Dr. Nguyen Le spent an afternoon educating me about the world she saw, including the way of thinking based on this worldview, and many of her ideas were enlightening after putting aside her preconceptions. I have a clearer idea of my plan. I consulted my diary over and over again, trying to explain every conceivable contradiction with my own new ideas, and of course, it could not solve every contradiction perfectly, even if it seemed explanatory, some parts gave people more confidence, and in others it seemed a little arrogant. For example, why does my diary have a third-person God-mode description of "what happened to someone else that I shouldn't have known?" Dr. Nguyen Lê's view of this repeater world as the real worldview can explain this problem very well, while my worldview of the "real side" is a bit far-fetched, and further assumptions must be made about the existence of "Jiang".

I would like to think that "Jiang" exists in zài, but it should be presumed from the level of worldview whether "Jiang" exists in zài, but on this issue, we must first assume that "Jiang" exists in zài and is in my body. The "third-person God" is actually observing what is happening from a comprehensive perspective and feeding the information back to me. What I write in my diary is not just my own story, but is full of a strong flavor of the perspective of "Jiang".

The "third-person" situation, which can only be explained based on the existence of "Jiang", reminds me of the first time I met Tomie in a post-apocalyptic fantasy, and after experiencing an adventure with her, I was encouraged by her to write down my own experience as an adventure story. This memory is still full of warmth, the smell and touch of the time, Tomie's tone and expression, and his own mood. It's as if you're about to jump out of your head and reappear in front of you.

When it comes to the existential nature of the "river", weaknesses arise in every worldview. When I don't talk about the existence of "Jiang", I see the world full of confusion, pain, and despair. On the contrary, as long as the existence of "Jiang" is recognized. It's like lighting a lamp in the dark.

In the process of repeated examination and reflection, I once again confirmed that for myself, "Jiang" must be preserved. It is my light, my heat, my life, my destiny. Just assuming it's illusory and unreal makes me miserable and unable to make it through the apocalypse. Find a little hope.

Both the past and the present have a similar core, and that is that I have to observe it and confirm its existence. It's not like it is now, even if it's in human form, because of something I don't understand. Nor can it prevent the situation from disappearing from my observations.

What the hell is going on with Tomie? I couldn't help but think like this in the bottom of my mind. I'm not worried about it. It's just that from the time I tried to organize my worldview, I always had this thought: what kind of state is the humanoid river when it is not around me, and I can't feel the "river" in my body? If it's an illusion, it's when I can't observe it. Naturally, it can be considered that "there is no zài", but in the various events I have experienced, there are always some clues that I can't think of. "Jiang" does not exist zài.

Only the existence of zài, which is not determined by my subjective observation, is the truth of the existence of zài, so if "Jiang" is real, of course, it will not lose its own existential nature because of whether I observe it or not. My observations, however, determine how it will be stored. Whether it is the way of the "virus", or the way of the "river" that I am familiar with—this is the core of all the plans, and it is also something that does not exist in the projects that "Takakawa" participated in in the past. Including the "Super Color" and "Super Dorothy" of the hospital's reality, as far as I know, I have never thought about it from this perspective.

However, it is also undeniable that such a move, against the backdrop of "the end has come", is fraught with risks. If the most central thing that determines the direction of a plan goes wrong, then the plan itself is likely to bring about a worse outcome than no plan. I have to implement the plan that only I can confirm according to my own ideas, and there is still a lot of pressure.

No one around me had the same idea, and on the contrary, there were many plans against it, and I could not convince them at all, because my explanation was far-fetched and they were more rational.

I read the stories in my diary that I "shouldn't have known". I see that the brilliance of people other than myself, their personalities, struggles, and hopes, should not be denied with the phrase "they are all characters of an illusory story". If this is a daily life without apocalypse, then it must be normal to think that "mystery" does not exist, and that "the characters in the story are just fiction". However, no matter in which world, no matter which worldview you use to observe the world you are in, the "end of the world" is always existing, and it is advanced in a way that mortals cannot understand, even in this repeater world, Dr. Ruan Li, who cannot recognize the "mystery", has not also noticed the culprit of "Claudia White"? Even if "White Claudia" can be proved by experts in other disciplines from scientific theories that it is more scientific than "virus" and "river", and has a sense of existence, it cannot be denied that the existence of the higher than the "eleventh dimension" and the theory used to explain this high-dimensional situation are either incomprehensible to ordinary people, or cannot prove the correctness of the theory itself - the more high-end the theory, the more loopholes on the basis of the theory cannot be stored, and the more there are situations that cannot be falsified or verified. It is gratifying to be able to prove, of course, but in reality, many times, for theoretical things, the inability to falsify is already the limit.

Although "White Claudia" is more approachable in observation than "virus" and "river", its existence is still "unfalsifiable". And how far is this height from the "virus" and the "river"? For us humans, it's immeasurable. If the world of zài "virus" and "river" is just a fantasy world, then what if there is such a world of "white Claudia" and zài?

The world in our eyes is no longer the time when mathematics and physics can prove it. We can only look at it from the height of philosophy.

