John Bull and Zuo Jiang's visit was a pleasant surprise, but it also raised questions about how they determined my whereabouts, and why it wasn't too early or late, when I had just returned home and found that the Demon Summoner disk had been stolen. In this world of repeaters, whether I was looking for them before or they were looking for me, there should be no difference in the difficulty of zài. This kind of coincidence makes me can't believe that John Bull and Zuo Jiang really only rely on their own ability to come to the door, maybe they know something, maybe they really don't know, but someone is behind the scenes to guide. However, I am more optimistic about the former speculation, John Bull is a senior mystery expert, and although Zuo Jiang has been "mysterious" for a short time, he is also a mercenary who has been on the battlefield for many years, and both of them have enough sensitivity and analytical ability.

I never worried that it would be an unpleasant meeting, and even if John Bull knew that my relationship with the army had deteriorated, he would not have said anything excessive. She acts in a very obvious cyberball style, and when everyone has the same goal, she will not completely destroy the relationship between the two parties because of the slightest disagreement in the choice of action. As for Zuo Jiang, even if I know that Zuo Jiang is Dorothy's pawn, I don't think she will become an enemy, because, like Jiang Chuan, Zuo Jiang is not a dead thing with "nothing in the past", even if it was born with all kinds of insiders, the things it encountered in its growth, the ideas it generated, and the personality it shaped are all independent and real. Dorothy may be able to lead or force them to become "traps" through guò "mystery", but I prefer to believe that this is not their own will.

If there is any flaw in the operation of the Victorian Heavy Industries Materialization District of the Ruling Bureau, it is probably that I was not able to determine the whereabouts of Egawa in the end, which I saw at that time. Whether it's true or not, there is no answer after she disappears like a phantom. The phantom river led me to Dorothy, but that wasn't a reason for me to resent her, and I never blamed her or Dorothy from the beginning. Whatever they did.

The disappearance of Egawa makes me feel melancholy, but I can't stop it from beginning to end, and I hope that Zuochuan will not follow Egawa's fate. The people who are staring at her now may not be the only one Dorothy, if John Bull and Zuo Chuan were guided by some people, it means that the two have already been watched.

My attitude towards Zuo Chuan is no different from the past, as if we have never been separated. Whether Zuo Chuan thought more or not, I feel that this is the best way to get along. And. I didn't see anything different from Zuo Chuan as usual. Zuo Chuan's personality and behavior characteristics are as good as ever, like a ninja who silently guards his master's side.

I, Tomie, John Bull, and Sagawa had a lively meal and drink to celebrate the reunion, and I really felt fortunate that I had seen too many mysterious experts die in this operation in the past, and I felt that John Bull was also genuinely glad that I was alive, on this premise. No matter what her purpose is this time, it doesn't really matter.

John Bull is still a little sideways to Tomie. Tomie and Zuo Jiang's personalities are very different, but in terms of "meeting new people", Tomie is more familiar, or rather, she is actually very familiar with John Bull. I don't even care about the attitude of other people who know me towards me, whether they are hostile or not, or what they think. I know Tomie as a person who "never cares about details because she is strong". In her past adventures, Tomie has never been defeated in the true sense of the word, and she has never been moved by the bad situation, making people feel as if she has always had the confidence that "no matter what the problem is, she can solve all the problems with absolute strength" without any reason.

It is precisely because of this extreme, never hesitant self-confidence, therefore, whether it is John Bull, Zuo Chuan, other people and non-people, coincidence or not, whether there is a behind-the-scenes conspiracy, she has an indifferent attitude, and she seems cheerful and familiar.

I'm actually very envious of Tomie. Because, I always emphasize that I am very strong, which in itself is a manifestation of my lack of confidence in myself, I know that deep in my heart, there are too many worries and hesitations, the "virus" is weird and powerful, and I have failed again and again in the apocalyptic illusion, and I know that I have failed again and again, no matter how I tell myself, there is still hope, and the feeling of despair is still entangled. In the face of the situation where everyone is helpless, all my thoughts and actions have been a kind of dying struggle, even if I force myself to be confident, I can't deny this clown-like situation against my will.

