Even if I don't feel pain in my dreams, who will tell me why I feel pain but can't stand it? When the scissors were pulled out, there was no scar on my hand! Not at all! It's not a dream, but what is it? The scissors fell to the ground with a crisp thud, and even if it didn't poke into my hand, it poked into my heart.

The thick ink in the dream means that there is no such perfect thing, all the bad things are gone. The world is completely ideal, it ...... Tears dripped onto the cupboard, one, two, and it probably wasn't the real world.

I sat down on the floor weakly, put my hands on my forehead, and let out a cry. Why? Why am I discovering these! Isn't that bad? Everybody's here, they're all here...... Even Ouyang is not dead, how good this world is, this is what I want, the world I want......

What to do? What to do? What should I do? Am I going back? I don't want it! Don't go back! It's warm here, there's no conspiracy, I don't want to go back. The cool air on the ground penetrated into my body, and the cold came as scheduled, such a real feeling, the people here are flesh and blood. Why can't I stay? I gasped, and the white breath on my lips told me how often I gasped. I tried to get up from the ground, but it felt like everything was illusory, everything was moving, and the sky was spinning. It was as if I was the only one left in the world, but it was clear that everyone was there, and only my difficult gasps could be heard in the silence around me.

I grabbed the legs of the table, and my hands slowly moved up, thick ink, where is the real you? Where am I now? I finally climbed into bed and lay down in a daze, how do I get back? No, I can't go back! There wasn't what I wanted there! All I want is in this world! Here, no one ...... No one will take them away, no one will harm me, they will not leave me again. What will I see when I go back? her ...... Is she ...... No! The family milk is still alive and well! She's alive and well here! Uncle too!

I rolled over, pulled back the covers and shrunk in, leaving only my eyes exposed. I can act as if I don't know anything, I don't find anything, no matter where this is, I'm going to stay here, stay here......

"Xuanzi." The grandmother pushed the door in, I got up from the bed with a grunt, and saw the grandmother bring me a small cardboard box, "Xuanzi, it's cold to study at night, put your feet in, and the grandmother has put a hot water bottle in it for you." She closed the door as she spoke, preventing the wind from taking advantage of the opportunity to enter the house.

She looked back and saw me sitting on the bed, the quilt was also messed up, and the wrinkles on her face were almost laughing, "Sleep so early tonight?" She simply pulled out the hot water bottle from the torn clothes in the cardboard box, "Then put it on the bed and cover Xuanzi's feet." ”

"Milk." I rushed over and hugged her, "Grandma, aren't you just a grandma?" You're the grandmother. ”

"Oh yo oh yo, this is crying again, Xuanzi has been crying several times." The grandmother stuffed the hot water bottle into the quilt distressedly, then gave me a haircut, and carefully wiped the tears on her face, "Your parents will come to see you tomorrow and stay here for a long time, you are in your third year of high school, and they all want to spend more time with you during this time." "Mom and Dad are coming, and how many days are coming? This was what I dreamed of before, it was completely in my head, and now it has come true, but these ......

The grandmother stepped back and stepped on the scissors on the ground, she picked up the scissors strangely, "Does Xuanzi want to cut anything with scissors?" Where you need to cut it, tell your grandmother, where you need to do it yourself. She sighed, slapped my hand hard, and muttered, "Your hands are for learning." ”

"Milk." My nose was sour, "Grandma, if, one day we are separated, will you miss me?" "If I leave this world, will you miss me? Perhaps, as soon as I leave, this place will disappear, and it will not form a world at all.

The grandmother was stunned for a moment, then her face changed a little, and her voice became smaller, "Of course, but Xuanzi still has to take the university entrance examination, no matter how far away you are, the grandmother will miss you." ”

"Milk." I hugged it again, "Grandma, I can't bear you, I can't bear my uncle, I really want to stay, I really want to be with you forever, never separate......"

The grandmother patted me gently on the back, "Xuanzi, you are still a child, everyone in the world will be separated, but the family that loves each other will get together one day." She gently soothed me, "No matter how far apart you are, your hearts will be together, and you always have to go back to the lost city." There will always be growth, there will always be a distance, but believe that there will always be goodbye. ”

"Grandma, but I really can't bear it, what if, if I can't think of it anymore?" The more I cried, the more fierce I became, "Who knows, who knows if you will be gone forever when you turn around?" The world is impermanent, I'm so afraid. "I'm so afraid that I won't be able to see the real world after a while, I don't want to be like that, how can I not have a family milk? There is no uncle there, and this place can make up for my regrets, almost all of them.