When I thought of this, my confusion, shock and longing for the future calmed down. Actually, if you think about it, Dr. Nguyen Li's persistence, and the apocalyptic vision. and the persistence of others in the reality of the hospital, it makes no difference. Dr. Nguyen Le has his own reason for treating other worlds as unreal beings, so why not the people of other worlds? In the world of philosophy, there is no universe, how big the world is, and how many "unsolvable mysteries" exist. None of them are decisive, but they are more adapted to the "end of the world" than any other discipline.

I don't know much about philosophy, but I also know that thinking about "the truth of the world and oneself, where it comes from and where it goes" is itself a manifestation of philosophy. Philosophy does not have a substantial interference role in many things. However, it has more than any other discipline. More tolerant of "abnormal" and "incorrect".

If I look at the "end of the world" on a philosophical level, it will make me feel more relaxed.

I read, recall, think, analyze. Looking for one's own adventures, the perceptions of others, and the different worldviews that best embody the "Trinity". The quality of the "Trinity" is "unity", that is, in a kind of one-sidedness of observation. It exists in different aspects, but it does not have a clear diversity in itself.

It has already been assumed that "Claudia White", "Virus" and "Jiang" are a trinity. The envisaged "super high river", which integrates the different "high rivers", will also become a similar storage zài. In contrast, Sakiya also has such conditions, because, whether in the reality of the hospital, the illusion of the end or in this repeater world, they have all been observed, and other "people who should have existed in theory but have not encountered in practice" are still quite suspicious in philosophy.

It is only at the philosophical level that we can use "our own observation" to determine whether the existence of a thing is "one" or "many".

From these perspectives, isn't the "personality preservation device" and "spiritual integration device" that "Takakawa" is looking for also have a suggestive meaning?

Now, my observations of Sakiya and them are all "split", to put it simply, I am actually looking at them in each world as an independent person, even if I mentally tell myself that they are actually the same person, but in fact, I can't do it at all conceptually, as if there is an invisible wall that locks different women in separate cages. And the usefulness of the "personality preservation device" and the "spiritual integration device" as I understand it is not exactly what I can do, conceptually, to see them in these different cages as the same? Regardless of the perspective of other disciplines, to think about the meaning of these two special devices, from the perspective of psychology, this is an extremely strong suggestive effect—through preservation and integration, the existence of different women in different worlds will condense and become conceptually one, and this uniqueness is the most real one.

The so-called "Super Takakawa" is actually the only concept like this, but the way to achieve this concept is different.

As for how the "personality preservation device" and the "spiritual integration device" came about, why did they appear suddenly, and what does it have to do with the "virus"? What is it called in different worlds? It's hard to find answers to these questions, but you don't really need to find them. Because, at the psychological level I need, they are a kind of thing that "must be stored", and it doesn't matter at all whether they actually save zài or not.

For me, it is possible to help myself to recognize the "preservation" and "integration" of other people, and such things are the "personality preservation device" and the "spiritual integration device".

It's like God is God because He is omniscient and omnipotent. On the other hand, if such a being, although it is called God, is not omniscient and omnipotent, then it is not God in the true sense of the word, but only has the title of "God", and is not in essence the same being.

The "Personality Preservation Device" and the "Spiritual Integration Device", including the various preparations related to the "Super Takakawa" project, are actually in this sense.

At the same time, it is necessary to achieve integration in at least this sense—regardless of the actual effect—so that psychologically, we can conceive of the situation of observing the "river".

Compared with Sakiya, Dr. Ruan Li's situation is actually more troublesome. Because, Sakuya they are in the world I experienced. All of them can be observed, and in the Doomsday Illusion, there is no Zài Dr. Ruan Li, although I met her in this Repeater World, and from the perspective of the Doomsday Illusion, the Repeater World is a being that is attached to the Doomsday Illusion. She stored in the world of the repeater, and naturally she can also think that she stored in the apocalyptic fantasy, but in the actual cognition, in view of the examples of Sakuya and others, as well as the updated world view, it is impossible to regard this repeater world as an "accessory" to the apocalyptic fantasy, so for me. The inability to observe her existence in the apocalyptic illusion is itself a major flaw in observing the unity of her existence.

Whether it is me or Sakiya, what they will eventually achieve must be the integration of them in the hospital reality, the doomsday illusion and the repeater world, and this integration acquiesces that the doomsday illusion is a real aspect, so it is impossible to confirm whether it is stored in the doomsday illusion Dr. Ruan Li. Instead, it will seem unreal.

The solution is also to save zài - I have to find a zài that corresponds to Dr. Nguyen Li in the apocalyptic illusion. It may be a person, or a non-person, no matter what, there must be such a being, and it is able to convince me. This thing is Dr. Nguyen Li's Cheng dù.

