"It's a game that's not fair to me, I don't know what other people think, but they know everything about me. And I feel that after three days, the cost of this risk is getting smaller and smaller for everyone, and it seems that the other me is quite satisfying. ”

Jiang He and I got closer, and she was almost face to face with me: "You can't expect everyone to treat two souls differently than others, not to mention that they also share the same body. ”

Nurse Ye walked in with a plate with some instruments on it, and went out again after putting it down.

I withdrew my gaze and looked at Jiang He, although I was weak, I couldn't help but want to express: "Then what should I do?" I had a strange feeling of being valued and neglected, and it hurt me, as if my mom had made me something delicious and someone else had stolen it, and my mom thought I had enjoyed it. ”

"How do you want mom to be? Even if the mother understands the situation, it depends on who is stealing the food, and if it is another child, it is not much different. Jiang He continued to stare at me, and finally pouted: "What's more, they still share the same body." ”

My brain is still a little dazed, I can't be sure if Jiang He is making a bad joke, after more than ten years of contact, I found that she has more black humor qualities, maybe anthropology itself is black humor, I don't know what can make her fuss after being exposed to it for a long time.

Jiang He handed me the paste-like vegetables again: "Just treat these as delicious things made by your mother, if you eat them, you will take advantage of them, and I will also designate you as genuine because of this." ”

I turned away, the smell of the food disgusting me: "I'm glad my situation is still humorous." ”

Jiang He put the food away from me, she looked a little thin, wearing a white tight shirt and black slim pants, flat soft shoes should have been influenced by the nurse, I have experience in taking care of patients, I can imagine that she must have suffered a lot these days.

Jiang He sat next to me and asked me what I was thinking, and I said, "I'm thinking about the injection." ”

Jiang He said: "I have to fight three more times, and I have the opportunity to taste it slowly." ”

I said, "I was thinking that when I was a child, you gave me an injection in the poplar forest, which was the biggest loss in my life, and you still owe me an injection." ”

Jiang He laughed: "Staring at me, you're thinking about this?" ”

I sighed and nodded: "My limited life experience has taught me a truth, what I want to do is to be done immediately, my own rights must not be given up, and if I miss the opportunity, I will no more." ”

"When did you figure it out?"

"I don't know, I've been able to figure it out all the time in my life, but what I lack is courage."

Nurse Ye walked in, smiled and asked me, "I'm going to have a spinal injection, I'll untie the fixation belt, can I resist the pain and not move?" ”

Jiang He looked at me, and I nodded. The pain of the intervention is much lighter than on the first day, and I don't understand why I still have to tie it up.

Nurse Ye unfastened all the straps, took off my hospital gown, and wiped my body with a slightly damp towel, I smelled the sour smell of my body, and I said, "It looks like I haven't taken a shower for a few days." ”

Nurse Ye said: "I explained to you that you can't get wet during this time, just bear with it." ”

I only wore diapers to scrub my body around on the bed, and I had to take care of the needles in my arms not to pull out, Jiang He helped carry the tube and other connections, and followed me. Sickness can easily break down all dignity and shame, and deep healing reaches the point where the flesh is no longer completely self-possessed, it is open and humble, and pain may only be a weight to gain mercy.

The nurse put on a surgical gown with an open back, made me lie on my side, and then disinfected a large area on my back.

Two male doctors I had never seen walked in and nodded and smiled at me, I glanced at Jiang He and greeted them as well, Jiang He leaned down and whispered to me, "It hurts the most when I get the anesthetic injection, and it will be much better next." ”

This should not be called an injection, it is obviously a minor operation, and the most painful part is really concentrated in the anesthesia stage. The anesthetic needle was applied to the spine, and the pain went directly to the brain without conduction, but compared to the pain on the first day of intervention, it was still pediatric, and the most unbearable thing for me was the fear of someone making a puncture in the spine, and I was worried that I would be paralyzed if I was not careful.

Later, I learned that the liquid was not injected into the spine, but into the cerebrospinal fluid. Drugs are injected into the cerebrospinal fluid (CSF) from the back spine through the ligaments and dura mater. To prevent excessive intracranial pressure, it is also necessary to slowly push the drug with the cerebrospinal fluid while withdrawing back. Jiang He said that because of the blood-brain barrier, it is difficult for stem cell intervention to enter the brain, so the medicine must be injected directly.

Because of the suppression of the anesthetic, the pain is very low, but the soreness is unbearable, the needle in my spine will be pushed and pumped for a while, and the pressure directly acting on the brain makes me feel like a balloon that will bulge up and deflat.

The whole process was over in about an hour, and the two nurses cleaned up quickly, and finally changed me into another hospital gown, which quickly tied me up again.

Jiang He had been standing three steps away to avoid affecting the work of the doctors and nurses, and then he came over to me quickly: "Wait for the medicine to take effect, you have to be careful not to bite your tongue, they won't nag about this after the fourth operation." "Then the nurse came over and stuffed a mouthguard in my mouth, and I didn't really say a word.

