"That's right, I'm coming back from the future, but I just came here and had an accident, and now I'm hungry, I still have a bag of sausages to bake and eat, but a woman stole my sausages, and stole my wallet and clothes, I don't know what to do now, I can only think about life there. So Uncle Policeman, I'm really a good person. ”

"So that's why you called the police bare-bottomed?"

The policeman's sister, who was in charge of making the record, looked up at the monkey covering the egg and the shocking scars on his body, and frowned.

"Name"

"I was born in 2420."

"I ask your name!"

"Tom Cruise."

There was a crisp sound of "pop", and the policeman's sister slapped the pen in her hand on the table: "You are so nonsense again, believe it or not, I detained you first." ”

"Look, Uncle Policeman. I told you that I came from the future, why don't you believe it. ”

The duty room of the police station was empty, Ye Fei, who was on night duty for the first time, actually encountered such a neurotic, she said that she was not worried about whether it was true or false, after all, she was just an assistant policeman, and she was going to be killed by a neurotic, I am afraid that it was really tens of thousands of yuan and a certificate of merit, which was really not worth it. But in fact, she couldn't escape, those old fritters ran home early to sleep, if she didn't take the case, she would be able to pack up her things and go home early tomorrow morning.

So the way she stared at her now was just to cheer herself up, and if this neurosis really broke out and hurt people, she would be afraid to rely on the baton in her hand...... It's a bit of a hang.

"Be honest!"

"Uncle policeman, I have something to say." The monkey wiped his nose: "You should find me a dress at this time, you are so beautiful, it will be embarrassing if you suddenly become hard." ”

Ye Fei took a deep breath, gritted her teeth and took off a colleague's police uniform from the wall and threw it over, then carefully sat back in her position and looked at the strange person in front of her.

"Give me another stutter."

Fortunately, the monkey is very easy to deal with, after Ye Fei threw the potato chips and biscuits he kept for supper, he didn't say any more nonsense, except for asking for water to drink halfway, the rest of the time was relatively quiet.

The well-fed and well-fed monkey wore a significantly smaller women's police uniform and leaned on the stool without an image of burping, but it was a pity that the opposite was a little policewoman, otherwise she would have to smoke a cigarette, that was the feeling of the fairy race.

"In our time, everyone ate nutritious meals, one tube of toothpaste for breakfast, two tubes for lunch, and half a tube for dinner.

"Our usual vehicles are gravity-defying cars, you know? Floating. ”

"People of our time, when they go out to travel, they all go to space, there is no passion on the earth, Moscow to New York is six minutes, for example, I live in Singapore, but I have to go to Shanghai every morning to eat xiaolongbao, and then go to work after eating."

For the next two hours, the monkey just talked about strange things, simply put, it was pure nonsense, which made the policeman's sister drowsy but didn't dare to sleep at all.

"It's okay, you can sleep if you want." The monkey stood at the window very considerately, holding the coffee that Ye Fei had just brewed and looking out of the window coolly: "I'm guarding you." ”

"Who wants you to keep it!" Ye Fei strengthened his spirit, and looked at the monkey's two furry thighs with resentment: "Reach over!" I'm going to handcuff you and send you to a mental hospital as soon as it's dawn. ”

The monkey shook his head: "Do you know why I'm here?" ”

"I don't know, and I don't want to know." Ye Fei's face was full of indifference: "I only know that you are going to be unlucky." ”

"It's not clear if I'm unlucky or not, but in five minutes, you're going to be unlucky."

While he was talking, there was a sudden knock on the door outside, Ye Fei didn't care about talking nonsense with the monkey, the handcuffs were neatly put on the monkey's arm and tied him to the iron shelf in the room before leaving the house.

The monkey glanced down at the handcuffs and muttered to himself, "How long do you think I'll be able to open this." ”

"You haven't forgotten what we're doing, have you? You must have wanted to hook up when you saw that policeman pretty, you men are all a dead look. ”

"Xiaohong, this is your mistake, do you know what is the most important thing right now? The most important thing is that no one can take us to find someone, you alone are not enough, not enough. ”

"So that's why you seduce the little girl? The baby is unhappy. ”

"Download less useless things, look at you, what has become of an artificial intelligence, learn less things on the Internet, and there is no good one."

"I'm happy for me to be happy, you don't care, beep me to blow your head again."

In addition to his bare buttocks, another important reason why the monkey came to report this time was that he needed a skilled worker to help him find the "Cheng Jiangang" who couldn't be found.

