Today's mood is really very depressing, late arrival and early departure for me is like three meals a day so normal, but early this morning the boss called to urge me to go to the company early, because there is a batch of export orders to be issued, I have to register, so today it is rare to get up before eight o'clock, super fast preparation to go to work, as soon as I arrived at the company began to be busy, has not stopped, a morning is running around, last night more than two o'clock to sleep, in the morning and less than eight o'clock to get up, plus a morning busy, I was already in a bad spirit, coupled with too much energy consumption, so that I was on the verge of collapse all day, rare, today I worked overtime, an hour late to get off work, which was simply impossible for me before, so today I am really tired for a day, and I still feel physically and mentally exhausted.

Tired of the heart? Yes, last night's group was finally disbanded by me, under my willfulness, under the premise that I don't consider the feelings of others, I terminated its existence, all along, I have been very willful, from my continuous retreat from the various groups, and keep going back, it can be seen that I don't understand myself, really, for me, the group is the most important group, established by myself, like my heart, but I'm really ruthless, I even cut my own heart, I don't think there are many people who can do what I do, It's not that I don't like it, it's not that I hate it, but I can abandon it so forbearantly, or I shouldn't say abandon it, I should say let it die like this, how innocent it is, it's only been a month since it was established I transferred it, let hate take over my mess, it's only been a month and a half, I disbanded it again, all because it has such a willful lord as me.

Since the moment I kicked all the book friends yesterday, I cried, this feeling is not the first time, but it is the strongest one, crying for nearly an hour, no matter what group I retreat, I will cry, sometimes it is a feeling of reluctance, because there is an attachment to the group, sometimes it is a feeling of indignation, because my heart is hurt, so it will still be uncomfortable, I feel that since I have come into contact with mortals, I have become sensitive, I have always thought that I was strong, but after really contacting mortals, I found that I am not actually strong, Maybe in reality, I'm like this, I'm just used to being on guard, used to looking at all the facts with a strong side, used to disguising my real side, and the network is virtual, in the case that everyone doesn't know each other, I show my truest side, from just coming into contact with the obedient image of mortals, to gradually getting acquainted with everyone, all my bad temper has come out, from time to time to make a temperament, so that everyone is often bullied by me, I'm really embarrassed, you don't have to accommodate me anymore, Don't hold back my unreasonableness anymore.,I'm really sorry...

I'm afraid of getting hurt, I'm afraid that others won't agree with me, I don't recognize, I've always thought I'm very free, I've always thought I'm a self-centered person, I've always thought that "go your own way, let others say it" as my famous saying, I thought I never cared about other people's opinions, but I was wrong, more than one person said I had changed in the past few days, I admit that I can't accept it, I am cowardly in my heart, so I chose to avoid, and then took the worst way to escape...

I saw a post from a book friend in the afternoon.,He asked why he T dropped.,Yes,I T him.,But I didn't tell him why.,I didn't even have the courage to explain in the post.,I'm really a failure.,Yesterday although T all the people.,But I didn't explain to them.,Didn't give him a reason.,I'm willful.,The book friends of the group are pulled from all kinds of mortal people.,Many of them are old friends.,When the group was first established,Except for a small part of my own friends., Most of them are pulled by the connections of the slender fiber.,The egg group was established after I had been discussing with the fiber.,For me,The egg group is not my alone.,It's me and the fiber.,It's shared by the members of the egg group.,So I'm very selfish.,When I want to end it,,I treat it as if it's all mine.,I didn't care about everyone's feelings.,Let everyone taste the feeling of being T.,If in terms of my character.,T for no reason,I'll be very angry.,From the perspective of a bystander, I really can't accept a person who is so willful like me, a person who is so capricious and ignorant is something I will never like, so they have no reason to tolerate my willfulness, and my ignorance should not be paid for by them, so I am here to say to you: I am very sorry.

Really emotional, after the disbandment of the group, Xian Xian didn't ask a word, I was really ashamed, thinking that I often say that she is the same as the little girl, the little girl's heart, sometimes she also says that she is not sensible, very willful, in fact, the person who is really ignorant and willful is me, the last time I wanted to disband the group, at that time, because her quota for building a senior group was gone, but she still asked me to transfer the group to her, she said that she could disband one, the importance of keeping me, very moved, she said that every time she thought of me with her, she would continue to work hard, She also said that I have to be stronger, otherwise she can't find a reason to stay, in fact, if there is no her, I will not have the direction of effort, the support for me to stay in the Fan District is because of the slender there, because of her, so I entered the Fan District, I know many book friends in the book review area, she is my motivation, my pillar, but I often make her sad and crying, very self-blamed, I know that every time I leave makes her cry, I remember telling her a long time ago that I hope her next tears are shed at her wedding, But I broke my promise, because I made her cry. Alas..

Every time she wants to leave, I will only ask her in a questioning tone, and sometimes I deliberately use words to stimulate her, but Slim is different, every time I want to leave, she will say that as long as I am happy, my happiness is the most important, right! She only cares if I will be happy, she cares about my personal feelings, but I am the opposite, she wants to leave, but I told her that everyone will be sad, I didn't tell her that as long as she is happy, I didn't stand in her position, I didn't really care about her personal feelings, so I was a failure, I don't deserve her to be so good to me, many good friends have left, has made her very uncomfortable, I know these best, but I also joined the team that made her uncomfortable, I am really sorry for her.

After disbanding the group last night, Xiao Sun immediately sent a message, very moved, although she is younger than me, most of the time she is very childish, but whenever I am in a bad mood, she is very understanding of people, she said, "Wife, I know you must be sad, if you don't want to say it, forget it" "Wife, you have never changed in my eyes" "Wife, you have always been a good girl in my eyes, really." I really like you. I don't want you to be sad" "Well, wife, as long as you are happy, I will support you in whatever you do." I know you're going to be sad...... Woo woo woo" "Hee hee, my wife is happy, I like you to laugh the most, like a mouse" "That wife, you can cry better" These words really touched me, when I chatted with her yesterday, my tears couldn't stop at all, I told her, I was really sad, when I cried, she understood me. The last thing I want to hear,Little Sun didn't say a word,She's younger than me.,But I've always tolerated my willful ignorance.,I'm satisfied to meet such a confidant in my online life.。。。

There are a lot of people, really thank them, in the group for more than a month, I am very happy, it is they who make me so warm, make me so happy, know them, I am really happy. Thank you.....

Finally,I'm sorry.,All the members of the group who were T-me.,I'm very sorry.。。。。

---------------- wayward Fei'er