered so lightly. I've always said to myself that I had come to my senses when I carried out that cruel plan, but now I have proven that I was actually that conscious. It's not as strong as I think it is, and my heart is nowhere near as hard as steel.

When I opened my mouth to say to Dr. Ruan Li that I wanted to save the world, I was still a little hesitant, but when this sentence came out. The mood was firm, and even felt that it was even more determined than the mood of sticking to the original plan. This contrast in mood makes me more aware of my innermost thoughts, and the only confusion is whether my inner thoughts are naïve, or is it really possible to achieve them?

What exactly is Dr. Nguyen Li's plan, is she right? I didn't know that until now, and the only thing I knew was that in this unclear situation, if I made the wrong choice, I probably wouldn't be able to start all over again. My naivety, my heroic thoughts, my wishful trust in the people I love. Is that correct? Is it possible to solve the problem? Is kindness something that can be reciprocated? Is it on the tail of fate?

As in the past, in an endless doomsday erosion. I can only pray. But at least, compared to being burdened with guilt, with the bottom line of "can destroy a world", to do those Sakiya who will eventually turn their backs on a world, choose to believe in them and save the world. Of course, it is more full of warm power.

"I see." Dr. Nguyen Li seemed to have understood my choice, and the previous shock faded in her eyes, and she took off her pajamas and changed into her underwear. He said to me, "If you're happy." But, even though I told you before, go and be the hero who saves the world...... But don't you think, that's a joke? Her voice was calm and serious, "I said that before you went to save the world, right?" I don't think you can save the world. ”

I don't think she's joking, but I still think that although she really doesn't think I can save the world, the last sentence that makes me a hero and saves the world is not a joke at all. Even though she didn't think I could do it, she wanted me to do it. Perhaps, in her heart, I should be that kind of man. Although I am 108,000 miles away from Dr. Nguyen Le in terms of psychology, I still think that she came to me with that kind of emotion. Therefore, I was silent and did not refute any of her claims.

Dr. Nguyen Li adjusted the chest brace and the bottom of his pants for me to help button the back button, and then put on the two-piece jacket, and then continued to say to me: "I also said that your plan is to find the most possible hope in a desperate mood, so if you have the opportunity, I hope you can look at the world from a different perspective - this kind of words, part of which is a skill in words." Is that okay? Achuan. ”

"It doesn't matter." I replied clearly.

"And, in fact, even if you put yourself in my shoes and rethink the world, or even return to normal reality, the problems you have to face are essentially the same." Dr. Nguyen Li sighed, "The countdown to the end of this world has begun, but so far, I still don't have a concrete plan. Not only me, but also people who can recognize that the world has come to an end, are unable to come up with solutions. ”

"In other words, no matter where you are, from what standpoint you think about, whether it's fantasy or reality, the end is inevitable?" I asked.

"Any illusion must have a basis in reality." Dr. Ruan Li replied with great certainty: "It is precisely because there is an end in reality that the end of the illusion appears, and it is precisely because there is no solution to the end of reality that there is no ...... in the illusion." ”

"It turns out that it can be understood in this way, then, people are not aware of the coming of the apocalypse, and everyone is already in the apocalypse, isn't it a bit contradictory?" I continued to ask.

"No, it's not a contradiction at all." Dr. Nguyen Li frowned, as if facing a difficult question, "Because we are already in the end of the world, we don't even know that the end has come - can you understand what I say?" Achuan. ”

"Can the end itself shield people's perception of their own condition?" I seem to kind of get it.

"It should be said that the end that is happening is such an end of the world." Dr. Nguyen Le said: "But not everyone is unrecognizable, and a very small number of people have already noticed it, but. But there is no solution. And in my opinion, this situation is the origin of the prophet in the apocalyptic vision. ”

It's not the situation in the reality of the hospital, projected into the Doomsday Illusion, and the situation in the Doomsday Illusion is reflected in the Repeater World - just the idea. Dr. Nguyen Le uses the world in which he exists as a starting point to explain the apocalyptic illusion until the reality of the hospital is mapped.

Despite the opposite angle, Dr. Nguyen Le has a lot of information, and in her logical explanations, it feels like the truth can really be the case.

I can't refute Dr. Nguyen Lê's claims at all, because. The reason for the refutation can also be used in a logic based on the reality of the "hospital hospital". On the contrary, it proves that Dr. Nguyen Li is right - if the "hospital reality" can be used as the basis of reality, then the repeater world can also be used.

The subordination between the two is-for-tat, however, the situations that are reflected, and the clues that connect them. It's still the same – no matter what angle the "doomsday" is, there is a way of operating that has a strong effect on the mental side.

In "hospital reality". This effect on the spiritual aspect is accomplished through guò "lesions", and "viruses" are the source of a qiē "lesions".

And in this world of repeaters, according to Dr. Nguyen Li, the "virus" does not exist, but is only a "delusion when you are sick". The source of these bad changes is none other than those seemingly inconspicuous white Claudia.

