The next day, I woke up as usual, and the night was not in a nightmare, I slept deeply, and when I woke up, nothing strange happened. The female patient was lying on the other side of me, staring at me with her eyes open, and she seemed to have woken up. I helped her get dressed, washed, and fed her breakfast. I don't know her, I don't think she's anything special, and I'm not obligated to help her with anything, she's just an ordinary patient who has nothing to do with me, but now I do these things with a very calm and natural heart.

It's still raining outside the window, and it seems to be going on for a longer time since yesterday, and even more so than yesterday. I don't know if this would be the case in a natural situation, but even though it looks like a natural phenomenon around this peninsula, it still has a bit of a mysterious flavor. As the crew said, there will be a lot of rain in the area, and there will be a lot of strange things happening on the peninsula. These oddities aren't just man-made mysteries.

Psychiatric hospitals and peninsulas are normal for the residents of the surrounding towns, but at some point, they can become weird and scary. It's full of dark legends, some apocryphal, some far-fetched, but many of them true. For anyone who is going to live in a peninsula psychiatric hospital this rainy season, these weird and terrifying rumors will not be unaffected because they are "unscientific". On the contrary, human consciousness is quite susceptible to the influence of the environment. In the occult, there are many examples of the use of creating a certain atmosphere in order to deepen the interference of the forces of consciousness.

I think if people here hallucinate. Nightmares, whether due to drugs or whatever, the content of these hallucinations and nightmares must resonate deeply with the gloomy atmosphere of the place. I hope to find more information. Learn about the rumors about the peninsula and the psychiatric hospital.

I picked up my phone, and if it hadn't been for the sudden ringtone, I would have almost forgotten about it. I thought it was incredible, but when I think about it, I shouldn't be surprised. I often subconsciously forget and ignore certain things, but that doesn't mean they aren't important. On the contrary, I feel that I am not such a forgetful person, and if I forget and ignore these things, then, it must mean. These things are actually very important, and that's why for some reason their existence has become diluted in my consciousness.

Isn't this qiē the proof that there is some kind of power in the underworld, fiddling with the world?

I don't know if I have a certain religious belief, and I don't think my attitude towards the "mysterious" is actually based on a firm belief in its existence. Because while acknowledging the existence of the "mysterious", I still try to interpret it from other perspectives, in different situations. To use it in a different sense - which means that I only recognize it for convenience, in order to give myself an unreasonable but acceptable answer.

What "mystery" is, whether it is only on the surface, may be in my heart. It doesn't matter at all. It's a tool when you need it. It can be interpreted as a certain meaning, but when it is not needed. But it will subjectively revise this meaning.

So far, all I absolutely believe in is the existence of "river" and "virus".

Now that I have experienced so many strange and strange events, and recognized the complex and changeable world, and the boundary between reality and illusion is so blurred, I can only think that everything I have observed is based on "river" and "virus". On the other hand, as long as I can relate what I observe to the "river" and the "virus", then whether it is real or illusory in the eyes of others, it is a side of the truth to me.

My worldview, which has been shattered and subverted several times, has also been consolidated as a result. When people read my notes, they might suspect that this is just the imagination of a mentally ill person, or some kind of "brain in a vat" type of story. But for me personally, as long as there is a "river" and a "virus", then it is not just a fantasy, a hallucination, a nightmare, or a story.

No matter what others say or think, I can answer with the utmost certainty that this qiē has "happened" and continues to develop, and if anyone doubts, then I will not argue, because it is only because the doubter cannot observe it, so it produces the illusion that it "does not exist" and "is only a fantasy".

My mood is not as turbulent as it used to be. During the long period of recovery, with the growth of intuition, memory, and cognition, I no longer have too many doubts about the world I have, the world I can observe, and my life, emotions, and mission. I can be very calm and look at the things that make people crazy, and do things that seem ridiculous or boring to others.