The choice of this character is very particular, first of all, you need to be familiar with the city, and the best person who can do this is the small policeman. But choosing a police officer is also a very troublesome matter, because if you meet a police uncle who is skilled in handling business, he will definitely go straight to the lunch, and the novice will refuse his request because of his own vigilance mechanism.

The reason why he chose this stupid little policewoman was not only because he saw that she was inexperienced, but more importantly, she was a girl. This kind of thing is very good at flirting with girls, after all, Xiaohong gave the strategy from the Internet......

Of course, there needs to be an opportunity here, this kind of honest and honest girl is definitely not as flirtatious as those girls in nightclubs, this opportunity needs luck and waiting.

The monkey was probably lucky, and it didn't take long for the opportunity he needed to appear in front of his eyes, which is his special ability. If you can predict a sudden event that will occur in the next 30 minutes, you must be able to predict other people who have direct contact with you. And now this small suburban police station, except for him, there is only this little stupid little policeman left.

Sure enough, when he and Xiaohong had a ride in the house, they didn't spray each other, and they heard the sound of quarrels outside, because the place is not big and the environment is quite simple, so the sound of the dispute is quite clear, and it is just a little young emotional dispute when he turns around.

"Xiaohong, what do you think I use to be more handsome?"

"It's more handsome for you to find a knife to slash yourself and hit the wall, and it will definitely deter the other party."

"Do you have such an assistant? Believe it or not, I won't let you do it! ”

"I'll blow your head!"

When they were discussing how to use to play the old stalk of heroes saving beauty, the argument outside had turned into pushing, mixed with the little policeman's scolding, saying that I would call the police if you broke up and do this again.

The monkey was not in a hurry, he slowly opened the handcuffs with the nails on the shelf, and then sat down at the table and flipped through the transcript, but there was not a word written on it. But it's also ...... If a transcript with "Name: Tom Cruise, Origin: Earth Federation, Crime: Bare-ass Police" appears, I'm afraid this job will not be kept.

Just then, there was a commotion outside, and then everything fell silent. At this time, the monkey slowly stood up from his position, wearing a women's police uniform on the upper body, and the lower half of his body was bare, and he swayed open the door and walked out.

Walking through two doors, it was already a mess outside, things on the table were scattered everywhere, hot water bottles were smashed on the floor, and random and steaming water was spilled everywhere.

In the rest room inside, the voice of a man talking to himself kept coming. With a satisfied smile on his face, the monkey pulled out a cigarette from the ashtray on the other table, put it in his mouth, picked up a lighter, lit it, and cautiously leaned in......

"You resign yourself to your fate today, your colleagues have been spent. Don't look at me like that, I said you couldn't escape the palm of my hand. If I don't do it for you today, I won't have a place to put my face. ”

"Haha, breaking the law? This is a family dispute at most, you are just a little intern, what are you going to sue me? ”

Listening to the monkey outside, he was not excited or angry at all, but Comrade Xiaohong, the artificial intelligence, was actually in the air, constantly urging the monkey to hurry in, don't let the little girl be ruined.

"You're stupid, you can't take advantage of it if you go in now." The monkey muttered in a low voice: "If you have a advantage, you will suffer a loss, when have you seen me suffer a loss?" ”

"You're still not a man! Are you bloody? I'm ashamed of you, shame on me! Xiaohong's angry voice exploded in the monkey's ears, and at the end of the sentence, he added: "Scumbag." ”

Although he was scolded as a scumbag by his first teammate, this guy didn't move, and he listened silently until a series of fabric tearing sounds and a woman's muffled shouts sounded, and the monkey's eyes lit up.

The door to the lounge was locked, but that wasn't a problem for a man like Monkey, who called himself an all-around survival master, and in his words a single celery would do the trick with a lock of this level.

In less than two seconds, the anti-theft lock opened, and the monkey pushed the door in, and the scenery inside was a little bit, the stupid little policeman was already pressed on the table, his hands were tied with belts, and his mouth was strangled with a towel, looking like the shooting scene of a Japanese action movie.

The person who pressed her was obviously in the stage of preparing to attack, his pants were down at the knees, and his waist was also pushing forward, maybe the monkey was a second or two late, I am afraid the scene would have to be a little more exciting.

His sudden arrival really shocked the people in the house, but the little policewoman was surprised, and the people behind him were frightened.

Of course, let alone someone who is in such a highly excited situation, even an ordinary person would be frightened to see such a nondescript guy wearing a police uniform and showing hairy legs, not to mention that he has a slightly more scar on his body......

"Go on."

