I don't know what was going on with the hut where I and Dr. Nguyen Le were, looking out as if the entire peninsula was still in the middle of a storm, rather than a temporary data hedging space. There is a strange alienation to my impression of the peninsula and the feeling it gives me. I don't know which of the scenes I see in front of me is real and which is unreal, or if the place where this hut is located is a separate and special space in the entire Las Vegas repeater, and this space exists simply because Dr. Nguyen Li is here.

However, I did not feel entangled in this, because in the mysterious world, there are many phenomena that are elusive even if you rack your brains, exhaust your imagination, exhaust your imagination, exhaust yourself to trace the root cause, and exhaust the crystallization of modern human scientific civilization. In many cases, looking at it with idealistic philosophy, speculating with the idea of a pure spiritual world, it can give people a more thorough feeling—but even this kind of thoroughness will at some point make people feel that they can't explain it all.

Treating all incomprehension as "mysterious" and using the concept of "mystery" itself to depict one's ignorance can always make people less hopeless in addition to being confused.

Dr. Nguyen Le is here, and I am here, no matter how eerie it is, it is more like a safe and peaceful sanctuary than anywhere else. Of course, there are secrets, but they are not what I am after.

The conversation I had with Dr. Nguyen Le was not because I had to figure out my situation, but because she always gave me a sense of urgency to tell me about it. She let me know that I was a patient, and she insisted that I was a patient. I know very well that what she is going to tell next is still "Takakawa is a patient". Of course, I would have resisted this idea for the first time, but now, I feel like I can listen to Dr. Nguyen Li. On the contrary, it will bring you a sense of "everyday" calm.

I knew very well that she was speaking for me. And my listening is for her.

Dr. Nguyen Le needed an audience, and I was the only one in the world. It's also the only thing I can do for her until I save anything.

I sat squarely across from Dr. Nguyen Li, like a psychiatrist.

In this cottage in the middle of nowhere, there is a sense of immediacy. In the layers of weirdness and gloom, there is a kind of trance warmth.

"The erosion of Claudia white will make people hallucinate, but these hallucinations have a complex basis in reality, which is the information that the individual has, the information that the individual receives instantly, the information that interacts with people, and the information that interacts with people and nature. It even includes the information generated by Claudia's own activities, which is the result of a complex and orderly combination of information at the subconscious level. This union has a purpose. Based on the understanding of the life sciences, it can also be considered as beneficial to Claudia White. Dr. Ruan Li's voice became very clear, "You can understand this, right?" Achuan. ”

I nodded.

"So. Suppose that we can sift and strip away the constituent information from this complex result in some way, and theoretically we can present the information from Claudia White. Taking a step back, since the hallucinations produced by the patient are the result of a synthesis of information. Then, among so many hallucinations, there must also be some hallucinations in the composition of information, and the information from White Claudia occupies the vast majority. Dr. Nguyen Le said.

I think she is reasonable, put it on the "virus" in the hospital reality, this set of theories can also be universal to a certain extent, no, it should be said that the hospital reality of the "virus" research, in fact, a large part of it, is based on such a theory. Because, in reality, there is also a Dr. Ruan Li in the hospital, and of course there is a deep connection between her and Dr. Ruan Li in front of me, and the ideas between them are also common in a sense.

It is precisely because the hallucinations seen by the patient reflect not only the patient's own information, but also that these information are not independent, so that such a shared and huge world can be constituted, because such a world is essentially a network of information interaction, in which there must be information about the culprit itself. More precisely, starting from the most naïve cognition, the information of the pathogen should also be the most critical guiding part.

"So, being able to see the illusion also means having the basis to be exposed to that part of the information." Dr. Nguyen Le said: "The scary thing is not that there are hallucinations, but that there are no hallucinations, and without the slightest possibility of contact, they die helplessly." The reason why the workshop studied the paradise was to be able to enter the patient's hallucinations in a more active way while maintaining their own normality, to understand the information present in these hallucinations, and to further feedback and analyze the part of the information about Claudia White. ”

If the name of "White Claudia" in her words is replaced by the name "virus", it is almost the observation mechanism of Dr. Ender and others on the apocalyptic illusion in the reality of the hospital. It's just that the hospital actually has a ready-made "Doomsday Fantasy", although there is no such drug as "Paradise", there are also other drugs, and even "Gao Chuan" and "Color Center" are experimental subjects that can be directly connected to the "Doomsday Fantasy".

The researchers in the hospital want to figure out the secret of the "virus", which is completely compatible with Dr. Ruan Li and the seminar in front of them trying to figure out the secret of "Claudia White".

"I was prepared for my own erosion by the white Claudia, and I had no resistance to seeing the black water and the woman you called the Four Heavenly Courtyard Coconut." "Because, in a sense, I saw hallucinations that only you could see in the past, which means that I have gained access to Claudia White – provided that I don't become like other patients, completely losing the ability to distinguish between reality and illusion." ”

I am silent about this, because I am not sure whether it is right or wrong. Even from Dr. Nguyen Li's point of view, her erosion by Claudia was not voluntary, just as ordinary people were infected during the spread of infectious diseases.

"I've injected myself with Paradise." Dr. Nguyen Le said, "I am very sure of my understanding of the black water and the Four Heavenly Yuan coconuts. It's completely different from Achuan you. ”

"I know." I say.