Looking back on the above ideas, whether it is the difficulty itself or the solution to the difficulty, the subjective factor is very strong. But, for me. Objective correctness is actually not so important, because even if we look at the problem objectively, we cannot explain the cause and principle of the "end of the world", and what are "Claudia White", "virus" and "Jiang". Such ambiguous objectivity leaves nothing but pain and despair. In the face of the unreasonable, no need to explain, no explanation, in short, the end of the world that destroys the concept of "world" in the first place, not just the end of the world such as "destroying the universe and destroying mankind", what better way than to look at it subjectively?

In the past, I never imagined that one day I would elevate the perspective of "apocalypse" to the level of philosophy and concept. I also think that many people don't think about it that way. Generally speaking, the end of the world is the destruction of mankind and the destruction of the planet.

"Philosophical apocalypse?" In my ears, I heard the voice of Dr. Ruan Li. I abruptly stopped my pen, held down my notebook, and looked back. I saw that Dr. Nguyen Li was already standing behind the chair at some point, over my shoulder, staring at the notebook - I was not sure how much she had seen, and this time in the diary, I inevitably recorded the real thoughts in my heart.

"Don't be nervous, you've been in this situation many times." Dr. Nguyen Li brought a chair, sat down next to me, and said, "If the treatment is useless, I think you will soon forget about some of these records." For me, what you write in your diary, no matter how shocking, for me is only helping me to grasp your psychological changes. The content itself does not make sense. ”

That is, no matter what I think, the idea itself is not important, but the reason for the idea, right? Mom. I lifted my palm slightly, and Dr. Nguyen Li's calm voice was such a magic that I could trust her unreservedly. Trust is the most critical link between psychologists and patients.

"Yes, any information you receive, no matter where you get it, is actually subtly changing your mind. No matter how stubborn a person is, this change is always existent. I have warned you that the information I receive from this is going to be a powerful shock. Under this shock, no matter how your thoughts change, I never think that they will be exactly the same as my thoughts. In a calm, relaxed tone, Dr. Nguyen Le said, "I want you to trust me, not think the same way as me." And then......," she glanced at her notebook, "I saw a reassuring result. The change in your psychology is a change that comes from trusting me and trusting the information I give. ”

I was silent, not knowing how to respond.

"The philosophical apocalypse." Dr. Nguyen Le said again, "It's an interesting idea. Personally, if it is a philosophical apocalyptic text, which leads to the substantive apocalypse, and it must be dealt with from a philosophical perspective, it may be easier. As you envisioned, starting with the unity of self-knowledge and observing other things in a unified way, whether or not it is true that it can solve other people's problems, but, I think, it will definitely solve your own problems. ”

I was still silent, not knowing how to respond. But Dr. Nguyen Le apparently didn't need my response either.

"Although mental and psychological problems can be solved with drugs, they are never a radical cure, but must be solved psychologically. A long time ago, you never thought that you were not united, and then you began to realize that you are not the only self, but you did not think that it was a problem that had to be solved, but on the contrary, you felt that the other self made you feel convenient. Dr. Nguyen Li paused, "I think that's why you haven't been able to cure your memory impairment and split personality because you feel like you need it." Now, you have the idea that you have to put it all together and it will definitely help you a lot in your treatment. ”

"If you cure memory impairment and split personality, will you cure all diseases?" I asked rhetorically.

"No, your mental complications have reached a very alarming level, you know, but only partially. But that's a good start. Dr. Nguyen Le replied in the affirmative.

"But even if it's cured, do you think it's going to be of any use to save the world? Mom. "I asked again, because Dr. Nguyen Li's perspective on the world is different from mine.

"It doesn't matter." Dr. Nguyen Li said calmly, "Ah Chuan, you are my son first, then my patient, and finally a candidate for a hero to save the world. I have brought you here, except to study the problem of the end of the world, but I have repeatedly reminded you that the most fundamental purpose has always been to treat you. Achuan, you can't forget jì, you will stand here, the original intention is not to save the world, maybe you want to do that, treating your own condition is the highest priority. Of course, it would be better to connect self-healing and saving the world, as it is now. ”

"Don't you blame me? Mom. These things...... Crazy, isn't it? "I glanced at what I had written.

"No, you can't compare normal people to yourself. It's cruel to say that, but since you can admit that you're mentally ill, you shouldn't be surprised by what you've written. Dr. Nguyen Li's statement is as sharp as a knife's edge, "You should realize that the mentally ill self writes these things that are often called the babbling of the mentally ill." At the same time, you should also understand that it is not your fault, but that you have no control over yourself, and, in large part, are affected by the end of the world. ”

"But, Mom, you said that I was already mentally ill before the end of the world." I say.

"Yes, but what does it matter? Blaming all the mistakes for the end of the world, if it makes it easier for you, that's all that matters to me. Dr. Ruan Li smiled gently, put his hand on the top of my head and rubbed it, "No matter when the world is ruined, human beings can only do what they can do, Ah Chuan, can you understand?" This limitation is the reason for the birth of philosophy. But it is precisely because of this that philosophy has become the only thing that, in the sense, can break through the limitations of human beings themselves. People use thinking and imagination to try to transcend the world, not to act. So, even if you put the things you can't bear and the problems you can't solve, put them on the end of the world, and then look at yourself from a philosophical perspective. (To be continued......)