Tomie rarely talked to me about philosophical topics, and she was always straightforward and uninterested in other people's ideas, but that didn't mean she never tried to figure out others. Pen @ fun @ pavilion wWw. ｂｉｑUｇE。 info Reading other people's minds is simply indispensable for the way she fights, and even then, in the past, she rarely talked to me about these topics. She just watched, watching deeply into my thoughts and troubles. Even if she seemed to talk more deeply about these topics at this time, it didn't make me feel that there was an element of "care" in it, nor did it make me feel that it was because of "worry". I don't understand why she would say this to me, if she was a normal person, she would stop talking about "people who don't like the Torchlight", but now she is going deep into it and talking about why she doesn't like them...... After that, we go deeper into the nature of thinking and acting.

I have to say that the depth of her is a little strange to me, although I am not shy about talking about it, and even when I do, it only reveals my stupidity and contradictions—compared to those true philosophers and thinkers, my knowledge and depth of thinking are not even "half a bucket of water", and others will only laugh at the things I think, and the things I fear are all useless delusions.

Tomie, why do you want to dig out all these nonsense thoughts that are in my mind at such a serious time at such a time?

However, I didn't ask the question. There is a force rooted in my sensibility that prevents me from asking this question—if there is enough rational proportion in my thinking, I will probably be able to ask it, because it is a very obscure but very important question from a rational point of view, but although there is a rational part at the level of thinking, but when it comes to action, it is completely perceptual, then this pressure that germinates from sensibility is irresistible.

What I wanted to say intellectually lingered in my throat until I was deeply pressed back by the pressure.

"People who give up thinking and still act persistently may be foolish and blind, but they are also in motion, aren't they?" The words I finally uttered were as follows: "A-Jiang, for what reason do you hate them? ”

"The movement carried out by thinking and the movement not by thinking are similar but not the same, and the way of movement and performance of the two are different." Tomie replied, "I don't think their sport is aesthetically pleasing. ”

Ah, I suddenly realized that Tomie was really not perfunctory, and she really didn't like it because she didn't think that kind of exercise was "beautiful". It was really very self-contained, full of human expression.

"So, you don't think I should go to them?" I asked her.

Tomie suddenly showed an ambiguous and calm smile and said to me, "It's up to you, Achuan." I'm just there for you, that's all. ”

"Well, I still want to meet them." I told her, "I need enough references to be able to compare myself and my plan to understand how I and my plan are in a cognizable state." My actions, my ego, my power, all need to be referred to to confirm existence. ”

"Am I just a reference?" Tomie smiled and said so.

"Of course, Ajiang you are. However, I crave more. I replied, "If I only use you as a reference, I think I will become weird, because you are too unusual. ”

"Hmm......" Tomie scratched his head and said, "Although I always hoped that Achuan would only have me in your eyes, but, since you think so, I won't stop it." After all, I'm more open-minded than anyone else. ”

“…… That's true. How else can I answer? I thought I knew who she meant by "the others", but in the end, I didn't confirm it.

I can't confirm that the questions about the relationship between Tomie and the "river", and more humanoid "rivers", were suppressed by some kind of force that arose in my mind. Sometimes I feel that this power comes from me, but sometimes I can't.

"I'm still going to take a look." Once again, I affirm my decision. I rarely do things that Tomie doesn't like, and I feel that the idea of taking care of her is my duty to stick to, but from an emotional point of view, when it comes to love, affection, and other emotions that can be called "love", love for her is not the only one, and the responsibility to uphold is not the only one. I can't forget Sakiya, Hakkei, Marceau, Dorothy, and Ishiki in the apocalyptic fantasy, and I can't forget their state as I saw them in the reality of the hospital, and loving Tomie deeply has never been a reason for me to give up on others. It would have been fine if it had been insignificant, but according to my inference, the apocalyptic illusion and the reality of the hospital that I could observe had reached an extremely grim situation, and I couldn't lean too much into Tomie's preferences even emotionally.

…… I'm going to make it, no, it has to be. Otherwise, my loved ones will not be able to escape from this infinite cycle of pain. Even if I can't be sure of my own rightness, I still have to stick to my plan no matter what, even if everyone can't be sure that my choice is completely and absolutely right. Further, if my plan can succeed, it proves that someone else's plan will not succeed. If someone else's plan succeeds, then my failure is not unacceptable.

I repeatedly confirmed that if I let up, my will and my actions would be crushed by despair, madness, and exhaustion—I knew, I knew, and the sooner I got to the end, the more I had to reaffirm that I couldn't let up.

"Whew-" I exhaled deeply, imagining that the stress that accompanies constant repetition, layering, entanglement, knotting, and contradictory thinking was all released from my body, "I've decided, Ajiang." I love you, but I also have things that I have to do. ”

"......" Tomie's face suddenly stuck in front of my eyes, and she suddenly stretched her head over, startling me, because the distance was too close, I couldn't confirm what kind of expression her expression was now, only to hear her say as if she was joking with something else: "Ah Chuan has more than one heart in my heart, which makes me a little unhappy." ”

“…… I'm sorry. "I don't have a better way to say it than that. Actually, I'm still a little worried, because the most important bargaining chip in my plan is the love for "Jiang" and the crazy thoughts in my mind, as well as the perseverance and root nature that have been tempered in the deteriorating situation, and I want to inject everything about me, everything I have about "Jiang", into the "virus", and become an introduction - if everything contained in the present self is destroyed before the "Jiang" is activated, then everything is not mentioned and, conversely, if these spiritual things contained in the present self are not pure enough, it will definitely be easily diluted by the "virus".

