Two weeks later, I underwent orthopedic surgery.

I don't know how I spent the first two weeks, I didn't want to see people, I didn't want to talk, I didn't want to eat, I didn't want to get up, I just wanted to fall asleep, but I couldn't sleep. Sometimes when I walk to the window and look at the busy streets downstairs, I always wonder what kind of life they are living, what they are happy for, and under the happy appearance, haven't they experienced the stories that make them sad? What I am most afraid of is waking up in the morning, I will dream of Shao Yang every night, the dream is still the same as before, or the original love, and when I wake up from the dream, I have to remind myself: I lost him. This reminder is the cruelest thing I've ever done to myself.

My parents had been picked up by Zhang Teng in Jiangcheng, and they accompanied the medical staff to push me into the operating room. I remember the long journey from the ward to the operating room, I was lying in bed, I heard the noise of the crowd, but I couldn't hear what they were saying, I felt the wind blowing on both sides of the bed, but I couldn't hear the wind, and the waits on the ceiling flashed in front of me, bright and dark.

Many people in the operating room are dressed in green. Someone talked to me for a while, and soon I fell asleep. I dreamed of fiery kapok, and I wore the uniform of a female student during the Republic of China and recited Yishu's "To the Oak Tree" under the tree. It was a wonderful, wonderful dream, the most restful sleep I've had in two weeks.

The operation lasted seven hours and I had four steel nails in my lumbar spine. When I was woken up, I was still lying in the operating room, and the doctor told me that the operation was successful and that I could be pushed back to the ward.

Mom was anxiously guarding the door of the operating room with tears in her eyes, Dad was sitting motionless on the chair, and Zhang Teng leaned his back against the wall with his head down. When I was pushed out, they all swarmed around at once. I don't know what Zhang Teng said to his parents, since they came to Jiangcheng, they haven't said a word about Shaoyang, as if this person has never appeared in my life.

The pain in my lower back was intense, and I tried to squeeze out a smile, and then I gently said the word "pain", and then everyone laughed. Later, Zhang Teng told me that this was the only sentence I had said in two weeks.

Long after I got back to the room, the nurse came and removed the tube that was pinned to my nose for oxygen. Zhang Teng asked Octopus to take his parents to his suburban house to rest, but my mother refused to leave, so I persuaded her to leave.

After they left, Zhang Teng sat down next to me, he held my hand, and asked with a contemptuous smile: "When I was a child, I protected you, right?" I didn't have much strength and nodded weakly. He continued, "You can protect me this time, because you are made of steel." I was amused by him, and I was too weak to speak. After a long time, I suddenly remembered that Zhang Teng had been helping me pay for my medical expenses since I was hospitalized, so I said to him: "When I get better, I will return these hospitalization expenses to you." Zhang Teng smiled, his eyes were quiet and gentle, "You remember when you were a child, you always liked to follow me, I bought you a lot of delicious food at that time, and you always said that you would pay me back in the future, but now I haven't seen you return it to me." ”

I laughed and said, "That's different. Before the next words could be spoken, Zhang Teng hurriedly said: "It's different!" The money you paid for your hospitalization now is just scratching the surface for me, and when I was a kid, the money to buy you delicious food was all I had at that time. ”

I just felt my heart twitch violently in an instant, and it felt like I had suddenly eaten the sour lover plum in the world. So I stopped talking, turned my head to the other side, and closed my eyes slightly.

Zhang's mother said that Zhang Teng didn't return overnight on the night of my birthday, I thought he was sad about Shen Qi, and I thought he was remembering the past with Shen Qi. In fact, he looked at my window in front of my building all night, and he was remembering his past with me.

Jiangcheng in October began its autumn season. Autumn in Jiangcheng is very short, but it is a very comfortable and beautiful season.

On the third day after the operation, I was able to walk around the ground, but my body was very weak, and the pain still haunted me and I refused to leave. My mother watched me walk with difficulty, she kept wiping her tears and muttering: let this child suffer these sins, why don't you let me suffer!

