"Miko has been pampered since she was a child, and it is impossible for her to wronged herself and squeeze into a bed with me. In all kinds of helplessness, I thought of my old classmate Cao Sulan, I wanted to go to her house to live for a while, the unit leader promised to wait for the bed to vacate and arrange my dormitory, but to wait patiently for a while, Cao Sulan readily agreed, the problem is that her home is in the east of the city - very far from the hospital, and she has to transfer to the bus three times. ”

"After I got home, I told my mother what I thought, and my mother said she didn't agree after hearing half of it, it was not a parent, a girl lived in a classmate's house, which was very inappropriate - she was not at ease, the key was that Cao Sulan's house was too far away, and our home was very close to the hospital, and there was no need to transfer cars, so it made no sense! I didn't insist anymore - I blamed myself for being weak and unassertive, and of course, I was afraid that my mother would see the clues. What's the solution? Maybe that's my life! ”

There is a diary entry that mentions the photo.

On September 17, 1994, the weather was gloomy and windy.

Judging from the content, this diary was written before refining Luo Dan and becoming a monk:

"Before leaving, I must take all those photos with me - not one of them, those photos carry my past, more of my pain, grow up - after I became sensible, I thought that my father was a hard-working person (this 'father' should be Alchemist Luodan's biological father), but I didn't expect that my life was even more bitter than his. I'm going to erase myself from their lives - I don't want to leave any traces, I'm going to erase everything that remains in their memories, to leave myself in their memories, that's my shame ('they' here should refer to his adoptive father Lian Le Ya and his mother Lan Simeng - Lian Luo Dan still has some complaints about his mother, but mainly refers to his adoptive father Lian Leya).

The only thing that makes me feel entangled: I can't take all the photos related to me with me, if that happens, my mother will be very sad, the pain is doomed - but I still have to leave a little memory for my mother - after all, she has raised me for more than 20 years, so let's give up! As long as I can erase the person who ruined my life from my memory and the world, I will be satisfied. ”

Obviously, "the man who ruined my life" is his adoptive father, Lian Leya. The so-called "a little thought for my mother" should refer to leaving a few family photos. Despite this, we can still feel from Lian Luo Danyang's resolute attitude towards his family and past life from Lian Luo Danyang's handling of photos. Of course, you can also feel the painful and contradictory psychological state before refining Luo Dan to become a monk. The reason why she left those photos of the group was also because she was worried that her mother would see the real reason for her renunciation from the photos, and if she erased herself from all the photos, the mother would be able to guess the reason for her daughter's renunciation, even if she was stupid.

The four diaries can already explain the reasons for Lian Luodan's ordination and leaving Mingchen Temple.

The woman's heart is more detailed, Han Lingling found a problem, when Ouyang Ping was flipping through the diary, Han Lingling noticed: After Lian Luo Dan entered the temple, he insisted on writing a diary every day, but after three months, it was not as normal as before.

Ouyang Ping carefully flipped through it twice, and Han Lingling was indeed not wrong, the interval between each time was one to three days, and the content written was also ordinary things in the temple, such as, "I copied a few scriptures in the Tibetan Scripture Hall today." "What time do you wake up and what time do you turn off your lights these days?" I often have nightmares at night! ”