Allowing mentally ill people to sort out what they have seen and heard in a storytelling process is what Dr. Nguyen Le calls "self-correction". It is extremely strict not only for the storyteller himself, but also for the story itself. For the story, before the organization and storytelling, there is a key prerequisite, that is, "temporary creation", this story, should not be prepared and carved, but should be formed immediately, and for the doctor who implements this treatment, the most important thing is to distinguish whether the story that the patient is telling is "improvised" or "prepared", or "prepared in advance, but pretended to be a temporary creation". For three different situations, a more complex assessment process is also separated when the final assessment is made. The worst thing is that "the story is prepared in advance, but it is disguised as an improvised creation", and the doctor can't distinguish the situation, as long as the doctor can tell it, then, even if the story is prepared, there will still be gains.

The therapy itself does not mind whether the patient knows about the therapy earlier, as I know very well about it when I was doing this therapy, and Dr. Nguyen Le has mentioned the principle and cases of this therapy many times, which is enough to prove that she knows about the patient and does not care at all.

From time to time, Dr. Nguyen Le would deliberately interrupt me while I was telling a story and ask questions that seemed inexplicable or boring to me. All I can do is answer truthfully, after all, even if it is perfunctory, it does not have the effect of "perfunctory". So, on the contrary, there is no need to think too much.

At half past eleven in the evening, Dr. Nguyen Li finally stopped the inquiry, sorted out the file, and said to me a little strictly: "Ah Chuan, I'm sorry. You won't be able to go to school for at least a month, and I'll issue a sick note to the school. ”

It seems that in Dr. Nguyen Li's diagnosis, my condition is quite bad.

"I don't think there's anything wrong with me, and I'm not going to attack people at will." When I said this, my heart was very calm. I feel that this is my own heart. However, Dr. Nguyen still insists on his opinion: "It's not a question of whether you want to or not, whether you attack others or not depends more on whether you feel hurt or not, and it has little to do with whether you actually receive harm." 'Feeling hurt' itself is a psychological problem, and judging from the diagnosis, your current mental state is likely to amplify the psychology of 'being hurt'. Maybe it's an illusion, maybe it's a small inadvertent action from someone else. Or something else will make you extra sensitive and enter an extreme state of self-preservation. ”

"You're saying that I now have Yan zhòng's paranoia of being killed?" I say.

"It's okay to say that, but in fact, delusions of victimization are part of your psychopathology." Dr. Nguyen Le said, "Of course, the actual situation is a little more complicated. You take the apocalyptic story you told before, you go through all kinds of incredible things in the story, and you think that qiē makes you who you are. This means that your heart is beginning to be unat peace, and we have worked together in the past. And so it was ruined. It is extremely dangerous for a mentally ill person who is not at peace of mind and decides to do something on the premise of the end of the world with no sense of the world. I think you know exactly what I'm talking about by now. ”

"Mom, our disagreement is only over whether the end of the world will survive or not." I can't help but say.

"Nope. Our disagreement is whether or not the end of the world is not a matter of knowledge. Dr. Nguyen Le stared at me with a stern expression: "If you are in your story, the end of the world is because a meteorite fell, causing the Nth mass extinction. Maybe it would be better. ”

"I don't understand." I'm telling the truth.

"Quite simply, the end of the world with common sense can be saved by relying on common sense, while the end of the world without common sense requires a person to do something that is not very knowledgeable." Dr. Nguyen Li asked me rhetorically: "You have seen many of my cases here, and you know how bad things are, but you just don't think about it subconsciously." Human common sense has universal values and is a necessary condition for promoting social coexistence, so the non-consciousness on the other hand will naturally make people detach themselves from universal values and social concepts, and all non-conscious thoughts and behaviors are themselves characteristics of anti-social and anti-human tendencies. ”

"It's not so strict, Mom, I still know what universal values and social concepts are. Isn't there a lot of humanity and positive energy in my story? I retorted.