Tomie has almost all the qiē I yearn for, and if her gender becomes male, it is the type I once dreamed of becoming too myself. And this kind of Tomie can always win the favor of many women, and being John Bull is no exception, no matter what she thinks in her heart, but in terms of expression and action, she will soon no longer be entangled in the change from Zuojiang to Tomie.

Zuo Chuan has always been a bad word, and I couldn't help but ask about the time after she and us were separated. Only then did I know that Zuo Chuan considered coming to the Central Duchy to find my whereabouts at the first time. Although her mystery is also suppressed by this repeater world, her ability as an elite mercenary is enough to make her comfortable in the European and American worlds. The overall situation in this world is more peaceful than the outside world, and the biggest trouble Zuo Chuan encountered was only on the first night, when he was regarded as a soft persimmon by the ruffians and wanted to do something bad to her.

After settling into local life, it was not a problem to travel to Asia, but it was not easy to find a specific person in a foreign country with a large territory, and to try to avoid attracting attention, especially when she began to detect some unusual signs and subconsciously hid herself.

"I see some people." "Although they may seem like the inhabitants of this world, my gut tells me that they, like us, are intruders and mystical experts," she said. Afterwards. I secretly investigated and found that Father Edward was among them, and many of the NOG's member organizations also sent personnel independent of the Las Vegas Special Operations Force. ”

"You know it's them?" Father Edward made a big fuss in London and must have been blacklisted by NOG, and Zuo Jiang knew that he was not something to be surprised about. However, it is surprising that she can even recognize people from other member organizations of NOG. After all, Zuo Chuan has not been in contact with the mysterious circle for a long time, and the member organization of NOG should be extremely secretive to act alone without the Las Vegas special operations force, and the personnel sent by it should not have too obvious characteristics.

"The Mercenary Guild seems to have been prepared for a long time, and a part of the list has been handed over to those of us who participated in this operation, and many of the people on the list are now present in this repeater world." Zuo Chuan replied.

Afterwards. Sagawa lurked according to his instincts, that is, during the time when I came into contact with Carmen, because Carmen's mysterious hourglass caused a breach in the world's blockade of "mystery" and produced a continuous aftermath, Sagawa obtained the demon summoner disk.

"You used a demon summoner?" I couldn't help but confirm it again.

Zuo Chuan nodded: "If you don't use the demon summoning program, you can't use the mystery in this world at all." ”

"John Bull, what do you think of the demon summoner?" I turned to look at John Bull.

"Obviously, not a good thing. But we need it, don't we? John Bull's face was a little heavy. There are too few of us to do something in this world, and without mystical powers, we will be swallowed up by the social order of this world. Even if I don't care about being an ordinary person, it's still dangerous to be an ordinary person under the noses of the Nazis. Here is, after all, a repeater for the Nazis. We also have repeaters though. The Cult of Doomsday Shinrikyo is now also targeting the Nazis, but it is impossible for us to really cooperate with the Cult of Doomsday Shinriko, and the cooperation between NOG and Area 51 has not gone so far as to share repeaters, and the Nazis' two repeaters have no concerns about this. From the very beginning of the operation, the support of repeaters was not counted. We can only do it ourselves. I think Mr. Takakawa knows that too, right? ”

"I'm just checking again." I said calmly, "There is a big problem with the demon summoning procedure, but since I can't refuse, I won't mention it for the time being. I've been in a lot of trouble with the Rivets lately, and I ruined part of NOG's plan, and although it wasn't a plan failure in terms of results, it wasn't a good situation for me. If you're going to join up with the troops, you can go to Europe, I think they're supposed to be over there. ”

"What's going on?" John Bull was a little stunned.