The monkey looked at him and smiled, then moved a stool and sat on the side, lowered his head and glanced twice: "Brother, the guy is not small." ”

According to normal reasoning...... Yes, in this case, the one who can still do things is worthy of being a man. It's a pity that that guy can't afford this man's title, he put on his pants in a panic, squinted at the monkey, and said coldly: "Get out." ”

The monkey smashed his mouth a few times, and he didn't bother to speak, so he simply cocked his legs, although his eyes were still smuggling at the little policeman's shining cheeks in the light, but his smile was full of banter.

"I'll let you out!"

"Brother, I'll give you a piece of advice."

"I'll let you out!!" After the man lifted his pants, he had already picked up the baton thrown next to him, and pointed at the monkey: "Believe it or not, I will kill you!" ”

"I'll give you a piece of advice." The monkey did not mean to move at all: "All violence that is not pretended to be forceful is meaningless." ”

It seems that the kid is also a brave and ruthless person, and the baton in his hand is raised without saying a word, and he splits it according to his head. Although this kind of rubber baton is difficult to kill, because of its heavy weight and outrageous elasticity, if it is directly stuffed on the head, it can also take people away in waves.

This kind of guy who wants to kill people when he gets started, either he is really fearless, or he is big-minded. This kid doesn't seem to have a big chest, and the eight achievements are really fearless.

Of course, it is not excluded that the innate IQ is relatively low, and the monkey has seen so many strange behaviors of Uncle Hei, and he always thinks that it is possible for people in this world to do anything outrageous and incomprehensible.

"There's a dollar on the ground." The monkey bent down and picked up a steel hammer on the ground, but just staggered one of the sticks: "Good luck today!" ”

", neurosis. Go to hell. The baton struck again, and the kid was obviously out of his mind in a rage: "I'm going to kill you!" ”

"You know I'm insane."

But the next moment, he found that the monkey was already standing at his side, holding a plum blossom cone in his hand that he had gotten out of nowhere, and stabbed it down on his thigh.

The blow was a blow to the end, piercing his thigh, and that wasn't the end, the monkey pulled out the cone and quickly flashed back, stabbing it in the palm of his hand.

The twenty-centimeter taper completely irritated the arm, leaving only a plastic handle on the palm of the hand, which hurt to look at......

"Oops...... I got goosebumps. The monkey took a few steps back and rubbed his arm vigorously: "It hurts to look at it." ”

Poked twice by this, the pain was almost painful, how could he care about going up to the girl, seeing that the monkey was no longer in his way, he howled and rushed out of the room, and disappeared into the darkness.

After he left, the monkey stood behind the little policeman and patted her snow-white buttocks: "Look at it, I'm not actually a person from the future, I'm a psychopath." ”

After the monkey finished speaking, she untied the leash from the little policeman's hand, and the first thing she did was to quickly lift her pants, and then looked at the monkey with tears in her eyes.

"Are you not satisfied that I disturbed your good deeds? I can't see it, the little girl's taste is very special. ”

Ye Fei had obvious slap marks on her face, the pear blossoms were very pitiful with the rain, she squatted on the ground with her arms on her upper body, and did not move.

The monkey took off his police uniform and threw it at her: "You don't have to cry if you're not so cool." ”

"I'm going to call the police." Ye Fei raised his head to look at the monkey in a hoarse voice, and the meaning of supplication in his eyes was obvious.

"You're in the wrong head, huh? You forgot how I got in? ”

When the monkey said this, Ye Fei, who was frightened, reacted, this guy came in with a bare ass...... Not to mention the phone, not even a pair of shoes.

"That'...... So what to do? ”

"I don't know what you're going to do, but I know I don't know what to do if I don't run again."

As soon as he reminded him, Ye Fei noticed the situation around him, the entire police station was in a mess, and his clothes were torn into pieces, plus this man who was only wearing a pair of blue pants, if he was seen by his colleagues, he might be able to kill him on the spot.

Now that the sky is already dark, and the guy who ran out just now will definitely go to call someone back, Ye Fei knows the identity of that person, he is a somewhat famous son here, there are officials and businessmen in the family, and he can't afford to provoke this little intern at all. And the person who injured him didn't have any identification, so he would really be killed.

While she was stunned, the monkey was crouching under the table and starting a fire with a stack of A4 paper, the flames had already burned two desks, and the fire was getting bigger and bigger.

This time, Ye Fei couldn't care about his state, and rushed over to put out the fire, but was stopped by the monkey: "Don't toss, I promise you'll be fine." ”

Soon, the flames engulfed the small police station, but Ye Fei sat trembling outside the fire, next to a man in only pants who was pacing back and forth.

There were police uncles and firefighter uncles all around, and a few female policemen kept comforting Ye Fei, and of course they also looked at the weirdo next to her with strange eyes.