"The basic structure of the story is based on extraordinary knowledge, and the means to solve those extraordinary knowledge are also very knowledgeable, which is the essence of this story. The humane and positive plots you mentioned are also full of extraordinary elements. Ah Chuan, didn't you find out? This story is full of extreme characters and thinking, and a normal person can't be so simple and extreme - these story characters, except for you, are more like templates for refining a certain type of consciousness characteristics, you have explained it in your composition class, this kind of writing will make the characters distinct and representative, but it itself is the result of artistic processing - you treat the things that have been processed by art as things that exist in reality, and use such things as the basis to examine the surrounding qiē, I don't need to say anything more about what the result will be, right? Dr. Nguyen Le said.

I understand what Dr. Nguyen Le means that observing reality from an artistic perspective will only make reality "ugly", but this "ugliness" is nothing more than an ideological illusion. From the point of view of materialism, "world" is just a neutral word, it does not have the attributes of "ugly" or "beautiful", it is just a mechanism, complex and expansive, without a specific margin, so it cannot be fully observed in the true sense. Therefore, the so-called "the world is beautiful or ugly" is actually said to be "in someone's eyes, the world" is "like this", and without the premise of "in someone's eyes", the meaning of the second half of the sentence cannot be established.

My apocalyptic story makes Dr. Nguyen Li think that I am now looking at the reality around me with a negative attitude and perspective - if I say that everything around me is just an illusion, and even Dr. Nguyen Li in front of me is just a phantom of consciousness, then it naturally proves that my psychopathy is strict.

My position, my perception. I can't argue with Dr. Nguyen Lê. The "reality" of Dr. Nguyen Le and I is a very different thing.

This is truly the most impressive accident I've had since I entered the repeater world.

"Until you can accept reality, I hope you don't run around, understand?" Dr. Nguyen Le said sternly: "Your sense of alienation, estrangement, and even rejection from the outside world will make you hallucinate. Those hallucinations can lead you into situations where you have to use violence. Maybe in your eyes, everything is normal, but when other people look at you, they don't feel normal. ”

Dr. Nguyen Le had a point, and I was speechless. If I have to say that she has any mistakes, it is only that there is a disagreement between her perception of "common sense of the world" and me. But I'm not sure if I would change her mind if I showed the power of the magic pattern in front of her at this time. The idea was subconsciously rejected as soon as it came to mind. A strong intuition told me that it was useless, why did it work, and I still didn't try it.

The time was almost midnight, and a series of consultations consumed not the body, but the spirit, and both me and Dr. Nguyen Le really felt tired.

"Sleep in peace. Achuan. Dr. Ruan Li packed up the materials, pushed open the door of the study and walked out. A qiē will get better, your condition is a little recurrent, but hasn't it been solved one by one in the past? It's the same this time. ”

I sat upright in my chair until Dr. Nguyen Li's footsteps had completely disappeared, then I got up and left the study and returned to my bedroom. Turn on your computer. I immediately received many email notifications, a large number of which came from Sakiya, Hakkei, Tomie, and Sagawa, but there was no particularly important news. I replied casually and lay on the bed. There seemed to be a lot of things turning in my mind, but they were transparent, blurry, unshaped, like clouds, which dissipated when trying to catch them, and quietly converged in another place.

Wrapped in these thoughts that I don't understand, I don't know how long it has been, I don't know when it is, and I don't know why, when I was a little sober, I found myself standing on a long staircase. There is no head in sight in the up, no tail in sight in the down, the long staircase is only two meters wide, and beyond the sides is a deep and empty darkness, and the red directional arrows are smeared on the center line of the staircase, as if they have just been brushed up, with a very thick paint, and they have not dried up.

The directional arrow is like saying sù to me, go down. I didn't think about whether I should do it or not, my body was already moving, going down. It seemed like a long time before I woke up a little more and suddenly realized that I was dreaming. And when I had the consciousness of "dream", all the fog that hindered my thinking seemed to be blown away at this moment. It was then that I suddenly realized that this long staircase with no head and tail was filled with gray mist. The gray mist was like a spring, just knee-high, but it was quite deep.

