I had a dream, not a nightmare Las Vegas, probably not a ghost nightmare, but, even in the dream, I was pretty sure it was a nightmare. In this dream, my consciousness was clearer than ever in the dream, the picture flowing around me was beautiful, the white petals were flying in the air, and I was in this sea of flowers, but I felt a deep fear hidden behind this beautiful picture. It seems that the flying white flowers also foreshadow a death and despair ending.

It was a sense of restraint that I couldn't get rid of no matter what, and it was hard for me to take a step. I wanted to get out of this sea of flowers, to escape from this despair that was eroding my heart, and I could use all my strength, and my feet seemed to be filled with lead. I don't feel tired, it's just that my feet don't listen.

I am very familiar with this fear, when I face the "virus", when I face the "river" – or rather, when I feel that I am facing them - this deep, inescapable, corrosive fear arises spontaneously, as if it has been hidden deep in the body and heart, and I have not noticed it until I feel it coming.

"White Claudia." I heard someone whisper in my ear.

I don't know who is speaking, but I have a sense of familiarity, but I can't locate someone I am familiar with: is it Dr. Nguyen Li? Is it Mae? Is Tomie? Or is it the "river" itself? Of course, this voice is also very much like my own heart.

I wanted to recall why I had such a dream, but the things I thought I could remember were so hazy that I couldn't help but ask myself how "clear" I felt at this time. Is it true?

My mind was like stepping on a one-way street. I don't think it should be like this, but it's completely impossible to turn around or go the other way.

My thoughts. It seemed to be predestined from the beginning, and it was running wild on a predestined track, which made me feel more and more that when I started to have ideas, it was when I was the most stupid.

However, thinking is wonderful. When I think about it, I always feel like I have a way to escape and save those sorrows and despairs. Of course, it can't be done. It's another story, but if I hadn't thought about it, I think I'd have been immersed in this fear that seems to lead to the abyss.

"The first word is a dream,

From slumber,

Quietly bring out the secrets of my heart......"

The voice rang out again...... It's intermittent, but it's different from what it used to be. It was as if the sound was about to disappear from the wind, and the unheard part melted into the air. The white petals are still flying. I took heavy steps to find the source of the sound, and it seemed to appear directly in my mind, and it seemed to echo in all directions, sometimes closer, sometimes distant. But I think there must be an exact sound source. I wanted to find it, I didn't know what it was, but I thought, maybe it's called "Jiang".

“…… Go down the river to find the key.

Descend the river to the end. Eventually, you will reach the place where the "inside" is.

Those of you who have the keys in your hand, you should follow the following instructions and set off for Ideal Village.

On the first night, the living sacrifice chosen by the key was offered......"

The sound is still ethereal and elegant, full of psychedelic beauty in the sight of flower petals flying, but the content is gradually becoming ominous. I had a strong premonition that I couldn't help but cover my ears and not listen. However, I can't do that, it's like another will in my body, and when I resist, this will become clearer.

It suddenly occurred to me that I was a mentally ill person.

"Who am I? I'm Takakawa. "Of course, I haven't changed.

So, who is the person who speaks to "Takakawa"?

The answer to this question could have been blurted out, but when I was about to answer, the answer suddenly disappeared from my mind.

All I know is that the more I pursue this question, the more dread I feel. But this increased fear, as well, seems to mean that I'm getting closer to the answer.

I had to listen carefully to this ethereal voice.

It sings: "...... On the second night, the rest of the people tore apart the two people who were close together. On the third night, O remnant, praise my noble name......"

I don't know who the pronouns refer to, or what they refer to.

Immediately after that, the content began to change again:

"The second word is the wind,

Let me swing my wings and fly to the crook of God's arm,

Counting the sad past that has passed,

Golden apple, another one has fallen ......"

Where is it? I stopped, thinking the sound source was right next to me. I looked around, but all around me was a plain of flowers, and the white petals flew into the air like frost and snow. I felt weak and immediately fell to the ground, and then my body also lay down.

