I can guess what the nature of the Raven Knight is, but I can't prove it, and if it's a part of myself that Takakawa doesn't know, then I can't really understand it at this time. However, even though it is a part of Takakawa, it must also have some deep connection with me, and this connection may be due to various reasons, such as the mapping of this apocalyptic illusion, such as the means of alienating Youjiang, such as the deterioration of the pathology caused by the "virus", etc., so that it becomes like isolation, and becomes an existence that looks completely different from me, but I believe that the bridge between us must not be completely severed. Even if Gao Chuan's body in reality in the hospital at this time has completely collapsed into LCL.

Physical collapse, existential differences, split personality, insanity and other reasons have made "Gao Chuan" many, however, if the existence of the will has its reason, and Gao Chuan has never given up that original intention in despair from the past to the present, then this belief, this ideal, this will, this power bursting out of despair and pain, must also exist in it, and he and I must have supported the bridge that seemed to be crumbling.

What I want to believe is not only myself, but also other Takakawa, not only the prosthetic Takakawa in London, but also Carmen who has become the agent of Doom, and the electronic demon Night Raven Quark cut off by my mystery, and even the Raven Knight in front of me who is formed by the fusion of Night Raven Quark and Carmen.

I firmly believe that whether I am human or not, there is such a soul that belongs to Gao Chuan, there is such a spirit that exists in the depths of our soul, and if we will eventually become one, then this soul, this spirit is the hub that unites us.

I don't think about who is the priority. Without thinking about who and whose plans, all the factors that make the difference between me, him, and it are discarded when I put my finger in my eye socket. The pain ran up my nerves, leaving my brain blank.

The left eye is twitching, as if it is the excitement of "Jiang". That soft, elastic and smooth touch. When my fingertips touch my eyeballs, it's like I'm touching something alive, not anymore. I lost my vision in my left eye, like a curtain falling, and at one point my vision was broken, and only half of it remained. However, the lost half holds my will, my wish. My heart, my pain and paleness.

I only felt like I was falling into the abyss, and the next moment it was as if I was being pushed up by a force, and the more I rose, the more painful it became. I saw the hallucination, but I couldn't think about what it looked like. There was a sometimes heavy, sometimes shrill voice in my ears. It's like a sharp fingernail cutting across the cerebral cord.

I felt the optic nerve disintegrate, as if I heard the sound of a disintegration.

In the midst of all this pain and suffering. Time seemed to have stopped, and the Raven Knight maintained a counterattacking posture in front of him. It occurred to me that all this was not because my speedstorm had completely surpassed it, but simply because my will was transmitting in this world of consciousness.

At this moment, it was as if nothing had changed except me. But it's actually changing.

Because we were in a complex and large pattern, and I felt that the pattern was changing violently in an area that could not be directly observed, as it was transmitted through my pain and nerves. Is this a delusion, or is it true? I don't care anymore. Whatever the pattern implies, I don't think about it anymore.

All thoughts and emotions are condensed at this moment: I want to dig out this left eye and use the power of "Jiang" to pass on my thoughts, emotions and wills in this life, as well as the recognition and pride of the identity of "Gao Chuan", to the crow rider in front of me. I and it, going to use this left eye as a bridge, eventually become one.

We are all "Gao Chuan", as long as we have this one in common, it is enough.

In the reality of the hospital, I can entrust everything I have to the next Takakawa before the temporary time, and I can also pass on this will to the new Takakawa here. Perhaps, that's no longer me, but it's enough as long as it's "Takakawa".

Takakawa may not be just me, but I am Takakawa!

My body trembled, but I couldn't tell if it was because of the pain or because the memory was too deep. The more my fingers pulled inward, digging out my left eyeball bit by bit, the nerve-tugging pain and horror seemed to put me in that night again. It was as if I had hallucinated that Mae was right next to me, caressing my face, staring into my eyes, and speaking to me words that I couldn't hear.

I screamed and plucked my left eye off. It beats in my hands, and even if it leaves my body, it seems to be a living creature that can exist on its own and have an independent consciousness. The moist and lively touch, as if "Jiang" had been watching me, rolled in the palm of my hand, and the pupils were aimed at me, so that I could see my own blood-dripping face in the deep black eyes.

The next moment, the pitch-black Raven Knight gave me a hammer, and I held my breath in dizziness, and when it raised its head, it pressed the left eye against the mask-like face, the position of the left eye. Suddenly, more blood spurted out of my hollow left eye and spilled it all over my face, and the amount of blood made me think that all the blood in my body had been sprayed clean in one fell swoop.

The left eye seemed to have soil to grow, and the dangling broken nerve was like a tentacle, burrowing little by little under the hard mask.

The Raven Knight, who had never reacted at all, seemed to have a feeling of "pain", as if he had tasted pain for the first time and reacted more violently. It hugged its face and staggered back, as if to pluck off the left eye, but when its hand touched the left eye, the posture of the arm became strange, like a puppet arm with a broken thread, and suddenly drooped down.

I pressed my hollow left eye, but I couldn't stop the blood gushing. I fell in a pool of blood with a long knife piercing my chest. The touch of this blood is so familiar and nostalgic, thick as asphalt. I pulled out my long knife with all my might, threw it aside, and spread it out in large letters. Lying in this thick pool of blood. These few small movements seem to consume all your strength, and you don't want to say half a sentence again.