"Xiaofei, go back and rest for a few days."

After watching the monitoring, the director walked over to Ye Fei with a pale face and said in a deep voice, and then looked at the monkey next to him: "Who is this?" ”

"I was her first love." The monkey touched his head: "I drank too much at night, and fell asleep on the side of the road, and after I woke up, I became like this, so I came to her for help." ”

It would be strange if the director believed this kind of reason, but for the sake of Ye Fei's just nodding and not expressing anything, he had nothing to say.

The monitoring is actually very clear, although what happened here can't be seen completely, but it can be very clear with a casual brain fillup, and he also knows that person, and the gentleman also calls him an uncle according to his generation, this is not a big deal, after all, the matter between children is so big, but now the fire prevention police station almost burned the police.

"Your name is Ye Fei." The monkey smoked the cigarette issued by the director and squatted beside Ye Fei: "The name is very good, how much is the night?" ”

Ye Fei glanced at the monkey sideways, silently, his eyes were wooden, he seemed to be frightened, and he didn't have time to pay attention to the monkey's tasteless ridicule.

At this time, the policewoman next to him came over and handed the monkey a winter coat to cover his hairy legs, and then whispered: "You should go back quickly, don't mix this matter." ”

The monkey whistled and turned his head to leave, but Ye Fei suddenly reached out and grabbed the corner of his clothes, raised his head and said to him, "Go to my house, I'm a little scared." ”

"Okay, you have to give me something to eat, I'm hungry."

The monkey doesn't know what politeness is, but he just wants to eat it. Ye Fei didn't speak, she still lowered her head and posed dead, but looking at her expression, she didn't resist the monkey's request.

The kind-hearted colleague sent Ye Fei and the monkey back together, and the people who sent them complained when they were in the car, because looking at the meaning of the director, this matter is going to be suppressed, and such a big thing is suppressed, to put it bluntly, it is actually because Ye Fei's ex-boyfriend's family is quite powerful, otherwise it would not be so blatant.

And the monkey also saw that the director had a private chat with Ye Fei just now, and after chatting, the girl who was almost raped and didn't break down collapsed directly. I can probably think of what they said, it was nothing more than asking Ye Fei to keep quiet, and maybe they also made a promise to turn her into a regular directly.

This is the same as the girl in the college who is raped and goes directly to the research institute, after all, many universities have a gloomy road to the research institute, and many girls often take a walk on it with a fluke mentality.

Although this is not a bad thing for Ye Fei, at least it is not a bad thing in the monkey's opinion, not to mention that this is an attempted rape, even if it really makes that guy successful, the tolerance for sex is so high these years, which girl does not have a few ex-boyfriends, it does not affect marriage at all, and Ye Fei will not lose money.

But as for why she collapsed so much, the monkey estimated that she was scared, after all, being so rough is not a good style, I really like this mouthful, and I can slowly open the door to a new world when I get it.

Ye Fei's home is not big, it is a very ordinary two-bedroom and a living room, and both bedrooms are occupied, and they are typically girls' styles, Ye Fei's clean and concise, like a small jasper, and the other one is a terrible pink style, like a sassy little princess......

"Sit down and I'll cook for you."

She looked a little tired, but she still took the ingredients out of the refrigerator and walked into the kitchen, and began to wash and cook rice skillfully, like an experienced housewife.

Soon, a simple meal was served on the table, the monkey was wearing a vacuum suit to eat and drink, and Ye Fei went directly into the house to change a set of clothes and came out.

"You're so relieved." The monkey's mouth was stuffed with food: "If I am full and I force you, you will cry." ”

"Then you should have done it last night." Ye Fei sat on the sofa with a glass of warm water, her eyes were stunned: "How did you untie the handcuffs?" ”

The monkey shook his fingers: "You forgot?" I'm coming back from the future. ”

Ye Fei, who had been with a bitter face, smiled at this moment: "Thank you for saving me." ”

"Actually, I didn't mean to save you, I plan to ask you for help."

"Huh? I? How can I help you. ”

"Find someone for me." The monkey ate the rice in the bowl in two bites, and wiped his mouth vigorously: "One is called ......"

Just as he was about to speak, the door was suddenly pushed open, and a man dressed in ...... walked in The woman with ill-fitting clothes walked in, and the first thing she saw was Ye Fei, and she spread out her hand: "Yezi, get me something to eat." ”

And the second time, she saw a monkey, and then ...... Both of them were stunned.

"! It's you! ”

"Fuck you, uncle, it's Lao Tzu! Take off your clothes for Lao Tzu! ”