In Doomsday Vision, the "virus" and "White Claudia" are deeply connected, and this repeater world is no exception. However, since "Claudia White" is the cause of the apocalypse. Well, the "virus" is also considered to be a subordinate state.

"Unobservable viruses and rivers...... and the white Claudia that can be observed and actually touched. Dr. Nguyen Le said, "Don't you think the latter is the more realistic thing?" Although what cannot be observed exists, why must it be thought that what cannot be observed is the subject? ”

The answer to this question must be very complicated, and I didn't think about it deeply, because even if I did draw conclusions, it would not help the current situation. Although she decided to save the world, Dr. Nguyen Le also said that she did not have any specific plans and methods, not only for her, but also for others. In such an apocalypse, not all people can rely on it, and there are very few people who can recognize the apocalypse, and whether they can recognize the apocalypse or not has also been shown to have nothing to do with knowledge, identity, occupation, and character, and after collecting a large number of jù for comparison, the result does not have any mathematical characteristics, as if it were just luck and chance.

Therefore, it is extremely difficult to find people who have the ability to do research and who can recognize the end of the world. In the mouth of Dr. Ruan Li, Dallas, who is about to cooperate, is the one who can recognize the end of the world. Although, in my eyes, he is an electronic demon messenger who has mastered the inherent enchantment, but such an identity, in the mouth of Dr. Ruan Li, can also be related to the fact that he is a "research-type expert who knows the end of the world".

When it comes to how to understand the apocalyptic fantasy and the reality of the hospital from the apocalyptic characteristics of this world, Dr. Ruan Li has compiled the information that he can't finish for three days and three nights. However, none of these sources can solve the most critical question: "What exactly is White Claudia?" ”

Yes, the white Claudia in Dr. Nguyen Li's eyes has many characteristics, which are very close to the description of "virus", or in other words, she believes that the "virus" described in my diary is the hallucination of creating zào based on "white Claudia". However, feeling the existence of the "virus" is not a unique feeling for me, but a characteristic shared by some patients.

"Even so, Ah Chuan, you are still the most sensitive patient I have ever seen." Dr. Nguyen Le said, "You are convinced of the existence of the virus because your feelings are gradually deepening. ”

"But, Mom. You think that viruses do not exist. I said.

"Perhaps, in fact, in recent research, I can no longer be sure that there is no 'virus'." Dr. Nguyen Le said, "However, it is certain that Claudia White is the origin. If the 'virus' exists, it must also be the result of Claudia's action, a process of the apocalypse. ”

"You mean, White Claudia is giving birth to a 'virus'?" I couldn't help but ask.

"I think so, but there is no more evidence, after all, the 'virus' cannot be observed. It's just that it was felt by a sensitive person like Ah Chuan. Dr. Ruan Li shook his head, "Although in the past, I always thought that this was just your illusion, but ...... White Claudia is incredible in itself, and then there are some incredible situations. It's also not worth being surprised. ”

"So, what is the situation of the end of this world?" I asked.

By the time Dr. Nguyen Le gave a detailed account of what she saw as the "end of the world", we were already walking on the forest path leading to the observatory. I was still a little surprised that there was an observatory here, but I couldn't help but feel a little dazed when I thought that Dr. Nguyen Le planned to let me understand the "vastness" of the world through the observation of the Guò Observatory in order to prove the truth of the world.

"You know what? Achuan. Here, the universe is real, not a virtual veil, but an expanding mathematical model. "No matter how real the apocalyptic visions and hospital realities are, they are hard to reach. It is precisely because of such a huge, precise and profound mathematical model that it is real. According to your diary, the apocalyptic illusion is supported by the mental consciousness of the patients. All numbers related to science are actually a general and vague idea. The reason why the gravitational coefficient is 9.8 is precisely because it is measured as 9.8 in basic science, however, no one will measure a more precise number...... Perhaps it should be said that no one will realize it. The real gravitational coefficient, what it should look like. That's because every qiē is determined by the patient's own spiritual consciousness.

However, it is not the same here, and the numbers here are cold. Precisely, it is not subject to human will, nor can normal people imagine it based on feelings, knowledge and ideas alone. Perhaps, the people in the apocalyptic illusion know that the universe exists, but they must not be able to find evidence of the existence of the universe, nor can they study the exact number of the universe. But I can here. So far, the mathematical and physical models we have constructed can be derived to the thirteenth dimension. You can see the real-time measurements of the composition of the universe at the observatory, and none of these numbers do not conform to the most profound theories, and the spiritual consciousness of patients in the hospital is not so strong as to be so powerful, right? ”

Dr. Nguyen Li's words are the most poignant, but also the most conclusive "real evidence" I have heard so far. I also don't think that a world made purely of spiritual consciousness can encompass a real universe, or that an incomparably large and precise number can be used to form a palpable model of the universe and space. In my opinion, the reason why there is a "mystery" in the apocalyptic fantasy is also a meaning of making up for the dead - precisely because it cannot be accurately composed, it must be forcibly explained by a "vague" method, so the "mystery" that is conceptually opposed to science has appeared, which makes up for people's curiosity very well, and it can explain any "why". All the things that can't be answered, just say, it's caused by "mystery", it's a convenient way, isn't it?