Before the patients left the cafeteria, I sent the female patient back to her room, and then entered the room where the patients had been locked. Not all patients leave their rooms, and I don't know how often they leave their rooms, but in a normal psychiatric hospital, there will be doctors and nurses to take care of them, so that they don't just don't eat or drink and die in their rooms. However, this peninsula psychiatric hospital is not normal, and I am not sure if there will really be people here to help them.

What I got was that the seminar deliberately had seven patients live in seven different settings, and then they were paired with other ordinary patients with no special status, all of whom had taken the new medication, of course. This approach is almost like making the routine patient the most special one in his residential area, and can be regarded as the "head". They expect that in such an environment, some important situations can be observed, or some important numbers can be collected.

In fact, I personally don't understand what they want, and whether it is really meaningful and effective. But it was clear that I had no more influence on the symposium than it did on us patients.

But because I've become the most special one here on the surface, I feel like I have some kind of responsibility to the patients here. It's a very hazy sense of responsibility. I don't want a patient to die just because they are left to their own devices, unable to take care of themselves. Specifically, I already have a hunch. I feel that it is impossible for all patients to survive, and the fact that the seminar is going on must be very harmful to the patients, however, I hope that as many people as possible in my ward will survive.

Yes. I can't save the world, but I at least hope I can save my loved ones...... Expanding that range a little bit, I want to be somewhere when I get my footing. to protect the people of this place.

Therefore, even if it is just a group of mentally ill people who are classified as real people, even if I know that there is not much I can do, I don't want to completely ignore it for such reasons. Just like treating that female patient, even just taking care of her daily life, can calm me down.

While I was helping her, I also felt like I was helping myself.

From this female patient to the pen fun pavilion www.biquge.info. I also hope that I can help more patients.

I searched their rooms and counted their numbers. Determine their daily activities and mental state. I don't know if there are hidden cameras that monitor the behavior of everyone in this ward, including me, but even with such surveillance, I realize that I don't really care. I can assume that the monitor doesn't really let the patient go. Left to its own devices, but. I'm also not sure they wouldn't. So. Starting from the worst possible, I try to understand and integrate every patient in the ward, trying to keep them on a good schedule.

When Dr. Nguyen Le called, I was compiling the materials for the preliminary investigation. I drew a map of the structure of the hospital, as well as the interior of the psychiatric hospital that had been explored, and the overall situation of the peninsula, and wrote down all the information I knew on a slip of paper. After that, in a certain order, nail one by one to the wall. These tools such as pen and paper, thumbtacks, etc., were collected in other patients' rooms. At first, I thought that all the patients in the ward lived in the same environment as I did, but in reality, the difference was huge. There are even some patients in their rooms who have large household appliances such as televisions and washing machines, which are also connected to electricity. However, after some searching, I finally confirmed that the consciousness of the patients here was extremely low, and their reflexes were sluggish, as if the wisdom of modern man had disappeared from their*, and what remained was only a mechanical and numbing activity.

Sometimes, I even feel that their consciousness is not actually in their own body, and their physical activity is actually just an instinct and inertia

It's like sleepwalking. Many people feel discouraged when faced with such patients, feeling that what they are doing is meaningless. Because, no matter what you do, you will not get kind feedback from the other party, and even malicious will not exist.

For me, though, how they react doesn't get in the way of what I want to do. I know very well that what I have done is not only for them, but also for myself, so if they feel that it is a good deed and are grateful, it is naturally the best, and even if they do not have any consciousness and just passively accept this qiē, I will not have any resentment or disgust.

I don't expect anything in return from them. Because, when I do things according to my heart, I have already found peace.

The female patient sat on the bed like this, not knowing what she was thinking, staring blankly at the ceiling. I took the phone while examining the information on the wall, analyzing it in my mind.