I recounted what I had done since the toilet talk and what I was trying to do, because I was only outlining the cause and effect, so I had to try to be as vague as possible, but there was nothing to hide from what I did in the Victorian Heavy Industries Materialisation Zone, and the purpose of doing it. "Takakawa" was originally a citizen of the Central Principality, and it was not something to be guilty about expanding the local tendencies to the world of repeaters, even if this decision was actually taken to abort NOG's plan for a while, and it had a bad impact on the internal environment of the entire team. However, since the NOG has always been inclined to build a multinational force, it is natural that the impact of the differences in thinking caused by the different environments in which individuals grow up needs to be considered and carried.

John Bull is a member of Cyberball, and he understands these problems better, whether it is in the past or present, no matter in which apocalyptic fantasy, Cyberball, as a mysterious organization that aims to unite global forces, encounters this type of problem much more than other mysterious organizations, and its internal structure is also very international, and its cognition and means are more practical in dealing with such problems. That's one of the reasons why I'm not averse to cyberball, and I'm willing to explain the ins and outs of the matter to John Bull.

I don't know much about John Bull himself, but I don't know as much about cyberball as I do about cyberball in this world.

Sure enough, John Bull smiled wryly as expected and said, "I understand, leave it to me, these situations are also in the consideration of NOG when forming this team." It was an adventure in which we had to face more external problems than our own. It's just that I want to confirm, does Mr. Takakawa still plan to participate in the operation? Will it cooperate with the large army? ”

"Yes, even with all the ideological differences and conflicts between us, I also feel that this should not be what makes us stop. My idea is simple. I will deal with the problems in Asia, and the large forces will be responsible for the problems in other places, as is the case in the outside world. I said.

"I think so too." John Niu did not hesitate, simply nodded neatly, and said, "Then, if you need the support of a large army." I hope that Mr. Takakawa will put aside the issue of ideology and ask us for assistance. In this world of repeaters, we are the only companions we can trust each other. We have a lot of troubles to face, and we need to work together to get through them. I think rivets they think so too. ”

"Then please, John Bull." I knew that with John Bull doing the PR, the relationship between me and the big army would also be eased. John Bull is only a captain, but he comes from the netball. And the weight of the cyber ball in NOG is enough to be her backing. In contrast, the other whisperer I belong to, although he is also one of the permanent directors of the NOG, is a little different from the NOG, which is headquartered in London, Europe, in various factors, and although I am also Takakawa, I am different from the other Takakawa. The advantages he has will be weakened to the limit in my case.

I know. In the eyes of all those who know the name "Takakawa", I am far from being compared with the other self, and perhaps, they will speculate about my relationship with the other self, but the conclusions made by guessing will definitely be more biased towards the other self - after all. He's the one in this apocalyptic illusion, and I'm just an accident.

I don't have any negative thoughts about this difference in consciousness, and the difference between me and the other me is in the core ideas that determine the direction of action, but there is no difference in the nature of the will. So. He is Gao Chuan, and I am also Gao Chuan, and there is no situation where one of them has become something else.

"I didn't expect that after only a while of separation, there would already be so many problems with the plan." John Bull sighed, "Fortunately, this kind of trouble is still in the first expectation. ”

"It seems that Cyberball has been mentally prepared for a long time." I smiled, John Bull said that the expectation is naturally the expectation of the net ball, and then the expectation of NOG, and I would never be wrong at this point.

John Bull laughed but didn't say a word.

"I'm curious, how did you find my clues?" I gathered up and turned back to the main question and asked, "You took my Demon Summoner disk?" Is this your idea, or is it something else? ”

John Niu suddenly had a distressed expression, scratched his hairline, and said, "Mr. Takakawa, you are really direct. ”

"Because I don't need to be tactful, I don't really need a demon summoner. But, as you know, the origin of the demon summoner is very questionable, and I don't want you to be deceived or kept in the dark. I said calmly, "Perhaps, our enemies are counting on us to ignore these details because of the problem of love, and they will end up playing with them." To be honest, I feel that the demon summoner itself is part of the security mechanics of this repeater world, and that there is a possibility that our mystery could be exploited by the Nazis. ”

I explained all the reasoning and conjectures I had made a short time ago, and I was very open in my heart, and I tried to make John Bull feel that honesty - I needed everyone's help. If I bury all the questions and information in my heart, I will definitely be estranged from other people, and this estrangement will get bigger and bigger over time, and I don't want things to turn out like that, because it won't be good for everyone.