I have to confirm my love for "Jiang", and let "Jiang" understand and believe in my love for her, which is the key to the real final battle in my plan.

To do this, I have to constantly "filter" and "condense" myself on a daily basis.

Like now, even if Tomie doesn't like it, is it beneficial for him to stick to what he is doing? I can't be sure. However, it is a rational level of thinking and action to determine behavior from the perspective of "whether it is beneficial or not", and I can no longer carry out this kind of rational thinking and action, and if I start from the point of view completely from the senses, I cannot ignore other people in any case, and I cannot even simply compare the weight of "Jiang" and others.

Contradictions have always existed, and how many times have I encountered them now?

"Since Achuan insists, let's do it." Tomie said in a tone of impunity, looking lifeless, but also elusive because there weren't too many emotional changes, "I know where they are." ”

"Where did you hear that?" I couldn't help but ask, because, of all the information I had, none of them could confirm the state of the Torchlight today—it was as if they were surrounded by ever-increasing "deviations", and all detections of their intelligence would only lead to more and more strange clues, and careful analysis would only lead to some specious results.

It is clear that all detection of the Torchlight through the channels of mystical forces has undergone a huge cognitive shift before making actual contact with them.

"Naturally, I have my intelligence channels." Tomie replied.

"Is it the Doomsday Shinrikyo intelligence system?" I pressed on.

"Shinrikyo Doomsday has not been able to fully grasp the current situation of the Torchlight." Tomie's answer carries a lot of information.

"From this point of view, the people of Torchlight are also quite powerful." I tried to temper Tomie's opinion of those people.

"Foolishness and blindness can also produce great power." Tomie shrugged with a bored expression, "Even in some cases, the power it produces is beyond imagination. If everyone's heart can be compared to a string, and this string must also participate in the operation of all things, then the string in the heart of the foolish and blind is stronger and stronger than the string in the heart of most people. Think about it, Ah Chuan, all the things in the world that can be called 'miracles', whether they are good or bad, the creators of their actions are basically stupid and blind people, right? Those who are in their right minds can't do it. ”

Tomie raised his index finger and a cautious expression appeared on his face, and continued: "Completely 'stupid and blind' is itself a different rhythm, as the saying goes, 'If you don't think, you won't suffer from thinking'. The world in the eyes of the foolish and blind is different from you, Achuan. You must remember that the world you see is different, and do not speculate on them with your thoughts, because no matter how close they are, they will eventually deviate. And don't think you can fool them, because the concept of 'fooling' that you know doesn't mean anything to them. They have always existed, constantly moving in their own unique rhythm, just like the poem describes 'the mountain and stone do not move, the scene is still the same', and the "mountain stone" here is not simply a physical and material stone. ”

I understand what Tomie meant, and if I understand her words literally, it will definitely make people feel like a cloud, but just as the "things" in the poem are not simply physical objects, but more metaphors, many of the meanings in her words must be understood by understanding the metaphors. But even though she was very cautious, I couldn't really understand how cautious it was, and until I witnessed it myself, my own understanding was imprisoned by an invisible ceiling, and I couldn't break through that limit with my imagination alone.

"I'll take notice." I can only answer as cautiously as possible.

“…… It is not enough to pay attention to it, many things happen quickly and suddenly, completely beyond the pre-imagination and immediate reaction, and people's imagination and reaction ability always have a limit. Human beings are such fragile and limiting. Tomie said this, paused, and returned to his nonchalant expression, "Forget it, I'm here anyway, and there won't be a problem." Achuan, you don't need to worry too much. ”

"That's right." When I said this, I didn't hesitate in my heart, and many times, I trusted her more than myself. Because I saw my limits, but I didn't see her limits.

"Then let's go." Tomie pointed in a random direction and said, "This direction." ”

However, I don't really think it's really a "random direction". Tomie is so different, even if it is "casual", it will inevitably have a chain reaction in this apocalyptic illusion, and then produce the effect of "words and words" in occultism. I don't think she's ever looked into this kind of thing, because it's like a person's instinct. She said before that she knew because she had her own intelligence channels, and that's what I believed.

In my senses, the invisible high-speed passage began to spread again. Tomie put his hand on my shoulder, and I felt like I had an instinctive sense of where this invisible high-speed corridor should go, even if it was beyond my vision. I deeply felt that the will of the 'Jiang' that had always existed in my body was being manifested in this way.

Then, I grabbed Tomie's hand and jumped into this invisible high-speed passage.

The speed sweep begins.

The world seems to stand still. I just ran at my own pace, and the scenery I saw was not the same as the scenery that I saw moving backwards at a rapid speed while sitting on a high-speed train. The landscapes are relatively devoid of color and texture, even the steel is fragile, and the thin, almost white, gray, and black lines outline the contours of things, which are so scribbled that they resemble graffiti. Even so, it wasn't so messy that I couldn't be sure what the outlines were, and I saw more physical life, dead soldiers, and Nazi soldiers in this scribbled landscape...... Almost most of them are enemies, and the other side of the fight is always in the minority.