The effect of the medicine came quickly, and the spine was ignited like a torch and roasted my brain, and the exploding pain spread from the Heavenly Spirit Cover to my limbs, and I trembled like an electric shock.

The nurse brought another bottle of medicine and connected it to the right tube as last time, Jiang He kept helping me wipe my sweat, and only repeated one word in his mouth: "Relax, relax......"

Before I was about to fall asleep, Jiang He patted my face and said, "Look at me! Look at me! ”

The pain made my tear ducts out of control, I burst into tears like someone hit my nose, and at the last moment I looked at Jiang He with my eyes wide open in a daze, and then it was like turning off the TV, and the picture disappeared.

I woke up again on the seventh day of the second phase of the intervention, and it seemed that time was lost a lot, and the other I was much more willing to participate in the treatment than I was.

Jiang He was wearing a navy blue skirt, with her long hair coiled behind her head, her complexion looked whiter, and she was haggard than she was three days ago, with faint dark circles under her eyes.

Jiang He said to me: "One more intrathecal injection, the treatment of gene self-consistency will be over, and the second item will start tomorrow." ”

The whole treatment process is the same as last time, but when the effect of the drug is onset, the brain is burned and becomes like kicking, there is no pain, just bombardment again and again, the kick is full of stars, I bared my teeth and said to Jiang He: "The medicine is different every time, it didn't fool me at all." "I can't count the number of kicks I lost consciousness, Jiang He sat beside me and looked at me, his face full of worry.

I was woken up by Jiang He, and only a dozen hours had passed, during which I had been asleep. Nurse Ye led two nurses to untie me, and then began to remove the stem cell isolation instrument. Because the eye of the needle is relatively large, the nurse asked me to bend my arm, and then pressed one side at a time for more than ten minutes, and the nurse said that the blood would spurt out as soon as I let go of my hand, and it was difficult to stop.

I tried to take a breath and suggested that you might as well try it, and help me shoot it, and when I go out, I can show off to the two nurses and spray blood. Jiang He frowned and glared at me.

The tearing and swelling pain that I felt seven days ago has basically disappeared, and now that the separator has been removed, it is like a world away. I touched my swollen and stiff face, and changed to a stranger person. Although there is a constant temperature air conditioner in the treatment room, I have lost a lot of cold sweat this week, and my whole body is sour and greasy, and Nurse Ye still does not agree to take a bath, she said that she should not touch the water for three days. I said to Jiang He: "Another bowl of millet brown sugar eggs, the feeling of confinement will be complete." Jiang He said: "I'm in such a good mood early in the morning, I can't talk about skipping breakfast." ”

After dry scrubbing, I changed into a hospital gown and diaper, and Jiang He's breakfast was also served, and I barely ate a little. I asked Jiang He what he was going to do next, and Jiang He said: "It's hard to say, the first two stages of medical treatment have actually completed the first item of the plan, that is, the problem of gene fusion and self-consistency, which is similar to the process I had back then, but the treatment methods have been very different, after all, technology is advancing." From today, I will carry out the second treatment, that is, the treatment of multiple personalities, I showed autonomic disorders back then, which is different from you, so the treatment methods are definitely not the same, I have communicated with the treatment team, as far as I know, the treatment idea is probably to eliminate the personality outside the subject like a target, and we understood the same as before. ”

I shrugged my shoulders and said, "I can't imagine how to shoot this target, modern medicine has no cure for mental illness, and it can only be barely controlled, it will not be to tie me up again and sprinkle some holy water, and then read the law in a hurry to pick up the peachwood sword and stab this kind of target." "At the end of the day, I almost couldn't get up in one breath.

Jiang He said: "Genes are like songs recorded on master tape, third-rate singers can't sing well, so they modify it through technology on the computer, which is much simpler and more direct than teaching a person with incomplete notes to learn to sing." That's pretty much the same thing they think about curing diseases. Jiang He continued: "Don't they all say that knowledge is power, and in a few years, human beings will definitely redefine the connotation of power." ”

Nurse Ye came in again, holding a set of shaving utensils in her hand, and smiled at me. I glanced at Jiang He and said to the head nurse, "It's only been a few days, it hasn't grown long, I don't have the strength to go in and shave again." ”

Nurse Ye said: "This time I shaved my hair, and I will have to patch it later, so I have to shave it clean, and I can't stick to any hair stubble." ”

Nurse Ye skillfully scraped and wiped it clean and went out.

I said to Jiang He: "I haven't lost my hair after chemotherapy for so long?" ”

Jiang He said: "It wasn't chemotherapy before, it was gene therapy, and of course it didn't lose hair." ”

I asked Jiang He: "On the first day of treatment, I wanted to ask, did you shave all for hygiene?" ”

Jiang He just wanted to answer, but instead slapped me on the bald head.

My head was densely covered with a lot of metal patches, and with the wiring of the original monitoring equipment, I can't count how many wiring are connected to my body.

A nurse came in and hung a bottle of medicine on me, the speed of the drop was a little frightening, and I made a point to confirm with her, I didn't want to suffer so much and die at the hands of a sloppy nurse.