Regardless of what the other person thinks, I have always felt that honesty is the best part of my character, and among the psychological methods I know, making the other person feel my own honesty and then accepting this honesty is a prerequisite for a cooperation to start and gradually deepen - not only in psychotherapy, but also in social communication.

I don't expect others to be honest and sympathetic, but I always ask myself to be a person who can be trusted and trusted by others.

Yes, this is also a prerequisite that all heroes must have. In my mind, a true hero is first and foremost an honest, and has someone who can carry this honesty and the troubles that come with it.

I can't be a hero in the full sense of the word, and there have been many times when I've been dishonest, and I've been under external pressure, and I'm not psychologically able to bear the bad consequences of being completely honest, which means that I don't have that kind of energy and strength. Realizing this, I felt frustrated for a while, and I further understood how the hero in my mind is idealized - in fact, it is idealized in the first place, otherwise it is not a dream, I think, in the past, I just stubbornly thought that I could achieve it.

Yes, now I know that I can't do it, even if I was at the beginning, I have been trying to make myself on the path of heroism for all mankind, but I have never done it. At that time, I was very determined, but I did a lot of green and ridiculous things, so that when I look back now, I can't wait to bury my head in the ground. But that doesn't mean I want to be more vulgar, at least, I can be a hero to a few, and I know that I'm not just a life on my shoulders.

Even if I can only be a hero to a few, I think honesty is also very important, and it should even be one of the core of all thinking and action.

I know I can't be completely honest, but as someone who knows a little bit about psychology, I can adjust myself step by step and move towards that ideal state. I know that I am mean, naïve and cruel, that I have all kinds of anachronistic and uncommon ideas in my thinking, that I am a mentally ill person, and that my actions and thoughts are in many cases more contradictory than those of ordinary people. But because I knew these things, rather than taking them for granted as the ultimate truth like other mentally ill people, I was sure that I could move on.

Because of thinking, I know that I have too many unknowns, because of thinking, I know how the actions I take when I explore these unknowns, and because of thinking, I know that my current self will always have more cognition than my past self, and my future self will have more cognition than my current self, and these extra parts prove that I have been growing. And as long as you are still growing and your goals are always firm, you will eventually become what you think you are.

I sometimes think that if time is running out, maybe this is the real way to defeat the "virus". Even though time is running out and the "virus" is constantly active, I need to gamble on a miracle, I still feel that this deepening of self-awareness is very necessary.

I'm not afraid that I'm going to be someone else, even if I've died, split from another Takakawa, and been to the hospital reality, I'm still not sure if it's "reality" in the absolute sense. These strange encounters confuse me, but when I ask myself a little bit and pursue the appearance of the hero in my heart, I know that I am still Gao Chuan, no matter what the situation is, even if I am one with another self again, it will not change.

This confidence allowed me to look at John Bull calmly, and to calmly tell her about the adverse effects I had caused and my doubts about their arrival. Because, these facts and circumstances do not exist in my heart the need to conceal, it is actually stored in the facts, and perhaps I and others need to face them. I also believe that as long as the other party knows that they are honest and not a question, it will definitely be more conducive to solving the problem than hiding these thoughts and acting behind the scenes.

If the other person misunderstands or behaves contrary to your expectations, then there is no need to blame the other person, because, from the beginning, I was only asking myself to do something, not asking others to do anything. Expectation is not a request, and disappointed expectations are never a reason to blame others. (To be continued......)