I suspect that this hut is a world of consciousness, but why did I see Dr. Nguyen Le here? In Dr. Ruan Li's eyes, the world is always unchanging, a state of matter that can be logically observed and analyzed, and for her, it is natural to believe in her own perception of the world.

Did Dr. Nguyen Li, whom I spoke to before, be in a state that was the most real to her, but only a conscious existence to me?

What I lacked was a firm perspective of observation like hers, and after encountering the "mystery", even though the materialist science education of the past occupied the vast majority of thoughts, I would still wonder about the truths that I took for granted when many incomprehensible situations arose.

In my eyes, the world is always changing, and it is always intersecting. The interweaving of consciousness and matter, the stacking of the upper world and the lower world, while using materialism to explain idealism, is also using idealism to look at materialism. I have never had a fixed idea from an observational perspective or a theory of thought, which is the source of my thoughts that are always full of contradictions.

Dr. Nguyen Lê's attitude in front of me was always calm, both in the hospital reality and in this repeater world. Of course, it is not that the two are exactly the same, the differences are still there, but the thought hidden under the calm always makes me smell familiar. In the face of Dr. Nguyen Li, who is persistent in his ideas, I have always felt that I am weak. Perhaps I now insist on my own view of "Jiang" and insist on carrying out my plan, and the idea of "wanting to be like Dr. Nguyen Li" is also a root cause.

Then again, no matter what I think of Dr. Ruan Li, no matter what the world between the two of us is, it is an indisputable fact that I was put on the table by her, and it is also a problem that needs to be solved urgently.

There was no doorway to the house, only a window that could not be opened. This is already very strange, and if I use Dr. Nguyen Li's statement that the doors and windows are not non-existent, but that I am in a hallucination and cannot see, then I probably can't solve it. However, looking at the strangeness of this hut through the eyes of the world of consciousness. It will feel that this is a very normal thing, and it makes people feel that there is a solution to the problem.

Confidence, self-confidence, thinking that you can solve it, thinking that this is in the area that you spend all the time with - that's what I've always been living by. No matter how grim the facts are, I don't think I could have gotten this far without such belief.

"Anyway, calm down and think about it." I said to myself. Thinking always makes me feel stupid. However, it is impossible to observe the things around oneself as a state of consciousness, to be convinced that they are a state of consciousness, and then to complete the walk of consciousness, without thinking deeply enough. It is not to hypnotize oneself to believe that the world is conscious, but to allow oneself to complete the argument that "the world is conscious" through thinking—whether the process and method of argumentation are correct. It doesn't matter if it really makes sense or not. The important thing is that in this process of thinking, you can honestly agree with your own perspective on the world and the conclusions you have drawn from this perspective.

How did you do it in the past? I can't help but recall. It's not the first time I've been in a situation where I have to use the power of conscious walking to get out. It's just that the power of consciousness walking is so unstable, no. It would be more accurate to describe it as this new power from the "river" as an extremely inert force for me personally, and the conditions required to activate it. So far, I haven't been able to grasp it all.

So, let's take a closer look at this room. Look for every part of it that makes you feel weird, find out all the unexplained phenomena, connect them, first form a rough outline, and start from this outline to complete the details, until you are convinced that this is not a simple material hut.

Suddenly, the quark standing on my shoulder screamed a few times, and I looked in the direction it was staring, and suddenly I realized that there was a pack of cigarettes on the coffee table not far away, and I was pretty sure that I had checked it before, and the coffee table was empty. I quickly stood up and stepped forward to hold the cigarette in my hand, a very real sense of texture and weight. As soon as I looked away, I noticed that there was a black-covered journal on the coffee table—it didn't exist before this glance, but suddenly appeared there between the movements of the gaze.

I subconsciously touched my body, only to realize that the last time I woke up, I was wearing a patient gown, and this time I woke up defenseless. I didn't feel the cold, and when I thought of "cold", the fireplace in the corner of the side burst into flames, crackling and splashing sparks. The glass of the window could not reflect Dr. Nguyen Lê, and the mirror in the room could not reflect me. She and I are like being divided into two worlds, and it is only in this room, at that moment, that we intersect together?

However, if I put it in the mouth of Dr. Ruan Li, these weirdness I encountered are actually only weird that I think is weird. These things that suddenly appeared were here, but I subconsciously ignored their existence. She might say that it's not that they're weird, it's just that they "just came into my eyes" and not "suddenly appeared in this place". Whether I can't see her reflection from the glass window, or I can't see myself in the mirror, it's just because of my sickness that I can only see one-sided illusions, but not the full truth.

Actually, it doesn't matter which one it is, what I care about is that when I can "see" them, whether they are hallucinations or really exist here all along, "their appearance" and "they appear in the here and now" must be meaningful.

Yes, my distinction between the material world and the conscious world is, first of all, whether "existence" itself is more important, or "the meaning of existence" is more important.

If meaning is more important, then I have always believed that it is important to show this meaning in a way that can be directly observed, to give it a concrete image and movement, no matter how bizarre that image and movement may be. One meaning after another is connected together, not in a material structure, which is the basis of a world of consciousness.

Just like in front of me, quark is a crow, but what is important is not the bird "crow", but the symbolism of the concept of "crow". and the figurative meaning it occupies in my thoughts.