The body of the Raven Knight in front of him was distorted, as if to hint at the distortion in its heart, and all its movements and postures were originally covered by the hard and cold armor. It was like an unintentional killing machine, but at this moment, this distortion made me understand that it was indeed intentional. Because we have our own hearts, when the hearts of others enter, there will be interference, and they will become distorted.

The difference between me and it is greater than the difference between me and the prosthetic Gao Chuan in the current apocalyptic illusion. So this distortion will naturally become more obvious. There was no other external force, and the Pitch Crow Knight's arm was broken, followed by his foot as if it had been twisted several times. It fell to the ground, its neck and body twisted, and the mask began to crack, as if its eyeballs were about to penetrate into its face, and beneath the cracked mask. What does that face look like? I can't see it, and I can't observe it with chain decisions. Beneath the cracks of the mask, there was only a bottomless darkness, as if the only real organ was the eyeball that kept burrowing in.

The more this left eye was embedded downwards, the redder it became, when I couldn't even see the sphere. There was only one red light left. And the pitch-black Raven Knight stared at me in this twisted, smashed posture, with his head bent into a position impossible for a human being.

I don't know what it would have thought if it had a heart. Exclusion, perhaps. Maybe it's anger, will you think about something as boring as "I don't want to be you"? Will you deny that you are part of "Takakawa" and insist that you are just yourself? There's always these philosophical reflections in the story, and maybe it thinks, but I don't think anymore.

I just sat quietly, as if all my energy and life were drained little by little with the thick blood flowing from the hollow eye sockets. I lay in a pool of blood, the thick blood piling up to my waist before it could flow outward. I gradually lost the strength of my lower body, as if my feet had been dissolved by this thick pool of blood. I lay back, my chest drenched in a pool of blood, but there was no fear in my heart.

I felt more calm than I had ever been, as if I was drowning in a warm and faint smell of the embrace, and I only felt that perhaps the end of this indulgence was my own death.

I'm not sure if I made the right choice or did it, and I don't know if anyone has observed the changes here, but I don't have any regrets regardless of the outcome. In the extreme encounters and the ultimate search, I did not find any answers, but this encounter, the search and the choice are like the answer itself. I've done my best, and I don't feel like I could do better if I could do it all over again. I deeply feel that there is never a real sense of right or wrong in the problems I have always faced, and there is never a difference between good and bad in my choices.

"It's just...... It's just a choice. "I was talking to myself, and I felt like I was talking to someone. To whom, maybe "Jiang"? Is it Zhenjiang, Tomoe, Zuojiang? Is it any form under the "river"? Or is it a "virus", Sakiya, Eight Scenes, Marceau, Tieshi, and Dorothy?

In the end, I still felt stupid, dead and alive, going through so many things, thinking about it for so long, but in the end I still couldn't figure it all out. However, I feel like I can face it all in stride. Whether I think or not, it doesn't matter anymore, the important thing is that I really pushed myself, resisted those psychological and physical contradictions and suffering, and did what I wanted to do, without slacking off for a moment.

I lay in a pool of blood, gradually drowning in the thick of blood, and before my vision was completely covered, the chain judgment first lost the sight of observation, and then the complex and magnificent magic array that surrounded us, as if it bloomed wider and became incomparably dazzling. I heard the rattling of the stream, like a stream rising, over the stone face, flowing in all directions, and I heard a movement in the distance, as if it was struggling, but it quickly died down. I heard the roar of the flood, the crash of the rushing stream, the rotation of the gears, the murmuring of so many people, and I felt that all these were just the illusions of the real changes in information that flowed into the brain, but could not be understood, and could only be expressed in a visual way.

Something must be going on.

But I don't think about it, I don't guess.

I only know that if I can still observe, it must only observe the surface, and the essence exists in my heart, which cannot be explained.

I had lost any sensation from the neck down, and then from the order of the mouth, nose, ears, and eyes, I lost the perception of my five senses, and while surrounded by this warmth, there was a voice, from the bottom of my heart:

"I ...... Will die again......"

The next moment, darkness enveloped me.

The next moment, as if only half awakened. I suddenly felt that I was in a trance, and when this thought came to me, I felt that I was much more awake. When I felt my body, when I felt domination over my body, I subconsciously opened my eyes. Then, what did come into view made me suddenly realize that I was not dead.

To be exact, the feeling of death is so real, but it is like the moment you cross the death line, only to find that the other side of the death line is not hell, but life.

I couldn't believe it, but there were no more thoughts in my head, or rather, an emotion that filled my body and left me no time to think about anything else. I raised my head, lowered my head, raised my hand, and touched my left eye, both in what I saw and what I touched, gave me an incomparably real answer: I am not dead, and my left eye is still intact.

But something is different. I can't tell what was different, but when the memory fell on the pitch-black Raven Knight, it suddenly became clear that the armor covering his arm was different from the original impression in many details. There are no mirrors here, so I can't see my whole body, but from the parts I can see, I can clearly feel a complex and gorgeous charm, which is completely different from the original simple armor texture.

Myself...... Did you merge with the pitch-black Raven Knight? When this doubt arises, there is another question, when I think at this time, is it my past self who is thinking, or is the dark Raven Knight thinking? As soon as this question arises, there is an answer: it's just "me" thinking.

I'm still me, but I'm not who I used to be, and I'm not the dark Raven Knight.

I'm still Takakawa, and that's all. (To be continued......)