The third word is hope...... "I suddenly felt that this was actually my own voice.

"On the ninth night, the witch was revived, and no one survived. On the tenth night, the journey ends and ends in the ideal land. "The voice didn't feel like my heart anymore, it was coming from behind me, and I felt someone behind me, and before I turned my head completely and saw each other clearly, the corner of my eye seemed to have reflected the figure of the other person, and then, when I turned completely away, there was nothing behind me except flying petals. The owner of the voice disappeared like a bubble.

"Do you believe me?" The voice asked behind him again, this time, more clearly, it seemed to be the voice of Dr. Nguyen Li. I remembered that she did ask such a thing, and I was silent when I couldn't answer, and now I'm just having this nightmare.

"Nguyen...... Mom......? "I didn't dare to turn my head for fear that if I had to see it, it would disappear.

"You...... Love me? The voice sounded again, but it no longer had the same clear feeling as before, it seemed to be Dr. Ruan Li, but it seemed to have changed into something else......

"Jiang?" I still didn't look back, just asked. In my mind, another memory came to mind:

"Obviously, the 'Jiang' in the story was created by you using me as a template." Dr. Nguyen Le once said.

I couldn't respond at the time. But I don't think Dr. Nguyen Le is just wishful thinking. The feeling at the time was so ambiguous and embarrassing that I subconsciously wanted to refute it.

"Jiang and Dr. Nguyen Li are not the same person." Such a refutation seems to be taken for granted. But. I didn't do that.

The sound behind it became very faint, like breathing, which could only indicate that it was there. I didn't look back, I just replied, "I do love you, Jiang." I hope that you are saving zài. ”

Then, it disappeared.

I woke up from my dream with no buffer at all. Suddenly, the scene in front of me changed from a white Claudian petal flying in the sky to an unfamiliar ceiling. It was also at this time that I was sure that the "consciousness of consciousness" that I felt before was nothing more than an illusion, and that I was now conscious. is really sober.

There is no sense of ignorance that has just woken up, and his thinking is sharp and fast. But the feelings are expanding, looking empty and abrupt. Rapid spinning thinking can't completely fill this empty and abrupt feeling. I feel like I have a lot to do, but I don't know what to do first. Where to start. There is always a stupid self, no matter what you do, you will only taste the taste of failure and despair in the endgame.

No, I'm sure I'll make it. I can definitely do what I want to do, but without this kind of persistence, what is the point of what I have done so far? Thinking so, I rolled over and sat up, savoring the negative and decadent thoughts and emotions, and then, in doing so, allowed myself to be dominated by some cruel reason.

I don't have much time to waste in this self-pity.

When the mood is tidied up, the window has been brightened, and the morning light that spills into the room is orange-red, gentle and magnificent, so that the exquisitely decorated room is suddenly filled with a fresh mood. When I went to the bathroom to tidy up my appearance and put cold water on my face, my brain, which already felt very sober, was more sober. I leaned over the sink and looked at myself in the mirror—suddenly, I felt a little unfamiliar with what I looked like in the mirror. How long has it been since you looked in the mirror? I can't help but think.

There are many differences between myself in the mirror and myself in my mind. For example, I was thinner than I thought, my face was paler, my body seemed weak, my arms were slender, and I didn't feel at all strengthened by the fourth-level magic pattern. The obvious sick appearance, I thought, is more like Takakawa's body in the reality of the hospital. Of course, compared to the real body in the hospital, there are still some differences, at least, standing in front of the mirror now, I am not a cripple.

"Able-bodied limbs and clear mind." Isn't that better than the worst of times? I tugged at the corners of my mouth and smiled at myself in the mirror, and he returned one - what should I say? I think that the sick and weak teenager can still get a little extra points in terms of appearance.

