I reminisce about what happened to me.

I was defeated in the battle of sniping at the alienated right river, and I was defeated in the consciousness walk. When I woke up again, I was already in the operating room.

When I met Dr. Nguyen Li again, the impression she gave me was faintly different from what I felt after I was separated from her, and what I imagined about the changes in the peninsula afterwards.

I think I can figure out the difference and tease out the reasons behind it.

"Am I sick?" I sorted out everything and re-started from the perspective of "illness", using the most common logic of Dr. Nguyen Li to imagine the meaning of my situation from her perspective. All my thoughts and impressions of Dr. Nguyen Le are based on the information I have personally experienced, seen, and come into contact with, but in Dr. Nguyen Li's eyes, there are probably many errors and omissions, which is an illusion.

It doesn't matter whether I admit it or not, it's what Dr. Nguyen Le can see, what she touches, and what kind of logical way of thinking she can see, experience, touch and feel.

I have known for a long time that the world in Dr. Nguyen Li's eyes is completely different from the world in my eyes.

Perhaps, in some cases, we all see the same phenomena, but there is a clear difference in the understanding of these phenomena.

"Yes, it's sick." Doctor Ruan Li said this, and seemed to have a little headache, "It's not your fault, I underestimated the influence of Claudia White, although the medicinal properties of Paradise once had an effect, it further stimulated your mind and body, and made a new change in your condition." ”

"That is?" I followed her words and asked.

"That is, your condition has not deteriorated. But it's a little different from before. And I can't find a solution here for the time being. Dr. Nguyen Li replied solemnly.

I was silent for a few seconds, imagining the premise on which Dr. Nguyen Li would say such a thing.

Obviously, a large part of what happened to me before may be in the eyes of Dr. Nguyen Li. It is non-existent, it is a pathological and severe hallucination, an overreaction in hallucinations.

It is not clear to me how much of what is happening on the peninsula is "non-existent" for Dr. Nguyen Lê. Because, in my own experience, everything is a "fact" that is happening, not a "hallucination" caused by the disease.

"I don't know where to start." I say.

Dr. Nguyen Li nodded calmly. He replied, "I know you will, I'm used to it, and not being able to distinguish between illusion and reality is the most common condition." This time, the condition has changed due to the effect of the new drug, so you have to be prepared, Achuan. As she spoke, she pulled open the drawer next to her and handed over a patient gown.

I removed the needle from my body. Dressed up, he left the operating room with her. Just as I thought. The operating room was underground, and we walked up the spiral staircase for ten meters, and then completely broke away from the atmosphere surrounded by high-tech equipment and entered a cottage with ordinary decoration and no bright spots. Looking out of the window of the house, I couldn't see any view. There was just darkness in the middle of the night, and the darkness was so thick that I couldn't see the outline of anything, as if the whole world was the only one left in this hut where we were.

"What do you see?" Dr. Nguyen Li's voice sounded behind him. All of a sudden, I felt like I was frightened, as if I had never noticed her approach, and when I looked outside, I forgot that she was here. I don't know exactly what it was, but my heart was pounding.

Her voice was like a ghost, but as a mystical expert, I hadn't been surprised by ghosts and ghosts for a long time.

I was a little surprised at how sensitive I was at this point.

I could clearly feel a chill on my spine.

"I didn't see anything, it was pitch black outside." I couldn't help but tell the truth.

With the help of the light in the room, I looked at the reflection on the glass, and Dr. Nguyen Li's voice was in my ears, but the outline of the utensils in the room was reflected on the glass, but there was no trace of a human figure. I turned my head vigorously, only to see that Dr. Nguyen Le was indeed standing near her, and there was a dressing mirror behind her, and her real figure was reflected in the mirror, but there was still an absurd and mysterious emotion in my heart - there was Dr. Nguyen Le in the mirror, but not me.

I seemed to be in a trance for a while. I felt like I was awake again in an instant, and I didn't know when I had left the window and strayed away from the mirror. I saw Dr. Nguyen Le standing in front of the windowsill where I used to be, staring at the scenery outside, and that look made me think that there was something outside—and yet, when I saw from here, it was still dark outside.

I heard her say, "Ah Chuan, do you remember what we went through before we separated?" ”

Of course, we remember that we encountered the Four Heavenly Courtyard Coconuts and witnessed the sight of her four billion black waters surrounding the peninsula. The sacrifice of four billion people made Dr. Nguyen Li feel angry and hopeless, and the huge and complex emotions made the coming of the end clearer, and also activated her stronger will to find a way to take revenge through a series of further experiments on "paradise". After that, we parted, her whereabouts were unknown, and just after she left, the whole peninsula was almost completely flattened in the ensuing fierce battle. Judging from the desolation alone, if the laboratory had not been placed underground, I don't think ordinary people would have a chance of survival.

Although I firmly believe in my heart that Dr. Nguyen Le will not be affected by this terrible battle and die, I cannot imagine how she can ensure her survival and experimentation in such a cruel environment.

However, she was right in front of her at the very moment, and that was the only thing I didn't think was a hallucination. Even just now, I had another mysterious experience.

If I exist in this room, and Dr. Nguyen Le who is talking to me also exists, then all the "non-existence" I see and feel can only be an illusion.

My heart was pounding sharply for a while, but it was calm again, just. The strange smell that permeated the room, creeping into my conversation with her, lingered anyway.

"A huge amount of black water surrounded the entire peninsula, and a woman called Shitenin Gaco, ...... It's like a ghost. I answered Dr. Nguyen Lê's question briefly.