"Really? Had such a nightmare. "Dr. Nguyen Le listened to my description of the nightmare and fell silent for a moment, as if she was wondering why the nightmare was the way it was. For me, this nightmare was full of doubts, and I didn't believe that Dr. Nguyen Le could really use her knowledge to explain my doubts.

"Is this a success or a failure?" I asked. Because the new drug was actually developed in response to the influence of Claudia Bai on human consciousness, Dr. Ruan Li and others hope that they can actively fall into hallucinations and carry out spiritual self-regulation and assist in regulation. The seminars are psychological, and they will only look at the apocalyptic process that is taking place through the human consciousness. In fact, this starting point is already very similar to the "human completion plan" led by Dr. Ander in the hospital reality—a more direct, spiritual shaping and deepening to influence materialization* in the process. The transformation of the spirit is more proactive, while the physical change is more natural in line with the spiritual change. In the "Human Completion Plan", a spiritual "perfect person" will appear first, and then this "perfect person" body. will gradually fit in with his spirit, and eventually become a real "perfect person".

What the seminar is doing is also starting from the spiritual aspect, using guò drugs to affect the patient's spirit, and then resisting the influence of Claudia Bhalla on the human mental aspect, even. Channel this influence to the "beneficial" side. The most obvious difference from the "Human Completion Project" is that the seminar focuses on the "mental effects of drugs" and does not touch on any actual aspects related to the patient's body.

There is no doubt that such a direction of tackling key problems. Although it is not that the importance of the "body" is not recognized in a large way, but simply because it is necessary to focus on a certain aspect in a short period of time with limited resources in order to achieve a phased result, it is in conflict with the research direction that Dr. Nguyen Le hopes to do. She came here and participated in research. It is for my specific patient's condition, and in my observation, her research direction. In fact, I am more inclined to apply the influence of drugs to *, and then interfere with my mental state.

Although the means are to create a drug that makes people hallucinate, from the initial point of view, it is indeed to affect the spirit, but. It's different on Cheng dù. Probably because of the interference of the mysterious organization, the practice of the seminar. There is a slight bias towards putting aside the * and studying the spirit alone. There is a tendency to mystify in the signs that I can perceive, but this is really a practice that is not approved of by Dr. Nguyen Lê.

If it is Dr. Nguyen Li, he should try to understand the impact of the new drug on the patient's body, and not give priority to the mental changes. Mental changes are merely some kind of indicative, instructive changes, and although the number jù of the change in mental state is collected, these numbers are collected for the purpose of confirming the change.

In Dr. Nguyen Li's theory, the number jù change of mental state is an aid to the study of the number of physical states, and should not be regarded as the subject in the whole study. Just because I am doing psychological research, because the object is a mentally ill person, I regard the psychology and spirit of the patient as the subject, but in fact, I have gone astray. She believes that, basically, all the pathologies of the mentally ill can be attributed to the pathologies of *, and as long as the treatment of the pathologies of * can be completed, their psychology can be better cured. Of course, there are many examples that have proven that even normal and healthy people can have very strict mental pathologies and psychological shadows, but Dr. Nguyen Li believes that the reason why she has achieved her current status in the academic world is precisely because she has been specializing in and sticking to her own path, so she has never doubted her own treatment methods and research theories because of these examples - she is like this, using her own examples to educate me and ask me to have my own opinions and persistence.

Therefore, Dr. Nguyen Li's view of my nightmare must be different from that of most people at the seminar. I don't know if any other patients who have taken the new drug have confided in her about their nightmares, but theoretically, all seven patients would have been asked to speak. On the other hand, Mitsukashi and others, who participated in this symposium, also needed to talk to the patients who had been diagnosed with them in order to obtain enough numbers to complete their papers and participate in the final assessment.

Therefore, I think that all the people who come into contact with the patients who come into contact with the patients will be more or less aware of the nightmares. But I also feel that there are not too many experts like Dr. Nguyen Li who can get a complete and detailed description from a patient.