A diary is not a notebook of events, but of how important its content is in relation to my thoughts about myself and the world.

It's the same with cigarettes and lighters. When held in the hand, they are full of physical feeling, weight, feel. Even if you observe it at the atomic level, I'm afraid it's real, and it's in line with the scientific truth you know. However, it is necessary to abandon the recognition of its reality and concreteness from this point of view, and not to regard it as a matter of established outlines.

It's the meaning that matters. Science holds that non-existence is meaningless, and existence itself is meaning. However, for conscious walking. The priority of meaning should be above the concept of "being", and even "non-existence" itself is meaningful.

Even if you don't know what that meaning is, you have to think that it makes sense in the first place.

I grabbed my diary, cigarettes, and lighter, and moved my chair to the windowsill and sat down. From this direction, you can look directly at the front of the mirror, or you can turn your head to look out at the scenery outside, although it is still pitch black outside, and you can't even hear the sound of a thunderstorm. It was as if the whole world had been destroyed, and only the hut I was in was left with.

in the house. It's warm and lonely.

I lit my cigarette and flipped through my diary, a feeling of naturalness that kept my eyes on the last few pages with the words.

It is noted that this is a story that takes place in the "hospital reality".

I don't remember myself going through this episode, but judging by the handwriting. Indeed, my record. I've always had a habit of writing down my adventures in a novel, and I've been in the habit of writing about it on a whim since I first met Tomie. Sometimes, I don't really remember exactly what I wrote when. Sometimes, I'm amazed at how much time and energy I have to keep these stories going on.

Where my memory is clear, what I write is much less than what is already in my diary. However, when I saw those unimpressive records, I couldn't deny from the bottom of my heart that it was my masterpiece.

I also read these stories from time to time, and there are many plots that seem to have been written from my imagination as if I had not experienced them myself—but surprisingly, when I asked others afterwards, there were many clues that showed that I had no record of my own impression, and that what seemed to be my own imagination was not much different from what had happened, and the difference was more in some places of novelistic artistic processing.

*

This is the story that happened in the real life of the hospital.

It was about three o'clock in the middle of the night, and Dr. Nguyen Li suddenly had a high fever and woke up from his dream in a daze. She wasn't sure what she had dreamed about, but it felt like she had gone through a bizarre, dangerous, and inextricable journey, full of the strange and unexpected of dreams. When she opened her eyes, she was already covered in sweat, but the dizziness caused by the high fever seemed to be much better. However, when she reached for the cup on the bedside table, she noticed that her hands were trembling—a stirring emotion that seemed to have been bred from a dream, deeply rooted in her heart, and welled up in her mind when she was not aware of it, but Dr. Nguyen Li could not remember what she was doing with it.

I guess it's a dream scene. But what exactly is that like?

Dr. Nguyen Li rubbed his temples, put on his coat, and got up and walked into the laboratory. Her resting place was in a small space specially spaced out in the laboratory, and she hadn't left the lab for three days after she had been buried in the discoveries of her last experiment. No one bothered her, it was her independent experiment, it was the permission she had been given, and although she still needed to communicate with other researchers, it could be done just by using the Internet. Both Dr. Ander's team, which is the hospital's official representative, and the underground, unorthodox lurker organization, hope that she will be able to produce results in a short period of time - a large part of which is the legacy of Dr. Nguyen Li's recently deceased mentor. What she needs to do is to re-examine and complete the things she conceived on the basis of what her predecessors have left behind.

Of course, Dr. Nguyen Le also has his own things to do, and he also tries to take the experiment in his own direction. However, it is good to know this kind of thing. Such an environment where no one comes to disturb and only inquires about progress is the best research treatment Dr. Ruan Li has received since joining the hospital.

Even so, the pressure is still there, and it's getting more and more alarming. This pressure does not stem from criticism after failing to produce results, but from the shadow of death that can be felt by anyone with a discerning eye - the operation of the hospital has begun to become abnormal, more people are sick, people are making noise, and the operation of the department is a little difficult. Everyone who stayed in this isolated island hospital knew where the source of the disease, which was slowly activated and unconsciously expanded, came from, and what kind of opponent and what kind of death they were facing.

It's called a "virus."

A being that cannot be directly observed, but can be deduced from theoretical data. So far, no one knows the details of its operation, and it is certainly impossible to find a way to suspend its operation. The activity of the "virus" is directly reflected in the expansion of infections in hospitals. Every infected person exhibits a series of symptoms called "doomsday syndrome". For patients, the onset of the disease is not only physical pain, but also mental confusion and fear.

Patients with doomsday syndrome have been studied in hospitals for a long time, and every researcher is well aware of the horror of the epidemic, and in the recent data collected on the world's total population, the "virus" infection is still expanding. This is a direct reason why hospitals are getting more investment, but also more pressure.

Even so, research could not have been accelerated. The outbreak in the hospital is expanding at an unusually fast pace, and Dr. Nguyen Le knows full well that the infected researchers are not just themselves. This has happened in the past, and in fact, clinical trials against specific viruses would have risked their lives. It's just that the more you learn about the "virus" you're studying, the more terrifying you become, and it's as cruel to the people in this hospital as the plague that destroyed almost all European countries in the Middle Ages. (To be continued.) )