"Silly Xuanzi, you have said that the world is impermanent, so what does this have to do with you going to college? Whether you go or not, everything is impermanent, why worry so much. The grandmother said. I have to say that what my grandmother said made a lot more sense than I realized on my own. But my inner problem is not the same thing as what my grandmother said, what I said was that I wanted to go back to the real world, there was a slight difference between the two, here I could have my grandmother and uncle, but not necessarily over there, I didn't dare to gamble, I didn't dare to gamble with the lives of my relatives. Even if there is no life in the living world, they are not living beings, but as long as I see them, as long as there is zài in front of my eyes, I want to believe that they are real, not hallucinations. If I go back, I won't have to, my favorite family, my favorite grandmother...... She doesn't have to be waiting for me over there.

I don't know how I ended up falling asleep, but my grandmother kept sitting on the edge of my bed and patting my chest on the back, humming a lullaby from my childhood, with a warm hot water bottle at my feet. It was warm from the soles of my feet to the bottom of my heart, and in the cold, I fell asleep. "Ah Xuan!" As soon as I fell asleep, I heard the sound of thick ink, and I knew very well that this was a dream, really clear, so clear that as soon as I fell asleep, I felt like I was in.

"Thick ink, is that you?" I asked, "Are you in my dream, right?" ”

"Ah Xuan is me! I'm thick ink! Don't be trapped in your own world, Ah Xuan, that's not true! Thick Mo's voice was in a hurry, as if he had been working hard for a long time.

"Thick ink, where am I?" I was in the middle of a large grassland, and the voice of thick ink seemed to come from the sky, "thick ink, where are you?" How long have I been here? ”

"Ah Xuan." Nong Mo seemed to breathe a sigh of relief again, "Ah Xuan, you know? You know that's fake? He continued: "Ah Xuan, you have to overcome yourself! Where you are, you are not there, you are in your own heart! You're just living in the world of your own creation! I've been looking for you for a long time, and it turns out that you are just imprisoned in your own inner world! ”

"My inner world?" I got the message from thick ink's eager words, and I thought about what happened, a qiē of this world, "Thick ink, this world is beautiful, it's good, okay I don't want to go out, you know?" As soon as I turned around, the scene around me changed again, a school appeared in front of me, and I saw Ouyang and his parents, they were walking on the side of the playground, talking and laughing, so happy, "There are so many people here in thick ink, and a lot of bad things haven't happened, so peaceful, so warm." ”

As soon as I turned around, I saw my uncle again, he was planting herbs with his aunt, and the corners of my aunt's mouth showed a lot of happiness, "Uncle is also there, thick ink, uncle is also there, I haven't had time to see my uncle for the last time." "This has always been a great regret in my heart, and I'm afraid it's also a lifelong regret, but I saw him again," and there are a lot of them. The pace of my speech became more and more uncontrollable, "And many, many more!" ”

"Ah Xuan!" The thick ink tone was full of worry, "Ah Xuan, wake up!" What you see, it's because your heart is clean, that's what you think in your heart, what you want to get, deep down in your heart will be presented to you. ”

"yes, I'm a normal person now, thick ink." Before I knew it, the wind blew through my tears, "I thought about it for years, many, many years." I stared at the sky vacantly, "It's really been years, it's been too long, and my heart has broken several times when I think about it." Thick ink, you don't know how comfortable I am now. ”

"Ah Xuan, don't do this! Ah Xuan, it's all fake! Thick Mo actually gasped as he spoke, "Don't you want me?" ”

It's just the last sentence, like a steel nail piercing my heart, with a stabbing sound, all my disguises have been recognized, and all my escapes have been destroyed, "Ah Xuan, they are all illusory, they are not alive!" What you see is just what you want to see! All the people you love are in real life, how they should be and what they are, no matter how well everyone is in your world! No matter how good the atmosphere you create yourself, in real life, you still have a needle stuck in you! The people who love you are here to accompany you to suffer, can you bear it? ”

"Thick ink, if I don't go out, then I ...... in the real world"

"Vegetative people, vegetative people who have always lived in their own world." Nong Mo said, "Ah Xuan, you have hidden in your own small world, have you ever thought about us living in pain?" What about your ambitions? So many families, don't you want them? What about the Serpents? What about Taiyin? What about me......"

A city in my heart collapsed, the tiles flew away, the sky was full of dust, I walked aimlessly in the grassland, I couldn't distinguish the east, south, north, west, and north, only followed by the sound of thick ink, I looked up at the sky, and my eyes were full of ashes......