"In your eyes at that time, how did you think of me at that time?" Dr. Nguyen Le turned his face sideways to look at her problem. The combination of her eyes, the half of her face illuminated by the light, and the other half that I couldn't see, only made my throat tighter and tighter.

"You're furious, you swore to defeat that woman, to hack the black water with Paradise." I felt like my voice was a bit strained, but it wasn't meant to be a difficult question to answer.

Dr. Nguyen Le paused and said to me, "Your symptoms of illness started at that time. However, I was not aware of it at the time. ”

"What?" I had a vague premonition, as if I knew what Dr. Nguyen Li meant.

"Blackwater, woman, what we see is the same, but, how do you feel......" Dr. Nguyen Li said here, as if thinking about it. How can we make it simple: "What you see, what you feel." It's a little bit different from the real situation. This bias did not cause you to misunderstand, but it was the basis for a series of mistakes that followed. ”

"Error?" The more she said that, the more I didn't understand where I was, what had gone wrong, or rather. Where to start, what I see is an illusion - because, from the perspective of Dr. Nguyen Li's vision, "hallucination" is what actually happens to me.

"Maybe it's a mistake. Not quite quite right, either. Dr. Nguyen Li shook his head and said, "Just the cognitive biases, and the accumulation of these biases will make the world you and I see completely different." ”

"I know that, Mom." I say.

"Now here's an example: you say, there's nothing outside the house, it's pitch black." Dr. Nguyen Li's words have a deep meaning.

"Isn't that so? Mom. So what's outside the house? I couldn't help but pinch my fingers and ask with a hint of nervousness for some reason.

I didn't hear what Dr. Nguyen Le said when he opened his mouth, I felt that I was in a trance again, and when I tried to wake myself up, I was already standing in front of the windowsill again, and Dr. Nguyen Li's voice came from the side and back that was close at hand. It makes me feel that my position with her has not changed as it did at the beginning. It's just that the reflection on the glass shows the outline of Dr. Ruan Li.

Suddenly, thunder burst out of the window, like a sharp sword slashing into the black curtain, tearing apart the darkness of nothingness like a crack. Beneath the winding, purple-red razer, there was a sudden light of light—gloomy and dense dark clouds, heavy rain, stagnant water flowing like a stream, wilted trees and flowers, and a road covered in dirt with only a faint outline—all of which squeezed into my eyes in this glitter.

Although there are many differences from what I have seen in the past, the only thing that makes me feel familiar is that I am still on the peninsula. The place where this house is located is somewhere on the peninsula. However, after the fierce battle with the Moon God and the Alienated Right River, this scenery should have disappeared, and even if there were any remnants, it should be extremely remote, close to the surrounding area of the peninsula, but not flooded by black water. However, in the short time since I broke up with Dr. Nguyen Li, how did she cross such a distance? And how did I come to this place after I was severely injured by the consciousness walking of the alienated right river?

In my mind, waking up on the operating table, seeing Dr. Nguyen Le on such an occasion, being in this room, seeing the unchanging scenery of the peninsula outside the window, in the midst of a storm, are extremely unbelievable.

The scene outside the window was only a moment of thunder and lightning, and then it was engulfed in darkness again. The darkness obscured all life, as if what had been seen before was the real illusion.

My eyes widened, but I couldn't see anything anymore.

"This is the ...... of White Claudia I researched a lot of information, and all of them ...... The hallucinations that the patient sees will make him feel like he is there...... "Dr. Nguyen Li's voice came intermittently, and I didn't hear it completely, but I roughly understood what she meant. Dr. Nguyen Li's judgment of these strange things is still based on the scientific level she knows, and the core is still "Claudia White".

And the series of strange situations that I saw and felt were still regarded as the result of "onset".

I shook my head vigorously, trying to throw these complicated things out of my mind. It doesn't matter to me what she and I see, what the differences are, what kind of principles they are based on, or what the essential meaning of these differences is. Because, even if I fully accept Dr. Nguyen Li's statement, it will not have any positive effect on my "condition" at all.

I think that Dr. Nguyen Le said this to me, trying to reverse my judgment of "illusion" and "reality", which is just a habit she has always been my psychiatrist. As she put it, she tried to "heal" me, but never really succeeded. It is not that I am not cooperative, but the more important reason is the severity of the disease, the mechanism of the disease, and the unpredictable deterioration.

If she blames Claudia White for all her failures, then I don't think she can do anything until she fully understands Claudia.

What I want to know most is just what stage of her experiments with "paradise" has reached, no matter how different the world is in our eyes. She had seen the Black Water and the Four Heavenly Courtyard Coconuts just like me, and that couldn't be changed - in her words, she was also infected by White Claudia at this time, but not as badly as I was.

Paradise, Black Water, and the Four Heavenly Courtyards are our connecting points and the places where our observations intersect.

Thoughts like this calmed me down again.

I opened the window and sat down on a chair, across from Dr. Nguyen Lê. I looked at her, and the situation suddenly gave me a sense of immediacy, as if it had been common in the past. I was like a patient waiting for a psychiatrist to diagnose me.

In my eyes, only the small circle where she and I sat across from me was bright, as if two spotlights were shining on us. Outside, the interior of the house was dimmed and blurred.

"The erosion of Claudia White will make people hallucinate, but these hallucinations have a complex basis in reality, which is the information that individuals have, the information that individuals receive immediately, the information of interaction between people, the information of interaction between people and nature, and even the information generated by Claudia's own activities, which is the result of a complex and orderly combination of information at the subconscious level. This combination is purposeful, based on an understanding of the life sciences, and can also be considered as beneficial to Claudia White. Dr. Ruan Li's voice became very clear, "You can understand this, right?" Achuan. (To be continued.) )