Last night, Dr. Nguyen Le said a lot to me, and those contents were probably the trigger for the nightmare I had before. My heart was shaken even more than I had imagined, and it was clear that the basis of information and observation obtained from the "reality of the hospital" was already very solid. Although I didn't fully feel that the "hospital reality" was the real reality, and there was some hesitation, I never thought that there would be a situation where the worldview would be forcibly reversed at this time and in such an environment.

I can't repeat everything that Dr. Nguyen Li said last night, but the impression left by those contents is deeply imprinted in my heart.

This world, perhaps, is really not what I always thought.

"Virus...... River...... Isn't there a zài? I exhaled deeply and dried my hair vigorously with a towel before I shoved my entire head under the faucet.

However, even if the "virus" and "river" do not exist, the world in the eyes of Dr. Nguyen Li still has not escaped the apocalyptic crisis, and there is still another kind of existence that has taken the place of "pathogen". Although the position on which Dr. Nguyen Li's truth is based is full of contradictions with the position on which I have previously understood the world, a careful discerning reveals that there are actually many situations in which the relationship between objects and shadows is one of reality.

I combed through the situations that I remembered that weren't too complicated. Leaving aside what "real" is for the time being, Dr. Nguyen Le said before that the world is still in line with the "1999 apocalypse" situation, and. Compared to the previous apocalyptic illusions, the current world, whether it is the repeater world or the real world, is in a more intuitive apocalyptic state, because the real date at this time is actually mid-1999.

This answer. It also means that the world had already begun the apocalyptic process before the mystical spread, and it was not mystification that contributed to the apocalypse. If we look at Dr. Nguyen Li's statement from an earlier perspective, we will probably associate the apocalyptic process with the "Nazi conspiracy". The Nazis have this Las Vegas repeater in their hands, as evidenced if the apocalyptic process of this repeater world had already begun before we, the invaders, entered. In fact, the Nazis intended to directly contribute to the collapse of the repeater.

However, when it came to Dr. Nguyen Li, the situation was not so simple. Even if many of what I have seen and experienced are hallucinations, they must have a basis in reality and cannot be fabricated out of thin air.

She reminded me last night, "Why don't you try to trust me?" "I can't give a definitive answer to this question. However, there is no denying it. When I tried to believe the world she described, many of my doubts in the past suddenly became clear.

Even so, I've always thought that the temporary hedge space attached to the apocalyptic fantasy is actually the real world. Still can't be accepted all at once. Dr. Nguyen Le made me look at my diary, which had a huge impact on me, I didn't think about it at the time, but now I think about it, using the power of "mystery". It's not that it's impossible. However, isn't it too despicable to use this approach of "pushing the mystery to the mystery whenever there is any confusion"?

I had to think about what it would be like if Dr. Nguyen Li's words were true. But in that case, it must have hit me hard.

However, Dr. Nguyen Li's explanation of the world and my problems, like the "hospital reality", has a very clear and real basis.

"White Claudia...... The origin of a qiē? I muttered to myself and pushed the door open.

Today, Dr. Nguyen Le plans to take me to a nearby observatory, where she intends to use "a macrocosmic existence" to prove that the world she lives in seems real. And I also think that if she can do it, I probably won't be able to refute her. Even in the "hospital reality" that was once close to the truth, the place where I was was just a lonely island hospital.

When I left the room, I felt an aura of "mystery", which disappeared when the chain of judgments unfolded. I can't be like Dr. Nguyen Li, who assumes that the world is real and that there is no mystery in it. In my perception, Dr. Nguyen Li's heavy blow, although effective, is still not enough to replace my own perception all along.

I knew very well that Dr. Nguyen Le would continue to force the truth she knew into my brain. That's what happened to the workshop and the research deal with Dallas. And the reason why such a drastic method is used is precisely because time is running out in this world, and she needs a hero to save this qiē.

Dr. Nguyen Le was not very optimistic about my rescue operation, both in the story in her diary and in her eyes. ”

I had no reason to hate her, and when she stared at me, I really couldn't resist being such a real object.

To put it simply, what Dr. Nguyen Li is doing now is no different in nature from the "reality of the hospital".