Although the nurse aunt took good care of me, my parents and Zhang Teng still took turns to accompany me. Most of the time I was confined to bed. I said that my legs were very cold, so Zhang Teng found two hot water bags and put them on my legs. After a long time, my leg was burned by low temperature, and I lost a lot of skin. I couldn't sit up on my own, so with the help of the nurse aunt, I slowly sat up sideways, looking at the burn marks on my calf, some of the past came to mind, and I saw a rabbit jumping in the burn and thought that I had drawn a rabbit on the scar on Shaoyang's calf. Finally, the emotions that had been suppressed for too long broke down, and I began to cry, crying uncontrollably, tears kept pouring out, and there were too many past events coming at me, like a waterfall.

Since I came to Jiangcheng after the breakup, I have not shed a single tear. Maybe sad, maybe helpless, there is no strength in the whole body, sometimes in a daze, sometimes sighing, but never crying. I closed the memories of myself and Shao Yang and sealed them. I held on with my pitiful pride and pride, thinking that there was not a single gap that would open up the memory and forget the past. It's a pity that no matter how much I seal it, it's already full of holes. A similar burn crushed me, and tears flowed uncontrollably.

The nurse aunt saw that I was crying a lot, and she didn't know what was wrong with me, so she rushed out to find the nurse. Just in time for Zhang Teng to come in to visit me from outside, as soon as he entered the door, he saw me crying, hurriedly put down the things in his hand, squatted on the side of the bed, looked at my scalded calf, and blew lightly with his lips. After the nurse ran in, she looked at my burns, then at the hot water bag on the bed, and scolded Zhang Teng: "Who asked you to use a warm water bag for her?" Low-temperature burns are worse than high-temperature burns, don't you know? Zhang Teng ignored her and continued to blow. The nurse carefully examined the wound again and said, "It's fine, it will scab over in two days." ”

I don't care what they say, my mind is full of memories of yesterday.

The nurse said, "Alright, let her lie down." ”

Zhang Teng and the nurse helped me lie down together. The nurse asked, "How are you feeling today?" "My eyes were blurry with tears, and I didn't say anything, not because I didn't want to tell her that I was still in pain, but because I didn't want to speak, I didn't want to open my mouth.

After the nurse left, Zhang Teng took out the two water bags, he looked at me very self-reproaching and distressed, I didn't speak, I didn't look at him, just silently shed tears. He pulled the chair down to the side of the bed, covered me with the quilt, told the nurse to leave, and then picked up my feet with both hands and warmed my feet with the temperature of his hands. I didn't evacuate, and I didn't react, I just hoped that the person who was with me at this moment was Shaoyang, and if he warmed his feet for me like this, I would definitely be moved to tears.

I turned my face to the other side and went to sleep when I was tired of crying. I dreamed that I was back on campus at F University, and I dreamed that I was only nineteen years old. And the strange thing is that Shaoyang is now Shaoyang, and we just broke up. He has a new girlfriend, a short-haired girl on the campus of F University, with a mediocre appearance and an ordinary personality. I held the phone, let go of the last of my dignity and called him to beg him to come back, he said a lot of hurtful things, and then hung up the phone, completely shielding me from his life. I looked for him, I searched for many places, every classroom, every corner, even every men's bathroom, no matter how much I searched, he never showed up. Then I started stalking his new girlfriend until I finally followed her to Shaoyang's car, and before I could check to see if there was anyone in the car, I was awakened by a cracking sound. In the hallway, the head nurse was reprimanding the little nurse for breaking the medicine bottle. I let out a long sigh of relief, feeling so tired. Looking sideways, I found that Zhang Teng was still holding my feet, pillowing his head on the side of the bed and falling asleep tiredly.

These days, Zhang Teng is already too tired. I don't speak, and he accompanies me when I don't speak. Every day, he would make a lot of dishes in front of me, trying to coax me to eat them like a child. It seems that I have a knot hidden in my heart that cannot be untied, and Zhang Teng also has a pimple in his heart. He was careful not to mention Shao Yang, not to mention Ting Nan, and not even to mention everything about the past. Now he was asleep, but his brow was still frowning, and the deep word "Chuan" was imprinted between his eyebrows, as if he were an officer in the trenches, ready to wake up at any moment, and then give orders to go into battle to kill the enemy.