Since Jingping has the habit of writing a diary, he will definitely write down the things that happened before leaving Mingchen Temple and what he thought in his heart.

The last diary was dated April 21, 1995, and according to the information in the hands of the comrades, the time when Lian Luodan left Mingchen Temple should be after April 21.

The contents of the diary also confirmed the judgment of the five people.

Let's take a look at the diary entry from April 21st:

On April 21, 1995, the weather was cloudy.

"Recently, I often have nightmares, I thought that Mingchen Temple was the place where I settled down, but I didn't expect my mother to come up the mountain more and more times, as long as I saw her, my heart was very uncomfortable, very painful, and my mood could not calm down for a long time. Seeing my mother's desperate eyes, I was even more desperate, she wanted to know why I came to Mingchen Temple, can I tell her? I want to live my life here in peace, but God can't satisfy even this little wish. Abbot Huijue asked me to let go of all distractions and have no distractions. In front of the Buddha, people are very small, just a pair of skins. But it's hard for me to let go of all distractions, and I'm afraid that only when I go to a place where no one knows can my mood really calm down.

Where is my place to live? ”

Ouyang Ping used a pen to write on "I thought Mingchen Temple was the place where I settled down", "Can I tell her?" "I'm afraid that only when I go to a place where no one knows can my mind calm down" and "Where is my place to live?" A wavy line was drawn underneath the four sentences.

The message of these four sentences is:

First, Jingping has the meaning of leaving Mingchen Temple, and this "leaving" has two meanings, one is to spend the rest of his life in a place where his family can't find it; The second is to end my own life, the kingdom of heaven is "a place that no one knows", and only when I go to heaven can my mood really calm down. This can also be seen in the "Where is my place to live?" The fact is that apart from Mingchen Temple, Lian Luo Dan really has no other place to settle down.

Second, the things I can't tell my mother should be the things that my adoptive father Lian Le Ya has ravaged me, and I really can't tell my mother about this kind of thing.

The second diary entry was written on July 3, 1991:

On July 3, 1919, the weather was clear.

"Today, we finally got the registration book, I can finally leave this horrible and dirty home, I heard that the hospital has a dormitory, Miko in our class and I are in the same hospital, her mother has already greeted the hospital leaders, and the hospital has arranged a bed for Miko. I believe that as the years go by, those painful and embarrassing memories will slowly fade away."

"Dirty home" should refer to the adoptive father Lian Leya. He took advantage of Lian Luodan's young ignorance and weak and timid personality to ravage Luo Dan for a long time, and the "painful and embarrassing memory" should refer to this matter.

In the diary on July 6, Lian Luo Dan once again fell into the bottomless abyss, full of helplessness and despair between the lines.

July 6, 1991, weather, moderate rain.

"Today was supposed to be my happiest day, but today became my most painful day, the hospital leader said, the dormitory of the unit is very tight, can not meet my accommodation requirements, I wanted to squeeze with Miko, but Miko was arranged in the top bunk, the key is that the double bed is too narrow, can not sleep two people."