Because once again talking about heroes, talking about the truth of this repeater world, and the "agent of doom" mentioned by Dr. Nguyen Lê, I can't help but think of Carmen who once called herself agent of doom.

I remembered the first time I met him, our conversation:

"What is this place?"

"Doomsday Vision."

"Why did you send us here?"

"To save the world."

When he mentioned Doomsday Vision, I was a little skeptical.

I began to summarize the information I got from him. There are many people who, like me, have been pulled into this world by a special pathway, and we are here because this guy who claims to be an agent wants to save the world. His tone was as if the real world was going to look like it was here at some point in the future.

I don't know how many people he found, but we were like brave candidates.

Yes, the Demon Pattern Messenger, also known as the Chosen One, in the past Doomsday Illusion, probably shouldered the obligations and responsibilities of the brave candidates, of course, not all brave candidates will eventually become brave, and the brave will also be predicted to die and fall in the face of the Doomsday Shinrikyo. In fact, in the apocalyptic fantasy of the past, not a single "brave man who saved the world" did not exist.

I know how difficult it is to be a hero like that. When even "what the world really looks like" is ambiguous, what a feeble slogan "save the world" is.

Today, however, Dr. Nguyen seems ready to take the plunge. Her toughness, earnestness, and determination, I have felt strongly from her actions and thoughts. So, I didn't refuse, even if I still couldn't fully put myself in her shoes and look at what she thought was the "truth", but I couldn't refuse her, especially when it came to "saving the world, being a hero".

Today, I'm going to break the silence and tell her what I really think.

It's not about "how the truth is", it's just that she needs me. She needs me to believe in her, to help her, and she has bet everything she has on me, so I have to respond to her head-on. She may or may not be able to find others, but I think that she can think of me and look forward to me at such a time, which is the most gratifying thing in a series of bad things.

As Dr. Nguyen Le said, if you can't find a way to save the world from your original worldview, you can only gamble on your luck, so why not try to trust her and see if there is a new path?

I knocked on Dr. Nguyen's door, and when she answered, I pushed it open and entered.

Dr. Nguyen Li didn't seem to have slept all night, his face was full of exhaustion, and his calm eyes were clouded with melancholy as he looked at me. She still seems to care a lot about what she said last night, obviously it is she who opens the "truth", and I am the one who bears the impact, but in the end, it is I who adjusts first.

"Achuan?" Dr. Ruan Li pulled his coat, and the air conditioner in the room was turned on a little low, "Why is it so early?" ”

"I've got it figured out, Mom." I closed my eyes, and when I opened them again, all the distractions were gone, "I really can't tell where reality is and what is illusion." I can't deny that what I wrote in my diary has not been a fictional story for me so far. But, even so," I paused, and said explicitly, "since she needs me, I am more than willing to believe her." It may be difficult to do, but I will work hard, and then, in the process of working hard, I will find the right answer. ”

Dr. Nguyen Li was stunned, although she started saying those words last night, she didn't seem to think that I would say these words to her at such a time and in such a tone.

"Mom has also read the diary, read those, the secrets in my heart, if there is a force that prompts me to remember things that I shouldn't know, then my mother, who also knows those contents, must understand how I originally treated the world, right?" I said, "I do have my own plan, and I always feel that my plan is the right one...... No, I have to. However, since my mother needs me, I am willing to give up that plan and try those possibilities that I can't understand for my mother's sake. ”

"Ah Chuan—" Dr. Nguyen Li's voice trembled a little, her glasses widened and she stared at me, as if waiting for me to continue, to say the words she wanted to hear.

"Since my mother thought I could do it and chose me, it proves that I do have a chance. Even if I don't know how many chances I have to fail, I don't want to miss even the slightest opportunity. And, no matter what this repeater world is, I don't want my mom and Sakiya to die, I hate such an apocalypse! I said firmly.

"Let's save the world! Use mom's method! (To be continued......)