I have always believed that my nightmare, in the eyes of Dr. Nguyen Li, can be used to judge whether the effect of a new drug is in line with my expectations, it is a symbol that is only suggestive, but has no practical meaning. The qiē in the nightmare is "fake", but it is a distorted form of "true".

As for the question of whether the new drug is a "success" or a "failure", it is actually only Dr. Ruan Li. Perhaps, for the seminar, this nightmare was a welcome one, representing a certain stage of success. However, when talking about nightmares before, Dr. Nguyen Li's appearance made me feel that she thought that the new medicine was a failure and had a negative effect on the patient.

"Failed." Sure enough, Dr. Nguyen Le said to me, "In my opinion, the effect of the new medicine may make you dream, but it should not be such a dream. I compared blood samples and found that the negative effects of this drug on the human body have exceeded the predetermined standard. However, the workshop considered that this was a memorable development, and that the negative impact was somewhat excessive compared to the progress, but it was permissible. Cautiously and worriedly, she told me: "They have lowered the bar again. ”

After a pause, she asked me, "What do you think would be the psychological aspect of this practice at such a time?" ”

"A lower limit?" I said hesitantly.

Dr. Nguyen Le sneered and said, "They were confused...... No, it should be said that they have been affected by White Claudia, after all, not everyone can hold on to dealing with that thing for so long. Now, their hearts have begun to deteriorate, and they will gradually become less pure, and scientific research without rationality and bottom line will only lead to disaster, but will not achieve positive results. ”

"And what do you do?" I'm a little worried.

"Don't worry, even though I think their research has gone astray, my research continues, and I started working with them because they allowed me to use the equipment, resources, and results here. No matter how they become, it doesn't affect my pace, progress, and direction...... In short, although you are a routine patient, the individual patient is first and foremost attached to the individual expert, not the seminar. So, I have the right not to let you use their new medicine. Dr. Nguyen Li said, "From now on, the drugs I make will be marked, you know how to identify them, right?" ”

I nodded.

"Take only marked medicines." Dr. Nguyen Le advised.

"That way, won't you have nightmares?" I have to confirm once again, to be honest, that I don't want to be completely free from that nightmare full of meaning and incongruity, and for ordinary patients, if they don't enter that nightmare again, it probably means that they are free from the influence of the deepest night and the terrible fate of being sacrificed. Undoubtedly safer. But I'm not just a patient, I'm an occultist above all, and I have to be part of that nightmare.

"I don't know, probably not." Dr. Nguyen Li shook his head and replied, "The best effect, of course, is that you don't have this nightmare again, but my research uses some of the results of the workshop, which means that the effect is the same in one respect, even if the negative effects are indeed reduced and above the predetermined standard value, it is impossible to completely rule out the negative effects." So, you're probably going to have that nightmare anyway, but with my medication, the same dream should be less terrifying - I don't know exactly what happened. ”

Actually, even though it's a "nightmare", I don't really have any fear when I'm in it.

"Mom, are any of the patients who are currently taking the new medicine going crazy and dying?" I remembered the weirdness of my own killing, and connected with the hallucinations not long ago, and I couldn't help but ask.

"Crazy? What do you mean? Dr. Nguyen Li was a little stunned, but he still told me with certainty: "I don't dare to say anything in the future, but now, not a single patient who has taken the medicine has died." As for hallucinations and conjectures on a regular basis - isn't it normal? ”

Indeed, it is normal for a mentally ill person to go crazy, especially after taking a new drug that is sure to have side effects. However, the patients in my ward were also patients who had taken new medications, but they were all lifeless and lacking in energy.

"To be precise, the probability and number of seizures of mentally ill patients who are already manic have not increased significantly after taking the drug." Dr. Nguyen Le shook his head and said, "On the contrary, similar to yours, the patient's vitality is showing signs of decline. ”

Dr. Nguyen Li's answer made me wonder about the strange source of the nightmare. (To be continued)