It's an anomaly, and while it's impossible to tell if it's caused by the repeater's defense mechanism, or if it's a "mysterious" spread, a mysterious phenomenon related to electronic demons, it's certain that you're in an anomaly with "consciousness" as the main manifestation. Moreover, judging from past experience, the expression of consciousness with "dreams" as the main body often evolves into nightmares, especially when it comes to this deep gray fog phenomenon, and there are some inexplicable situations, such as supernatural phenomena that cannot be explained by rational cognition.

This abnormal environment often causes the contact to produce a large number of negative emotions in a short period of time, and the sudden danger will make the contact person have no time to prepare, and if you are lucky, the only consolation is that this nightmare will not appear once "the death in the dream is reflected in reality", that is, dying in the nightmare two or three times will not produce irreversible results.

Was this nightmare directed at me personally, or was it a broader anomaly? As I thought so, a light appeared in front of the seemingly endless staircase.

When I walked into the light, there was a blinding white light in front of me, and when the light faded, what appeared in front of me was a gray and dilapidated city scene. Gray does not only refer to the light, although the overhead is always cloudy, and the heat of the sun is not felt, but what highlights this gray is an atmosphere that emanates from sensory factors such as smell, sight, feeling, and sound. The streets are quiet, like they haven't been bothered for a long time. When the wind blows, the flying confetti and the tumbling garbage cans make people feel the decay of this place, and the shadows cover the buildings in large areas, but even in the darkness that cannot be seen. It's also empty, and there is no feeling of "being peeped at by something" that often appeared in the nightmares in the past, only to make people feel that there is really nothing here.

Because it is empty, because it is silent, when there is a sound, even if it is slight, it becomes especially loud. And this kind of sound is empty, there is no malice at all, and there is no other thing that deliberately provokes feelings. No one is frightened by the sudden sound in the silence, because there is no room for reverie in the first place. But it was this emptiness that made me feel that something was swelling inside me, something that had been hidden deep in my mind in the past. It is the part that is instinctively forgotten, as if to fill the emptiness of the outside world. It's floating, rising, going to break my head, leap out.

This feeling is not pain in the sense of common sense, however, it is more uncomfortable than any body can feel pain. It's also very scary.

Fear comes from the depths of people's hearts, and external factors are only triggers - this perception has become particularly vivid in this gray and dilapidated city. I endured this deep swelling of my heart. Carefully observe the details around us, and only from the details, can we deeply understand where the feeling of "dilapidation" comes from. Although I know that this is a nightmare, the details of the scenery are not hazy, but subtle to the extreme, and when you look closely, there is no sense of reality, just like a painting that is too focused on detail, but extremely rigid.

The colors of the whole city are thick and cold, I seem to be walking in a panoramic oil painting that wants to express extreme negative feelings, which is both unreal and full of empty scenes, and I only feel that the whole person's emotions are more intense than usual - I think that the agitation of this kind of emotions is just an illusion, but under normal circumstances, there is too much information to fill the heart, but the fluctuations of the feelings are covered, and now, without that kind of covering, the naked fluctuations of the feelings will make people feel extremely uncomfortable.

There was nothing here, and as I walked from the street to the end of the alley, the fog would change dramatically in concentration within twenty meters, and the scenery beyond twenty meters would quickly become hazy, leaving only a general outline, and the fog within twenty meters would be so thin that people could notice it, but it could not obscure the view. Of course, these fogs are also gray. The process of the store going from blurry to clear is very abrupt, and the turning point of the distance of twenty meters can be clearly felt.