It is precisely because of the idea that Dr. Ruan Li wants to show "the number jù that describes the space-time of a thirteen-dimensional universe" is very incredible. I can certainly say that these numbers are all imaginary, but what is the point? When the number jù of a thirteen-dimensional universe is verified by a mathematical formula, the world described by this number jù model is the height of the thirteenth dimension - for human beings who can only feel the four-dimensional space-time, what is the difference between it and "real"?

To say that even mathematical formulas are an illusion is to underestimate a huge, cold and logical mathematical system. At the very least, even if there are a million patients involved in the construction of the apocalyptic fantasy, they will definitely not be able to rely on the fantasy to make up a "rigorous and logical system of advanced mathematics that can be applied to the current world".

The evidence that Dr. Ruan Li is about to issue that "this world is real" will be more powerful than the isolated hospital that "the hospital is real", because the "thirteen-dimensional universe space-time" is too terrifying, both in terms of scope and rigor. Also, although I can't understand what the "thirteen dimensions" are, just by laying out the numbers and theories, it is already very powerful, even if I don't understand it.

Thinking about it the other way, although in the "hospital reality", I have already thought of the possibility of "high-dimensional storage" from the existence of "virus", but. The specific thirteen-dimensional theory and number jù seem to have never been seen before.

What still bothers me today is the old concept of "repeater world", and the subordinate nature of this word is so strong that when you think of the repeater world, you can't help but think of it. This world is attached to the apocalyptic illusion and exists, a temporary number jù hedging space. And such a temporary hedge space has a larger, more accurate and perfect space-time model of the universe than the "Doomsday Fantasy"? It's hard to believe.

"Or, would you like to give it a try?" Dr. Nguyen Le suddenly asked me, "If the world we live in is really destroyed, will the apocalyptic illusion and the reality of the hospital still exist?" ”

"No kidding, Mom." I didn't hesitate to say no, "If you can try, why do you want to use this way to make me re-understand the world?" ”

"Because. I'm not really sure if that's really possible. Dr. Ruan Li showed a contemplative expression, "White Claudia is a very incredible being, although it looks like a plant, but in the quantum state, it does not meet the standards of a plant. The more I look at it, the more I wonder, real and unrealistic. How do you tell the difference? ”

"Are you studying quantum mechanics? Mom. "I was a little surprised.

"Ah, no. It's just a little bit of thinking, and in fact, I can't really understand the advanced mathematics and physics. However, there are professionals who can consult. Dr. Nguyen Li said: "These words were actually said by the other party, although it is difficult for me to experience the incredible. However, the person I know is not exaggerated in this regard. ”

“…… Is he a member of the Doomsday Shinrikyo cult? I couldn't help but ask.

"Yes. Rest assured, the real Doomsday Shinrikyo is nothing like what you write in your diary. Dr. Nguyen Li touched my head. said: "Perhaps, the story I once told you was too profound, so you involuntarily distorted the image of the Doomsday Shinrikyo in the illusion. ”

"But, Mom, you still haven't said what the end of the world is all about, and what the Doomsday Shinrikyo is about." I couldn't help but urge.

Dr. Nguyen Li hesitated a little at this time, I don't know why she always shifted the topic when it came to the main content of the apocalypse. But she seemed to understand what I was thinking, smiled and said, "Because ...... The end of this world is really very special, and it is difficult to find a standard description. ”

Despite all this, Dr. Nguyen Le decided to tell me the ins and outs of the situation, because, if you don't even know what the end of the world is all about, how can you stop it? After that, I finally understood why Dr. Nguyen Le knew the end of the world, but told me that there was no plan or method, because this end is indeed impossible to know accurately, although, compared to the end caused by the "virus", this end caused by "Claudia White" has a substantial subject that can be observed.

The beginning of the end had been foretold long ago.

The 1999 doomsday prophecy, which was very famous in the world before 1999, when it spread around the world, people who heard it panicked nine times out of ten, maybe they didn't put this panic on their faces, but the closer to 1999, the more profound the sense of the countdown to the end became, and in addition, some people used this prophecy for commercial activities, so when 1999 arrived, it didn't look like a joke.

However, for the average person, from the moment we entered 1999, the world continued to function as usual, and although the news reported several natural disasters that seemed to be associated with the "end times", life in non-war-torn countries was generally peaceful. Gradually, people began to think that the 1999 apocalyptic prophecy was just nonsense.

But this is not the case, even if most people do not feel it, but some people still realize that the "end of the world" has indeed come due to some factors. However, it is based on "personal observation and understanding", "sensitivity to numbers" and "perceptual cognition", and other channels that are not completely consistent.

Although it is not without trying to warn others and prove themselves right, however, there is no effect, because the person who does not perceive it, in any case, will not be persuaded by others, nor can he perceive it himself. (To be continued......)