"No, you don't understand." Dr. Nguyen Le stared at me and said word by word: "Black water and Sitian Yuan Jia coconut are just a phenomenon, a comprehensive embodiment of lesion information, and the result of our intuitive understanding of the part of this comprehensive embodiment of information that can be observed. But. Ah Chuan, you have always believed that the people who turned into black water have all died, and the Four Heavenly Yuan Jia Coconut is the direct cause of this huge death, right? Do you think that the despair, anger and revenge I saw in Heishui were against the grievances and venting of the Four Heavenly Courtyard Coconut, right? ”

She paused. In a serious and sincere tone, he continued to say to me, "No, it's not like this, Achuan. The Four Heavenly Gardens do not exist, nor does the black water, and their appearance, which is only a part of the information we observe, is presented as an illusion that we can intuitively understand, but their essence is not just that—in fact. Humanity did not turn into black water, but got sick. Four billion black water, just to show that four billion people have been eroded by Claudia, and these four billion patients are not dead, because the black water is still active and still exudes the smell of disease. The Four Heavenly Courtyard Coconut is not human either. Not what she seems, a woman with mysterious powers. I think she's the epitome of the source of infection. I'm going to deal with her, not out of grudges, but to get people back. To prevent the death of four billion people, it is necessary to eradicate the source of infection and feed it back into the hallucination, that is, the act of eliminating the four-day courtyard coconut. ”

Dr. Ruan Li's explanation took me a while to react, but I felt that this was the most suitable cognition for her situation. Yes, when she saw the Black Water and the Four Heavenly Courtyard Coconut, when she, like me, encountered all kinds of unbelievable things on the way out of the peninsula, I thought that she would break her negation of the "mystery", but in fact, she did not deviate from her original logic and perspective from her own mystery, together with her observation and cognition of the Black Water and the Four Heavenly Courtyard Coconut.

"I see, that's what my mother thinks." I said, "Mom, do you think that destroying the Four Heavenly Courtyard Coconut means defeating White Claudia and saving the world?" ”

"No, maybe no, it's nowhere near the level of saving the world. But, at least an effective counter-attack to the erosion of White Claudia, I think so. In any case, wouldn't it be a meaningful victory if the defeat of the Four Heavenly Yuan Coconut would be able to stop a malignant disease that affected four billion people at one time? Dr. Nguyen Li smiled.

All her previous coldness, calmness, nervousness, distress and confusion faded in this smile. I understood what she was saying, I understood what she meant, and all my rhetorical questions were not just because I wanted to confirm them, but more because I thought she needed these introductions to let her pour out everything she had deposited in her heart. She used her identity as a doctor to explain those mysterious and strange conditions to me, and I also used my psychological knowledge to feel her heart.

Dr. Nguyen Le said so much, but the content did not interfere with me too much. In my opinion, it is a matter of course that Dr. Nguyen Le would think so. There is a huge difference between Heishui and the Four Heavenly Courtyard Coconuts in the eyes of me and her, and this kind of thing has long been clear. For me, Dr. Nguyen Li's smile is the most precious gift of this meeting.

"You're going to make it, Mom." I responded with my most sincere feelings.

"Ah Chuan, I have a gut feeling that as long as I can complete the medicine for this large-scale epidemic, I will have a chance to cure you." Dr. Ruan Li's expression was more and more full of hope and joy, "If it weren't for the influence of Claudia White, the special medicine injected into you before would have been effective, although it failed this time, but as long as you figure out the root cause of the change in your condition, you will definitely be able to make amends." ”

"Yes, I'm sure you can, Mom." I stared at Dr. Nguyen Li's smiling and confident face, but I had to stand up and say to her, "But it's time for me to go, Mom." ”

The joy and smile on Dr. Nguyen Li's face froze for a moment, and she calmly, as if she knew I was going to say this, said in a hard, indisobedient tone of command: "That's what you said last time. You always think you have something you have to do, but in this world, there is nothing that you have to do. I know very well what you're seeing, what you're thinking, and I'm never going to blame you, because the world you see is different. But—"

She said, stood up, and came to me. She stood up straight, so that I had to look up while I was sitting.

"But you're just a patient. The things you have to do, the responsibilities you think are yours, the world you see, and the things you are trying to save are not there. Dr. Nguyen Li's top-down view is like God's gaze on the world: "It doesn't matter how many times you say it, it doesn't matter whether you accept it or not, I will continue to tell you: Ah Chuan, you are just a patient, and what you want to defeat is not some demon or monster, just yourself." What you want to save is not a river, not Hachikei, Sakiya and the so-called Marceau, and the made-up color system and Dorothy, but just yourself. ”

I knew very well that she would say that, and her attitude had not changed at any given time. She thinks she's right, and sometimes I feel the same way. As she said, I am a sick person, but it doesn't matter whether I am sick or not, whether what I see is real or unreal, when I see these people struggling in the end of the world, this painful and endless cycle, and the lover who cannot be relieved by the infection and deterioration, I cannot ignore it.

I have many dreams, and the biggest dream is to be a hero. Even if I can't tell which of these disasters, dooms, and suffering people actually exist, even when Dr. Nguyen Le in front of me told me that the battles I had fought were meaningless, I knew very well that the world she observed was not the same as mine, and that my battle was by no means meaningless, as she said. (To be continued.) )