I lifted the garbage cans, and there was a clanging sound in the streets, these garbage cans were as light as pieces of paper, and the garbage that leaked out when the garbage cans rolled, like leaves blown by the wind, floated in the air for a while, as if their gravity was only one-tenth of the usual one, but I did not feel the change in gravity. In contrast, the trees rooted on both sides of the street are so hard that it feels like they are not growing wood, but something fixed in the space, and this strange feeling can only be felt after testing how hard it is, and it is impossible to see the clues just by looking at it. Outside of the initial situation, some of the shops can be entered, and the walls, doors and windows of some of the shops seem to be tightly fixed to the space, making people feel that no matter how hard they try, they cannot be opened and destroyed—this part of the store is like a sticker background that is forbidden to pass in a video game and has no substance.

No, or rather, the nightmare city we are in now is like an artificially created video game scene. If you look at it this way, you will feel that the anomaly here is no longer an anomaly.

I can't help but think of electronic demons. Although there is no evidence for the time being, isn't it fitting that the animatronic demon appears in a nightmare that resembles a video game scene? Perhaps, this nightmare city will become the source of the spread of electronic demons.

I went to the bottom of a map of the city, and finally determined that the city was based on the "City of Las Vegas", and the English place name on it was clearly written. However, at this moment, it seems that I am the only one who has come to this nightmare Las Vegas. Of course, this urban scene is huge, and if there are people, it is likely to be scattered in different corners, but it cannot remain in this empty state forever, otherwise, it will not have any meaning at all - this nightmare Las Vegas must be made of meaning, and this meaning will also be embodied in the way of "people".

As I looked at each of the place names on the map, the sky seemed to be brighter, and although it was still gray overall, the change was particularly noticeable in the empty landscape. When I looked up, I saw that the clouds had been blown away a little bit, and a corner of another view was revealed higher up. It was not a natural sight like a sky, a sun, or a cloud, but an icy and hard outline of an artificial creature.

"Las Vegas?" Although there was no surprise in any weirdness in such a nightmare, what I saw suddenly reminded me of something more. I was sure I was right, on the other side of the sky, there was another Las Vegas City, and although it didn't take long to see it because of the clouds and distance, it was even more dilapidated than where I was, and it was like a ruin, overlapping with what I had seen when I had just broken into Las Vegas with the army.

I looked over there at this time, and I had a strong sense of immediacy, as if I was standing in a corner of the ruins of a building at that time, looking at the upside-down city in the sky. Perhaps, where I am now, is the upside-down city we saw at that time? And the upside-down building that we climbed to get here, connected to the ruined building, is somewhere here? I thought back to the general location of the building and sprang away.

If the actual situation is consistent with my suspicion, then the act of climbing the building at that time was actually the process of entering this nightmare scene from the outside world. The dream of consciousness and the city of non-consciousness are connected in a strange way, and it is completely explained why everyone in the team did not make it to the top that seemed not far away, but instead had a lot of troubles, some of them were directly involved in the repeater world like me, and another group of members led by rivets used other methods to enter the ruling bureau and use it as a springboard to find a way to enter the repeater world.

If the upside-down city we saw at that time was the nightmare city of this state of consciousness, if the electronic demon was really part of the security mechanism of this repeater, and the "mysterious" spread that had appeared in the repeater world, and the spread of the guessed electronic demon were also as expected, and even if the electronic nightmare and this nightmare city did have a zài relationship, these various factors have either been determined, or are just conjectures, all of which are regarded as facts, then, this nightmare, There is a 90% chance that the core of the repeater is located.

No, it is not appropriate to describe it this way, perhaps it should be said that the core of the repeater, the "spiritual integration device", exists anywhere, but the place where it can really be touched, and where it can really be presented in the form of an "object that can be touched", is here.

Although the Spiritual Integration Device and the Personality Preservation Device are similar in name, their appearance should be different, otherwise, the competition for the repeater should be more intense and direct, and it should not be like now, even if you enter the world of the repeater, you still have no clue how to start. And the reason why they are sure that they must enter the repeater world in order to implement the strategy of the Las Vegas repeater also means that they each have a repeater's network ball and Area 51, and they have a deep understanding of the "must do this" by drawing on the characteristics of the repeater they have. (To be continued......)